How do you help someone get over being abused

[sexyjenn]

hey hey

How is everyone doing? bump for a great thread and a big hello to everyone here because you all rock

I think my friend has been doing okay, she goes through phases overall she's been sounding more positive. So hope for the best is all I can do now

 

[Gil_T2]

hey hey

How is everyone doing? bump for a great thread and a big hello to everyone here because you all rock

I think my friend has been doing okay, she goes through phases overall she's been sounding more positive. So hope for the best is all I can do now

JENN this is good news & hope that it is a sign that there is a future with less of the past revisiting her so that she can rebuild her lost self esteem.

 

[mortalwombat]

hey hey

How is everyone doing? bump for a great thread and a big hello to everyone here because you all rock

I think my friend has been doing okay, she goes through phases overall she's been sounding more positive. So hope for the best is all I can do now

very happy for u jenn-hope she continues to improve. I also hope she knows how lucky she is to have you there for her.

 

[sexyjenn]

So do I

You guys rock! I really appreciated all your advice and opinions they helped me out a lot if not her.

Just cruising around lit this evening, feeling rather horny so good thing I'm here

 

[kikmosa]

Bump!

 

[Quoll]

Bump!

What a good idea.

 

[Gil_T2]

Bump!

Joining KIKI & quoll in bumping the thread.

 

[Wolf_Song]

Early seasonal greetings and best wished in heart and joys to each and all !

( huggeries included for any whom wish them )

 

[Don K Dyck]

Bumpitty bump bump bump . . .

Merry Christmas everyone!!

May the New Year bring you everything that you hope for . . .

. . . and more than you deserve!!

 

[kikmosa]

Merry Christmas everyone.

 

[Gil_T2]

Merry Christmas everyone.

Some very special chrissy hugs for KIKI & I hope that all have a wonderful christmas & the new year brings new joy to every poster on this thread.

 

[Noor]

Happy Solstice Everyone!

 

[m.j.h]

Just a quick bump for the thread that has been so helpful to those that needed it.

 

[mortalwombat]

merry christmas and a happy new year to all here

 

[Wolf_Song]

Happy New Years! ( with grin and or hug for any whom wish them )

 

[kikmosa]

Hope everyone is doing well so far this year.

(All comments below are just ramblings and are not to be taken seriously)

I'm doing ok, I guess. Wish I could get here more often. I have the time but I just can't seem to get the motavation to go online much anymore. I seem to be falling back into some of my old habits lately. I just sit a lot and I'm not sleeping a lot. I don't know, it just feels like too much effort to do things anymore. I'm just tired of trying. I'm sure it'll pass sooner or later. Maybe it's just the time of year or something. I try to make myself do things but so far it's just the going to work parts that are suceeding. I'd better stop writing now, I'm even depressing myself.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Hope everyone is doing well so far this year.

(All comments below are just ramblings and are not to be taken seriously)

I'm doing ok, I guess. Wish I could get here more often. I have the time but I just can't seem to get the motavation to go online much anymore. I seem to be falling back into some of my old habits lately. I just sit a lot and I'm not sleeping a lot. I don't know, it just feels like too much effort to do things anymore. I'm just tired of trying. I'm sure it'll pass sooner or later. Maybe it's just the time of year or something. I try to make myself do things but so far it's just the going to work parts that are suceeding. I'd better stop writing now, I'm even depressing myself.

HI Kiki . . . Happy New Year . .

I find walking to be useful at times like these . .

 

[m.j.h]

Hope everyone is doing well so far this year.

(All comments below are just ramblings and are not to be taken seriously)

I'm doing ok, I guess. Wish I could get here more often. I have the time but I just can't seem to get the motavation to go online much anymore. I seem to be falling back into some of my old habits lately. I just sit a lot and I'm not sleeping a lot. I don't know, it just feels like too much effort to do things anymore. I'm just tired of trying. I'm sure it'll pass sooner or later. Maybe it's just the time of year or something. I try to make myself do things but so far it's just the going to work parts that are suceeding. I'd better stop writing now, I'm even depressing myself.

Hello

Was wondering how you have been getting on and now i know.

Probably something like Don suggets or just something to get you out of the house and doing things.

Hope the New Year is as good as you want it to be.

 

[Noor]

Hi Everyone,

I have been chattting with tbon45, and I was telling him about this thread and Gil and he said:

"ok ive seen that post but never read it. its hard for me to do it but how do i ask for help and find some one to be a friend that wont hurt me agian?"

I suggested that he post his question here, and he asked if I would do it, so I am.

