Distance Domination-Support Thread

[Lady_Fiona]

I'm home. I'm heartbroken.

I cried all the way home on the plane.

Now I have to get my shit together and be the 'real' me again. The family me.

Right now, the family me does not want to play. I just want to get back on a plane and go back to Dublin.

Please tell me the pain stops. For both of us.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I'm home. I'm heartbroken.

I cried all the way home on the plane.

Now I have to get my shit together and be the 'real' me again. The family me.

Right now, the family me does not want to play. I just want to get back on a plane and go back to Dublin.

Please tell me the pain stops. For both of us.

The pain changes. At least for me it does. I miss him terribly when we aren't together but I know I will see him again so it's ok.

Something I have started to do the last year or so after visits is right away type up a synopsis of the visit. I include everything from what I was wearing, what we ate, what we physically did both vanilla normal things like going out to eat and the kinky things, too. I also include my emotions at the time and then afterwards to everything. I send him off a copy and he sends me all the pictures and videos he took while we were together. I put them in a file and label it with the date.

This way when I get sad or lonely I re-read what I wrote and look through the pictures and it does help me feel better.

Also I have found that if I don't write it down right away I forget details very quickly. It's very odd for me because for the most part I have a video-like memory. It may be that the emotions with the pain play cause brain fog?? I don't know, but I do know it occurs so I write everything down immediately. (the last time my plane was delayed by 6 hours coming back so I typed up the whole thing sitting in the airport.)

Another thing that helps, though unfortunately we haven't been able to do it lately, is to as quick as possible set a date for the next visit. It'll give you something to look forward to.

 

[Homburg]

Also I have found that if I don't write it down right away I forget details very quickly. It's very odd for me because for the most part I have a video-like memory. It may be that the emotions with the pain play cause brain fog??

I get forgetful about such things too. It's probably just the overall intensity of the situation and immense amount of sensory input.

Another thing that helps, though unfortunately we haven't been able to do it lately, is to as quick as possible set a date for the next visit. It'll give you something to look forward to.

I do this as well. I've hated the times when we weren't sure when a visit was.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm home. I'm heartbroken.

I cried all the way home on the plane.

Now I have to get my shit together and be the 'real' me again. The family me.

Right now, the family me does not want to play. I just want to get back on a plane and go back to Dublin.

Please tell me the pain stops. For both of us.

I don't think it ever stops, but it does get easier.

One thing that kind of prolonged my suffering was that I didn't let myself morn the parting at first. I wanted to be brave and strong and the lil "f.a.c." he's always so proud of. I kept trying to push it way insted of feeling it. Once I let myself morn and wallow a bit, it subsided a little. Not a great deal, but it got easier to deal with things and easier to do the daily things.

I was a mess for about 6 weeks, then I was able to start actually dealing with life.

Right now I'm worried about how I'm going to react once the scheduled time for my trip is here and I'm not rushing home after work to catch a plane. If I was depressed and moody for 6 weeks after I visited him, I just can't imagine how I'll be not making this trip.

 

[Adakgirl]

Hi Adakgirl~ I know what you mean, sweetheart! I feel so bad for you, hon. It really sucks when the other person's idea of honesty is one of bits and pieces that look like an open relationship. They fool themselves, then act all surprised when they fool others as well. Some don't even realise what they are doing and some just like the titillate/guilty game. *hugs and kisses* His loss, sweetie! Just remember that!

Mistress Belladonna

I shall and thank you so much Mistress Belladonna for your compassion and your wit!

 

[Adakgirl]

I am afraid my plane will arrive late and I will have time to call Master and say I am running late.....

That is what Master says that it is neat to look out the window..

Don't worry about that the airport where he is waiting will have a display that tells him if your plane is running late or early or on time. Yes it is neat to look out the window, but I don;t recommend you doing that right away if you are afraid to fly. Maybe right before you are going to land.

