Distance Domination-Support Thread

[Lady_Fiona]

I'm sorry to hear that, Lady Fiona! How about putting his tshirt into a ziploc baggie to keep the smell intact? And can you set a date for even a year away? I know that is a long time, but even then.... a weekend, something to look forward to? *big hug*

Thank you for your kind words and hug Mistress_Belladonna, they really are appreciated. I may have to resort to putting the shirt in a bag but tbh I would rather hug it lol. The email grows ever longer, I have been writing it for a week now, remembering things, just tiny details and adding them. At the moment we are looking at April next year.

We could have sorted something out for this weekend had I known someone was going to pull out on me prior to last night. The whole family are away this weekend, I could have jumped a flight to Dublin. Never mind, the housework will get a serious bashing.

 

[Adakgirl]

pre-op thursday
surgery the 19th
depending on what they do, in the hospital till the 20th.

moving day postponed to.... the 21st? if im healed enough? the 22nd?

fuck!

Surgery? Oh hellsbells! So sorry to read that innerslut. I don't think it's a wise idea to put yourself under the strain of moving after having only one day re-coup after surgery. Do you? Maybe you should wait a few days more? Sending you all my healing energy the 19/20/12st. Hang in there woman, every things gonna be ok. I can feel it. Try not to worry to much. You are young and emotionally tough enough to handle all this.

As we all know, life throws obstacles in our way all the time. You gotta work to get past them, either jump over them, find a way to go around them or tunnel under them. If you don't see and obstacle and you trip and fall, at least you got on the other side. You have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving moving towards your goal of finding happiness and contentment in your life.
Good luck innerslut.
Homberg you must feel so frustrated and helpless right now... if you can't be there with her during this surgery. Not going to tell you to try not to worry...that is impossible. Just going to let you know I realize how hard this is must be for you. I'm going to gather all my positive energy together and shoot it your way.
Now lemmie write this down...innerslut gets the healing..... Homb gets the positive....no worries cuz there's plenty good Chi out there to go around, I can get more,no problem.

 

[Homburg]

Well, it's a procedure done through a catheter. It may not even require an overnight stay, depending on what all they do. Given that all the move will take is loading clothes and such into the car (which I'll do) and driving (which I'll do), it's not that heavy on her. We won't be doing it the next day for sure. I'm taking a wait-and-see attitude towards the next day.

And, yeah, I'll be there. No doubt about that. After the last time, her dad would probably pay for a plane ticket if he had to.

 

[myinnerslut]

unfortunately my odds are more on an overnight stay then an in and out. the doctors are pretty convinced that the second procedure will be necessary. While it can happen through the catheter so no more incisions, it means i have to stay in the hospital for observation.

also means there is no way the heart monitor implant in my chest is going away anytime soon.

 

[Homburg]

unfortunately my odds are more on an overnight stay then an in and out. the doctors are pretty convinced that the second procedure will be necessary. While it can happen through the catheter so no more incisions, it means i have to stay in the hospital for observation.

also means there is no way the heart monitor implant in my chest is going away anytime soon.

I've already planned for an overnight stay. Better to expect that (as it is likely) and be pleasantly surprised than expect otherwise and be disappointed.

 

[the captians wench]

Finally got some time with Jounar tonight after a week of only a couple of texts back and forth.

It's been a horrid week, which makes me miss him so much. And the reality of not visiting him hasn't fully sunk in yet. I'm waiting for that crash.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Finally got some time with Jounar tonight after a week of only a couple of texts back and forth.

It's been a horrid week, which makes me miss him so much. And the reality of not visiting him hasn't fully sunk in yet. I'm waiting for that crash.

Big hugs for you!! I am so sorry your trip had to be cancelled. I know the feeling all too well.

Daddy only lives 7 hours by car from me but sometimes it feels like it may be on the other side of the ocean. A few weeks ago I drove within 10 minutes of his house but couldn't stop by and see him. (I was with my family and he was at his weekend house with his family ) It can be so frustrating.

I'm glad to hear you got some time with him tonight. SOme good quality time can make such a difference.

 

[the captians wench]

Big hugs for you!! I am so sorry your trip had to be cancelled. I know the feeling all too well.

Daddy only lives 7 hours by car from me but sometimes it feels like it may be on the other side of the ocean. A few weeks ago I drove within 10 minutes of his house but couldn't stop by and see him. (I was with my family and he was at his weekend house with his family ) It can be so frustrating.

