Divorce and Separation

[tonitits]

Well if you are not truely happy in a relationship then you must get out of it.....I have heard all the concerns like....where will I go...what will I do.....what about the kids....how will I make it......

These are just some of the reasons people stay but none of them are any good... most people stay just because they dont want to be alone.....after you live with someone for awhile you become depended on them even if they don't do anything for you.....its a tough thing to just get up and leave the life you know and start anew........

But there is light at the end of the tunnel...it may suck at the beginning but one day you will look back and think how much of a dummy you were for not leaving alot sooner than you did.....

Will there be days that nothing goes right..oh yea there will....Nights when you are cold and need someone to warm you up....oh yes...Times when you need to just have wild crazy sex..more than I like to remember....Days when you just want to sit and cry.....alot of them.....Moments when you just need to be held and feel like you matter....yup yup and yup again..................

But trust me its all better than staying in a relationship where you dont even like yourself.......

When I left all I had were the kids..most of the bills....the truck....the kids stuff....my clothes....one livingroom chair....but I was alot happier and today life is good.....

So all I can say is that when you know in your heart its over....go and go quickly...the longer you wait the harder it gets......

You summed it up. All the feelings,emotions, etc...I have been divorced for 20 yrs! At first it was very hard. Not that I missed him, or the marriage for that matter. It was hard to accept that I failed! And even though I knew in my heart it was the best thing I thought should I have given him another chance.? HELL NO!!! I am so glad that at 22 ,and had been convinced by him that I was stupid and not worth anything, that I was SMART enough to get out of the marriage. I think one of us would have ended up dead ,literally, if I had not walked away!

 

[wordsmithe]

Re: Humor anyone??

"No!" said the Invisible Man, "but my butt hurts like hell!"

Thanks for the joke... are you feeling any better? I hope this is a first step toward writing your long story.

 

[wordsmithe]

Originally posted by tonitits
I ... had been convinced by him that I was stupid and not worth anything, (but) I was SMART enough to get out of the marriage. I think one of us would have ended up dead ,literally, if I had not walked away!

I'm glad you realized who was really the worthless party in that marriage was.

 

[wordsmithe]

Hmmm laughter?

I am terrible with jokes, but am great in the sack!

You can always learn a few jokes and ... wait, what the hell am I saying? It sounds like your talent will take you further in life than the bad jokes I tell.

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: Humor anyone??

Thanks for the joke... are you feeling any better? I hope this is a first step toward writing your long story.

Hi WS! I am doing better. thanks! its been hard to accept that it is really over but i will be fine. on my way to a better life yanno?

I already have the story started. But just havent had time or energy to finish it LOL...soon I hope!

 

[wordsmithe]

Re: Re: Re: Humor anyone??

Hi WS! I am doing better. thanks! its been hard to accept that it is really over but i will be fine. on my way to a better life yanno?

I already have the story started. But just havent had time or energy to finish it LOL...soon I hope!

What can I do to help motivate you?

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Humor anyone??

What can I do to help motivate you?

can you make time stand still? LOL ive got so many things to get done especially today..Im so on the run. Summer is always a crazy time. I promise to work on it some today. Hows that?

 

[tonitits]

I'm glad you realized who was really the worthless party in that marriage was.

Thanks after many years of thinking something was wrong with me I am finally learning who I am and that somewhere there is someone who likes me for me, exactly the way I am. They don't put me down, abuse me, take advantage of me and actually strive to satisfy me! Life truly does begin at 40. I wish I knew what I do now at 20.

 

[wordsmithe]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Humor anyone??

can you make time stand still? LOL ive got so many things to get done especially today..Im so on the run. Summer is always a crazy time. I promise to work on it some today. Hows that?

I have found that jury duty can make time seem to stand still, but I don't recommend that. Write when you can

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Humor anyone??

I have found that jury duty can make time seem to stand still, but I don't recommend that. Write when you can

lol i bet so. havent had the honor of JD...have a good day!

 

[wordsmithe]

Thanks after many years of thinking something was wrong with me I am finally learning who I am and that somewhere there is someone who likes me for me, exactly the way I am. They don't put me down, abuse me, take advantage of me and actually strive to satisfy me! Life truly does begin at 40. I wish I knew what I do now at 20.

I personally believe that there is something very attractive about a smart lady who is comfortable in their own skin

 

[tonitits]

Thanks I needed that!

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Humor anyone??

Hi WS! I am doing better. thanks! its been hard to accept that it is really over but i will be fine. on my way to a better life yanno?

I already have the story started. But just havent had time or energy to finish it LOL...soon I hope!

