I had sex with my best friend HELP!

[MistressSin]

Ok so I had sex with my best friend. She's not a lesbien, bi sexual or even curious. I am in love with her I have been for a while and I don't want to fuck shit up. She fears confrontation but I need to talk about this with her. I don't know what to say or if I should say anything at all...

 

[wolfie69]

one mans opinion....... honesty is the best policy. If you don't talk about it the tension could very well screw it up too!

 

[Patryn]

Excuse me, what? She has to be at very least bi-curious to have sex with you in the first place. With that knowledge, go from there.

 

[MistressSin]

Excuse me, what? She has to be at very least bi-curious to have sex with you in the first place. With that knowledge, go from there.

Well no not really. She has had a past experience but no actuall sex, and she knew from that
that she prefers men

 

[Siren]

Well Mistress Sin......

 

[KillerMuffin]

Been there done that from her shoes. I consider myself on very mildly bi-curious. More like, bi-it could happen, but I'm not putting any effort into it. My friend is a lesbian and claimed to love me at the time. I made a grave mistake by allowing the sex side to happen, and it really wasn't even sex, more like a fondling kinda deal.

Anyway. The only sort of relationship I wanted with her was strictly friends. Nothing sexual ever again and nothing deeper. I knew for a fact that I required a male for a mate. Period. There is no other alternative for me. It seems thats the same for her. She may have been mildly curious, or it was just the right place and time and she felt safe with you.

I would suggest that you do talk about this with her, but make sure she has her space. She probably doesn't want to lose you as a friend either, but she doesn't want to hurt you or have you hang onto her like a boyfriend might. I would suggest a neutral non sexual territory for the exchange and that you don't touch her. Like a quiet spot in the park rather than near a bed or couch. Let her touch you, if she's inclined, but don't make physical overtures. Both of you have to accept and deal with what happened. After some time has gone by, and things seem to be more normal, you can go back to being the way you had been, no doubt.

I'm guessing you would rather perserve your friendship, rather than try to persue her as a lover. With that in mind, go slowly, take your time you have plenty of it, and let her feel comfortable with you again. Don't talk about the sex itself until she brings it up, if ever. The two of you need to define the parameters of the relationship, whats acceptable and whats not, because now, everything has changed.

My friend verbally agreed to give me space, to let me adjust to something that had happened that was foreign to me. But she didn't do it. She touched me before I was ready, asked for hugs, and wanted to talk about her sexuality. It made me too uncomfortable and the friendship broke up.