If e-boning was not an available option to you would you go outside your marriage to seek satisfaction?

[lacandy]

The only reason I would be categorical about someone leaving is abuse. Although, even in that case I understand why some don't, or it take a lot of time to do that. Other than that, it is their business. And I don't say that in a negative way. I mean that we simply do not know the full story. People have a long history together. They still have feelings for each other, they have children, they have love. The time will come when neither the dick nor the pussy will care to meet, but the two souls will still be there as strong as vivid as ever.

Oh, if he were like that I would have left long ago. The fact is that we still laugh together but everything else is gone.

Also, if anyone touched my kids I would first figure out how to make them hurt then would be gone. That for me is a no-go line.

 

[Orchidea73]

Oh, if he were like that I would have left long ago. The fact is that we still laugh together but everything else is gone.

Also, if anyone touched my kids I would first figure out how to make them hurt then would be gone. That for me is a no-go line.

Oh, no. I wasn't implying that was your case at all. I have a person very close to me who took the time before getting the divorce, for that reason. It wasn't "heavy" but for me was a still no go. And I remember being so frustrated at the time with this person. I think I was angry that she wouldn't listen to me, and I would refuse to speak to her husband. Again, it taught me a lesson. That people reach to their own conclusions and do things in their own timing. All you can do is be patient and give them an ear and moral support.

 

[lacandy]

Oh, no. I wasn't implying that was your case at all. I have a person very close to me who took the time before getting the divorce, for that reason. It wasn't "heavy" but for me was a still no go. And I remember being so frustrated at the time with this person. I think I was angry that she wouldn't listen to me, and I would refuse to speak to her husband. Again, it taught me a lesson. That people reach to their own conclusions and do things in their own timing. All you can do is be patient and give them an ear and moral support.

Oh, I honestly didn’t take it that way.

When I was in college I worked with an older woman there (she HATED that I would tell her she could be my mom). This woman was super smart, very independent and knew what she wanted in life. I was flabbergasted to find out she’d been in an abusive marriage when she was right out of high school. My opinion changed of her because I was still young and judge mental - like, “How could anyone ever stay in that?” But I talked to her about it and got a different perspective and that’s when I started to not judge other people’s choices - and try to just be kind to people

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Many of us on lit are here to fulfill an unmet need as our spouses or SO’s have had a dramatic decrease in their libidos or are no longer interested in sex. if e-boning was not an available option to you would you go outside of your marriage to seek satisfaction?

Personally, I find myself wondering if having conversations and playtime on lit is helping me to keep from actually having a physical affair.

What are your thoughts?

Edited to remove masturbation as a “not available option.”

For me, I do think Lit likely keeps me online mostly. Not sure it is the same way as many married people here though. I am currently permitted to have sex with other people. There are caveats, of course, but Lit is... well...so much easier.

I met new people in my 20s, become out of touch entrenched in mom life in my 30s, and now in my 40s, it seems like everything, from me, to social dynamics, to the whole damn world completely changed. Meeting people 15 years ago was much easier. You went to a bar and mingled. You can tell rather quickly if you each check enough boxes. It was simple and efficient. People in bars now don't talk to strangers. Hell, it is hard to even find people my age range. It is all online dating or hook up apps, I guess. Don't get me started, I looked. Most charge, for little information, or worse, let women on free but charge men which just feels creepy as fuck. Then there is Tinder. Created an account, found all you get is a couple of pictures and a blurb. At least with Lit, you can read how they communicated with others, how they treat others, what they share, see their sense of humor, what they gravitate to, what they are looking for, all before you attempt to engage. What can I say with a couple of pictures and a blurb? Hell, What can I see in someone else with just a couple of pictures and blurb. A picture doesn't mean much to me. I could try to explain what does, but mostly, I just care about how someone makes me feel. Pictures and blurbs, I just feel nothing at all. Swipe culture just sucks.

I really liked the old hook up culture. So, Lit is not just a compromise and a sort of release, but a safety net, a more open, sexually charged, relevant to my social culture place, like a friendly bar, that makes it easy to say..... yeah fuck swipe culture, let's see who is kicking it on Lit. Without it, I'm sure I'd try harder in the 2023 local hook up scene, but I don't wanna. Get off my lawn with swiping on pictures. sigh.

 

[Kat73]

I have and will again. I have been with more people, both men and women, in the 30+ years I have been with my husband than in the years prior. He knows. We have openly discussed each of my partners in depth. Sometimes he has joined (with the other women), most of the time he has not. He doesn't want details (unless it's with a girlfriend), just wants to know it has happened.

 

[2ServeWoman]

Okay, but why wouldn't masturbation be an option?

Perhaps masturbating is getting old and less fulfilling - such a dirty mind - haven’t but, “might” ponder a safe meet just for coffee with variables that she’d require . . . . .

 

[2ServeWoman]

Perhaps masturbating is getting old and less fulfilling - such a dirty mind - haven’t but, “might” ponder a safe meet just for coffee with variables that she’d require . . . . .

