Exploring with women

[plesmone]

The focus of sex with a man is his cock. When he gets it up, he's ready to go and after he's done -- boy is he done! If the goal were not cock penetration, then wouldn't the focus change to giving pleasure?

The focus of sex with a woman is the careful, slow, intensifying arousal to climax, which is repeated multiple times.

Question is how do you find another woman who is willing and able not only to give wonderful pleasure, but also be discreet?

 

[dizzylia]

Question is how do you find another woman who is willing and able not only to give wonderful pleasure, but also be discreet?

Discreet in what way?

(just curious)

 

[dizzylia]

Re: have you seen "Kissing Jessica Stein"?

very funny and smart movie
about this subject

it may not get you over the hump.
so to speak,
but at least you'll get a few laughs
about it

Thank you!!! I watched Kissing Jessica Stein last night and absolutely loved it. It's so hilarious, even if I didn't like the ending that much. But the "double sexy" scene in the restaurant caused shivers down my spine. In a good way.

 

[plesmone]

Discreet in what way?

(just curious)

I'm not unhappy in my marriage. It's just that every minuet seems to be taken up by someone else and even as busy as life is, it seems to go on very much the same day after day. Wouldn’t it be something to just break out of the mode for a change and do something different and exciting?

I want to be stimulated to arousal in a different and exciting way. I want to be held like I’ve never been held before. I want to be passive and experience new feelings and be able to be dominant and create the same excitement in someone else. BUT this cannot be an obvious part of my life. It needs to be a small part – a secrete part. What good is the excitement of it all if you chance loosing everything? As ordinary as life can sometimes be, it is still reality. Discreet: someone who doesn’t want to jeopardize her reality but wants to guardedly expand her reality.

 

[Curious_Fem]

I'm not unhappy in my marriage. It's just that every minuet seems to be taken up by someone else and even as busy as life is, it seems to go on very much the same day after day. Wouldn’t it be something to just break out of the mode for a change and do something different and exciting?

I want to be stimulated to arousal in a different and exciting way. I want to be held like I’ve never been held before. I want to be passive and experience new feelings and be able to be dominant and create the same excitement in someone else. BUT this cannot be an obvious part of my life. It needs to be a small part – a secrete part. What good is the excitement of it all if you chance loosing everything? As ordinary as life can sometimes be, it is still reality. Discreet: someone who doesn’t want to jeopardize her reality but wants to guardedly expand her reality.

Wow....very nicely put. I am also married, somewhat happily at times. You described exactly what I'm feeling as well. I need all the excitement and passion that I'm not getting at home without it disrupting my "real" life.

You said it all right here... "Discreet: someone who doesn't want to jeopardize her reality but wants to guardedly expand her reality." EXACTLY!

 

[KHAN-E]

Wow....very nicely put. I am also married, somewhat happily at times. You described exactly what I'm feeling as well. I need all the excitement and passion that I'm not getting at home without it disrupting my "real" life.

You said it all right here... "Discreet: someone who doesn't want to jeopardize her reality but wants to guardedly expand her reality." EXACTLY!

For many of us, that is exactly what we are doing on Lit. We are exploring new horizons (at least in our minds) without the peril of "discovery".

 

[american_cuckold]

one of the very fun things about the net is the way in which we can expose the "real" side of our sexuality in a way that we can not in our work-a-day world.. that is, i can tell you all that I am a very happy cuckold.. but i could not stand up in a staff meeting at work and do the same...



what i am saying is we can be ourselves safely, which is much more interesting than faking it

a_c

 

[Dr. B Evil]

one of the very fun things about the net is the way in which we can expose the "real" side of our sexuality in a way that we can not in our work-a-day world.. that is, i can tell you all that I am a very happy cuckold.. but i could not stand up in a staff meeting at work and do the same...



what i am saying is we can be ourselves safely, which is much more interesting than faking it

a_c

Very well put AC, although I am a rarity that would appreciate you doing so in a business meeting, too!

 

[KHAN-E]

one of the very fun things about the net is the way in which we can expose the "real" side of our sexuality in a way that we can not in our work-a-day world.. that is, i can tell you all that I am a very happy cuckold.. but i could not stand up in a staff meeting at work and do the same...



what i am saying is we can be ourselves safely, which is much more interesting than faking it

a_c

Well said! It is true that on Lit. we can feel free to be totally open, to explore areas of our personalities and libidos that we would be reluctant to explore in our tightly woven "real-world" lives. In that regard, Lit. is even MORE real than our daily routines.

