How do you help someone get over being abused

[kikmosa]

Gil,

You get a big kiss for starting this thread. I'd like to nominate you (and everyone else who's showing such great support) for casual sainthood. It's just like regular sainthood, but you can be alive, and it doesn’t matter whether or not you do the whole church/god thing. It’s an equal opportunity award.

I'd also like to send out tons of applause and hugs to the brave people who've told their stories. You are all SO brave to be telling your stories. I admire you lots.

I was raped twice. I’m barely two decades old.
And for four years I never told.

Being fifteen, and going in to school with fingerprints on my neck and teeth marks on my face exposed me to the amount of ugly there is on this planet.

My mom called me a slut. I didn’t bother to tell her what went on. I couldn’t get a word in, first of all... I didn’t want to admit to anyone that I had any vulnerabilities, especially so close to having had them exploited.

When I finally got the balls (but I don’t have any... I'm a girl!) up to tell my friends what'd happened, one of my best friends decided to try to take advantage...
This guy didn't get as far, because my posture precluded his removing my pants.
Ow.

My trauma was far less severe, but I still flinch when a guy I don’t know tries to talk to me.
I am afraid to be alone (in or out of public) with a guy.
I check the lock about six times a night.

I really can’t imagine how hard it must be for you, but you're succeeding. You're out of hell; you’ve got a great support system, and friends. You’re all damned courageous people. Rock on.

Big cheers to everyone for surviving!
Big BOO's to the cause of our sufferings!

Wow. Reading this really shows how young I am.

I go through much the same thing. I'm very nervous about being out. Men scare me to the point that I feel like I'm going to throw up yet my job had me dealing with mostly men. I have locks and chains on my front door and locks and padlocks on the back. All of my windows are locked and blocked in where even if they break them, they have to work to get in. My bed is right by a high window that can't be reached without a ladder yet if anyone breaks in the front ones I can be out this one in seconds. I have a weapon of some sort in every room. And yet there are time I still don't feel safe. I know why I live like this, it doesn't make it any easier. But over time, with all of the support of people like Gil, I find that I'm beginning to relax a bit. I'm still cautious, but I'm dealing with it better. It takes time and I'm having to learn a lot of things.

One is that it was not my fault. I did nothing to deserve what happened to me. He was in the wrong and not me. What happened to you was not your fault. You did nothing to deserve it or encourage it. They were in the wrong. They are the ones thatneed to be punished. Don't punish yourself for their faults.

As for your mother, I can understand how you feel there. I stayed over at my parents for a bit when she was sick and she called me in the middle of the night. I wear this overall shorts set to sleep in when I'm not at home. But since it covers so much, I don't wear a shirt under it. She took one look and told me I looked like a whore. That hurt so much. But she was wrong and so was your mother. You were not a slut, you were a victum. It took me a long time to admit that to myself. It's not a crime to admit that sometimes you need help.
Reach out to someone, find the help you need even if it's just someone to listen. Anyone here would listen to anything you need to say. That's the whole idea behind this thread. To give people a place to go where no one judges and everyone supports. Anything you need, just ask and we will do the best we can to do or get it for you. Don't try to keep it all inside or it will consume you.

I'm sorry if a lot of this isn't making sense. I just got out of the dintist a bit ago and the painkillers have me a bit wacky. I think I'll come back later when my heads straight and try this again.

Just please, let us help.

 

[Gil_T2]

I go through much the same thing. I'm very nervous about being out. Men scare me to the point that I feel like I'm going to throw up yet my job had me dealing with mostly men. I have locks and chains on my front door and locks and padlocks on the back. All of my windows are locked and blocked in where even if they break them, they have to work to get in. My bed is right by a high window that can't be reached without a ladder yet if anyone breaks in the front ones I can be out this one in seconds. I have a weapon of some sort in every room. And yet there are time I still don't feel safe. I know why I live like this, it doesn't make it any easier. But over time, with all of the support of people like Gil, I find that I'm beginning to relax a bit. I'm still cautious, but I'm dealing with it better. It takes time and I'm having to learn a lot of things.

One is that it was not my fault. I did nothing to deserve what happened to me. He was in the wrong and not me. What happened to you was not your fault. You did nothing to deserve it or encourage it. They were in the wrong. They are the ones thatneed to be punished. Don't punish yourself for their faults.