I'm glad to hear you got some time with him tonight. SOme good quality time can make such a difference.

*huggles*

Yeah, I know he's been worried about me because I've had such a misserable week that I haven't even been doing my pic assignments. And I love doing those because it makes mee feel closer to him.

I keep trying to tell myself that this will b e a good thing. My vacation time is quickly filling up with things to do, so at least I'll be busy.

And there's still October.

 

[Adakgirl]

unfortunately my odds are more on an overnight stay then an in and out. the doctors are pretty convinced that the second procedure will be necessary. While it can happen through the catheter so no more incisions, it means i have to stay in the hospital for observation.

also means there is no way the heart monitor implant in my chest is going away anytime soon.

While that heart monitor probably sucks big time to have in your chest, it's a necessary and vital tool for the heart Dr's as you well know. It sounds to me like it certainly will have to stay there for awhile. You may have to have a 2nd procedure and you may have to stay longer than you expected to in the Hosp. But you are lucky that your Master will be there with you and he is all you will need to help you get through this.
Try not to let all this crap get you down. Keep your focus and do the best you can is all you can do. Thank gosh you are not going under the knife, but a heart procedure is a heart procedure and those are certainly no fun at all.

my heart goes out to you??.....naaaa that just don't sound right................lol

 

[myinnerslut]

my heart goes out to you??.....naaaa that just don't sound right................lol

*giggle*

ive been making cheesy heart jokes all day. earlier Master said that something he read warmed the cockles of his heart. to which i replied, "you have cockles in your heart? you should probably get that looked at."

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Guys, i need some help here.

Please tell me/remind me just to keep the faith, ok? i have some things to resolve. Not with Sir, but other things, and there hasn't been enough contact. i am feeling a bit lonely/lost, but i know if i get through it things will be fine.

Thanks and hugs...and MIS, thinking about you in your surgery. i detest hospitals.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Guys, i need some help here.

Please tell me/remind me just to keep the faith, ok? i have some things to resolve. Not with Sir, but other things, and there hasn't been enough contact. i am feeling a bit lonely/lost, but i know if i get through it things will be fine.

Thanks and hugs...and MIS, thinking about you in your surgery. i detest hospitals.

Loads and loads of hugs for you SI {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

Its awful when things come along and kick you in the bum to the detriment of everything around you. When I feel like that I hold on to everything I feel for Daddy with twice as much resolve as usual (if thats possible) but it is sometimes very hard. Feeling lost and lonely is very difficult to fight sometimes, which is why this thread is such a godsend, everyone here is so supportive of each other and so understanding. I know I should not speak for others really but I am certain they all echo the sentiment that we are all here for you.


Oh and MIS, have been thinking of you although I have not posted yet xxx

 

[ecstaticsub]

Guys, i need some help here.

Please tell me/remind me just to keep the faith, ok? i have some things to resolve. Not with Sir, but other things, and there hasn't been enough contact. i am feeling a bit lonely/lost, but i know if i get through it things will be fine.

Thanks and hugs...and MIS, thinking about you in your surgery. i detest hospitals.

Life getting in the way of the relationship? I know that feeling very well. Life gets so busy sometimes and problems and issues come up which take away time and energy that I would rather spend on Daddy.

Something that I have learned that I've come to realize has been very important. We (both pyls and PYLs) in a LDR can't really know everything that is going on in each others lives unless we tell the other person. I know there has been time that life is absolutely crazy but I keep up the expectations Daddy has for me each day without really telling him everything that is going on. Then when he asks for something else and I am less then energetic he wonders why. It is my fault for not really letting him know exactly what is going on. My fault for trying to be super-sub (along with super-mom, super-wife, super-worker etc, etc) without being really open with him. I now make sure he knows exactly what is going on in my life.

I don't know if all that applies to you or not, sort of got to rambling..lol

Always keep in mind your love for each other and you will get through everything else.

 

[myinnerslut]

Guys, i need some help here.

Please tell me/remind me just to keep the faith, ok? i have some things to resolve. Not with Sir, but other things, and there hasn't been enough contact. i am feeling a bit lonely/lost, but i know if i get through it things will be fine.

