Hey Hazey

[RosevilleCAguy]

Nice AV.

But if I find you coming down my chimney dressed like that I will have to shoot you.

Nothing personal, just exercising my second amendment right to keep and bear arms and shoot jokers dressed in purple Santa hats in my fireplace.

 

[Purple Haze]

Ha!

I wouldn't come down your chimney anyway,

I'm not Santa, I'm a pussy-licking elf.

I hang outside of Target, ringing my bell,

When the opportunity arises, I hook onto her bumper.

Me and my magic snowboard arrive safely everytime.

After hours of enchanted cunnilingus, I honor tradition by singing carols and showing her the Yule Log.

Ho, ho, ho!

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Ho, ho, ho?

Hmm, while impressed by your stamina, I would have thought that a handsome purple fellow such as yourself would have no need to pay to do the dirty.

 

[Purple Haze]

No pay, donations are accepted though.

All proceeds go to benefit the "Tossed Dwarf Foundation"

What a festive doing that will be...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Is tossed dwarf like tossed salad, or more like tossed cookies?

 

[Purple Haze]

Neither.

Horny little fuckers are their own entity,

You choose your intended target, pick up a stiff one,

Ready,

Aim,

It's a lot like lawn darts, really...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Neither.

Horny little fuckers are their own entity,

You choose your intended target, pick up a stiff one,

Ready,

Aim,

It's a lot like lawn darts, really...

Stiff as in "drunk" or stiff as in "aroused"

If the latter, what does the player grab them by?

Forgive please English incorrect.

 

[Purple Haze]

The grip technique is much like a bowling ball, except there's only one hole.

You try to get the little stiffy into a reindeer, (they don't much care for this)

There's gambling, and eggnog too...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

The grip technique is much like a bowling ball, except there's only one hole.

You try to get the little stiffy into a reindeer, (they don't much care for this)

There's gambling, and eggnog too...

Can I get the concession to sell rubber gloves to the contestants?

I always thought eggnog WAS a gamble.

It would also appear that you would be limited to using only male dwarves as sporting equipment. This is bad. Look at the crap Augusta National is going through right now as a result of thier 'male only' policy.

Of course, using female dwarves might creat an unfair advantage as the tosser would then have a better grip?

 

[Purple Haze]

I'm not allowed to go into any detail on the female dwarf activities, all I can say is, yes there is a better grip advantage, especially in the relay competition, and the "dunk and sniff".



The reindeer are equal opportunity, by the way...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

I'm not allowed to go into any detail on the female dwarf activities, all I can say is, yes there is a better grip advantage, especially in the relay competition, and the "dunk and sniff".

The reindeer are equal opportunity, by the way...

Does the re-lay competition relate back to the "Ho, ho, ho" comment made earlier in the thread?

 

[Purple Haze]

I'm not telling.

You should bring rubber gloves though,

you'll want them for the "blind-folded grab bag"

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Can't I just be a color commentator or play-by-play analyst?

 

[Purple Haze]

Sure, you can be up in the booth with glamorilla...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Glam would be disappointed. I'm straight, and probably even more important, I'm really REALLY ugly.

Can I be the replay official?

 

[Purple Haze]

You asked for it.

Watch out for Melba, she's quite the competitor...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

You asked for it.

Watch out for Melba, she's quite the competitor...

I propose a toast to Melba the competitor.............

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

And her peaches, of course. Can't forget about those.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Purple Haze]

Your chimney's a little snug, I think I'll be here for a while...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Dammit Hazey, Out of her chimney and back to the dwarf tossing.

Will this be under the Austrailian rules?

 

[Desert Amazon]