As for your mother, I can understand how you feel there. I stayed over at my parents for a bit when she was sick and she called me in the middle of the night. I wear this overall shorts set to sleep in when I'm not at home. But since it covers so much, I don't wear a shirt under it. She took one look and told me I looked like a whore. That hurt so much. But she was wrong and so was your mother. You were not a slut, you were a victum. It took me a long time to admit that to myself. It's not a crime to admit that sometimes you need help.
Reach out to someone, find the help you need even if it's just someone to listen. Anyone here would listen to anything you need to say. That's the whole idea behind this thread. To give people a place to go where no one judges and everyone supports. Anything you need, just ask and we will do the best we can to do or get it for you. Don't try to keep it all inside or it will consume you.

I'm sorry if a lot of this isn't making sense. I just got out of the dintist a bit ago and the painkillers have me a bit wacky. I think I'll come back later when my heads straight and try this again.

Just please, let us help.

KIKI your post is fine & your words are clear. I just wish I didn't live so faraway because I'dlike to be able to give so much more help to ppl who need an understanding ear.

 

[ElvenAngel]

By Sweet_Little_cookie: My trauma was far less severe, but I still flinch when a guy I don’t know tries to talk to me.

TO Sweet_little_Cookie.
I haven't been on this thread long, but the people here taught
me one thing, no matter what our story, who we are or how long
it went on for, we are all victims, and not one of us deserved
what happened to us.

That has the most important thing i have learned from the 'saints on this site' that it was not my fault and you have to believe that too. in some aspects my story is a little simmilar to yours and i am not much older than you. ( please don't miss understand, i am
not trying to claim to know what you have suffered we all go through our own private hell) but i hope you can draw strength from this site to grow past what those bastards did to you.


If you ever want to talk to someone who has suffered to feel free
to pm me or anyone here or even email or msn me at
[email]lacewitch@hotmail.com[/email], and i'll do my best, please feel
free to talk to anyone here none of us will try to hurt you or turn
you away wse are here to try to help you make yourself stronger. So if you need some one to lean on we'll be here one
way or another.

On a personal note i would like to say thankyou for myself to everyone here: for the kindness and support you have shown
me, and the inspiration you have given me.
After 5 years i have finaly picked up the courage, and i have made an appointment to go and find out about seeing a counselor. So thank you everyone for that, it is one more step for
me along that healing road, and i would not have been able to take it if ii had not come here.

Elven xxxx




huggs and kisses
xxxx

 

[sweet_little_cookie]

TO Sweet_little_Cookie.
I haven't been on this thread long, but the people here taught
me one thing, no matter what our story, who we are or how long
it went on for, we are all victims, and not one of us deserved
what happened to us.

That has the most important thing i have learned from the 'saints on this site' that it was not my fault and you have to believe that too. in some aspects my story is a little simmilar to yours and i am not much older than you. ( please don't miss understand, i am
not trying to claim to know what you have suffered we all go through our own private hell) but i hope you can draw strength from this site to grow past what those bastards did to you.

Thank you. This forum is helping me out a whole bunch.
Ive got a great SO who has been telling me its not my fault lots... and I believe him.

My big problem is thoughts of revenge... but I don't want to let them turn me evil and bitter. I also don't want to be arrested for any revenge that I would attempt. Because I wouldn't attempt small, like superglue on a toilet seat.

How do you deal with that?

 

[Gil_T2]

Thank you. This forum is helping me out a whole bunch.
Ive got a great SO who has been telling me its not my fault lots... and I believe him.

My big problem is thoughts of revenge... but I don't want to let them turn me evil and bitter. I also don't want to be arrested for any revenge that I would attempt. Because I wouldn't attempt small, like superglue on a toilet seat.

How do you deal with that?

Even though I have never had any real life abuse like you (mine was all emotional) but can totally understand your HATE & knoe others feel this too but please remember that they get off on knowing that they got to you by their actions, I thnk by trying to forget their faces first might help then as time goes on you will slowly forget them totally...Not saing that you will ever forget what they did but make them non descript images.

I know here there are several PHONE counciling centres who just listen & give advice & never judge anyone, they can also advise of where to get the help you need.

 

[Gil_T2]

TO Sweet_little_Cookie.
I haven't been on this thread long, but the people here taught
me one thing, no matter what our story, who we are or how long
it went on for, we are all victims, and not one of us deserved
what happened to us.

