I am wearing a collar today... problem?

[Ms_Lilith]

So I have this question.

I've owned this black velvet choker for years, and I finally pulled it out of my jewelry box to wear.

Yes, it makes me feel submissive, yes, it makes me feel beautiful and cherished... lol, but it's my own. I bought it years ago, and have never worn it for a Dom/me.

If I wear it in public, will it seem to people like I am collared? Not that I care much, I'm wearing it either way, but Im curious.

Dom/mes, if you saw a woman wearing a choker (mine is an inch-wide piece of black velvet, with clasps in the back), would you assume that she was a sub, and that she was owned?

Pure curiosity.

 

[FungiUg]

The only problem I have with that is a lack of someone to wear my collar. Sometimes patience is hard...

When I have seen women wearing chokers in the past (aside from thinking they look damned sexy), I often stop to wonder whether she may be submissive. Of course, I don't assume she is, but the thought is there.

Personally I think that would be added reason for you to wear your choker. Not only does it make you feel submissive, but you know that some people out there are going to wonder if you are submissive because of it.

 

[Shadowsdream]

So I have this question.

I've owned this black velvet choker for years, and I finally pulled it out of my jewelry box to wear.

Yes, it makes me feel submissive, yes, it makes me feel beautiful and cherished... lol, but it's my own. I bought it years ago, and have never worn it for a Dom/me.

If I wear it in public, will it seem to people like I am collared? Not that I care much, I'm wearing it either way, but Im curious.

Dom/mes, if you saw a woman wearing a choker (mine is an inch-wide piece of black velvet, with clasps in the back), would you assume that she was a sub, and that she was owned?

Pure curiosity.

Hello vixen

If I saw a woman wearing a collar out I would not think she was owned at all...but I would be curious if she was in the lifestyle in some way. It would be a pleasant curiousity and I might feel a certain kinship with her because it would be possible she was wearing that collar in hopes of being identified by those in the know.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Re: Re: I am wearing a collar today... problem?

Hello vixen

If I saw a woman wearing a collar out I would not think she was owned at all...but I would be curious if she was in the lifestyle in some way. It would be a pleasant curiousity and I might feel a certain kinship with her because it would be possible she was wearing that collar in hopes of being identified by those in the know.

Thank you, Shadowsdream and thank you FungiUg...

I was hoping it would look somewhat lifestylish... I love being a sub, and sometimes I want to advertise it... maybe this way is covert enough to not rattle too many people..

 

[WynEternal]

So I have this question.

I've owned this black velvet choker for years, and I finally pulled it out of my jewelry box to wear.

Yes, it makes me feel submissive, yes, it makes me feel beautiful and cherished... lol, but it's my own. I bought it years ago, and have never worn it for a Dom/me.

If I wear it in public, will it seem to people like I am collared? Not that I care much, I'm wearing it either way, but Im curious.

Dom/mes, if you saw a woman wearing a choker (mine is an inch-wide piece of black velvet, with clasps in the back), would you assume that she was a sub, and that she was owned?

Pure curiosity.

Hanging out in the goth scene and the punk scene, these were common things for girls to wear. I never thought of them as submissives or anything. It was just a fashion statement.

The collar Mistress gave me was actually meant to be worn in public without raising any eyebrows. It was jet black beads and very nicely done.

 

[Guest]

 

[lady-kat]

So I have this question.

I've owned this black velvet choker for years, and I finally pulled it out of my jewelry box to wear.

Yes, it makes me feel submissive, yes, it makes me feel beautiful and cherished... lol, but it's my own. I bought it years ago, and have never worn it for a Dom/me.

If I wear it in public, will it seem to people like I am collared? Not that I care much, I'm wearing it either way, but Im curious.

Dom/mes, if you saw a woman wearing a choker (mine is an inch-wide piece of black velvet, with clasps in the back), would you assume that she was a sub, and that she was owned?

Pure curiosity.

interesting question. i will be following this thread with a great deal of interest to see the differnt perspectives. years ago, before i had ever heard the word "lifestyle" i used to wear a similar item of jewlery in public. mine was metal with a stone of tiger's eye set in it.

i had forgotten what it did with my head to wear that particular piece of jewelry.

your question made me remember. i also remember it made me feel particularyly uneasy at times. and yet right also. i was very young. lol.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Re: Re: I am wearing a collar today... problem?

interesting question. i will be following this thread with a great deal of interest to see the differnt perspectives. years ago, before i had ever heard the word "lifestyle" i used to wear a similar item of jewlery in public. mine was metal with a stone of tiger's eye set in it.

i had forgotten what it did with my head to wear that particular piece of jewelry.

your question made me remember. i also remember it made me feel particularyly uneasy at times. and yet right also. i was very young. lol.

I'm glad I asked a question relevant to someone... I used to wear this collar when I was younger, but never had heard of the lifestyle... I loved it. Now that I KNOW of the lifestyle, it feels so much sexier around my neck...

*sigh*

I WANT people to eye me like they know... *grin*

 

[HzDomme]

In the 70's it was quite common for young women to wear what we called chokers. It was just the fashion of the time.
I see my daughters wearing the same now and they have no clue what it could mean to those in the lifestyle.

I remember in the early 90's commenting on a ring/bracelet combination that a friend wore. Now I know it was a slave bracelet. She called it that but I never caught on to it's meaning.
Sometimes we can't see what is right in front of our face, I guess.