Thanks and hugs...and MIS, thinking about you in your surgery. i detest hospitals.

hang in there, ok? whatever it is will get better with time, and you will be so glad you stuck it through.

*sending hugs, fluffy blankets, teddy bears, and hot chocolate for a good proper snuggle*

and thank you for the well wishes, both you and lady fiona.

 

[the captians wench]

Life getting in the way of the relationship? I know that feeling very well. Life gets so busy sometimes and problems and issues come up which take away time and energy that I would rather spend on Daddy.

Something that I have learned that I've come to realize has been very important. We (both pyls and PYLs) in a LDR can't really know everything that is going on in each others lives unless we tell the other person. I know there has been time that life is absolutely crazy but I keep up the expectations Daddy has for me each day without really telling him everything that is going on. Then when he asks for something else and I am less then energetic he wonders why. It is my fault for not really letting him know exactly what is going on. My fault for trying to be super-sub (along with super-mom, super-wife, super-worker etc, etc) without being really open with him. I now make sure he knows exactly what is going on in my life.

I don't know if all that applies to you or not, sort of got to rambling..lol

Always keep in mind your love for each other and you will get through everything else.

This was something I learned early on, and it aplies outside LDR as well. You just can't expect some one to know what's going on, and how you feel about it unless you tell them.

I know I've said this before, but when I'm really upset, or don't have the time I usually do with Jounar, I send lots of emails. Sometimes it's just a rundown of my day, sometimes just one or two things, and most often it's just ramblings. Most importantly, I tell him how I'm feeling, and how these things are effecting me. It keeps us involved with daily life. And it just makes me feel closer to him.

 

[the captians wench]

I love hearing his voice first thing in the morning.

Even if it is just over the phone. He always sounds so chearful and pleased to hear me as well..

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I love hearing his voice first thing in the morning.

Even if it is just over the phone. He always sounds so chearful and pleased to hear me as well..

Oh I know that one SO well....

"Hello Princess, good morning"

I turn to mush. On the spot. Its a good job I am in bed or sitting down because I would have to anyway.

 

[Homburg]

Something that I have learned that I've come to realize has been very important. We (both pyls and PYLs) in a LDR can't really know everything that is going on in each others lives unless we tell the other person.

To an extent, I suck at this. I mean, I try to keep people appraised of what is going on, but will forget little things. That only applies to social stuff though. With work, I'm actively terse.

My dad used to come home from duty each day and blather on to my mother about everything that happened. She would dutifully listen, but I could tell that she didn't want to hear about it. Eventually, she made it clear. It hurt my dad's feelings, but he bounced back, and eventually started talking about work again anyway, in his usually oblivious fashion. My mother, in a rare moment of understanding cum exasperation, just gave up and listened.

Later, when I got older and my mom started working again, she would go to work, come home, and generally not talk about it. She'd vent if something had really wound her up, or share particularly important/amusing things, but she didn't feel the need to talk about the minutiae that my dad did.

I am MUCH more like my mother. I am that way about work, school, etc. When I'm done with it, I leave it behind and don't talk about it. I'm not interested in work stuff when I'm not working, so why would anybody else be? Sometimes though, that is what would help in a given situation. Doesn't matter. I suck at talking about "my day".

 

[ecstaticsub]

To an extent, I suck at this. I mean, I try to keep people appraised of what is going on, but will forget little things. That only applies to social stuff though. With work, I'm actively terse.

My dad used to come home from duty each day and blather on to my mother about everything that happened. She would dutifully listen, but I could tell that she didn't want to hear about it. Eventually, she made it clear. It hurt my dad's feelings, but he bounced back, and eventually started talking about work again anyway, in his usually oblivious fashion. My mother, in a rare moment of understanding cum exasperation, just gave up and listened.

Later, when I got older and my mom started working again, she would go to work, come home, and generally not talk about it. She'd vent if something had really wound her up, or share particularly important/amusing things, but she didn't feel the need to talk about the minutiae that my dad did.

I am MUCH more like my mother. I am that way about work, school, etc. When I'm done with it, I leave it behind and don't talk about it. I'm not interested in work stuff when I'm not working, so why would anybody else be? Sometimes though, that is what would help in a given situation. Doesn't matter. I suck at talking about "my day".

Since so much about my day effects my moods I have to talk about it, at least a little. Though I try not to babble. But Daddy knows me well enough to know when something is bothering me or otherwise on my mind. He also knows when my full attention is not on him. So he needs to know why.

