i walked into a full scale interventnion this morning!!

[catalina_francisco]

On thing. There could be a problem because you stayed in the office. I completely understand why you did but I can see where that could be an argument. If you were really that upset, why didn't you walk and take your parents with you? Like I said, I understand completely. But I'd bet that would be a question you'd be asked.

Good luck.

That could be handled quite well by someone who knew their stuff about the effects of abuse...not abuse from her partner, but her therapist. There is plenty to call on such as intimidation; the reluctance to leave because of her being her therapist for many years throughout childhood as well as the desire to make her see how mistaken she was; the therapist's abuse of trust and verbal bullying and threats; not to mention the desire to try and limit how much further this information was going to go in terms of family, career, and public reputation...all valid reasons a person would remain in the office.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

No boss? Then, she won't want this to go public any more than you do. She has her reputation to protect.

But she does have a boss in the industry she represents. There is a board of ethics that she and all therapists must answer to. She has breached the professional code of ethics and that will not be taken lightly by her peers. The healthcare field frowns on this kind of publicity and she can be censured.

What he said....and she could have her credentials removed so she could no longer practice if the professional body she is licenced or covered by thinks it is warranted. You never know, there may have been other complaints before and she could already be under threat of being losing her right to practice if another incident comes to light, you are most likely not the only one....it wouldn't be the first time and unfortunately, most people feel so intimidated and invalidated by such an occurrance they never gain the courage to make a complaint, informal or formal, thus these people get to carry on abusing others.

One other therapist I came across while working in the field of abuse bragged to me about one of her clients who had huge failure issues. The girl attempted suicide but was rushed to hospital and saved...this therapist was proud of herself because she said she went to see her in hospital and said to her, ' shit you're right, you really are a failure...you even failed at killing yourself'. I was disgusted and unfortunately the client didn't have enough confidence to make a complaint....these therapists should not be able to inflict their lack of knowledge/empathy on others.

Catalina

 

[myinnerslut]

thanks evrybody for all of your responses. while it did make me feel better to talk about the fact that what hapened was wrong (i still havnt slept through the night since this happened, and that is starting to take its toll on me) i dont think it will go much futher then me not going back. my parents dont want to maketoo much of a big deal out of this becuase of the years of history we had, and honestly, i just dont want to face her again.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[DVS]

thanks evrybody for all of your responses. while it did make me feel better to talk about the fact that what hapened was wrong (i still havnt slept through the night since this happened, and that is starting to take its toll on me) i dont think it will go much futher then me not going back. my parents dont want to maketoo much of a big deal out of this becuase of the years of history we had, and honestly, i just dont want to face her again.

Just go talk to a lawyer, or doctor and tell them about her and they will do the rest. The lawyer will be glad to take over and do as you wish and the doctor will more than likely feel obligated to you, because of how you were treated.

I don't want to cause you any undo trauma, but you are in the right here. And, your parents sound like mine. What's done is done and we're glad it's over. I understand that mindset, but, not doing anything about it will allow her to continue in this same way, and maybe someone else will be treated just like you were.

She'll never admit to doing anything wrong until she's brought to face what she's done to you. You can't sleep at night. That's her fault! The way you feel now is all because of her and her Gestapo methods of therapy.

You owe it to those people to at least write a letter to the board of ethics or let a lawyer do it for you. Like CM said, you never ever have to deal with her again. If she wants to talk to you, anything she wants to say to you will be filtered through your lawyer.

Trust me...a lawyer would love to get his teeth into her and would thank you for the privilege.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

The-rapist

Then she has to be board certified with a licenses which can be surrendered when she is reported to the board.

That's all.

no actually... she is in her own practice, no boss

 

[trojan_man_co]

My sister in law is a licensed practicing therapist and I’m almost there myself. What everyone has been telling you is absolutely correct. The best thing to do is to go to a lawyer, even if it is only to remove her license. I understand you don’t want this getting out and as every one has said there are many ways around that as well. but if i were in your situation i would feel obligated to insure that this couldn’t happen again. Unless you gave direct consent or unless she specifically thought your life or someone else life was in danger, she had no right to break confidentiality. Think of it in terms of a doctor performing surgery on someone while never going to medical school. In the psychiatric field this is just as bad. Also find out if you can if she is licensed. Here in Colorado you don’t need to be licensed to say you are a therapist and open your own private practice, in which case it limits your options for continuing this. Regardless. I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY encourage you to pursue this in the most serious manner possible. for more information on it all go to http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/ and its HIPAA not HIPPA...



edited to add *HUG* im sorry you had to go through this i know it must be difficult and if you want to talk about any of it feel free to message me...

