Gay, bi, Lesbian, CD, TG parents, I have questions.

[RazorSplitClit]

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[CuriousNiceGuy]

Wow, that must be tough..
Anyway, I am not a parent or anything next to it, I'm just 19(like you it seems..).
I know you wanna see your daughter and Molly does too, but do you think it will be easy to leave when you see her?..
Her foster parents want to make Skarlett believe that they are her biological parents which, for me, sounds totally unfair to the kid.Her life will be based on a lie?..I don't know you, but since you wanna see your daughter you couldn't be that bad..What turns you on has nothing to do with the kid, so their telling you that Skarlett is better off without meeting her biological parents with all those 'weird hobbies' was just to make you feel bad and give up on seeing her.
I do think that you should see her, I know I would like to have seen my daughter if I was in your shoes, but you have to think the results.
Seeing your adopted daughter may not be the best thing, especially for the mother, as you'll both get sentimental and maybe Molly will not want to leave Skarlett.I dunno..Just be sure of how well you could handle seeing your daughter and then just leaving..
Hang in there, man..And good luck whatever you do.

 

[RazorSplitClit]

I know I can never make a good father, and I think Molly knows she can't support a child. Neither of us have dependable jobs, or the time. I think that knowledge will make it easier to leave.

 

[ravenmx]

I am a parent with four grown boys that all know I am gay.

Three of the boys are my partners of 11 years and one is mine. Three are 19 and 23 and mine is 17.

Yes they all turned out fine. The oldest does not talk with his mom much at all due to her orientation but is a well established child who already owns a house and is a partner in a business. The two 19 year olds visit their mother all the time and bring their girlfriends over all the time, who do know as well their mother is a lesbian. They both have great jobs as well.

My son is 17 and I am having problems with him, but not due to my orientation. He wants to do what he wants, when he wants and wants to hang out with his friends all the time and miss school.

As far as not seeing your daughter due to your being a screwup a few years back, well most teenagers screw up one way or another. It is just part of growing up and finding yourself. Whats important is if now at almost 20 your have realized your mistakes and are making strides to make yourself a better person.

I was a major screwup when I was a teenager, now 20 years later I am like the poster child for honesty, respect and responsiblity. See how things can change over time if you put some effort into it?

As far as not seeing your daughter because your a cross dresser, well, kids adapt and deal with these types of issues on their own. My four boys didn't tell anyone in grade school or high school about "their" parents. Then one day the two nineteen year olds were telling their long time girlfriends about us because they wanted them to meet us.

The point is kids will deal with it as they feel comfortable as long as you are there to talk with them and not push your oreintation or afflictions on them. Let them decide when and who to tell and they will be alot more comfortable with it. But on the flip side, sometimes in doing this even some children will never be completly comfortable with it. If this is the case you still need to love and comfort them in that decision as well.

As a parent I would like to think your mom doesn't want you to see your daughter because of the pain it may cause you when you do. You may realize that all the sudden father instict has kicked in and you cannot live without her and find yourself in a broil you may not win. Or you may find out you don't want anything to do with your daughter and then feel guilty and fall into depression or something. Also at three years old your daughter may not understand who you are and why you are there. If you chose the latter and decided not to have anything to with her she may remember that as she gets older, may find out you were her biological daughter and have a hard time wondering why you were in her life so briefly. This is probably a long shot but children can remember things as toddlers when they get older. I know as adults sometimes we don't believe that but I can tell you my son will say things to me out of the blue and I am like what, that happened when you were four how do you remember that.

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to try and answer most of your questions

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh, man my heart goes out to you. Despite your young age, the instincts of parenthood are incredibly powerful and this modern society never seems to take them into account.

I wish I could give you happier advice.
But you have to stay away from the baby, unless you can, somehow, force an agreement with her new parents.
First of all, they are not her foster parents, they are her real parents- the only ones that she knows. They changed her diapers, fed her, discipline her, have all the responsibilities of raising her. They have bonded with her and they love her as much as you ever possibly could. This is about morals- an unfashionable word these days, but you would be doing a great deal of wrong if you followed your desire here.
Morally, you need to let them have their life with their child.