That has the most important thing i have learned from the 'saints on this site' that it was not my fault and you have to believe that too. in some aspects my story is a little simmilar to yours and i am not much older than you. ( please don't miss understand, i am
not trying to claim to know what you have suffered we all go through our own private hell) but i hope you can draw strength from this site to grow past what those bastards did to you.


If you ever want to talk to someone who has suffered to feel free
to pm me or anyone here or even email or msn me at
[email]lacewitch@hotmail.com[/email], and i'll do my best, please feel
free to talk to anyone here none of us will try to hurt you or turn
you away wse are here to try to help you make yourself stronger. So if you need some one to lean on we'll be here one
way or another.

On a personal note i would like to say thankyou for myself to everyone here: for the kindness and support you have shown
me, and the inspiration you have given me.
After 5 years i have finaly picked up the courage, and i have made an appointment to go and find out about seeing a counselor. So thank you everyone for that, it is one more step for
me along that healing road, and i would not have been able to take it if ii had not come here.

Elven xxxx




huggs and kisses
xxxx

Your post made me very happy that wehave helped another victim to find their true self plus you are making the mover to get professional help in dealing with your horrors, it will still take time just use this time to build you & who you are.

 

[kikmosa]

Thank you. This forum is helping me out a whole bunch.
Ive got a great SO who has been telling me its not my fault lots... and I believe him.

My big problem is thoughts of revenge... but I don't want to let them turn me evil and bitter. I also don't want to be arrested for any revenge that I would attempt. Because I wouldn't attempt small, like superglue on a toilet seat.

How do you deal with that?

I too had and have thoughts of revenge. The things I thought of and even now still think of make my stomach turn. That's really normal. It's part of the anger you feel towards them for what they did. One thing is to not keep that anger inside of you where it can eat at you. I found several ways to help get my anger out. Most of them destructive. I used a ball-peen hammer to totally demolish a tree once. I take a two liter coke bottle and fill it with water, then hang it from a tree and beat it to death. (You get quite wet with that one) I found a pic of him and had it blown up and use it for target practice. I'm quite a good shot now. Any thing you can do to use that anger and let it escape. After awhile you'll find that it gets easier to deal with. Close your eyes and mentally rip them apart. Make it as graphic as you can and before long you'll find that the things you think about will make you slightly sick. Evenually it gets to where you no longer want to do these things even in your mind. Then, after you do one of these things, sit and relax and breath deeply. Let the anger wash out of you. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but sooner or later you'll slow down on the number of times you need to do this until one day, without even noticing, you won't be doing them at all. It's rare that I even feel the need to do this any more. The anger is still there but it no longer controls me, I control it.

Just remember this, the anger is normal. All of us have felt it at one point or another. Don't let it control you or they still win.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Thank you. This forum is helping me out a whole bunch.
Ive got a great SO who has been telling me its not my fault lots... and I believe him.

My big problem is thoughts of revenge... but I don't want to let them turn me evil and bitter. I also don't want to be arrested for any revenge that I would attempt. Because I wouldn't attempt small, like superglue on a toilet seat.

How do you deal with that?

Hi Cookie . . . the best thing to do, from hard experience, is to forget about it. Very easily said, and very difficult to do. But absolutely necessary.

The waste of time and thought just eats you out, leaving only an emppty shell . . . know that karma comes around and they will get thier just desserts . . .

A small personal example . . . a former boss made about 20 false claims against me . . . the big bosses backes him . . . I pulled out of the Industrial Commission hearing for personal reasons . . . (after helping a mate clean up his former gf's estate) . . . he remains in a job where the employer requires mediocrity and he is well fitted to the job . . . and is waitng until retirement to get out . . . another five eyars down the track in a job he is poorly equipped to handle, makes him depressed and demonstrates his inabilities to himself on a daily basis . . . that's better than I could do.

So . . . accept the past and put it behind you as experience. Learn form yesterday, plan for tomorrow . . . but live life and love passionately in today . . .

 

[Gil_T2]

KIKI & DON I thankyou for your posting in my absence due to not being well but hope to be back soon as I can.

I'm only here to clear my emails but when I saw a post on this thread I had to come see, with you two here I know it is in very safe hands.

Big warm hugs to anyone who needs them.