Because it’s not doing what it used to & I crave womanscent & her natural flavors & aromatics which are my kryptonite!

 

[Pad_Foot]

Eh! Neither seem possible anymore
Guilt will ruin any fun you have, if you feel you are cheating, and that can happen with eboning just as easily as a real meeting
If you don’t feel guilt, then your marriage is not that something it should be. That’s between you and your spouse.

 

[2ServeWoman]

Eh! Neither seem possible anymore
Guilt will ruin any fun you have, if you feel you are cheating, and that can happen with eboning just as easily as a real meeting
If you don’t feel guilt, then your marriage is not what something it should be. That’s between you and your spouse.

Considering 16 years of not as much as a hug, she hides her worn panties from me & knows all my kinks & fetishes - has such a flippant attitude like something within her died & she’s unaware or is overconfident I’ll not seek another when she used to be the other woman (?) I’m at wits end, extremely open minded with a different than most drive & im always horny & tired of being an owner operator & could really use physical interaction & may have a coronary during it (lol) I’m a healthy old & wanton pig finding less & less opportunities on line but, I’m open to new possibilities!

 

[munch2much]

This, is a very interesting question.
I know it’s asking for an individuals answer, but for me, more interesting is the thought processes involved.

I guess two questions are a good start. Pro’s and cons I guess. Why would you? And why wouldn’t you?

And these throw up many thoughts. Why not just leave? Religion. Financial practicality. Abusive relationships. Health. Ingrained norms and values. Sense of duty. Childhood experiences. Biological imperative. Personal resilience. Your countries culture and legal system. Whether your partner has earned your allegiance. How it effects the kids.

As a kid the idea of “being unfaithful” was plain wrong. As a kid, TV provides simple storylines with a clear right and wrong. Good and evil. In my childhood TV, the bad guys conveniently wore black even.

But damn is real life complicated.
It’s got to be down to each individual to figure out their thing. Nobody else knows their reality. But that won’t stop them passing judgment of course.

 

[2ServeWoman]

This, is a very interesting question.
I know it’s asking for an individuals answer, but for me, more interesting is the thought processes involved.

I guess two questions are a good start. Pro’s and cons I guess. Why would you? And why wouldn’t you?

And these throw up many thoughts. Why not just leave? Religion. Financial practicality. Abusive relationships. Health. Ingrained norms and values. Sense of duty. Childhood experiences. Biological imperative. Personal resilience. Your countries culture and legal system. Whether your partner has earned your allegiance. How it effects the kids.

As a kid the idea of “being unfaithful” was plain wrong. As a kid, TV provides simple storylines with a clear right and wrong. Good and evil. In my childhood TV, the bad guys conveniently wore black even.

But damn is real life complicated.
It’s got to be down to each individual to figure out their thing. Nobody else knows their reality. But that won’t stop them passing judgment of course.

Nice word salad that didn’t even scratch the surface, huh? Yup complicated and every situation has its own unique reasoning!

 

[PhiloDaddy]

I got married at 23. Had a low libido so meeting someone who has happy with 2-4 times a month was perfect. He’d slap my arse, give me random kisses, and we were pretty happy. Three kids later I’m 37, had the hysterectomy that has removed the excruciating pain I was experiencing after cancer treatments and finally I’m horny as hell. In the meantime I’ve been put on a shelf. He’s not sexually attracted to me and the few friends I’ve spoken to are confused as their husbands want it daily, as would I. Thankfully I found lit because I love him dearly but need to feel desirable and wanted and that hasn’t been the case in ages. It definitely takes a toll on your self worth and strangely lit has had a positive effect on my marriage and my mental health .
Yes I would probably step outside my marriage if lit wasn’t an option, if anyone paid me any attention, I’d be screwed (literally and figuratively)

Please, I will not tolerate him being talked about negatively. We have mismatched libidos and obviously this is my side of the story

I'm a man that married a woman 9 years older than me when I was 24. I thought she would remain frisky and fun but after marriage, pregnancy, post partum depression, fibroids, and gradually diverging world views it's been driving me nuts. Little did I know how growing up with alcoholic parents would impact her ability to love in the long term. I feel trapped. I found a young woman last year o FetLife who wanted to explore a DDlg relationship with me but she turned out to have a very complex, drama-filled life. Ideally, I just want the woman I thought I married. But version 2.0. we're seeking counseling but if this doesn't work...???

 

[2ServeWoman]

Eboning what as t a moronic tag!

 

[2ServeWoman]

Oatmeal is better than no meal!

 

[JessGabriel]

No, I don't have the conscience for it. If hubby gave me permission though, I'd be a total slut about it.

 

[2ServeWoman]

I’m uncertain how I’ve gone almost 17 YEARS!

 

[lacandy]

I don't think I would. There may be a time after the kids are out that I might but by then I'll be too old. LOL My skewed sense of morality won't allow me to, so it's online or nothing for me.

When I started here 12 years ago I had the same mentality…this place will at least keep me from actually physically cheating. SPOLIER ALERT…it did not.

