Having BDSM/Sex toys while living with parents.

[OddLove]

I don't know if anyone else has had this nerve wracking experience, but I moved back to my parents place a couple years ago cause I needed a support system to help me deal with my bipolar disorder which got a lot worse around age 27-28ish. When I did, I threw away my collar, leash, cuffs, and dildo out of fear of family members finding them. I've always had so much anxiety around friends and family finding out the kind of stuff I'm into. They probably wouldn't care, but I'm just such a private person it would be horrifying if they found out.

Now a couple years later I've finally gone on Amazon and got a collar, leash, and dildo. I selected the shipping option that takes longer but put's all the items into one box (hopefully), and I got new pants also so hopefully getting four items is enough to convince the workers at Amazon to make sure they're all put into a single discreet box.

Has anyone here ever had such bad anxiety about this kind of stuff?

And did any of you find a way to reduce the anxiety you were feeling?

I might just cancel the order cause it would be so embarrassing if the collar or leash was delivered in a way where everyone here could see what it is. None of us have dogs, so it would be painfully obvious that I'm a fuckin weirdo. And I'm the kind of guy who doesn't publicly disclose my sexuality to anyone who's not my partner, so if the dildo was seen, I would have a full blown panic attack.

I wish I would've just waited till I got my own place again. But I love BDSM and masturbating, and I feel like it's a huge part of my private life that makes me really happy.

Sorry for ranting, I should probably be talking to a therapist about this. Not a bunch of kinky people who are probably way braver then me when it comes to this.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

I don't have the living with parents problem, but I can relate. I separated from my husband last year but had no where to go so had to stay with him until I got my own place. It took 8 months. In that time, I found my sub self again, and ordered toys and play things to explore this side of me more. I even met my Master while I was still living there and had my day collar delivered there.
I got through the anxiety by thinking about the pleasure and joy.
Now I have my own place, I can have whatever I want delivered to me. But I also have a 10 yr old daughter who lives with me 50% of the time and a 19 yr old son who visits. I dread the idea of them going snooping.

"Mum, what are these spiky things in your sewing area?"
"Oh darling that's just a pair of tack bra inserts I'm making."
Hopefully she's 18 before she finds anything, because I've gone a bit batty toy wise in the last few months

 

[subdudeme13]

I don't have the living with parents problem, but I can relate. I separated from my husband last year but had no where to go so had to stay with him until I got my own place. It took 8 months. In that time, I found my sub self again, and ordered toys and play things to explore this side of me more. I even met my Master while I was still living there and had my day collar delivered there.
I got through the anxiety by thinking about the pleasure and joy.
Now I have my own place, I can have whatever I want delivered to me. But I also have a 10 yr old daughter who lives with me 50% of the time and a 19 yr old son who visits. I dread the idea of them going snooping.

"Mum, what are these spiky things in your sewing area?"
"Oh darling that's just a pair of tack bra inserts I'm making."
Hopefully she's 18 before she finds anything, because I've gone a bit batty you wise in the last few months

A Domme friend of mine had her children discover her toy bag. I also had a friend who's children discovered her husband's dildos and they were amazed how big they were.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

A Domme friend of mine had her children discover her toy bag. I also had a friend who's children discovered her husband's dildos and they were amazed how big they were.

I'm in the process of designing a lockable bag for my toys, hopefully it will keep the kids out. They do not need to know how depraved their mother is

 

[CuriousRick]

I'm in the process of designing a lockable bag for my toys, hopefully it will keep the kids out. They do not need to know how depraved their mother is

Just get a brief case

 

[subdudeme13]

Just get a brief case

Maybe that would not be big enough!

 

[twister947]

I don't know if anyone else has had this nerve wracking experience, but I moved back to my parents place a couple years ago cause I needed a support system to help me deal with my bipolar disorder which got a lot worse around age 27-28ish. When I did, I threw away my collar, leash, cuffs, and dildo out of fear of family members finding them. I've always had so much anxiety around friends and family finding out the kind of stuff I'm into. They probably wouldn't care, but I'm just such a private person it would be horrifying if they found out.

Now a couple years later I've finally gone on Amazon and got a collar, leash, and dildo. I selected the shipping option that takes longer but put's all the items into one box (hopefully), and I got new pants also so hopefully getting four items is enough to convince the workers at Amazon to make sure they're all put into a single discreet box.

Has anyone here ever had such bad anxiety about this kind of stuff?

And did any of you find a way to reduce the anxiety you were feeling?

I might just cancel the order cause it would be so embarrassing if the collar or leash was delivered in a way where everyone here could see what it is. None of us have dogs, so it would be painfully obvious that I'm a fuckin weirdo. And I'm the kind of guy who doesn't publicly disclose my sexuality to anyone who's not my partner, so if the dildo was seen, I would have a full blown panic attack.