 

[Blackbich]

I am seeing this Gil. And reading every word. Yes I escaped but as you said, I'm still trapped in my mind. But I am trying. I no longer give in and I'm learning to stand up for myself. The people hear at Lit have made a big difference in my life. For the first time, I feel that I'm accepted, faults and all. My sense of self worth is still low but at least it exists now. Slowly, bit by bit I'm rebuilding who I am.
Please, all of you out there, don't give up. There is hope in this world. Yes, there are monsters out there, but as I'm learning, there are Angels also.
To Gil, my Angel.

Kikmosa,
Reading your horror story brought tears to my eyes and a sob to my heart. Then, as I'm reading through this entire thread I get to this post which creates the same reaction but in a happy way. You are definitely on your way, sweetheart. I am SO happy for you, you deserve it and SO much more.

To the other ladies and gentlemen who have been abused, my heartfelt prayers are with you all as well. It seems like, in general, you are all thriving and moving ahead.

 

[Blackbich]

The hardest thing for me to get over is the emotional/mental aspect of abuse. I have, as mentioned by one of the posters (I'm sorry, I can't remember who it was), gained weight in an attempt to appear unattractive to men in general. After all, if I don't get their attention, they can't hurt me...right? I have since learned that there are going to be men who are attracted to you regardless of what you do if you are out in the world at all.

Now onto my story (please be patient, tis very long):
I was kidnapped on my way home from school, taken to the kidnapper's house where the only thing I remember is standing naked on a toilet seat crying and a naked man in the bathroom with me. Not so good since whatever happened I've managed to block out for 30 years. The next thing I remember is walking home crying and, for some reason, feeling like I had to lie to my mom. And I remember, for some reason, he put my panties on backwards. *shrug* Don't ask me. Fast forward 11 or so years to high school where I lose my virginity on a nasty bathroom floor to a 'friend' that decided to make me see things his way. One of the things I hear from him as I'm being assaulted...'It's your fault for being so damn cute.' I thought I had actually overcome that one until a man said that to me recently explaining his flirtatious behavior - I went on a two week eating binge until I realized what was going on. Anyway, again, for some reason, I didn't tell my mom. She was having health issues and became sort of hateful towards me after I developed. I don't know if it was health issues and the timing just sucked or if she had issues with my growing up. Also, my step-father had made it known that a woman who is raped brings it on herself. I guess I was ashamed that I had 'brought it on myself' and didn't want it confirmed by his snide comments. *sigh* Anyway, fast forward from the sexual assault about 4 years. About 3 or 4 months after finally admitting to my mom and step-father that a sexual assault had occurred, my step-father decides to use the knowledge gained to try to coerce me into sleeping with him. After all, I'm grown so if I do it it's not abuse, right? He's concerned about being considered the bad guy, that's why he's chosen me since I'm his 'step-daughter' which isn't as bad as if he had decided to try to sleep with his own flesh and blood. Yes, he actually said that to me. This was around the same time that I decided to confide in what I thought was a male friend of mine what had happened. He threw me on the bed, pinned me down and told me he could rape me any time he wanted.

Any wonder why I have issues with men? LOL. I tried counseling, it didn't work. I was trying to deal with the rape issue and ignore the other two issues in my life - the apparent child rape and my step-father's attempted coercion. I was unable to deal with my step-father's actions because he and my mom tried to make me feel like I was being a baby because I had issues with the issue. Did that sentence make a bit of sense? Therefore, as long as I was around them, I was unable to completely deal with it the way I should have. I dealt by totally shutting down emotionally. I didn't care whether I lived or died. In fact, I used to pray something would happen to me and I'd get killed. That would take care of my not wanting to live and wouldn't be brought about by my own hand. Strangely, I'm not religious but it seemed important that my family know I hadn't killed myself. Stupid, huh? Since moving halfway across the country where I don't have to see them every day, I have started dealing with all of the issues in my life. It's a gradual process but I feel now. It shames me that there was a time I wouldn't have even blinked an eye at a 9-11 incident or been able to cry sad or happy tears at the stories I've read in this thread.

I have a lot of guilt issues I'm dealing with...my sibling's sexual assaults/molestation and how I could have prevented them, how I could have prevented my own, stuff like that. If I could just tell the nagging 'it's your fault' voices in my head to shut up....