If we were living in the same house he most likely wouldn't need me to tell him, he could see it all for himself. But since that is not the case he needs for me to tell him if one of my children are sick, or something major happened at work..etc.

On the other hand he rarely tells me anything about his day unless he feels I need to know.

 

[Homburg]

Since so much about my day effects my moods I have to talk about it, at least a little. Though I try not to babble. But Daddy knows me well enough to know when something is bothering me or otherwise on my mind. He also knows when my full attention is not on him. So he needs to know why.

If we were living in the same house he most likely wouldn't need me to tell him, he could see it all for himself. But since that is not the case he needs for me to tell him if one of my children are sick, or something major happened at work..etc.

On the other hand he rarely tells me anything about his day unless he feels I need to know.

Every afternoon after school, MIS tells me about her day, how the kids were in the class, what happened, etc. I am perfectly happy to hear it. Unlike my mother, I'm not dead bored by the day-to-day, and like knowing about it.

I am all about that need-to-know thing though. Really, it is not that I don't want anyone to know. I just feel like my job would be boring to hear about. It's not really boring to do necessarily, but not a laugh riot. I have more important to talk about. Like, y'know, the funny thing that one of the cats did, or how pretty the weather is today, or, gee, what viv or MIS' day was like. Maybe my priorities are weird.

 

[Adakgirl]

Guys, i need some help here.

Please tell me/remind me just to keep the faith, ok? i have some things to resolve. Not with Sir, but other things, and there hasn't been enough contact. i am feeling a bit lonely/lost, but i know if i get through it things will be fine.

Thanks and hugs...and MIS, thinking about you in your surgery. i detest hospitals.

Keep the faith Sexualinnocent! We all know that there are times that we will have to resolve things for ourselves without the needed help and support of our Dominant. That can be a difficult thing to do so of course you're feeling lost and lonely, that is perfectly natural. But you can do it, I am sure you have done it before and you can do it this time too.

There is rarely anything worse than not having him there for you when you really need him to be. But it is a reality of life and you are a grown up adult woman, you can get through this. I know you can. We all are here for you, always.

 

[Adakgirl]

My petty little difficulties with on-line LD Dominants pale in comparison with what so many of you are going through and go through daily in your lives. It is embarrassing for me even to bring them up. But there is no place else to go, no one else I can tell who would even come close to understanding.

New Dom, lives close, 3/4hrs from me. we sent 50+ e-mails back and forth Mon-Tue-Wen-Thur-Fri he was out of town. Our views on D/s and about on-line D/s run closely together and matched nicely. He is a very respectful, polite, sensitive, generous, caring, evil minded, somewhat sadistic Dom. Just how I like it.

The quality of my submission to his Dominance, my willingness and effort to please him, mean much more to him than my sexuality or my body. He thanks me, he told me several times that thinks I am a fantastic submissive, and he told me he values me.

He disarmed me of my use of apologies, excuses and explanations of my past experiences ... to explain away my lack of self confidence and negativity towards myself and my fear of abandonment. He did that in one sentence. Not allowed to say or think anything negative about someone that he values, because that would be like saying he was wrong, and he values me. Done..end of discussion. He is an amazing person as well as an awesome Dominant, in my opinion.

That one sentence alone opened up so many doors for me and slammed so many shut all at once. It was liberating and confining all at the same time. We talked of many things we were looking forward to exploring D/s together.
he traveled home, e-mailed me said he was home safe but lots to do.

E-mailed me later said he would e-mail me the next day on Sat. nothing, all day today, nothing either. no word at all.

I did test him and tried to fuck with him late Friday night, without realizing how tired he was at the time. But I warned him 1st that I felt like I might take a chance and mess with him a bit...see what happened. He welcomed this and said it would be a good test, but he was betting on himself to win and betting that I would be saying to myself "why did I do something so stupid"

Now I AM asking myself "Why did I do something so stupid? What was I thinking?" If I had pushed his buttons too far, he would have not e-mailed me when he arrived home and cut off communication then don't you think? Now He has me right where he wants me, apprehensive, unsure, worried, confused and.... and ,...hurt.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

First of all, thank you all so much for the online hugs, etc...it really helps because obviously i am limited where i can talk about some things. i got a huge task done tonight that Sir had directed me to do, designed to help me, and it feels a lot better, although i really want to talk with Him about it.