 

[american_cuckold]

Dr B Evil

i very much find myself wanting to make such a public declaration...

alas.. i only have this for now

a_c

 

[american_cuckold]

Kahn-E

that is exactly right



a_c

 

[dizzylia]

I want to be stimulated to arousal in a different and exciting way. I want to be held like I’ve never been held before. I want to be passive and experience new feelings and be able to be dominant and create the same excitement in someone else. BUT this cannot be an obvious part of my life. It needs to be a small part – a secrete part. What good is the excitement of it all if you chance loosing everything? As ordinary as life can sometimes be, it is still reality. Discreet: someone who doesn’t want to jeopardize her reality but wants to guardedly expand her reality.

Ah, that is what I figured you meant, but thank you so much for the clarification.

It would be very hard indeed to find someone like that, I would think, but possible. Granted, while the online world is a somewhat safer way for such exploration and release, it's never quite the same. In the real world it's hard enough to do so when single, but when in a relationship you have to ask yourself, how much are you willing to risk? Could you find that at home?

I imagine the answers are different for everyone.

 

[plesmone]

Why isn't there a "vacation" place where one can go, which would allow leaving 'reality' at check-in for a short while?

It makes me think of a resort where no one has names, where a relaxing spa treatment is more sensual than refreshing. Pleasure and unabated sexual fulfillment are the key phrases and where the service is outstanding!

I’d like to be able to walk up to a woman I find attracted to and say. “Excuse me. I find you very attractive. Would you like to go up to my room and make love? I’d like very much to spend a couple of hours exploring your body, giving you the kind of pleasure only another woman can give by my touch, caress, and kiss."

 

[KHAN-E]

Why isn't there a "vacation" place where one can go, which would allow leaving 'reality' at check-in for a short while?

It makes me think of a resort where no one has names, where a relaxing spa treatment is more sensual than refreshing. Pleasure and unabated sexual fulfillment are the key phrases and where the service is outstanding!

I’d like to be able to walk up to a woman I find attracted to and say. “Excuse me. I find you very attractive. Would you like to go up to my room and make love? I’d like very much to spend a couple of hours exploring your body, giving you the kind of pleasure only another woman can give by my touch, caress, and kiss."

Can I get a reservation?! Or a job there?!?! I'd LUV to find such a place of total freedom!

Anybody know of any?!?!

Being single, I have the luxury of trying just such an approach at times. But one must be careful. Living in a tiny Midwestern town I must practice some degree of discretion. I really wish people would just mind their own business, instead of minding mine. (Wasn't that an old Hank Williams song?)

 

[Stratae]

Searching

Hi ladies!

I was so excited to see this thread... I am a very sexual very happily married woman. "This" all began when my hubby and I started talking about a threesome (FFM). Yes, the FFM was initially his fantasy and has slowly become my curiosity. Now, I am very very curious. I want to experience a woman with and without my husband. He is completly supportive of this. But, finding a woman has been really hard. I feel like I'm stumbling over shoes that are too big - where do I go, what do I say, how do I begin?

 

[plesmone]

Can I get a reservation?! Or a job there?!?! I'd LUV to find such a place of total freedom!

Anybody know of any?!?!

Being single, I have the luxury of trying just such an approach at times. But one must be careful. Living in a tiny Midwestern town I must practice some degree of discretion. I really wish people would just mind their own business, instead of minding mine. (Wasn't that an old Hank Williams song?)

Job? Why not own the place. KHAN-E - you sound like a woman I could go into business with!

 

[dizzylia]

*giggles at plesmore and KHAN-E*

A place like that would be heaven, even if it had to be in short doses. Man, though, I could totally work at a place like that!

And to Stratae, welcome! I wish I knew how to help you out, but I'm really not sure. Boards like the ones here are probably a nice way, but for me there would be pretty big trust issues. It would take a heck of a long time of getting to know someone both through e-mail and in person before I actually felt safe doing anything.

dizzylia <-- big wuss

 

[plesmone]

Why are you drawn towards women rather than men? Does it change how you see yourself?

