kikmosa said:I guess I need to cut portions again, lol.
Hope everyone is doing well.
one of my favorites is the smiling one. 
WHOA, stop it right there. First off, you are not being whiny. You are expressing anger and that's good for you. You have been through a tramatic experience and it's natural for things that remind you of it to give you problems.Lyrical Fool said:Wow...lots of familiar faces to a lurker
I found myself drawn back to the thread after so long -- lots of people healing, both physically and emotionally. Hope this finds everyone in good health and good moods.
And, Gil, I'm so proud of you for your non-smoking. I wish I could say that I stuck with it, but here I am, 20 lbs and 4 attempts later ... meh. I feel like a mess all around.
Plans are in place -- I'm getting back in school full time this fall after 10+ years of being out. I took a class this spring and it was very, very good for me. Going towards a teaching degree. Hopefully, then, a master's in philosophy. I'm becoming (all in very small degrees) more social ... I even took a chance in December and met someone wonderful, but I've only seen him twice since then.
But lately...there is so much going on that my head is spinning. A man I knew for 5 years, a great friend, has lately become obsessive and controlling. At least I was able to tell him that I choose not to be talked to/treated that way...but damn. After 5 years? There I go, doubting my judgment and my choices in whom I trust.
Work is gearing up, too. I was chosen (meh) to do a job that requires being in a very small room, much like the one I was in when I was attacked at work. I didn't make the connection instantly, but told them I was claustrophobic (a fairly new onset -- something else I didn't make the connection with til afterwards) ... they made me train in the room anyway, basically threatening insubordination. I had trouble breathing, but I made it through the night at work. I went home and was violently ill, and had panic attacks for the first time in a long, long time.
So I went to my supervisor and told her that I simply couldn't do it. I am a damn good employee -- I work, I show up sick and tired and I work when I show up, unlike the clock riders I work with. And that if she wanted to write me up, so be it, but there was some information she needed to be aware of. I told her about the attack, how my manager didn't care, and how I was at this point more angry with my cunt-all manager than I was with the drunk bastard that trapped me. I told her I went to a class that was offered by the hospital -- Non Violent Crises Intervention, and it didn't do anything. I told her I went to counseling, which was horrible in itself, and that didn't do anything.
And I'm pissed again. I'm pissed that this hasn't been dealt with. I thought it was, that I was over it. I'm pissed that I am judged to be a bad employee because of being forced to do something that other people aren't.
And I'm pissed because I sound so damn whiny.
*sigh*
((((((((((Lyrical Fool))))))))))Lyrical Fool said:Wow...lots of familiar faces to a lurker
I found myself drawn back to the thread after so long -- lots of people healing, both physically and emotionally. Hope this finds everyone in good health and good moods.
And, Gil, I'm so proud of you for your non-smoking. I wish I could say that I stuck with it, but here I am, 20 lbs and 4 attempts later ... meh. I feel like a mess all around.
Plans are in place -- I'm getting back in school full time this fall after 10+ years of being out. I took a class this spring and it was very, very good for me. Going towards a teaching degree. Hopefully, then, a master's in philosophy. I'm becoming (all in very small degrees) more social ... I even took a chance in December and met someone wonderful, but I've only seen him twice since then.
But lately...there is so much going on that my head is spinning. A man I knew for 5 years, a great friend, has lately become obsessive and controlling. At least I was able to tell him that I choose not to be talked to/treated that way...but damn. After 5 years? There I go, doubting my judgment and my choices in whom I trust.
Work is gearing up, too. I was chosen (meh) to do a job that requires being in a very small room, much like the one I was in when I was attacked at work. I didn't make the connection instantly, but told them I was claustrophobic (a fairly new onset -- something else I didn't make the connection with til afterwards) ... they made me train in the room anyway, basically threatening insubordination. I had trouble breathing, but I made it through the night at work. I went home and was violently ill, and had panic attacks for the first time in a long, long time.