Whatever you do if you have connecting flights where you have to get off a plane and get on another plane..find the gate you will need to be at before you do anything else, once you find your gate chk to see how much time you have before your connecting flight leaves, if you have time then you can go to the restroom or get something to eat or whatever. But find your gate 1st.

 

[Adakgirl]

I feel for you Lady Fiona, hang in there, it will get better with time maybe.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I'm still moping about, still having moments of silent tears. His t-shirt is with me constantly when privacy allows but I am afraid I will lose his smell. I don't want to dwell on him (well, yes I do), I will end up hurting those I love around me but I can't help it, the pain feels so raw. I am in danger of alienating some VERY cherished friends if I don't pull myself together soon but the sensible head me simply refuses to come out and play.

I have taken ES advice and started possibly the longest email in the world. I don't know how long it will take to write, there is so much of me to put into it but I am hoping it will lift some of the melancholoy as I write it.

I just wish we could set a date for the next visit but we dont know when that will be. I was going to say, if ever but to be honest, there WILL be a next time, there has to be. Come on fate, be on our side for once.

Thank you everyone btw, for your support. It really does help.

 

[the captians wench]

I was frantic the other day searching for his shirt. I looked everywhere and had given up and started into a pout. When I put away my laundry there I found it. It had been washed with the sheets that I had just taken off of the bed. It had already lost almost all of his sent, but now it's totally gone and smells of vanilla and lavendar.

I'm going to start putting in my request for a new one. But I had to go claim this one so I might not get it until Octobe. *pouts*

 

[Sexualinnocent]

*snip*
I just wish we could set a date for the next visit but we dont know when that will be. I was going to say, if ever but to be honest, there WILL be a next time, there has to be. Come on fate, be on our side for once.

Thank you everyone btw, for your support. It really does help.

i can totally relate. i have NO idea when i will see Sir again, and it's very hard for me right now. i know i will be strong and be ok, but right now lol i am being a bit needy. Hang in there Fiona...it will work out.

The support of this thread has helped me too. Thank you.

 

[myinnerslut]

moving day in 16 days.

 

[Homburg]

moving day in 16 days.

I keep coming back to this post and rereading it. It's hard to believe.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm starting to feel the weepy, pouty, melencolly and just blueness of not flying a week from friday....again. I'm trying very hard not to be depressed, and to fill that time with other things, but I just can't seem to fully get passed the fact that I should be in his arms in less than two weeks.

I don't remember it being this hard when I cancled trips before. I don't know if it was and I just don't remember, or if it really is harder because now I do know what I'm missing.

My next trip is going to be in October, which just seems like a lifetime away, especially with out this two week period in May that I was planing on, counting on really. I'm really not handling this very well.

I'm trying to put other things into priority. On the day that he should have been picking me up from the airport, I'm going with friends to get something done that Jounar and I have talked about almost for as long as I've known him, we're getting my nipples pierced. That'll knock out a lot of play with them for a while, but they'll be healed enough by October that he can break them in then. I'm also going to drive to Kansas and spend a few days with my brother and his lot. Then it's focasing on my costumes and creating a website.

Not how I wanted to spend May, but it will have to do I guess.

 

[KayKat]

I'm starting to feel the weepy, pouty, melencolly and just blueness of not flying a week from friday....again. I'm trying very hard not to be depressed, and to fill that time with other things, but I just can't seem to fully get passed the fact that I should be in his arms in less than two weeks.

I don't remember it being this hard when I cancled trips before. I don't know if it was and I just don't remember, or if it really is harder because now I do know what I'm missing.

My next trip is going to be in October, which just seems like a lifetime away, especially with out this two week period in May that I was planing on, counting on really. I'm really not handling this very well.

I'm trying to put other things into priority. On the day that he should have been picking me up from the airport, I'm going with friends to get something done that Jounar and I have talked about almost for as long as I've known him, we're getting my nipples pierced. That'll knock out a lot of play with them for a while, but they'll be healed enough by October that he can break them in then. I'm also going to drive to Kansas and spend a few days with my brother and his lot. Then it's focasing on my costumes and creating a website.