 

[bunny bondage]

i think a discreet collar like that would be a good indication to someone who knew about the lifestyle that you might also be involved. however, to those whose idea of kinky is doing it with the lights on, you will go unnoticed. so i say it's a damn good way to single yourself out to those who are "in the know"

 

[lark sparrow]

I usually go the other way and assume it is a fashion statement, particularly if it is on a younger person, but I do notice them. Unless I am someplace like this: .Folsom Street Fair

One that did make me wonder a few months ago was a tattooed "collar" or band all the way around a young man's neck. That would be a commitment! But it could have just been something different along the line of the tribal arm band tattoo that is somewhat popular. I know a man who didn't like to wear rings - found them uncomfortable, so when he got married, he follwed this same route and had his wedding "ring" tattooed on his ring finger.

I too, did the punk thing when younger so leather and collars and yes cock rings (as my wrists were too small for the average studded wrist band) were standard fare.

 

[Chicklet]

BTW...I wear a cock ring as a braclet and to this date no one has ever said a word.

<laughing>

 

[Chicklet]

If I wear it in public, will it seem to people like I am collared? Not that I care much, I'm wearing it either way, but Im curious.

well, at least where I'm from, black chokers that resemble collars are not uncommon at all. Also a *lot* of people my age wear collars that I think of as kinky, leather with D-rings and other such things. They've been doing it since I was in middle school.

Personally, all I think when I see a girl or a guy with such a collar is that it looks damned sexy, but I don't know about the rest of the world.

Chicklet

 

[Phoenyx]

I would not think she was owned. I would think it was elegant fashion statememt.

 

[Pebbles2play]

If I see a woman with a choker/collar on I dont automatically associate that person with the lifestyle however If the collar looked the lifestyle i'd probable wheesle my way in for a question about it. I find it interesting to meet women like myself.

~smile~

~ ~

 

[James G 5]

So I have this question.

Yeah
I have a problem
You're wearing it as a fashion statement and not so I can clip a leash on it

Me not having the leash on it is the other problem

Of course, if I were there and had said leash attached, you'd not be wearing anything ELSE........

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Re: Re: I am wearing a collar today... problem?

Yeah
I have a problem
You're wearing it as a fashion statement

So not true. I wear it because it makes me feel submissive, it makes me feel sexy... it makes me feel like I have this sexy secret that only a priveliged few would pick up on.

 

[yuppietowngirl]

So I have this question.

I've owned this black velvet choker for years, and I finally pulled it out of my jewelry box to wear.

Yes, it makes me feel submissive, yes, it makes me feel beautiful and cherished... lol, but it's my own. I bought it years ago, and have never worn it for a Dom/me.

If I wear it in public, will it seem to people like I am collared? Not that I care much, I'm wearing it either way, but Im curious.

Dom/mes, if you saw a woman wearing a choker (mine is an inch-wide piece of black velvet, with clasps in the back), would you assume that she was a sub, and that she was owned?

Pure curiosity.

Personally I would just see a beautiful piece of jewelry if I was 'nilla. *s* But being sub also...I might wonder if you were one also. Just because I am a curious Gem(ini) sub *s*

 

[yuppietowngirl]

I remember in the early 90's commenting on a ring/bracelet combination that a friend wore. Now I know it was a slave bracelet.

I remember those ring/bracelets...I never knew what they were called. That is interesting...*s*

 

[Shadowsdream]

I remember those ring/bracelets...I never knew what they were called. That is interesting...*s*

It is a bracelet that I prefer to wear...as turning it feels powerful when made of a heavy material and turning the ring can be a great little cock tormenter...so slave bracelet yes..a bracelet for controlling My slave!

 

[ennui01]

For those "in the know"

As regards the black chokers, I don't automatically think that the person (woman, I don't notice men) wearing them are in the lifestyle. I do notice them though, they catch my eye right away, as much as that is possible.

One of my lady friends, my best friend for a number of years, has several of these, in black beads, or blands bands of very slim chain, and of course the black velvet type too. Extremely sexy!

Anyway, for those of you who might like to get a piece of jewelry that is innocuous enough that the ord's won't notice anything unusual, but that anyone in the lifestyle would (hopefully) pick up on, check out this site:

http://members.aol.com/quagmyr/jewelry1.htm

This guy sells jewelry with the Safe, Sane, Consensual logo on it. I've got some, it looks great, and is quality stuff for good prices.

 

[MissTaken]

I have a necklace that is rather tight around my neck. It has a black onyx oval in a gold ring. It is a necklace I wear when scening and thus, when I want to feel submissive when doing my normal, everyday stuff, I wear this necklace. When people comment on it, I find it amusing to think that necklace has been witness to some rather extraordinary things!

It is nice to wear something special that reminds you of your secret. Sometimes a piece of lingerie. I have girdles that I was asked to wear in lieu of a chastity belt. So, they definitely are something that keeps my mind on submission.

The girdles were an inexpensive alternative to chastity belts or corsets, but still achieved the same physical effect. (I bought them a size too small )

Thank you for the link to the jewelry. I would be interested in a piece to wear that is subtle, but would give those who might be interested in my secret to be in the know

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Thank you all..

One of my co-workers last night.. (the one I have a crush on)... he noticed it.. and he said "nice collar".... and he sort of waited. And then he said "you didn't correct me".

I was like grinning, because I had purposely not corrected him, to say it was a choker.

I grinned and he said.. "most women would say it's a choker"

And I said "but I'm not most women".

And he said... "well, by the looks of you in that COLLAR, I would say not.... nice to know that about you".

*GRIN*

 

[MissTaken]

How did that make you feel, vixie?

I mean, in that situation, I can imagine getting butterflies in my tummy.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

How did that make you feel, vixie?

I mean, in that situation, I can imagine getting butterflies in my tummy.

it made me feel desired.. it made me want to submit right away, because he had such command in his voice... it's like he became larger than life, when he knew what it was, and said he liked it...

incredible.