I'm totally afraid of rejection, so I don't dare approach any of my friends. I don't want to go to lesbian bars because I've heard lesbians don't take too kindly to "recreational" (for lack of a better word) lesbians. Any tips? I would like to hear from other bi-sexual women and their experiences!
How do I find other bi-sexual women?
- Thread starter Janna
- Start date
Showtime
Hi Janna,
It is easy to find bi-sexual women in your area. Use a search engine like http://www.Dogpile.com. Put in the "search" area
a request like; Nearbytown+Swingers+sex. Pick out a swinger site. They will have sections like; "Men searching for women,"" Men searching for couples," "Couples looking for women," and "Women looking for Women."
All these posts have e-mail address to write to the people who have posted the ads. When you trade e-mails with someone, you will get a feel as to if they would be of interest to you to meet in person. Most will trade pictures with you. Notice what is in the background, their grammer, and exactly where they live. Use Yahoo maps to bring up their area.
Hi Janna,
It is easy to find bi-sexual women in your area. Use a search engine like http://www.Dogpile.com. Put in the "search" area
a request like; Nearbytown+Swingers+sex. Pick out a swinger site. They will have sections like; "Men searching for women,"" Men searching for couples," "Couples looking for women," and "Women looking for Women."
All these posts have e-mail address to write to the people who have posted the ads. When you trade e-mails with someone, you will get a feel as to if they would be of interest to you to meet in person. Most will trade pictures with you. Notice what is in the background, their grammer, and exactly where they live. Use Yahoo maps to bring up their area.
dancinvixen
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2000
- Posts
- 595
I have been using Adultfriendfinder. The address is adultfriendfinder.com--- It's a really cool site.
You mighht use a ploy I've used in several of my stories. If you have a friend who you might be interested in, then casually bring up the subject of woman liking women. You can say you saw it on TV or in a movie and ask her what she thinks of it.
Most women have thought about it at some time or other. If she throws a fit and screams and rants, then she's probably not up to it. If she sounds interested and warms to the subject, you can then play it by ear.
My lady friend and I came together because of her grief over the loss of her husband (I was comforting her.) Then we decided we had wasted a lot of years by not feeling each other out earlier!
Most women have thought about it at some time or other. If she throws a fit and screams and rants, then she's probably not up to it. If she sounds interested and warms to the subject, you can then play it by ear.
My lady friend and I came together because of her grief over the loss of her husband (I was comforting her.) Then we decided we had wasted a lot of years by not feeling each other out earlier!
For Janna....
Janna,
It is not nearly as difficult as one would think. I often frequent what is known in the local circles as a 'mixed bar' in a nearby town. I usually attend with a female friend who has just recently developed a taste for her own sisters in gender. We have never found any females in the place who, once involved in a conversation, have been rude or out-of-hand with their comments when she has asked if they are at all interested in a physical connection with her. Those who are not interested for one reason or another have always been at least polite in their rejections and she always had a friend to return to (me) if she was just put off by too many in one evening. Usually, she managed to find at least one woman who would engage her in serious conversation -- not always resulting in leaving together -- and I could make my excuses and leave.
My simple advice? Find someone you can trust (male or female) and begin to check out the nearby locales for women who may very well be in the same situation you are. Not all women out there are experienced. Everyone has to begin somewhere.
Edward
Janna,
It is not nearly as difficult as one would think. I often frequent what is known in the local circles as a 'mixed bar' in a nearby town. I usually attend with a female friend who has just recently developed a taste for her own sisters in gender. We have never found any females in the place who, once involved in a conversation, have been rude or out-of-hand with their comments when she has asked if they are at all interested in a physical connection with her. Those who are not interested for one reason or another have always been at least polite in their rejections and she always had a friend to return to (me) if she was just put off by too many in one evening. Usually, she managed to find at least one woman who would engage her in serious conversation -- not always resulting in leaving together -- and I could make my excuses and leave.
My simple advice? Find someone you can trust (male or female) and begin to check out the nearby locales for women who may very well be in the same situation you are. Not all women out there are experienced. Everyone has to begin somewhere.
