If I was a...then I would

[cascadiabound]

If I was a cocktail, I'd be an ameretto sour - a little nutty, rather sweet and one is never enough

 

[LostGirlTink]

If I was an ice cream I’d be cherry chip

 

[BadAmy]

If I was a sailor, I'd hoist my main sail. Wink wink.

Some of mine are shit.
Okay?

 

[Coyote100]

If I were BadAmy, I would do whatever a coyote suggested.

 

[BadAmy]

If I were BadAmy, I would do whatever a coyote suggested.

If I was a coyote, I'd suggest badAmy brush her teeth, she's got yuckmouth.

Omg.

did BadAmy just talk in third person?

 

[Coyote100]

If I was a coyote, I'd suggest badAmy brush her teeth, she's got yuckmouth.

Omg.

did BadAmy just talk in third person?

Actually, coyote breath is not a bouquet of flowers either. Maybe we both should brush our teeth and quit talking in third person. OMG! I am agreeing with something BadAmy is saying.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

If I was a pope I would shit in my hat.

 

[BadAmy]

Actually, coyote breath is not a bouquet of flowers either. Maybe we both should brush our teeth and quit talking in third person. OMG! I am agreeing with something BadAmy is saying.

Everyone comes around eventually.

 

[BadAmy]

If I was a tornado, I'd so fucking pick this house.

 

[BrendaD]

If I was a bird, I would dive bomb on cars racing down residential streets.

 

[Coyote100]

If I were really a wolf, I’d live up to my name with all the women on Lit.

 

[BadAmy]

If I were a genie, I would absolutely allow for wishing for more wishes.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

If I was a bird, I would dive bomb on cars racing down residential streets.

If I was a car...I would dodge @BrendaD 's bombs like a champ.

 

[BadAmy]

If I were a drug, i'd be one that makes you forget all the really really really bad shit.

 

[sallysparrow23]

If I were a mirror, I'd reflect what you are.

 

[Cat]

Og I were there, I would spend my time with you.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

If I were a saint, I'd absolve your sins.

 

[MedicalMuse]

If I were easy, I wouldn’t be worth it.

 

[BongoGal]

If I were candy and nuts, we'd all have merry Christmas.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

If I were a book, I’d be your favorite read, the one that you wish would never end and come back to over and over again.

 

[JKL123]

If I were a radio, I'd play all your favorite tunes.

 

[BadAmy]

If I was a toilet, I'd flush it all away.

 

[deft]

If I was Ken, you'd be my Barbie

 

[BadAmy]

If I was Ken, you'd be my Barbie

Awwwww shucks

 

[Booboobear84]

If I WERE stating something contrary to fact, or a wish unfulfilled, I would use the subjunctive (were instead of was). Don't feel bad I read a Supreme Court opinion that got this wrong, but it is wrong. Time for the grammar police to go to bed.