Adak, you are right that we are adults. i was before i became Sir's...and i still am and have a brain, and He does expect me to do the right thing in these times.

i am sorry that this is happening between you and this Dominant...i so hope you can work it out. It sounds like it has been a good thing...

Hugs for all of you. And thanks. i really appreciate that i can come here and post.

 

[ecstaticsub]

My petty little difficulties with on-line LD Dominants pale in comparison with what so many of you are going through and go through daily in your lives. It is embarrassing for me even to bring them up. But there is no place else to go, no one else I can tell who would even come close to understanding.

New Dom, lives close, 3/4hrs from me. we sent 50+ e-mails back and forth Mon-Tue-Wen-Thur-Fri he was out of town. Our views on D/s and about on-line D/s run closely together and matched nicely. He is a very respectful, polite, sensitive, generous, caring, evil minded, somewhat sadistic Dom. Just how I like it.

The quality of my submission to his Dominance, my willingness and effort to please him, mean much more to him than my sexuality or my body. He thanks me, he told me several times that thinks I am a fantastic submissive, and he told me he values me.

He disarmed me of my use of apologies, excuses and explanations of my past experiences ... to explain away my lack of self confidence and negativity towards myself and my fear of abandonment. He did that in one sentence. Not allowed to say or think anything negative about someone that he values, because that would be like saying he was wrong, and he values me. Done..end of discussion. He is an amazing person as well as an awesome Dominant, in my opinion.

That one sentence alone opened up so many doors for me and slammed so many shut all at once. It was liberating and confining all at the same time. We talked of many things we were looking forward to exploring D/s together.
he traveled home, e-mailed me said he was home safe but lots to do.

E-mailed me later said he would e-mail me the next day on Sat. nothing, all day today, nothing either. no word at all.

I did test him and tried to fuck with him late Friday night, without realizing how tired he was at the time. But I warned him 1st that I felt like I might take a chance and mess with him a bit...see what happened. He welcomed this and said it would be a good test, but he was betting on himself to win and betting that I would be saying to myself "why did I do something so stupid"

Now I AM asking myself "Why did I do something so stupid? What was I thinking?" If I had pushed his buttons too far, he would have not e-mailed me when he arrived home and cut off communication then don't you think? Now He has me right where he wants me, apprehensive, unsure, worried, confused and.... and ,...hurt.

So sorry you are hurt. I have to ask how long have you known him? Did you have an extended period of time where you were just getting to know each other before becoming his submissive? I can't say I have ever purposely tested Daddy. There have been times in the past 4 years that I have tested his patience and temper but it was not on purpose.

Hopefully you will hear from him soon and find out whether he just got busy or if his absence was him testing you.

Hugs

 

[the captians wench]

Adaka:

Unfortunitly I've run into the exact same thing with many a "online dom". Most would "claim me" with in 2 chats. I fell into the whole "some guy in Timbucktoo says that I am his slave and now I have to obey his every command". One of these guys was a real asshole and really fucked with my head, which nearly ended Jounar's and my relationship before it had truely time to take flight. These guys would claim to test me all the time, to explain away long absences. *shrug* you just find a lot of assholes in the world.

Jounar, well many have heard my moanings about how we haven't had time for x amount of days. When I say no time, I mean not so much as an offline IM. It's rare that I don't get at least that, but it does happen sometimes. Even rarer since his phone can text me now. Still, he's never once claimed to be testing me by disapearing and I can't say that I've ever really tested, or pushed him (other than trying to convince him I should still go to visit him) but I have worried about having pushed too far (especially when it comes to convincing him I should still visit).

I remember totally falling apart the first time we had a 3 day period between chats. I fretted the entire time over what I did or said to upset him so much. I reread our last conversation a million times. When he finally did pop back online, I pleaded to know what I had done and promised I would strive to be better. He was amazed and informed me he had been staying with a cousin and wasn't online at all durring that time.

I still tend to worry when he disapears for an extended period of time. I wonder if I did something wrong or pissed him off in some way. I worry if he's okay, and if we're okay. I can usually control these fears to a certian point, and he knnows my breaking point. After one week I go completely mental, so even when things are crazy, he's sure to contact me after one week at the latest. And I do my best to be understanding and not misinterpret his absence.