Not how I wanted to spend May, but it will have to do I guess.

I am sorry to hear you don't get to go in May..I know you hate it so bad and I hate it for you!!

WOOHOO on getting your nips pierced for him..That will make you feel closer to you I hope!!

Leaving you tight hugs!

 

[KayKat]

Don't worry about that the airport where he is waiting will have a display that tells him if your plane is running late or early or on time. Yes it is neat to look out the window, but I don;t recommend you doing that right away if you are afraid to fly. Maybe right before you are going to land.

Whatever you do if you have connecting flights where you have to get off a plane and get on another plane..find the gate you will need to be at before you do anything else, once you find your gate chk to see how much time you have before your connecting flight leaves, if you have time then you can go to the restroom or get something to eat or whatever. But find your gate 1st.

Oh I had not even thought about the airport where he is going to be picking me up...

I am going to find my gate as soon as I can and then go to the bathroom if I can and have time...I am about afraid to do anything but wait by the gate to get on the plane..

 

[Adakgirl]

moving day in 16 days.

Oh my gosh is that all? Only 16 days left! That is soooo wonderful. I had no idea at all you were that close to moving in. For some strange reason I had it in my mind that you had a year or more left to wait. I guess I need to pay better attention to the posts.
I just want to say that I think this is going to be such a great and wonderful thing for all of you. For you, your Master and for Viv..as well as the kids.

Warning, my overt, unabashed praise of your Master ahead and a possible psychic reading too.

In my opinion Homberg is nothing less than A #1 as far as Dominants go. Men like him are very, rare. He is intelligent, self confident, yet not afraid to humble himself when the situation calls for it. He is sensitive, caring, and giving of himself, he has a big warm heart, he's kinda funny, and I think he carries around with him.... a special kind of intense, scary evil... just below the surface .. and of course he has to carry it with him because it is simply a part of him. No Domination separation lines exist inside of him.

He also seems to have an instinctual knowledge about what makes women tick, how they think, how to turn them off or turn them on or push their buttons in the correct sequence in order to get the desired results. I believe this instinct includes the knowledge of when to stop, turn around and think about something before proceeding, as well as when to let things alone and do nothing at all. THAT is a gift in itself.

I say these things because that is how I perceive him to be as I look through the stained glass windows of Literotica BDSM forums. I realize you already know how damned lucky you are to have found him innerslut...but I just gotta say that though I am really, really, happy for you, I do envy you and your future life with him and Viv. And know this...even though things might get rough, really emotional and there may be some difficult times to come, I feel that both of you (and viv too) are strong enough , have the inner fortitude and are tough enough to pull through just about anything life throws at you, as long as you pull together.

I official publicly congratulate you innerslut, you deserve such a Master as Homberg. I wish you both all the happiness and love you can handle in your future endeavors together.

* And the crowd cheers loudly, rising to their feet in a standing ovation clapping their hands and stomping their feet in a spontaneous reaction to Adakgirl's speech" SHUzzzzzzza!*

 

[Homburg]

In my opinion Homberg is nothing less than A #1 as far as Dominants go.

You, darlin, are too kind. Thank you.

 

[the captians wench]

I am sorry to hear you don't get to go in May..I know you hate it so bad and I hate it for you!!

WOOHOO on getting your nips pierced for him..That will make you feel closer to you I hope!!

Leaving you tight hugs!

Thanks. I know I'm being a bit mopey here, but I don't want to do it infront of him, he's upset enough and I already had my tempertantrum. He's so stressed lately, he really doesn't need me adding to it.