Edward
morgainefairy
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2000
- Posts
- 161
janna, endlessly-- why don't we all hook up?
wouldn't it be great if it were really that easy?
i think the site suggestions are good, but personally i don't want to find someone on the net.
do you have any gay male friends? i find they have an "eye" for this sort of thing and are very encouraging. they can spot a bi female quicker than i any day!
wouldn't it be great if it were really that easy?
i think the site suggestions are good, but personally i don't want to find someone on the net.
do you have any gay male friends? i find they have an "eye" for this sort of thing and are very encouraging. they can spot a bi female quicker than i any day!
IronBoxBitch
Virgin
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2000
- Posts
- 4
I feel your pain! Janna, where do you live? I've been going crazy for lack of decent female companionship. Straight girls freak if I hit on them, and lesbians get mad because I'm not a full-time dyke. I guess the best I can do for now is watch the scrambled porn channels after midnight. *Sigh*
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2000
- Posts
- 13,101
Agggh! Me too.
I have the same problem. http://www.bisexual.org is a pretty decent place to look, and Adult Friend Finder isn't bad either.
I did make a friend at a local craft store. I make jewelry and was wearing my art when I noticed the cashier looking. I leaned forward, playing with the pendant and asked her for her honest opinion. Are the colors right, design, etc. I made sure to ask what she thought of the chain length, too long or should I have the pendant lower. Perfectly innocent and I learned her comfort level around a female body. Now we discuss every new piece and are getting to know each other quite well.
I have the same problem. http://www.bisexual.org is a pretty decent place to look, and Adult Friend Finder isn't bad either.
I did make a friend at a local craft store. I make jewelry and was wearing my art when I noticed the cashier looking. I leaned forward, playing with the pendant and asked her for her honest opinion. Are the colors right, design, etc. I made sure to ask what she thought of the chain length, too long or should I have the pendant lower. Perfectly innocent and I learned her comfort level around a female body. Now we discuss every new piece and are getting to know each other quite well.
Lethal_beauty_27
Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 12, 2000
- Posts
- 127
well tell me about yourself and maybe you and one of my 2 of my friends can hit it off. if not tell us how the search goes
Lethal
Lethal
Endlessly
Corrupted Innocent
- Joined
- Dec 26, 1999
- Posts
- 1,267
Janna, how has your search been going? I'm curious to see if any of the techniques here have worked for you.
I'd go for the 'find a trusted friend' bit, except for one little problem: none of my friends know I have bi-curious leanings. My best friend and first crush thinks it's not only an abomination to God, but 'just plain nasty.' *sigh*
Only one person (besides my ex-boyfriend) that I know IRL: knows-- well, sort of. I told him in an E-mail since I couldn't get the courage to tell him face-to-face, and I've not yet gotten a reply.
I'd go for the 'find a trusted friend' bit, except for one little problem: none of my friends know I have bi-curious leanings. My best friend and first crush thinks it's not only an abomination to God, but 'just plain nasty.' *sigh*
Only one person (besides my ex-boyfriend) that I know IRL: knows-- well, sort of. I told him in an E-mail since I couldn't get the courage to tell him face-to-face, and I've not yet gotten a reply.
Spell_Dame
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2000
- Posts
- 16
I Am Not Alone
Well it's nice to know I'm not alone. I've tried going to the local bars and I haven't had any luck. Nearly all the women I've met were lesbian and they ran away screaming when I professed my bisexuality. I'm not a promiscuous woman, but for some reason when people think bisexual, they think slut. Right now I'm not even looking for a relationship, I'd settle for a friend who understands my position. I'll probably remain a closeted bi chick until I find some local friends. I think I'm going to place an ad on one of these websites and in the personals of my local paper. Until I do find a friend, or a lover, or whatever, I'll keep busy posting and wishing you all well in your endeavors.