 

[Betticus]

mis...i am SO sorry you are going through this. No matter what, it was a blatant violation of trust.

Two small things no one has brought up yet.

If the Dr's that she told about your situation were HER superiors in the practice, and she is required to report on her cases to them, you cannot sue her for violating Dr/patient confidentiality...at least in the case of talking about you to the other Dr's.

Doctors do consult with each other especially in an area where they are not very knowledgeable. This whole dragging your family in and "outing" you with the things you shared in private is total bullshit. Trying to convince you that you are brainwashed is pure crap too.

Seriously, where did this chick get her PHD? They cover stuff like this in even basic psych courses.

Also, great big hugs to you girl.

This is the kind of thing that could make you not seek medical treatment when you really need it. Try not to let this experience make you hide.

This really makes me wonder though, should you bring your dom with you to therapy? Writing a letter may help you but it may not do anything for this therapist, she may just take it as further proof that you are brainwashed.

I seriously see a need in the world for Dom/me therapists who have real experience with bdsm.

 

[EmpressFi]

I just now found this thread, and I'm horrified by the way you were treated, MIS.

I understand why your parents would want to just keep it with never seeing her again, but even if it's just a letter to the state licensing board, someone... someone needs to know what this .. I dont even have a word foul enough for her.... but someone needs to know what happened. If she violated your trust, I'm sure she's either done it to others, or will do in the future.

 

[HB1965]

I just found it as well. I have to say I'm so sorry. A lot of the people in my profession don't get this. I think it would be hard to find one that did to be honest. I think she did what she did out of ignorance if that helps. I'm just sorry that your parents were dragged into it, and that you had to be embarrased and humiliated in such a way. Having what seems to me to be beautiful and loving relationship between you and your man called abusive is humiliating.

 

[littleone77]

I am so sorry Mis. That is anyone's worse nightmare. I cannot imagine that feeling of violation and knowing that others know of it. Please try to take things one day at a time until you wake up and it is almost a forgotten memory.

Once my mother found somethings that "bothered" hershortly after I left for college. I was 20 at the time. She called the school's shrink and tried to force me into therapy. I thankfully got out of that but I had to share with her some rather personal, intimate details of my life which I'd rather she never knew. I did it so I wouldn't have to experience what you have.

So if it helps, there is a super thin folder about me at my college's guidance office concerning my interest in bdsm.

 

[myinnerslut]

since the thread got bummped up, i guess ill give an update.

i've calmed down about it becuase some time has passed.

my parents and i agree never to set foot in that office of do buisness with her again.

no legal action is being taken.

 

[Penalt]

I would consider at least a formal complaint to whatever group oversee's that profession in your area. What was done may or may not have been actionable but it certainly was unethical and unprofessional.

 

[rachy91]

A Dom once told me, never tell a "vanilla" family, friends even therapist in this case, what you are, because they do not understand,

Its sad that we cannot be honest with our family and friends or even a doctor who is supposed to keep our secrets and such, but it is the sad truth

 

[graceanne]

since the thread got bummped up, i guess ill give an update.

i've calmed down about it becuase some time has passed.

my parents and i agree never to set foot in that office of do buisness with her again.

no legal action is being taken.

Well, obvioulsy I'd like to see her strung up, but that's just me. You need to do what's best for you, and if at this point it's best for you to just leave the whole thing behind you, then I say more power to you. *hugs*

 

[Betticus]

I wonder if this therapist even realizes what she did and how badly she fucked up.

 

[graceanne]

I wonder if this therapist even realizes what she did and how badly she fucked up.

Probably not. She probably tells herself that she was helping MIS.

 

[Mamid]

I don't fucking go to fucking councelling any fucking more because my trust has been violated not once, but four times as an adult.

time no 1: the councellor called up my mother and arranged a meeting between the two of us without asking me permission. Yes, I was 18 at the time. She told my mother everything I said and even misrepresented some things. I found out about this and never EVER saw her again. Mother threw a fit that I wasn't at the "meeting." I'm pretty sure she wanted to kidnap me back to Canada. (My dad is american, and i was in the states at the time)

time no 2: councellor talked about me to one of her coworkers. coworker described one of her friends as having the same symptoms as me and the friend's diagnosis. my councellor therefore came to the irroneous conclusion that if I had the coworker's friend's symptoms, I thereforefor must have the same mental ilness. I have the paper that proves she did this too! I was supposed to evaluate her afterwards but never could. I was diagnosed by association and a court ordered psychiatric evaluation years later disproved the diagnosis.

