How Long Do You Wait Before You Reveal Your True Perverted Self?

[SmokingFap]

Hi all! I'm just curious how long you have to know/date someone, in real life, before you're comfortable sharing your deepest, darkest memories, fetishes, and fantasies. ALL of them. Are you always brazen and straightforward, putting all your perverted cards on the table to start with? Or does it take you weeks, months, or even years to fully bare your twisted soul? I know many, if not most of you out there, are married or are in long-term commitments, so how long did it take before you revealed your final form? Or have you never come completely clean with your spouse/partner, and that's why you love Lit?

Looking forward to all answers. As always, have a horny day!

 

[live4thebj]

I have showed and told her some things. Wasn’t her thing and she finds my past disgusting. Good thing I didn’t share my incest fetish.

 

[JamiesJamys]

I have a pretty standard list of likes and links I go over when sex gets brought up the first or second time. I have a list of “these aren’t necessary for me to have a good time and they are highly likely to freak someone out” that gets mentioned once the trust and communication is there.

 

[cdstefi]

Met my wife on fetlife so you could say it was all out there from the start and before

 

[JamiesJamys]

Met my wife on fetlife so you could say it was all out there from the start and before

This was something that was dawning on me as I typed my response. “I don’t typically meet people like this anymore and I meet them where it’s going to be assumed I’m into something”

 

[SmokingFap]

Met my wife on fetlife so you could say it was all out there from the start and before

What a great way to start a relationship. Did you have ANY secrets left to share (or not) when you finally got together?

 

[SmokingFap]

I'm single now. I try to be open that I am kinky as early as possible, but I leave darker specifics until I know that I want them to know.

I think that's a perfectly sensible approach to have. Of course, I say that because I'm the same way.

 

[cdstefi]

What a great way to start a relationship. Did you have ANY secrets left to share (or not) when you finally got together?

Not really, just that first-date apprehension over whether we'd click in reality after all the naughty messaging. We did

 

[Kelliezgirl]

It's a bit of a continum.
I start off with the little things, I have a lingerie fetish, and the first time he sees my knickers they are going to be something sexy.
From there it just kind of goes as trust builds.

 

[HampshireBoy]

I don't have a set rule and have tended to see how it goes with each partner; For instance I met one ex through online dating and we had text and phone sex before we met in person so I think I had let things slip without meaning to. As our relationship developed we both opened up until we knew that could both share anything without freaking the other person out.

My wife is pretty vanilla (though not as much as I thought when we met) so I was far more careful. We'd been dating a year before I felt able to share my love of naturism and CFNM. We'd also been dating a couple of years before I let slip working naked at home and fantasising about a BJ whilst on a work phone call.

There is other stuff which I don't feel able to tell her and keep online, hence Lit.

 

[nyguy1980]

I think the rule is I try to be as honest as possible. I also think some of the fantasies change and involve with time. Not all of them would be approved by or even considered by my partner nowadays.
But like someone said most of us do not share all of our fantasies and so we look for alternative outlets.

 

[SmokingFap]

I think the rule is I try to be as honest as possible. I also think some of the fantasies change and involve with time. Not all of them would be approved by or even considered by my partner nowadays.
But like someone said most of us do not share all of our fantasies and so we look for alternative outlets.

I'm not sure Lit would even exist if we could all fulfill our fantasies at will.

 

[nyguy1980]

I'm not sure Lit would even exist if we could all fulfill our fantasies at will.

I actually think it would exist and be even worse.

Plus a lot of people like to reminisce and talk about the stuff they have done.

 

[HornyKatie1979]

I told my ex husband I liked pee and his reaction was basically "EW!" so never told him any more.

 

[SmokingFap]

I actually think it would exist and be even worse.

Plus a lot of people like to reminisce and talk about the stuff they have done.

Very true. Somehow I hadn't considered that.

 

[SmokingFap]

I told my ex husband I liked pee and his reaction was basically "EW!" so never told him any more.

I hope that didn't prevent you from confessing other fetishes. And, well... *I* like pee...

 

[curioustxn]

Hi all! I'm just curious how long you have to know/date someone, in real life, before you're comfortable sharing your deepest, darkest memories, fetishes, and fantasies. ALL of them. Are you always brazen and straightforward, putting all your perverted cards on the table to start with? Or does it take you weeks, months, or even years to fully bare your twisted soul? I know many, if not most of you out there, are married or are in long-term commitments, so how long did it take before you revealed your final form? Or have you never come completely clean with your spouse/partner, and that's why you love Lit?

Looking forward to all answers. As always, have a horny day!

Never reveal you inner-most secrets until you know what is in the other person's mind

 

[SmokingFap]

Never reveal you inner-most secrets until you know what is in the other person's mind

On the one hand, I definitely agree with you. You don't want to scare off a great person. On the other, I know lots of people who waited too long to reveal their innermost desires, kind of "vetting" their partners, and ended up in marriages that weren't completely satisfying. I suppose there's no one best approach. Unfortunately.

 

[Handeguy]

I told my ex husband I liked pee and his reaction was basically "EW!" so never told him any more.

I can relate. Told my SO some things that ended up turning her off. On my scale, they were prtty mild, so I didn't go further.

 

[HornyKatie1979]

I can relate. Told my SO some things that ended up turning her off. On my scale, they were prtty mild, so I didn't go further.

Yep - definitely need someone sexually open-minded!

 

[jaF0]

One of my very earliest life lessons, so many years ago ... NEVER fully trust anyone. NEVER. No exceptions.

 

[curioustxn]

Ask them about their fantasies/secrets before you reveal yours. You don't have to wait too long before you find out where their mindset is.

 

[SmokingFap]

Has anyone tried leading with the most outrageous and perverted topic possible, just to feel someone out for how they might react to lesser fantasies and fetishes? Like in a salary negotiation, starting off with a ridiculously high demand, then the two sides navigate to a reasonable middleground.

 

[tristantrotsky]

Hi all! I'm just curious how long you have to know/date someone, in real life, before you're comfortable sharing your deepest, darkest memories, fetishes, and fantasies. ALL of them. Are you always brazen and straightforward, putting all your perverted cards on the table to start with? Or does it take you weeks, months, or even years to fully bare your twisted soul? I know many, if not most of you out there, are married or are in long-term commitments, so how long did it take before you revealed your final form? Or have you never come completely clean with your spouse/partner, and that's why you love Lit?
Looking forward to all answers. As always, have a horny day!

Sometimes, never.
Which is sad when it's the bone-hard truth.
Some relationships operate as parallel continuums.

 

[tristantrotsky]

I can relate. Told my SO some things that ended up turning her off. On my scale, they were prtty mild, so I didn't go further.

Sharing is a gift to both give and be received.
There must be a two-way openness...