So I went to my supervisor and told her that I simply couldn't do it. I am a damn good employee -- I work, I show up sick and tired and I work when I show up, unlike the clock riders I work with. And that if she wanted to write me up, so be it, but there was some information she needed to be aware of. I told her about the attack, how my manager didn't care, and how I was at this point more angry with my cunt-all manager than I was with the drunk bastard that trapped me. I told her I went to a class that was offered by the hospital -- Non Violent Crises Intervention, and it didn't do anything. I told her I went to counseling, which was horrible in itself, and that didn't do anything.
And I'm pissed again. I'm pissed that this hasn't been dealt with. I thought it was, that I was over it. I'm pissed that I am judged to be a bad employee because of being forced to do something that other people aren't.
And I'm pissed because I sound so damn whiny.
*sigh*
kikmosa said:WHOA, stop it right there. First off, you are not being whiny. You are expressing anger and that's good for you. You have been through a tramatic experience and it's natural for things that remind you of it to give you problems.
Second, if your insensitive prick of a manager tries to give you a hassle like that again you threaten him (or her) with charges of emotional abuse. And follow through. And claustrophobia is a serious problem that managers are supposed to make allowences for. That would be mental abuse. If you've been diagnosed with it and they force you to work in a place that will trigger it or lose your job, that's harrasment. OSHA guarantees all workers a safe and healthy work enviroment and that includes mental health.
Third, some friend. Sounds like he's jealous to me. Set boundries and if he crosses them say goodbye. I know it's not easy but sometimes you have to do it. Better a little pain now then a lot of pain latter. As for your choices, Hun, we all look back and ask ourselves why, how, and many other questions. Reality is that we all make mistakes, but we have to get past them and not dwell on them to the point of them ruling our lives. We can't see the future and we can't predict how people are going to change. All we can do is judge on what we know right now and make the best choice we can.
We can't live in yesterday, we can't live in tomorrow, all we can do is live in today. It's taken me a long time to realize this but it's how I need to live now. I can't move forward as long as I'm chained to the past.
I don't know if any of this will help you, I hope so. And never think your being whiny. We all need to get things off our chests now and then. That's what this place is for. So rant, rave and lose control. We all understand and have been there.
. . . that Kiki is a fiesty one!!! 
Don K Dyck said:heheheheh . . . you were correct Gil
yes i could have-i did think of it and i actually did ask my brother but he didn't know either. I wasn't going to ask her when i saw her before surgery as i knew she was trying not to think about it, last night i wasn't there long-about 45 minutes, and i didn't bring it up because of the presense of her boyfriend who i have trouble being in the same room as. you know the type of person that makes you want to shower straight after being with them? he's one of them, comes across as being really sleazy. no idea why-i cant put my finger on it. Whats really odd is his son and i were pretty good friends many years ago. I will find out all the mother details but it might take some time. After all this is the woman who told me about a family reunion in tasmania 3 weeks after it happened!Gil_T2 said:i do know a bit about what has passed in your life Wombat but you could have asked
you know i never even thought of asking the staff! or looking at the notesGil_T2 said:the surgery notes will be easy to find or even ask the nursing staff you don't even need to ask her & yes do know what you mean about your mum's B/F as several friends have similar sadly they do not see it yet.
mortalwombat said:
always gives me a kiss then grabs the notes & if something she dosen't know or has question on she grabs staff to explain which is great for me as i don't give a damn as long as i get out ASAP (hate the place), i am blessed to have her love.
apastromance said:
Apastromance }}}}}}}
Don K Dyck said:Hi Apastromance . . . sometimes we have to fold up our tents and move on to a new camp site . . . it is hard without doubt . . .
. . .but there is always the future that YOU want to create for YOURSELF . . .
{{{{{{{
Take care and come back when you need to . . .
m.j.h said:
's for all who want one. Properly sterilized ones so I won't pass this damn bug to anyone else, lol.