time no 3: I was engaged in councelling and my councellor was called up to court to testify against me. I was furious. Client priviledge? My ass! she talked about stuff I told her in confidence. Since then, I refuse to go to a councellor.

time no 4: my financial worker (i'm on disability, not welfare) got a letter from the "back to work" training program for women I was in and they were "really concerned" about me. See, the three of them had sat me down and wanted to discuss my "attitude" about the class and how saying the word "molesting" was a trigger for the other women. WTF was I going to use to describe what a boss did to me years ago? Then they accused me of paranoia when it comes to CPS and the social work ministries. It isn't paranoia when they have proven that you are on their "target" list - its in my file. I was so furious I was mute with anger. I only get like that when I am going to scream and punch walls and don't want to, so instead I leave. I left the program in a huge walk out and didn't say a word. I grabbed all my stuff and walked out the door while they were trying to stop me. One of them grabbed at my stuff causing the stuff to go flying and I had to pick it all up, which stalled my departure. I immediately called my worker and told him what happened and he said he'd look into it. I got calls and calls and calls from them asking me to come back. I refused to take the calls and had Penalt call them to tell them I wasn't coming back because I would have screamed if I had. They had violated any trust I ever had with them. They did not have permission to talk to him, they did not have permission to call me at home - I made that part of the intake process - and I sure as hell didn't want anything more to do with them.

you know... i should write that complaint letter...

anyway, i understand your violation of trust, probably more so than others here. It is a type of rape, and what really gets me is the uneducated who keep on telling others to go to councelling because it "really helps." Not always and everyone I've ever been to instead of "helping" actually hurt.

 

[graceanne]

I haven't had any councelor betray my trust, I just found them freaken useless.

 

[rooky2]

Intervention this morning...right or wrong?

Have read some responses for "myinnerslut", and find not surprised to read that most of them said and what you wanted to read and listen. Just for a moment step out…out of what you wanted to listen and what this forum is all about...and you will be able to appreciate what you were told and why she stepped out of her professional domain to include your parents into it, even though she did it after formally informing you. She had no personal interest to harm you neither your parents. Think why they are against of what you have chosen for yourself? Sure you are not brain washed, but you do have relatively less experience to decide what is good for you and what is not. Go to any teen ager and they will opt for alcohol or coke/pepsi over milk or fresh juice, reason is the immediate taste or disregarding the real value of your health.

I am not here to suggest you not to opt for what you want to be "his/her puppy" or his/her Mistress. ; sure you have every right to be what you want to be. But take this decision as your own without discrediting the intentions and good faith of others who do not want you to go for it. Its just like my parents wanted me to me a doctor, I respect that but became an environmental economist travelled around the world and contributed at different forums and countries; now they are equally happy. I have profound respect for my well wishers, I may not have become what they wanted me to be, but it does not mean that I disregard them or their wishes for me...I was just not suitable for what they wanted me to be and be something with which they are also proud now.

Sure you are at the right forum to get the answers you wanted to listen and feel happy with. But if you want to dig some justice for yourself have opinons from different sections of society or consult different forums, be rational and then decide for yourself what is really right or wrong for you. Take your decision with responsibility and be satisfied. Believe me, before the age of 25 not many know what they really know or want for themself, their decision are "made for them" by the media they are exposed to, compnay they spend most of the time or the environment they live in. I would have not written this if you were more then 25 years of age. Hope you decide eventually for what is best for you and not what you think is best for you! Best of luck n wishes!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Have read some responses for "myinnerslut", and find not surprised to read that most of them said and what you wanted to read and listen. Just for a moment step out…out of what you wanted to listen and what this forum is all about...and you will be able to appreciate what you were told and why she stepped out of her professional domain to include your parents into it, even though she did it after formally informing you. She had no personal interest to harm you neither your parents. Think why they are against of what you have chosen for yourself? Sure you are not brain washed, but you do have relatively less experience to decide what is good for you and what is not. Go to any teen ager and they will opt for alcohol or coke/pepsi over milk or fresh juice, reason is the immediate taste or disregarding the real value of your health.

