Don't kill me..I'm just the messanger......

[Xander]

For better communication with your better half.

Female / English dictionary

> YES! = NO!
>
> NO! = YES!
>
> Maybe! = No!
>
> We have to…. = I want ...
>
>That's your choice = The right decision should be obvious now!!!
>
>Do what you think is best = You'll pay for this later!!!
Ø >
>we have to talk about something = I wanna complain about something.
>
>Yeah yeah, just do that= DONT do that.
>
>No I'm not upset =OF COURSE I'M UPSET FOOL!!!
>
>You're so Butch = You sweat like a pig and need a bath.
>
>This kitchen is so unpractical = I want a new house.
>
>We need new curtains = I want new curtains, funiture, wallpaper and a new kitchen.
>
> I'm ready in just a minute = Take of your shoes, lie down and switch on the TV, this may take a while.
>
>You think I got a big butt? = Say I'm beautiful!
>
>We really have to communicate = Just agree with me damnit!!!!
>
>Do you even listen to what I say? = Too Late…….You're busted!
>
> ************************************************************

Male-English dictionary
>
> I'm hungry = I'm hungry
>
> I'm tired = I'm tired.
>
> I'm thirsty = I'm thirsty.
>
> You wanna go out and catch a movie? = I wanna have sex with you.
>
>You wanna go out and have some dinner? = I wanna have sex with you.
>
> Can I call you? = I wanna have sex with you.
>
> Nicce dress! = Gorgeous body - I wanna have sex with you.
>
>You look tense, want me to give you a massage? = Lemme touch you - I wanna have sex with you
Ø >
>Whats wrong? = I can't understand why you're making such a big problem out of it!!!!!
>
> I'm bored = Wanna have sex?
>
>I love you = Lets have sex?
>
> I love you too = Okay, Now I've said it. Now let's have sex.!
>
>Yes I like your new hair = I like it better before - now let's have sex.
>
> let's sit down a talk = I'm trying to impress you by pretending I'm profound, then maybe you'll have sex with me later.
>
> (During the shopping trip) No, that one is nicer! = Make up your fucking mind about that fuckin' dress, so we can get home and have sex.
>
> I really don't think that shirt goes well with your skirt, honey pie... = I'm gay!!!!!

 

[Silverlily]

Oh god, my sides hurt! Obviously you've met my husband.

Thanks

 

[Mortto56]

(LMFAO)
You hit the nail right on the head there Xander.

After 24 years of marriage I can say that you are 100% right on every one of those statements.

Still laughing my fucking ass off!

 

[Nicole]

Oh God Xander, that was brilliant

After reading some of the threads that I have just read that was great, it gave me such a good laugh

Thanks Babe