Edit

[TomBoner]

Sex robot's would not be new to learn for me.

Perhaps a blow up doll instead?

 

[BurningMonkey]

Shall I blow up the volleyball? Or badminton instead?

Either one is fine. A little exercise sounds good.

 

[TomBoner]

Either one is fine. A little wee-wee sounds good.

Uhhhhhhhh ... mine doesn't qualify!

 

[BurningMonkey]

Uhhhhhhhh! Mine won't liquefy!

Try some stool softeners.

 

[TomBoner]

Try some viagra.

Do you really think viagra helps everything?

 

[BurningMonkey]

Do you really think my afro will finally get me laid?

Honestly? Dude, your hairstyle isn't the problem...

 

[Hornblende]

Honestly? Jude your obscurity isn't the problem...

Ah, a literary gag!

 

[BurningMonkey]

I like to wear a ball gag!

Oooh! Kinky!

(With apologies to Thomas Hardy...)

 

[Hornblende]

Hideous Kinky!

You polymath - you're moving on to films now

 

[BurningMonkey]

You pervert! We have you on film now!

That's not my dong! I never saw it before! Honest!

 

[37_ttej]

Mine's not that long! I never saw it before! Honest!

The curse of the fat man with a short willy.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Her purse held a fat one named Billy.

In memory of her first boyfriend, she said.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

The memory of her first boyfriend made all other men seem insignificant, she said.

Dude, I think she might have been trying to spare your feelings.

 

[37_ttej]

Dude, I think she might have been trying to share your feelings.

It's OK to open up, we're all friends here. Wanna hug?

*cue new-age spiritual music*

 

[wildebird]

It's OK to speed up; they're no cops here. Wanna drag?

*cue low rumbling spirited motors*

I've been looking forward to a race all night!

 

[yellow_rose71]

I've been looking forward to seeing your face all night.

That's so very sweet.

 

[wildebird]

That's a rare tweet.

Pileated woodpecker, I think...

 

[37_ttej]

Poledancing woodsucker, I think...

Not as rare as you might imagine.

 

[Hornblende]

I'm just as square as you might imagine.

I thought you were "down with the kids"?

 

[37_ttej]

I thought you were "down with the skids"?

Nope, not into scat.

 

[Hornblende]

Nope, not into cats.

Dogs? Aardvarks? Kangaroos?

 

[37_ttej]

Honden? Aardvarken? Kangoeroes?

*shrugs*

It's all Dutch to me.

 

[Hornblende]

*shrugs*

Can we go Dutch on the bill?

You cheapskate - you think I'm that easy?

 

[barefootgirl69]

I'm a cheap date - and I'm easy!

Is that the personal ad you've put up on the Literotica boards?

 

[Hornblende]

Is it pertinent that you took me on the floorboards?

Oh, it's pertinent alright