How do I go about....

[1dude]

Brainwashed?

Just found this thread and I've just the opposite problem. My wife of 21 years is such roman catholic in bed its crazy. I cant get her to even talk about anything new, once a week quickie and thats it.... how do I ger her past this?

In the same boat. I think all religions use a form of brainwashing that causes a little voice to keep saying things are bad when we were designed to enjoy sex and have erotic thoughts and feelings. I always use France as an example. Nudity, sex, erotica, drinking alcohol are present to all at a very young age. Yet they have the lowest sex crime rate and lowest alcoholism rate of any western country! I also think women are affected more than men. My wife is in the vanilla spice group - ignore fantasies, don't masterbate, no nudity except in bed, always worry about others think, ...... Love her and would not leave her but sure wish for a little tobassco !

 

[southern_gal]

wow....reported!

Great, now I am going to be sent to the principal's office. There goes my weekend.

 

[imemkay]

Great, now I am going to be sent to the principal's office. There goes my weekend.

Hahaha. Not you silly! The spam that was littered all around.

 

[southern_gal]

Hahaha. Not you silly! The spam that was littered all around.

Fine. Thought I was in for a spanking. Can't win either way.

 

[Goey]

In the same boat. I think all religions use a form of brainwashing that causes a little voice to keep saying things are bad when we were designed to enjoy sex and have erotic thoughts and feelings. I always use France as an example. Nudity, sex, erotica, drinking alcohol are present to all at a very young age. Yet they have the lowest sex crime rate and lowest alcoholism rate of any western country! I also think women are affected more than men. My wife is in the vanilla spice group - ignore fantasies, don't masterbate, no nudity except in bed, always worry about others think, ...... Love her and would not leave her but sure wish for a little tobassco !

If she's been like this all her life, and it's a religious thing I'd say you were out of luck in all honesty.

 

[Riles]

Hopefully it will be a fun journey. I am by no means a writer but I have enjoyed reading what lots of people have written on Lit. I find myself looking back a lot lately and wondering why I have never taken many chances or even tried new things more often. For the free spirits of the world it seems so easy. If only. But who knows. Maybe? Someday?

This struck a chord with me.

I think we achieve our awareness of ourselves on different levels at vastly different times, and who's to say why some levels are left to later years.

Sexual awareness is a fun one though, and I applaud and encourage you to explore yours in as many ways as possible - this site and the good people who make it what it is (not the ones who try to break others down) can help you in this journey - knowingly or not.

Simply by participating in thoughtful replies to topics that you are curious about will have you expanding your repertoire, eager for new experiences. Embrace them! It's the best advice I can give you.

 

[southern_gal]

This struck a chord with me.

I think we achieve our awareness of ourselves on different levels at vastly different times, and who's to say why some levels are left to later years.

Sexual awareness is a fun one though, and I applaud and encourage you to explore yours in as many ways as possible - this site and the good people who make it what it is (not the ones who try to break others down) can help you in this journey - knowingly or not.

Simply by participating in thoughtful replies to topics that you are curious about will have you expanding your repertoire, eager for new experiences. Embrace them! It's the best advice I can give you.

You summed it up with me when you said some people help - knowingly or not. I have enjoyed reading the ideas and comments from people that have been where I want to go and have experience from doing things that I have only read about. I wasn't raised in the little house on the prairie but I have, for the most part of my adult life, chosen to take a very conservative outward approach to most everything. Inside the parts of my mind that I chose to keep private, it's a different story. Self confidence helps but it cannot be bought at walmart. Trust me I have looked. I am lucky to have a good man and unlucky that his job takes him away far too much. This site however has been like a series of stepping stones. I have loved the stories, read oodles of threads, and now am participating. It has had a ripple effect in my approach to sex between my husband and I and also has had a positive effect on my own sexuality. To all that make this site what it is, from those of us that are far more silent than most, thank you.

 

[1dude]

If she's been like this all her life, and it's a religious thing I'd say you were out of luck in all honesty.

Gee, thanks. Doesn't change my feelings for her though.

 

[bigbritish]

hey i'm a guy but i just wrote an erotic story for the first time last night. i'm embarrassed b/c it sounds hardly sexual at all haha! but it was definitely cathartic in a completely sexual kind of way

EDIT: we weren't particularly religious growing up, but my mother's family is definitely Catholic haha! being repressed is unfortunately in the blood!

 

[southern_gal]

hey i'm a guy but i just wrote an erotic story for the first time last night. i'm embarrassed b/c it sounds hardly sexual at all haha! but it was definitely cathartic in a completely sexual kind of way

EDIT: we weren't particularly religious growing up, but my mother's family is definitely Catholic haha! being repressed is unfortunately in the blood!

I have read a zillion (really, a zillion) erotic stories and I too have tried my had at writing them. As a writer I have found that I am best at reading. Just doesn't come out right. Ever. Sometimes I find that I also tend to copy the last story in theme or details that I really like and even though it was not intentional, that just is not acceptable so I gave up trying to write them and stick to reading them.