It's not over till it's over

Today I discovered I was suppose to appear before Freind of Court in respect to the motion for spousal support I filed

I have to get so much paper work from so many places
Shit

 

[callableborg]

joke

A blonde goes into a corner store to buy a condom. She finds it and puts the package down on the counter.

The clerk says,"That will be $2 and 30 cents for tax."

The blonde says, "Oh! Tacks. Is that how you keep them from falling off?"

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

I personally believe that there is something very attractive about a smart lady who is comfortable in their own skin

I agree completely! I want a partner that can keep up with me, who is interesting and stimulating both inside and outside the bedroom.

 

[wordsmithe]

Partners

I believe this is the key to this thread. Finding a partner, whether it is for a day, or for a life time. And more specifically, how to cope when our 'partner' is not the right person for the job.

Anyone can get laid (well, except for shy, eccentric guys like me), but it is really hard to find someone who you want to spend time with, talk with... share with.

The best times, in or out of bed, often are with a special person you want to share the experience with. Too bad we all can't find one person to help us share all of our experiences... but with a few really good friends, we can get by.

 

[wordsmithe]

Sea Sprite humor

The is a creature that lives in the ocean called a sea sprite. When it is young, it actively swims around, hunting for what it needs. As the sea sprite matures, it anchors itself to a rock, and then simply waits for thing to drift close by. As the sea spite no longer needs to try, not longer needs to think about anything, it actually consumes its own brain for nurishment and becomes very plant like in later life.

There are only two other examples of this behavior in nature, a tenured college professor, and your stupid ex.

 

[Jewelz]

Dose of Inspiration

LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we
said. Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born. This leaves only one day, Today.

Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a Time.

--Robert J. Burdette

 

[omahaman2]

thank you jewelz for those thought

http://therapids.net/jojo/images/gifts/thank%20you%20card.jpg

 

[wordsmithe]

Re: Dose of Inspiration

LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME...

--Robert J. Burdette

Wonderful words... here are two other thoughts I like:

1) Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998)

2) Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

Of course I pass these in spite of another quote:

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
W. Somerset Maugham

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Dose of Inspiration

Wonderful words... here are two other thoughts I like:

1) Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998)

2) Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

Of course I pass these in spite of another quote:

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
W. Somerset Maugham

I agree that these have been great... starting with Jewelz

Here is one more

When you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow
you are pissing on today

 

[psyche]

Re: Partners

I believe this is the key to this thread. Finding a partner, whether it is for a day, or for a life time. And more specifically, how to cope when our 'partner' is not the right person for the job.

Anyone can get laid (well, except for shy, eccentric guys like me), but it is really hard to find someone who you want to spend time with, talk with... share with.

The best times, in or out of bed, often are with a special person you want to share the experience with. Too bad we all can't find one person to help us share all of our experiences... but with a few really good friends, we can get by.

What a wonderful post wordsmithe. And you are right of course, sex becomes important out of perspective with other things when we are deprived of it. The qualities that my husband has have kept me from walking out the door, while I seek what I need in others when he cannot provide it. What might in fact tear our relationship apart may keep it together since my needs are taken care of and I am not resentful when I spend time with him.

 

[wordsmithe]

Re: Re: Partners

What a wonderful post wordsmithe. And you are right of course, sex becomes important out of perspective with other things when we are deprived of it. The qualities that my husband has have kept me from walking out the door, while I seek what I need in others when he cannot provide it. What might in fact tear our relationship apart may keep it together since my needs are taken care of and I am not resentful when I spend time with him.

Just thinking out loud... is it possible to find everything you need in one person? If not, why does our society expect it?

I forsee a lot of interesting replies to your post Psyche

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Partners

Just thinking out loud... is it possible to find everything you need in one person? If not, why does our society expect it?

I forsee a lot of interesting replies to your post Psyche

It's called being poly

There is a thread here on it

 

[Nicodemus]

Thank you all,

Feels good to know that I am not some strange mutant for wanting out. As has been said it is rarely ever cut and dry. My wife is not some monster....she is a caring strong woman with a big heart. At the same time she is controlling, needy as hell, has a distinct lack of cofidence which manifests itself in the form of a lack of trust (not that I am perfect). Sex is a trial and has to be on her terms or it does not happen.

Why am I still here.....well for one dropping an 8 year relationship is very hard to do. Also, despite having grown in very different directions I hate to hurt her. I know that staying while not wanting to be there is not healthy either but unfortunately, just as I was getting to the point of finally taking the step that needed to be taken she was struck ill (legitimately so) and lost her job as a result. She was also bed ridden for a while. This necessitated putting my plans aside and trying to help her heal.

Guess I just needed to vent a bit. Thank you all for sharing....your strength is helping me maintain mine and helps me know that wanting to be happy and not settling for okay is okay.

Nic,