How do you help someone get over being abused
- Thread starter Gil_T2
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mortalwombat
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weight loss ticker is looking good kiki *hugs*kikmosa said:
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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i think it could be for whatever you want it to be about.
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Bandit58
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Malaria said:
Hi Malaria - even if you don't feel comfortable posting, try reading through the thread. There may be something in it which may help you. I'm re-posting a link I was given which may be of use to you:
www.rainn.org
Sometimes the thread is quiet and then someone will post something and it comes to life again. It's helped many along the way (including me). It's not just for people who have been abused in relationships, you are welcome to talk about anything you like.
Feel free to PM me if you wish
kikmosa
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As Bandit said, often the thread falls silent but we're still here and we're still listening. What you say and when, or even if, you say anything is always your choice. Sometimes it's enough just to know there is a place you could talk if you want to.Malaria said:
And abuse is abuse, no matter if it's in a relationship, from a stranger or from family. And it can be physical, mental or emotional. Or all three. Doesn't matter, it's still abuse, still wrong and still hurts.
So when, or if, you decide to talk, we're here.
(((((Malaria)))))
mortalwombat
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Share if you want to Malaria-we are all here for you if needed. And even if all you need is a hug, still come here!
((((((((((((((((((((((((Malaria)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((((((Malaria)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Malaria
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I never like reliving the details but the more uncomfortable I feel about it, the more I realise I haven't gotten over it. I have felt more recently more resentment about my experiences and want to get over this once and for all. I appreciate I'm being vague and all the support given here already.
mortalwombat
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totally up to you-but there are alot of good listeners on this thread if you need to talk-maybe read back thru some of the posts and pick someone to pm. theres not a person on this thread who would mind.Malaria said:
((((((((((((((((((((malaria))))))))))))))))))))))-just in case you need one
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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it does feel funny, you're right. but b/c none of us know you, the likelihood of us judging you is a lot lower, if that helps.
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Malaria
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You're right. I've not gotten over this yet and trying one more way can't hurt. *deep breath* From the age of 5 until he died 7 years ago my grandad sexually abused me. My mum knew it happened because it happened to her. She told him to stop but he didn't. She never told my dad who still doesn't know because he'd have gone mad and probably killed him. I was never raped but being sexually aware at such a young age has really damaged me. I know that it's gotten me into some sticky situations including an attempted rape by my then boyfriend. I was easy to make out with but developed a real fear of sex and penises. I'm mostly over those now but have a lot of anger still inside me. I think thats it. Now i'm stuck
onlyerics
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Malaria said:
Hi, Malaria. I'm so sorry that you and your mother went through this.
(((Malaria)))
I was molested and was almost raped by my uncle ten years ago. It took years for me to say something or even to seek help. It is good that you shared this. It is a step.
Have you tried counseling? It really does help. Some people (and I am speaking from my personal experience...not everyone's) believe that they can handle or do this on their own. It is not easy, but you have to remember that you are doing this for yourself...and that you need to heal.
PM me if you would like.
Onlyerics
PS: Gil_T2, I know this has been said so many times, but this is a wonderful thread. This is my first post here, but I always read this thread when I am passing through.
onlyerics
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quoll said:
Thank you for this link, Quoll. Going back to the questions above...it really is all about power.
My uncle was a minister. Before the abuse happened, I trusted him a lot. He violated that trust and used it for his own purposes. Years before when he was in his teens, my older sister caught him peeking at her. They were closer in age. My sister is eight years older than me while she and my uncle were two years apart (He's older, btw). My sister didn't share this with me until after I told her of the abuse I went through. She told me that she never told anyone because he never touched her. And I think I know why.
He didn't have that "authority" yet he dared to look at her. When the abuse began, he was already a minister. I remember he told me that he was well-respected at the church so no one would believe me if I said anything.
So he used that power. Abusers like to have that feeling of authority over their victims.
Anyway, we can never erase what happened to in the past, but we can still move on. It's not always easy, but I believe that it is possible.
I am positive that priest/pedophile will eventually get what he deserves from the Man Upstairs.
Malaria
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I never told anyone because I never knew it was wrong. Because I was so young when it started I'd never known anything else. He led me to believe that it happened to everyone. My mum only found out because of a chance remark from my younger sister (who he also abused, we also believe he abused one of my cousins, the others he didn't see often enough to groom)
onlyerics
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Malaria...
...that is just so horrible what he did to you and your relatives. And it was wrong that he preyed on the innocent. That is why he did that so he could get away with it. But it was NOT your fault what happened. Please remember that. It was NEVER your fault to begin with. A grown man should have known better.
The anger that you mentioned from the other post stemmed from different reasons. And yes, you do have the right to be angry.
Talking to a professional counselor would definitely help. Everything is confidential, of course. Your counselor is not there to judge you, but to help you.
Of course there are the wonderful people here at the Lit that are always willing to help. I am here if you need to talk.
My prayers are with you.
Onlyerics
...that is just so horrible what he did to you and your relatives. And it was wrong that he preyed on the innocent. That is why he did that so he could get away with it. But it was NOT your fault what happened. Please remember that. It was NEVER your fault to begin with. A grown man should have known better.
The anger that you mentioned from the other post stemmed from different reasons. And yes, you do have the right to be angry.
Talking to a professional counselor would definitely help. Everything is confidential, of course. Your counselor is not there to judge you, but to help you.
Of course there are the wonderful people here at the Lit that are always willing to help. I am here if you need to talk.
My prayers are with you.
Onlyerics