 

[Gil_T2]

Kikmosa,
Reading your horror story brought tears to my eyes and a sob to my heart. Then, as I'm reading through this entire thread I get to this post which creates the same reaction but in a happy way. You are definitely on your way, sweetheart. I am SO happy for you, you deserve it and SO much more.

To the other ladies and gentlemen who have been abused, my heartfelt prayers are with you all as well. It seems like, in general, you are all thriving and moving ahead.

Thanks for your kind words & I draw my inspiration from KIKI's strength in fighting her demons aswhat you read is only part of the whole storyshe is a wonderful lady who if life was fair should have every thing she desires.

 

[Blackbich]

Thanks for your kind words & I draw my inspiration from KIKI's strength in fighting her demons aswhat you read is only part of the whole storyshe is a wonderful lady who if life was fair should have every thing she desires.

We are all wonderful people who deserve everything we desire. That being said, Kiki is definitely a very inspiring lady!

 

[Gil_T2]

We are all wonderful people who deserve everything we desire. That being said, Kiki is definitely a very inspiring lady!

I can only agree 100% with you & wish you luck with finding your desires in life.

 

[kikmosa]

I have a lot of guilt issues I'm dealing with...my sibling's sexual assaults/molestation and how I could have prevented them, how I could have prevented my own, stuff like that. If I could just tell the nagging 'it's your fault' voices in my head to shut up....

I've read your story and I disagree with one statement. IT WAS NOT IN ANY WAY YOUR FAULT. You did nothing to bring this on yourself. As a child you were defenceless in a society that was supposed to protect you. His fault and all adults fault. The guy in the bathroom, that was not your fault for being too cute. It was his fault for being a subhuman with no morals. He deserved to be castrated in a very ugly way without drugs. Preferably with a dull spoon. The guy that pinned you to the bed, He should be tied down in an ally behind a gay bar for a couple of hours.

As for your stepfather, he is an absolute asshole. He is the lowest form of scum. One, he was wrong for saying that a rape victum brought it on herself. They never do. They are victums. No one has the right to take the choice away from them. Two, when he married your mother he accepted the responsability of protecting you as his own daughter. He failed to protect you and became a prediter instead. Your mother failed in her duty to protect you by allowing this.

Not one item of this is in anyway your fault. In every case, it was the fault of the other and you were a victum. You were abused and raped.
But you survived and now it's time to move ahead. Getting away from the problem was a good move. Maybe now that you've started dealing with it yourself, you could maybe try the counsiling again. It may help at this point. Or even one of the phone services. Just to talk to someone and know that they care helps so much. And as much as it hurts, remembering what happened to you as a child may become nessasary. It may start coming back to you in flashbacks or nightmares as you deal with the other problems. You need to be prepared for that. It's completely possible that you may be able to deal with this on your own but you need to be willing to accept help if your need to. Most of all, don't let them win. Prove to yourself and them that you are much strong then they are or were. Rejoin life and live. It's not easy and it won't happen all at once, but it is possible. I'm learning that for myself.

If at any time you need someone to talk to, I'm here, Gil is here and he's one of the best. Any of us are here for you at anytime.

Pm me and I'll be glad to give you my e-mail addy. Anytime for anything.

((((((((((((((((((((BB))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Blackbich]

I've read your story and I disagree with one statement. IT WAS NOT IN ANY WAY YOUR FAULT. You did nothing to bring this on yourself.

<snip>

Not one item of this is in anyway your fault. In every case, it was the fault of the other and you were a victum. You were abused and raped.

I know, I keep telling myself that. If it was a friend of mine, it would piss me off that she felt this way. My heart knows this, I can't get it through to my head for some reason.

But you survived and now it's time to move ahead. Getting away from the problem was a good move. Maybe now that you've started dealing with it yourself, you could maybe try the counsiling again. It may help at this point. Or even one of the phone services. Just to talk to someone and know that they care helps so much. And as much as it hurts, remembering what happened to you as a child may become nessasary. It may start coming back to you in flashbacks or nightmares as you deal with the other problems. You need to be prepared for that. It's completely possible that you may be able to deal with this on your own but you need to be willing to accept help if your need to. Most of all, don't let them win. Prove to yourself and them that you are much strong then they are or were. Rejoin life and live. It's not easy and it won't happen all at once, but it is possible. I'm learning that for myself.