Let's say that were such a place where 'reality' could be placed aside for a month or so. A resort where no one has names, where a relaxing spa treatment is more sensual than refreshing and where pleasure and unabated sexual fulfillment are the key phrases and where the service is outstanding.


If you wanted to apply for work there - what would you be willing to do and how would that change you?

 

[KHAN-E]

Job? Why not own the place. KHAN-E - you sound like a woman I could go into business with!

That would be fun! But where would we get investment capital? And a community to allow such a "business" to operate?

 

[KHAN-E]

Re: *giggles at plesmore and KHAN-E*

A place like that would be heaven, even if it had to be in short doses. Man, though, I could totally work at a place like that!

And to Stratae, welcome! I wish I knew how to help you out, but I'm really not sure. Boards like the ones here are probably a nice way, but for me there would be pretty big trust issues. It would take a heck of a long time of getting to know someone both through e-mail and in person before I actually felt safe doing anything.

dizzylia <-- big wuss

Actually, dizzy, I think you are being very wise. Unfortunately in our present society, there are many predators out and about. Some want to prey on you sexually. Others want to prey on you financially. Some even want to steal your identity for gain. One cannot be too careful.

And, certainly, for sexual pleasure to be optimum, there must be tremendous trust between the participants. I would urge women to take it slow in finding a partner. Develop a relationship. Then head for the sex.

 

[plesmone]

That would be fun! But where would we get investment capital? And a community to allow such a "business" to operate?

Since there is no capital and there is no place, consider this:
In your sensual imagination, what exactly would you do if there were such a place? What would you do?

Who knows, maybe this is a good story line.

 

[dizzylia]

Re: Re: Exploring with women

Let's say that were such a place where 'reality' could be placed aside for a month or so. A resort where no one has names, where a relaxing spa treatment is more sensual than refreshing and where pleasure and unabated sexual fulfillment are the key phrases and where the service is outstanding.


If you wanted to apply for work there - what would you be willing to do and how would that change you?

That's a good question, of course. I would probably start as some waitress or massage therapist, then gradually move onward and upward from there. In time I would probably feel more comfortable with myself, with who I am. In today's "real" society, we're often not allowed to be totally open with people, that whole "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" philosophy. My question is, if you ask or tell, why should it matter??

 

[dizzylia]

Since there is no capital and there is no place, consider this:
In your sensual imagination, what exactly would you do if there were such a place? What would you do?

Who knows, maybe this is a good story line.

That sounds like a winner to me!!

 

[plesmone]

Re: Re: Re: Exploring with women

That's a good question, of course. I would probably start as some waitress or massage therapist, then gradually move onward and upward from there. In time I would probably feel more comfortable with myself, with who I am. In today's "real" society, we're often not allowed to be totally open with people, that whole "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" philosophy. My question is, if you ask or tell, why should it matter??

Even in our fantasies, we are not disjointed from others. On the one side: deep inside we really do want to be asked and be able to talk to someone who will listen. On the other side: we try to satisfy that intimacy without any risk taking. And that is a balancing act, which is hard to maintain.

When life gets so busy that even the most intimate person in our lives forgets to ask, we start searching for someone – anyone, who will care. Although there are illicit affairs for some, for most the search becomes a world of erotic/romantic fantasies in daydreams and computer screens.

A long way to say yes, I guess it does matter.

 

[dizzylia]

Even in our fantasies, we are not disjointed from others. On the one side: deep inside we really do want to be asked and be able to talk to someone who will listen. On the other side: we try to satisfy that intimacy without any risk taking. And that is a balancing act, which is hard to maintain.

So very true, plesmone. How I would love to shout to the entire world so that they would know me and not the me that I can allow people to safely know. And how I wish that others would feel the same around me, that they wouldn't be hesitant to be themselves.

And so we tell as much as we can without losing ground, challenging positions or risking friendships. It's not nearly as satisfying and often it's quite frustrating, but it's what we've got. Safely.

When life gets so busy that even the most intimate person in our lives forgets to ask, we start searching for someone – anyone, who will care. Although there are illicit affairs for some, for most the search becomes a world of erotic/romantic fantasies in daydreams and computer screens.

A long way to say yes, I guess it does matter.

*grins* Yes, it does matter, sometimes quite a bit. But should it? Oh well. We can't have a perfect world, I suppose.

As for the "search" you speak of, I have another question. Can things seen through a story or pictures or a chatroom be as "real" as an affair in real life?