I wish I would've just waited till I got my own place again. But I love BDSM and masturbating, and I feel like it's a huge part of my private life that makes me really happy.

Sorry for ranting, I should probably be talking to a therapist about this. Not a bunch of kinky people who are probably way braver then me when it comes to this.

We all deal with this in some way or another. For some it's parents, for others, it's the kids, or the baby sitter, and so on. Keeping our private lives private is challenging. I was going in for surgery a few years back, and talked myself into the notion I might not survive. I bagged up a lifetime's accumulation of toys, whips, restraints, etc, as well as a large collection of books of erotica, and drove to a neighboring town to dispose of it in a dumpster.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Just get a brief case

Maybe that would not be big enough!

Yeah, Dude is right. Not long enough, and the capacity is certainly not enough.

 

[OddLove]

We all deal with this in some way or another. For some it's parents, for others, it's the kids, or the baby sitter, and so on. Keeping our private lives private is challenging. I was going in for surgery a few years back, and talked myself into the notion I might not survive. I bagged up a lifetime's accumulation of toys, whips, restraints, etc, as well as a large collection of books of erotica, and drove to a neighboring town to dispose of it in a dumpster.

That's really sad you lost your stuff, but I'm glad you're still with us. It really sucks tossing those kinds of things away cause at least for me and I assume for you, it's a large piece of who we are. I just hope you get to enjoy a some of those kinds of things again.

I haven't canceled my order yet but I have a few days to decide. So maybe I'll just get them and keep it minimal until I have my own place. It's kind of comforting and nice to hear other people have dealt with these sorts worries.

 

[KatieDoes]

That's really sad you lost your stuff, but I'm glad you're still with us. It really sucks tossing those kinds of things away cause at least for me and I assume for you, it's a large piece of who we are. I just hope you get to enjoy a some of those kinds of things again.

I haven't canceled my order yet but I have a few days to decide. So maybe I'll just get them and keep it minimal until I have my own place. It's kind of comforting and nice to hear other people have dealt with these sorts worries.

Can you get your things delivered to an Amazon locker instead of straight to your home? That might eliminate a lot of the nerves.

 

[CuriousRick]

Yeah, Dude is right. Not long enough, and the capacity is certainly not enough.

Maybe check into a gun case!

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Maybe check into a gun case!

I already make bags, so it won't be too hard. An overnight bag, around 75cm (2.5 feet long). Internal pockets separating toy types. I haven't decided if the padlock will attach 2 zipper pulls together, or a d ring at the closed end of the zip where I can padlock the zipper pull to the bag.
It will be wonderful.

 

[Dreamliner]

Just get a brief case

You can get briefcases in all sorts of sizes, alternatively a carryon hard shell case (TSA approved with locks). Purchase some foam, line the case and draw an outline of each toy, and cutout sufficient foam for a snug fit.

 

[OddLove]

Can you get your things delivered to an Amazon locker instead of straight to your home? That might eliminate a lot of the nerves.

I didn't know that was a thing. But I'm definitely going to look into it. I think it would be very helpful. Thank you.

 

[sullivag2]

I didn't know that was a thing. But I'm definitely going to look into it. I think it would be very helpful. Thank

Something else you can do is mark the order as "Contains a Gift". They tend to be a little more discreet that way as well. I know I had some stuff delivered and didn't mark it that way and when I saw the package it had the logo of the company it was from on it.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

If anyone opens the box by accident, just tell them it's for a fancy dress party. Or for a friend who's too embarrassed to have it sent to their own house.

 

[Wonderer67]

Has anyone here ever had such bad anxiety about this kind of stuff?

And did any of you find a way to reduce the anxiety you were feeling?

I understand the issue. Back in the day, getting a package from Amazon could be a little daunting with my kids eager to open stuff up.

Now we are empty nesters so we (pretty much) let our sexual freak flags fly.

Do you think your parents would honor that something is addressed to you? (I’m always daunted by the old urban myth that opening mail or a package for someone else is a federal offense )

I know that anxiety often causes people to go to worst-case scenarios, but if you step back, do you think they would honor your privacy with respect to packages arriving?

 

[OddLove]

I understand the issue. Back in the day, getting a package from Amazon could be a little daunting with my kids eager to open stuff up.

Now we are empty nesters so we (pretty much) let our sexual freak flags fly.

Do you think your parents would honor that something is addressed to you? (I’m always daunted by the old urban myth that opening mail or a package for someone else is a federal offense )

I know that anxiety often causes people to go to worst-case scenarios, but if you step back, do you think they would honor your privacy with respect to packages arriving?