Well it's nice to know I'm not alone. I've tried going to the local bars and I haven't had any luck. Nearly all the women I've met were lesbian and they ran away screaming when I professed my bisexuality. I'm not a promiscuous woman, but for some reason when people think bisexual, they think slut. Right now I'm not even looking for a relationship, I'd settle for a friend who understands my position. I'll probably remain a closeted bi chick until I find some local friends. I think I'm going to place an ad on one of these websites and in the personals of my local paper. Until I do find a friend, or a lover, or whatever, I'll keep busy posting and wishing you all well in your endeavors.
Never
Come What May
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2000
- Posts
- 23,234
Ahem. I remember the scrambled porn channel. Sing it with me now, 'Chica-chica bow-wow. Chica-chica bow-wow.'
Hmmm Full-time dyke. That reminds me of a Dolly Partan song. "Dykin' Nine to Five ain't no way to make a livin'.
You can loose yourself. (It's all takin' and no givin')"
Tell them you just screw men on the weekends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~What does it all mean?
Bonnie Wee Lassie
Sweet Beaver
- Joined
- Dec 13, 1999
- Posts
- 1,442
Lethal_beauty_27 said:well tell me about yourself and maybe you and one of my 2 of my friends can hit it off. if not tell us how the search goes
I hope you are not talking about me! I am one of your friends. Are you trying to set me up now?
Bonnie
RisiaSkye
Artistic
- Joined
- May 1, 2000
- Posts
- 4,387
Unthreatening Places
Sometimes it's the most unexpected places--just like anyone's hookup. Depending on your area, college campuses tend to have les/bi/gay/trans associations which offer not only support, but a place to at least meet people in the same (metaphorical, of course) boat. That way, you get a support group, potentially meet new friends who have the same struggles and different versions of the same stories to share, PLUS you can get the inside track on good local places to meet people. Has worked for me on two different college campuses, in two states.
Good Luck!
Sometimes it's the most unexpected places--just like anyone's hookup. Depending on your area, college campuses tend to have les/bi/gay/trans associations which offer not only support, but a place to at least meet people in the same (metaphorical, of course) boat. That way, you get a support group, potentially meet new friends who have the same struggles and different versions of the same stories to share, PLUS you can get the inside track on good local places to meet people. Has worked for me on two different college campuses, in two states.
Good Luck!
Thanks for all the ideas! Some of your responses have been pretty funny! To Risia...I'm 42 so I don't think I'll check out the "college scene", but thanks anyway! I wish there was a place for "older" gals to go. Bonnie, don't worry.....you live a LONNNNNNNG way from where I live!! Whit....I haven't tried your idea but I will real soon, with my husband!! He would love to be the one to find a woman for me.....but I'd rather do it myself! I think he would proably have other ideas if you know what I mean!
I've gone to adultfriendfinder and to dogpile and just looked around, but I don't want to go that route! Ha! It was nice to see the ads with pictures of women in my area! Maybe I will run into one of them sometime!!! And to all the other gals that are in the same "boat" as I.....keep me posted on how things go for you!!
, but thanks anyway! I wish there was a place for "older" gals to go. Bonnie, don't worry.....you live a LONNNNNNNG way from where I live!! Whit....I haven't tried your idea but I will real soon, with my husband!! He would love to be the one to find a woman for me.....but I'd rather do it myself! I think he would proably have other ideas if you know what I mean!I've gone to adultfriendfinder and to dogpile and just looked around, but I don't want to go that route! Ha! It was nice to see the ads with pictures of women in my area! Maybe I will run into one of them sometime!!! And to all the other gals that are in the same "boat" as I.....keep me posted on how things go for you!!
RisiaSkye
Artistic
- Joined
- May 1, 2000
- Posts
- 4,387
Clarification
Actually, though the group are usually easiest to find on college campuses, that doesn't mean that everyone involved is 18-25. The group on my campus has members from 18-60..there are professors, graduate students, and community members who come to LBGTA to meet people and discuss their somewhat (societally) unusual circumstances. Don't let the location fool you, it's not all kids.
Actually, though the group are usually easiest to find on college campuses, that doesn't mean that everyone involved is 18-25. The group on my campus has members from 18-60..there are professors, graduate students, and community members who come to LBGTA to meet people and discuss their somewhat (societally) unusual circumstances. Don't let the location fool you, it's not all kids.