It's funny you should mention flashbacks. The only reason I know what happened to me as a child is because it came to me as flashbacks. I was 16 when it started. So far, the only memories that have come to me are the ones I mentioned. Looking back on it now, I think this happened because my subconscious detected what was going on with my siblings. It hasn't happened since but I know that the more I heal, the more it could/will probably happen and I'm prepared for it now. Well, better than I was at 15/16 anyway.

All I can say is Thank God for friends and some family. I had an aunt that I had just confided everything to who died shortly afterwards. It took a while but I then confided to my sister and a good friend of mine. They are helping heal the wounds and are there when I need grounding. It's great when I talk to my sister because we have a lot of the same issues; we're able to ground each other. Although we're 12 years apart, we are so much alike in most respects. I had been depressed for a long time and never understood why. The hardest thing for me was realizing that I have had depression issues since I was a kid and have never been truly happy. It's a slow mending process but I'm getting there and fully expect to be hell on wheels when I get there. I don't take hour long showers just to feel clean anymore and I have finally stopped constantly checking my closets before I go to bed. *sigh*

I have actually considered counseling but I'm just not ready to take that step again. I am thinking about going to a hypnotist to see if they can help me remember what happened to me when I was younger. Writing in my journal and finally getting it out in the open has helped more than you could possibly know. Well, getting it out to people who truly cared and didn't turn it around on me. I realize that some people are just asses and aren't worthy of my time and I no longer waste time with them.

If at any time you need someone to talk to, I'm here, Gil is here and he's one of the best. Any of us are here for you at anytime.

Pm me and I'll be glad to give you my e-mail addy. Anytime for anything.

((((((((((((((((((((BB))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you so much for the hug. The same goes here. I have many, many sources of inspiration from this thread. Thank you all for sharing your stories and giving me the courage for sharing mine.

 

[Gil_T2]

I know, I keep telling myself that. If it was a friend of mine, it would piss me off that she felt this way. My heart knows this, I can't get it through to my head for some reason.




It's funny you should mention flashbacks. The only reason I know what happened to me as a child is because it came to me as flashbacks. I was 16 when it started. So far, the only memories that have come to me are the ones I mentioned. Looking back on it now, I think this happened because my subconscious detected what was going on with my siblings. It hasn't happened since but I know that the more I heal, the more it could/will probably happen and I'm prepared for it now. Well, better than I was at 15/16 anyway.

All I can say is Thank God for friends and some family. I had an aunt that I had just confided everything to who died shortly afterwards. It took a while but I then confided to my sister and a good friend of mine. They are helping heal the wounds and are there when I need grounding. It's great when I talk to my sister because we have a lot of the same issues; we're able to ground each other. Although we're 12 years apart, we are so much alike in most respects. I had been depressed for a long time and never understood why. The hardest thing for me was realizing that I have had depression issues since I was a kid and have never been truly happy. It's a slow mending process but I'm getting there and fully expect to be hell on wheels when I get there. I don't take hour long showers just to feel clean anymore and I have finally stopped constantly checking my closets before I go to bed. *sigh*

I have actually considered counseling but I'm just not ready to take that step again. I am thinking about going to a hypnotist to see if they can help me remember what happened to me when I was younger. Writing in my journal and finally getting it out in the open has helped more than you could possibly know. Well, getting it out to people who truly cared and didn't turn it around on me. I realize that some people are just asses and aren't worthy of my time and I no longer waste time with them.




Thank you so much for the hug. The same goes here. I have many, many sources of inspiration from this thread. Thank you all for sharing your stories and giving me the courage for sharing mine.

BB I'm so sorry Ididn't wait to see my post up here as I would have seen your post which I have just read....Again I have been reduced to tears reading a post here & wondering how any true man could not feel your pain.

I am absolutely stuck for words to try to help you except to say that if there isanything at all I can do I will only be to glad to help you overcome your demons.

I also hope that the whole thing of what you do comes back 10 fold to these lowlife animals & there suffering will be eternal.I also hope that you do find the right professional help to see you through this healing process which I know is so very slow but the struggle through it will be worth the fight.

IT IS NEVER ANYONES RIGHT TO RAPE, ABUSE or MISTREAT ANYONE IN THIS WORLD & ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE IT.

NEVER NEVER NEVER...