And totally different from morals is legality;
if you defied the law and went to see the baby, you would be in for a brutal time. The laws are pretty unforgiving about this. And because of your identity, you would not receive much sympathy from the court.
The law HAS to be hard about this, for two reasons. One is the situation you're in right now, and you aren't the only one! I know many an adoptive mother who has nightmares that the birth parent comes and takes her baby. I mean- nightmares, as in waking up crying and shaking.
And the other is because it's the right's only defence against abortion. Jed Bush offered to find adoptive parents for every single baby born in Florida, once- of course that's absolutely impossible! But they would like to try.
Regardless, you're in between a rock and a hard place, legally.


Here's some consolation; This baby is NOT their natural child, no matter what they want her to think. Blood will out- and the kid will turn out to be a queer as fuck-all, you can bet! And she will want to know the truth. And she may very well start looking for you, about fifteen years from now. So be prepared.
This sounds so old-fashioned to say, I can't believe it's coming out of my mouth- but, think about who you would like your daughter to meet, in the future, and start working your way to becoming him. I'm not saying change your transvestitism, but... responsibility, strength of will... all those things that make a grownup. It's something to think about. Maybe it's insulting of me to give you this advice, if so I apologise. But- I'm queer myself, and a mother of two. I'm kind of coming from somewhere I know, here!
All I can give you is cyber ((((hugs))) I wish I could do more!

 

[RazorSplitClit]

But you have to stay away from the baby, unless you can, somehow, force an agreement with her new parents.
First of all, they are not her foster parents, they are her real parents- the only ones that she knows. They changed her diapers, fed her, discipline her, have all the responsibilities of raising her. They have bonded with her and they love her as much as you ever possibly could. This is about morals- an unfashionable word these days, but you would be doing a great deal of wrong if you followed your desire here.
Morally, you need to let them have their life with their child.

Here's some consolation; This baby is NOT their natural child, no matter what they want her to think. Blood will out- and the kid will turn out to be a queer as fuck-all, you can bet! And she will want to know the truth. And she may very well start looking for you, about fifteen years from now. So be prepared.
This sounds so old-fashioned to say, I can't believe it's coming out of my mouth- but, think about who you would like your daughter to meet, in the future, and start working your way to becoming him. I'm not saying change your transvestitism, but... responsibility, strength of will... all those things that make a grownup. It's something to think about. Maybe it's insulting of me to give you this advice, if so I apologise. But- I'm queer myself, and a mother of two. I'm kind of coming from somewhere I know, here!
All I can give you is cyber ((((hugs))) I wish I could do more!

Blood will out- and the kid will turn out to be a queer as fuck-all, you can bet!
I don't know if I believe being bisexuality is genetic, or transvestisism.

Even if she does discover she was adopted, I'm afraid she might hate me for never attempting to contact her, or she just won't care.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Blood will out- and the kid will turn out to be a queer as fuck-all, you can bet!
I don't know if I believe being bisexuality is genetic, or transvestisism.

Even if she does discover she was adopted, I'm afraid she might hate me for never attempting to contact her, or she just won't care.

maybe, maybe not. But, in my experience, I've known adults who figured out they were adopted. And their birth parent turned out to share more of their views than they ever expected. This includes several transgenered people; one FTM I know, found out that her B.M. was a butch dyke... Her mother told her she would have tried for the operation if it had been available to her back then.
Your daughter's queerness might not manifest itself in the same way yours does, but it's a complex combination of IQ, personality, sense of self. it will show up- it's Nature plus Nurture, you know?

And, sadly, some forms of bi-polarism are genetically inheritable.

Anyway, I don't think she'll hate you, necessarily. Especially if she understands that you wanted to give her the best chances for happiness that you possibly could.

 

[RazorSplitClit]

And, sadly, some forms of bi-polarism are genetically inheritable.


I know, Molly has been medicated since she was 12 for it.
I hope at least Skarlett doesn't have the same problems her mother did growing up.