I am not here to suggest you not to opt for what you want to be "his/her puppy" or his/her Mistress. ; sure you have every right to be what you want to be. But take this decision as your own without discrediting the intentions and good faith of others who do not want you to go for it. Its just like my parents wanted me to me a doctor, I respect that but became an environmental economist travelled around the world and contributed at different forums and countries; now they are equally happy. I have profound respect for my well wishers, I may not have become what they wanted me to be, but it does not mean that I disregard them or their wishes for me...I was just not suitable for what they wanted me to be and be something with which they are also proud now.

Sure you are at the right forum to get the answers you wanted to listen and feel happy with. But if you want to dig some justice for yourself have opinons from different sections of society or consult different forums, be rational and then decide for yourself what is really right or wrong for you. Take your decision with responsibility and be satisfied. Believe me, before the age of 25 not many know what they really know or want for themself, their decision are "made for them" by the media they are exposed to, compnay they spend most of the time or the environment they live in. I would have not written this if you were more then 25 years of age. Hope you decide eventually for what is best for you and not what you think is best for you! Best of luck n wishes!

WTF? Could you sit down and rewrite this in English?

If your native tongue is not English, I apologize and withdraw the request, but if it is your first language, you either post without any thought of reviewing your words for coherence or even sense before submitting, or you simply apparently are not capable of writing coherently/sensibly.

Specific examples:
"find not surprised to read that most of them said and what you wanted to read and listen."

The entire final paragraph, particularly the penultimate sentence:
"Hope you decide eventually for what is best for you and not what you think is best for you!"

How in the name of all that exists does this sentence make any sense?

If she "decide eventually for what is best for [her]," thus making it her decision, how could or would she decide for anything other than "what [she] think is best for [her]?"

 

[Essene]

Have read some responses for "myinnerslut", and find not surprised to read that most of them said and what you wanted to read and listen. Just for a moment step out…out of what you wanted to listen and what this forum is all about...and you will be able to appreciate what you were told and why she stepped out of her professional domain to include your parents into it, even though she did it after formally informing you. She had no personal interest to harm you neither your parents. Think why they are against of what you have chosen for yourself? Sure you are not brain washed, but you do have relatively less experience to decide what is good for you and what is not. Go to any teen ager and they will opt for alcohol or coke/pepsi over milk or fresh juice, reason is the immediate taste or disregarding the real value of your health.

I am not here to suggest you not to opt for what you want to be "his/her puppy" or his/her Mistress. ; sure you have every right to be what you want to be. But take this decision as your own without discrediting the intentions and good faith of others who do not want you to go for it. Its just like my parents wanted me to me a doctor, I respect that but became an environmental economist travelled around the world and contributed at different forums and countries; now they are equally happy. I have profound respect for my well wishers, I may not have become what they wanted me to be, but it does not mean that I disregard them or their wishes for me...I was just not suitable for what they wanted me to be and be something with which they are also proud now.

Sure you are at the right forum to get the answers you wanted to listen and feel happy with. But if you want to dig some justice for yourself have opinons from different sections of society or consult different forums, be rational and then decide for yourself what is really right or wrong for you. Take your decision with responsibility and be satisfied. Believe me, before the age of 25 not many know what they really know or want for themself, their decision are "made for them" by the media they are exposed to, compnay they spend most of the time or the environment they live in. I would have not written this if you were more then 25 years of age. Hope you decide eventually for what is best for you and not what you think is best for you! Best of luck n wishes!

MIS came here for support and caring. Her therapist was out of line, and I'm really irritated that the only reason why you think MIS should put up with that crap was because she is younger than 25.

Just because you're a licensed therapist does not make you the end all and be all. This lady was out of line. There are laws that she broke, HIPAA being one.

MIS deserves every bit of love and caring, and sympathizing that she got.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Rooky,

Rather than addressing every offensive bits in your post, I'll only ask you a couple questions:

Why the fuck do you think you are entitled to come over here, dig out something that was obviously a painful experience for MIS, and suggest that she's two young to know better?

Why do you assume that *you* are in a better position than *she* is to make a judgement on her life, choices, and feelings about other people intruding in her personal life?

 

[Millificent]

Rooky,

Rather than addressing every offensive bits in your post, I'll only ask you a couple questions:

Why the fuck do you think you are entitled to come over here, dig out something that was obviously a painful experience for MIS, and suggest that she's two young to know better?

Why do you assume that *you* are in a better position than *she* is to make a judgement on her life, choices, and feelings about other people intruding in her personal life?

Thank you DB. You said this way better than I could. I get tongue tied when I get pissed off.

 

[Essene]

Thank you DB. You said this way better than I could. I get tongue tied when I get pissed off.

*nod*

She's good like that. Concise and to the point.