BB there are guys who will love & respect you & treat you like the lady you are & the only time a hand will be laid on you it will be with care & love.....

As for me I'm still not well but had to come check on this thread as it is so important to me to try all I can to help anyone who comes here....

 

[Gil_T2]

BB please consider the professional help FIRST & not the hypnotist as the PRO can organise theother & be there to help if it's to much for you to handle as you remember.

Soft gentle {{{{{{{{{BB}}}}}}}}}

 

[Blackbich]

Thank you for the hugs, Gil. I am considering counseling. I think it will do me some good now since I'm not in a position of having to look in my step-father's face every day. Right now I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

 

[kikmosa]

Thank you for the hugs, Gil. I am considering counseling. I think it will do me some good now since I'm not in a position of having to look in my step-father's face every day. Right now I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

That's all that any of us can do hun. One day at a time. One problem at a time. One fear at a time. I agree with Gil about getting a counseler first. If you go to a hypnatist and start to have flashbacks he may not know how to deal with them. It would help to have someone there who did.

I too think it would do you good now. You've taken that first step of getting out of the area and away from the problem causer. Now you can deal with it easier.

You have my prayers and hopes and always my hugs.

{({({({(BB)})})})}

 

[Blackbich]

That's all that any of us can do hun. One day at a time. One problem at a time. One fear at a time. I agree with Gil about getting a counseler first. If you go to a hypnatist and start to have flashbacks he may not know how to deal with them. It would help to have someone there who did.

I too think it would do you good now. You've taken that first step of getting out of the area and away from the problem causer. Now you can deal with it easier.

I will definitely take you and Gil's words under advisement. Although I'd like to think I wouldn't freak out on a hypnotist because I basically know what to expect, there's the chance it would be very overwhelming to me. I shouldn't expect the hypnotist to be able to handle that.

You have my prayers and hopes and always my hugs.

{({({({(BB)})})})}

Thank you and right back at you, lady.

 

[kikmosa]

I will definitely take you and Gil's words under advisement. Although I'd like to think I wouldn't freak out on a hypnotist because I basically know what to expect, there's the chance it would be very overwhelming to me. I shouldn't expect the hypnotist to be able to handle that.



Thank you and right back at you, lady.

Yes, you do have an idea what to expect but under the control of a hypotist you would be experiencing it as the child you were at the time and not as the adult you are now. Things would be very hard for you to deal with as a child.

 

[BrownEyes26]

I will definitely take you and Gil's words under advisement. Although I'd like to think I wouldn't freak out on a hypnotist because I basically know what to expect, there's the chance it would be very overwhelming to me. I shouldn't expect the hypnotist to be able to handle that.


HI blackbich
You should definitely find out if the hypnotist is experienced in hypnotizing survivors, it makes all the difference in the world. A good hypnotist will watch you closely to see if you are starting to freak out and will be able to help you back to the present.

A good book to check out is Yvonne Dolan's "Resolving Sexual Abuse: Solution Focused Therapy and Ericksonian Hypnosis for Adult Survivors". It gives a clear understanding of hypnosis.

Hypnosis/regression therapy is not suitable for everyone, you should definitely talk it over with an experienced practitnioner/social worker before hand. I would suggest going to a sexual assualt centre, the one where I have been has groups and individual counselling for regression therapy.

Good luck, BE26.

 

[Blackbich]

HI blackbich
You should definitely find out if the hypnotist is experienced in hypnotizing survivors, it makes all the difference in the world. A good hypnotist will watch you closely to see if you are starting to freak out and will be able to help you back to the present.

A good book to check out is Yvonne Dolan's "Resolving Sexual Abuse: Solution Focused Therapy and Ericksonian Hypnosis for Adult Survivors". It gives a clear understanding of hypnosis.

Hypnosis/regression therapy is not suitable for everyone, you should definitely talk it over with an experienced practitnioner/social worker before hand. I would suggest going to a sexual assualt centre, the one where I have been has groups and individual counselling for regression therapy.

Good luck, BE26.

I plan to do a lot of research into the subject before I actually go through with it. I've had some of what happened to me come back to me in what I thought were dreams so I know it's in there ready to come out if I can just tap into it. I think I'm at a point now where I *need* to know in order to completely heal.

Thank you for the well wishes, BE26.

 

[BrownEyes26]

You're welcome be well.