It sounds amazing being able to let the sexual freak flags fly, just being able to walk around naked and collared and stuff would be so fun.

I always thought opening other peoples mail was illegal too lol, even if it's not I'll just pretend it is. And yeah, they've never opened mail or packages that were mine. So as long as everything arrives in a normal amazon box I think it will be fine. I'm probably over worrying, but I'll just make sure I'm home on the scheduled delivery day.

 

[Bottomlover]

Don't assume that everything in one order will be shipped together. Things are often sent from different places and arrive at different times. The mark as gift idea is a good one, but I still wouldn't trust Amazon to be discreet. Consider buying toys from vendors who understand discretion.

We have a fingerprint doorknob on our bedroom door and after 5 years the teenagers still can't get past it. I also have a steel cabinet with a lock in the basement where I keep things I don't want them getting into.

 

[IARainman]

If anyone opens the box by accident, just tell them it's for a fancy dress party. Or for a friend who's too embarrassed to have it sent to their own house.

Which begs the question, just exactly which butt plug do you wear to a fancy dress party?

 

[jedclampet69]

If anyone opens the box by accident, just tell them it's for a fancy dress party. Or for a friend who's too embarrassed to have it sent to their own house.

Haha. This is a reminder of when I was early 20's I had a married mate a little older than I .. After the bars and hotels closed in our area a lot of people use to head to a near by shop to get hotdogs and other food to eat on the way home .. They also so under the counter pornograhic magazines .. Before we got to the shop he hits me up even giving me the money then telling me a friend of his wife worked in the shop so could I buy him a magazine .. Yep no worries I say .. I asked the counter staff ,gave them the money then they handed me that magazine in a brown paper bag .. As soon as I started to walk away from the counter he calls out so everyone in the shop could hear .. Do you still read those dirty magazines and loud enough for the entire street to hear..

 

[RoperTrace]

I don't have the living with parents problem, but I can relate. I separated from my husband last year but had no where to go so had to stay with him until I got my own place. It took 8 months. In that time, I found my sub self again, and ordered toys and play things to explore this side of me more. I even met my Master while I was still living there and had my day collar delivered there.
I got through the anxiety by thinking about the pleasure and joy.
Now I have my own place, I can have whatever I want delivered to me. But I also have a 10 yr old daughter who lives with me 50% of the time and a 19 yr old son who visits. I dread the idea of them going snooping.

"Mum, what are these spiky things in your sewing area?"
"Oh darling that's just a pair of tack bra inserts I'm making."
Hopefully she's 18 before she finds anything, because I've gone a bit batty toy wise in the last few months

Couldn't they be kept in a lockable case, something similar to how I lock up ammo and handgun from my grandson when he's visiting? Most of these cases slide under a bed frame. Otherwise, kids will find it.

 

[Curious_2]

I don't know if anyone else has had this nerve wracking experience, but I moved back to my parents place a couple years ago cause I needed a support system to help me deal with my bipolar disorder which got a lot worse around age 27-28ish. When I did, I threw away my collar, leash, cuffs, and dildo out of fear of family members finding them. I've always had so much anxiety around friends and family finding out the kind of stuff I'm into. They probably wouldn't care, but I'm just such a private person it would be horrifying if they found out.

Now a couple years later I've finally gone on Amazon and got a collar, leash, and dildo. I selected the shipping option that takes longer but put's all the items into one box (hopefully), and I got new pants also so hopefully getting four items is enough to convince the workers at Amazon to make sure they're all put into a single discreet box.

Has anyone here ever had such bad anxiety about this kind of stuff?

And did any of you find a way to reduce the anxiety you were feeling?

I might just cancel the order cause it would be so embarrassing if the collar or leash was delivered in a way where everyone here could see what it is. None of us have dogs, so it would be painfully obvious that I'm a fuckin weirdo. And I'm the kind of guy who doesn't publicly disclose my sexuality to anyone who's not my partner, so if the dildo was seen, I would have a full blown panic attack.

I wish I would've just waited till I got my own place again. But I love BDSM and masturbating, and I feel like it's a huge part of my private life that makes me really happy.

Sorry for ranting, I should probably be talking to a therapist about this. Not a bunch of kinky people who are probably way braver then me when it comes to this.

Did you ever have to tell your toys -Shhhhhhhh!?

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Couldn't they be kept in a lockable case, something similar to how I lock up ammo and handgun from my grandson when he's visiting? Most of these cases slide under a bed frame. Otherwise, kids will find it.

Oh I expect they will eventually find they bag. It will be stored in a spot that's not easy to get to, so it won't be an easy find

 

[mrdiscreet2]

Wouldn’t a locking suitcase work?