When we first started chatting he asked if I had ever thought of having them done, I told him about my needle phobia and the bad experiences that a couple of friends of mine had. But he's always liked the idea. When I finally had my belly button done, just over a year ago, I said that if it worked out well, then I'd consider my nipples. Well it has healed very well, and I've been thinking about it seriously since I saw him last. I even considered doing it there, but he didn't want to take any torture time away from them. *giggles*

When Jounar first mentioned that I might not be able to visit next month, I made a comment to a friend that I might let him take me to have my nipples done. Then when it became offical that I wasn't going, the friend asked me what day he was taking me. *giggles* I talked to Jounar, and he likes the idea of me having them done, and they will be fairly well healed by my visit in October so while he won't be able to tourture them when we have time online, he will be able to do so in person.

It's just hard for me to believe I have to wait another 5 months before I get to see him.

 

[the captians wench]

btw Congrats hommy mis and viv. it's good to see things come together. it gives me hope.

 

[KayKat]

Thanks. I know I'm being a bit mopey here, but I don't want to do it infront of him, he's upset enough and I already had my tempertantrum. He's so stressed lately, he really doesn't need me adding to it.

When we first started chatting he asked if I had ever thought of having them done, I told him about my needle phobia and the bad experiences that a couple of friends of mine had. But he's always liked the idea. When I finally had my belly button done, just over a year ago, I said that if it worked out well, then I'd consider my nipples. Well it has healed very well, and I've been thinking about it seriously since I saw him last. I even considered doing it there, but he didn't want to take any torture time away from them. *giggles*

When Jounar first mentioned that I might not be able to visit next month, I made a comment to a friend that I might let him take me to have my nipples done. Then when it became offical that I wasn't going, the friend asked me what day he was taking me. *giggles* I talked to Jounar, and he likes the idea of me having them done, and they will be fairly well healed by my visit in October so while he won't be able to tourture them when we have time online, he will be able to do so in person.

It's just hard for me to believe I have to wait another 5 months before I get to see him.

You be as mopey as you want..we are here for you!!!

That is good that your belly ring healed good..I hope that your nipples will too..that is cute about your friend asking when you were going to get them done..yes that will just give Jounar more to play with when you get to him..I am sure that he will enjoy seeing the pics of them and knowing that you do it for him!

I wish you could go now..I hope and pray that the 5 months fly by for you hon!

 

[myinnerslut]

*supposed* to be moving in 14 days. as long as everything is ok at the doctors appointment (that i couldnt make for any day other then moving day, grrr) i will be. keep your fingers crossed.

 

[KayKat]

God I can't wait to be with Master...So much to do in the next little bit...Getting things together, buying the next part of the outfit that I am to wear..Things like that..Oh yeah and I need to quit being so nervous..

 

[myinnerslut]

pre-op thursday
surgery the 19th
depending on what they do, in the hospital till the 20th.

moving day postponed to.... the 21st? if im healed enough? the 22nd?

fuck!

 

[Homburg]

pre-op thursday
surgery the 19th
depending on what they do, in the hospital till the 20th.

moving day postponed to.... the 21st? if im healed enough? the 22nd?

fuck!

One or two days matters little when we have years ahead of us. You'll be fine. Just concentrate on the heart being okay.

 

[Mistress_Belladonna]

I'm still moping about, still having moments of silent tears. His t-shirt is with me constantly when privacy allows but I am afraid I will lose his smell. I don't want to dwell on him (well, yes I do), I will end up hurting those I love around me but I can't help it, the pain feels so raw. I am in danger of alienating some VERY cherished friends if I don't pull myself together soon but the sensible head me simply refuses to come out and play.

I have taken ES advice and started possibly the longest email in the world. I don't know how long it will take to write, there is so much of me to put into it but I am hoping it will lift some of the melancholoy as I write it.

I just wish we could set a date for the next visit but we dont know when that will be. I was going to say, if ever but to be honest, there WILL be a next time, there has to be. Come on fate, be on our side for once.

Thank you everyone btw, for your support. It really does help.

I'm sorry to hear that, Lady Fiona! How about putting his tshirt into a ziploc baggie to keep the smell intact? And can you set a date for even a year away? I know that is a long time, but even then.... a weekend, something to look forward to? *big hug*