I’m not saying that that’s the case for everyone, but I was one of those people who was very judgey about people who cheated - “just get a divorce”. Then I fell for someone and felt wanted and desired by them and also realized that divorce may not always be the right decision.

Sometimes you just have to pick yourself over everyone else

 

[Pad_Foot]

Wait? E-boning still exists?
Early on here, friendships had benefits
Having some outlet lent sine spice to life
Some common interests way outside my wife’s comfort zone led to some brief encounters. All good!! Guilt is a bitch though
So back to just sharing naughty thoughts or now? Just reading about others naughty thoughts, and hoping to share live again someday

 

[2ServeWoman]

Many of us on lit are here to fulfill an unmet need as our spouses or SO’s have had a dramatic decrease in their libidos or are no longer interested in sex. if e-boning was not an available option to you would you go outside of your marriage to seek satisfaction?

Personally, I find myself wondering if having conversations and playtime on lit is helping me to keep from actually having a physical affair.

What are your thoughts?

Edited to remove masturbation as a “not available option.”

I would be willing to discuss ANYTHING, including

When I started here 12 years ago I had the same mentality…this place will at least keep me from actually physically cheating. SPOLIER ALERT…it did not.

I’m not saying that that’s the case for everyone, but I was one of those people who was very judgey about people who cheated - “just get a divorce”. Then I fell for someone and felt wanted and desired by them and also realized that divorce may not always be the right decision.

Sometimes you just have to pick yourself over everyone else

sometimes a divorce isn’t in the cards or is impractical- so many variables per different situations - one can be judge mental everyone has their reasons!

 

[nock]

This is something I'm coming to terms with... And it's difficult to confront a "reality" you've known for years. The good parts might not be enough.

I would have said the same before we were married -- even in the first few years. But he's so unwilling to address the issue-- to even talk about it. And I refuse to hurt him by continuing to bring it up, so here I am, tired of suppressing my needs. I see a lot of the playing that happens here as interactive porn. That, to me, is definitely not cheating. When it becomes more than that and there are emotions involved, there's some gray area... right now, I've set the boundary at not crossing the actual, physical affair line.

I understand this feeling. That distance helps us make good choices. I hope that if I reach the point where I seriously consider travelling or inviting someone to travel, I'll have the balls to talk to the husband first.

The lack of caring... Like, he's sad if I try to talk about it, because he doesn't want to be a letdown, so I don't talk about it, but he also does nothing to change. So to me, it seems he's choosing to continue being a letdown.

May I ask how it affects/ affected the marriage?

I definitely what you are talking about, hopeful_wife

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Firstly I’m going to keep this short and to the point. Otherwise it can get to War and peace lengths
I’ve not been married and most likely won’t. In my time in bachelorhood. I’ve been in relationships with few married women. Some very intense relationships. I’ve some mixed feelings about them. Would I get in another relationship with a married woman. I don’t know. That would depend on where I am, where she is, the chemistry, lots more.

As far as this made up Lit only term.. e boning. Can y’all stop using it?

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Many of us on lit are here to fulfill an unmet need as our spouses or SO’s have had a dramatic decrease in their libidos or are no longer interested in sex. if e-boning was not an available option to you would you go outside of your marriage to seek satisfaction?

Personally, I find myself wondering if having conversations and playtime on lit is helping me to keep from actually having a physical affair.

What are your thoughts?

Edited to remove masturbation as a “not available option.”

As a swinger , yes no problem. I’d be pursuing a muse with a similar kink that my wife would have full knowledge of. I’m posting before reading the thread’s content so far so not to be jaded or conflicted from the ebb and flow so far. I’m easily influenced! N ‘ distracted

I also sense there’s conflict about are U a cheater ? Or are you not ?

to that I’d say , stick your dick deep into crazytown and find out .


Try just having a good kiss with someone other then your own spouse. Two lips don’t lie. Let that feeling make you decide and lead the way.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

After reading the ebb and flow of reply’s I’d like to add a thought.

Monogamous love has a pollination period like a flower.
.
as the seasons go forth flowers wilt , the plant needs nutrients and energy to bloom again.

ing proactive with energy. Caring with touch , and focus on honesty as the guiding light to a

” ride or die relationship. “ it’s possible !


in a non - monogamous relationship pollinating is a risk worth sharing with a ride or die partner ! It’s exciting , has merit as to taking honesty to the next level . It’s sharing the last bite or first sip of something delicious without self censoring for emotions sake. That partnership , it’s possible too.

 

[AnonyMissWriter]

No, not without the knowledge, approval and prerably participation of my partner. I say that while married with a boyfriend, but my marriage is over, it's just not legally dissolved.

 

[RIPAphrodite]

I’m going to sound like a right slut but catering to frustrated husbands and wives online has made me decent money picking up the slack.

So if you all bring a little love into each other’s lives for free and it makes you happy I think there’s nothing wrong with that in my book. You obviously still love your spouses.

I salute you beautiful people, sending you all a mental hug