He is hurting, and alone. His divorce was final today, and he really has no support system. So I thought we could help him a bit.

Thanks,
Noor

 

[Gil_T2]

Hi Everyone,

I have been chattting with tbon45, and I was telling him about this thread and Gil and he said:

"ok ive seen that post but never read it. its hard for me to do it but how do i ask for help and find some one to be a friend that wont hurt me agian?"

I suggested that he post his question here, and he asked if I would do it, so I am.

He is hurting, and alone. His divorce was final today, and he really has no support system. So I thought we could help him a bit.

Thanks,
Noor

I'm not sure how long it will take to trust again (it took me the best part of 10 years) but as many on LIT know I do have a wonderful lady in my life who accepted me with all my health problems & at the moment again unwell with yet another bout of peritonitis for the 5th time in a year so there are good ppl out there) finding them will likely be hard but they are out there.

BANDIT read back through some of tbon45's posts & noted that the ex had planned to leave a month prior to the back op so I guess that she would have left regardless, sorry if this sounds harsh.

Life is to short to regret from personal experience, spend your time focusing on the postitive she ain't comming back, concentrate on you & your kids as they will be hurting even more than you are.

 

[Gil_T2]

Hope everyone is doing well so far this year.

(All comments below are just ramblings and are not to be taken seriously)

I'm doing ok, I guess. Wish I could get here more often. I have the time but I just can't seem to get the motavation to go online much anymore. I seem to be falling back into some of my old habits lately. I just sit a lot and I'm not sleeping a lot. I don't know, it just feels like too much effort to do things anymore. I'm just tired of trying. I'm sure it'll pass sooner or later. Maybe it's just the time of year or something. I try to make myself do things but so far it's just the going to work parts that are suceeding. I'd better stop writing now, I'm even depressing myself.

KIKI your got to kick this sadness, think of a subject you like & get out to the library & read every thing on the subject, I know walking is good but remember that you have trouble with feet pain in the cold so that might need to be put on hold till it warms up & remeber most of all you do have friends who care even if we are a long way away,



REMEMBER you are important.

 

[tbon45]

im trying real hardits just im alone and no one o talk to. my dog cant talk he just looks at me like im stupid for even trying to talk to him. what i wouldnt give just to be held and comforted by a women right now. nothing more just want to feel agian

 

[Lyrical Fool]

My update...

Well, I've made it through another year, though at times it seemed I wouldn't (Due to external forces, like that silly hurricane or pneumonia), and I'm still standing.

I'm doing all right, I suppose. I decided against counseling -- I just don't think I have the energy to weed through all the shite to find the prince(ss) amongst frogs in terms of the counselors out there. I am making progress, I think, it's just slow going.

My third anniversary of being separated from my husband (Just passed my 2nd anniversary of being divorced in December) is coming up Feb 1, and on one hand I'm so damned proud of how far I've come as far as getting my head on straight. On the other hand, I find myself thinking "Why aren't I further along?"

Self sabotage seems to be my forte at the moment. As in, "I know I'd be happier/more clear headed if I did < insert something here>." So I do it, start to feel better, and then stop. Every. Single. Time.

So yeah, persistance and follow through are something I definitely need work on.

Just a funky past few days. It'll pass.

(Happy New Year everyone !)

 

[Lyrical Fool]

im trying real hardits just im alone and no one o talk to. my dog cant talk he just looks at me like im stupid for even trying to talk to him. what i wouldnt give just to be held and comforted by a women right now. nothing more just want to feel agian

I haven't read through the entire thread since I last posted, but I saw that you made mention of a divorce just being finalized and how lonely it is.

I know that very well.

Have you thought about starting a journal? It's the best thing I've ever done. Seriously. It's a good place to start, and you can be honest in a way you really can't be anywhere else. No worries that you're being judged, or blamed, or cajoled. Like lancing a boil, you can just spew pain and hurt and rage until it's dulled.

And then, if you keep with it, you notice that suddenly you aren't so angry. You aren't so hurt. You may even begin to wonder if her leaving you is the best thing that could have happened...

You never know. Life's funny that way.

Hang in there. It DOES get better. The fact that I'm alive to write this post is proof of that.

 

[Don K Dyck]

KIKI your got to kick this sadness, think of a subject you like & get out to the library & read every thing on the subject, I know walking is good but remember that you have trouble with feet pain in the cold so that might need to be put on hold till it warms up & remeber most of all you do have friends who care even if we are a long way away,

REMEMBER you are important.

HI Kiki, hope your day is going well . . .

Do you think Gil's party dress is as smart as his notorious tutu??