Disinterested sex

[Colleen Thomas]

Most often, when we write sex scenes, the major palyers are highly interested in what is going on. Occasionally, some of us wander into realms where a character shouldn't be enjoying it, but even then, there is great emotion.

I have a situation in a WIP, where I wish the character to be comletely disinterested in the proceedings. Normally, when I see this done by others, the method is to leave it short, with a minimum of description. this method isn't working.

My question, for the assembled writers is this: Can you write detailed and enjoyable sex for the reader, while keeping the character emotionally detached? I don't wish to compromise the character, but I do want to write a descriptive and enjoyable sex scene for the reader.

Do you guys think this possible? If so, any ideas on how to accomplish it?

For set up, the character is a young woman who is trying to get a job at a strip club. She has no interest in men, but part of her "audition" is having sex with the club's owner, a tony Sopprano kind of character who dosen't lack charm, but is pretty sleezy.

 

[dreampilot79]

Collie

Yes it can be done... just because the character is disinterested doesn't mean she is unaware. Aware of the physical things happening, aware of her partner. Aware but not affected. You just need to divide the emotional from the physical.

Describe BOTH the physical and the lack of emotion. The mind on something else.

 

[elsol]

It really depends on the perspective and character.

I use a 'cold' character in certain stories, and it's easy for him because the entire story is detached.

You could approximate the behavior by detaching from the 'situation' prior to the sex... i.e. in the club, the character is ALL business.

Or

You could intro the sex scene with her thoughts about it and beating the 'this is just sex' mantra into the reader's head.

Finally, in the sex maintain the narrative to the purely physical. If the other sex scenes involve the character's personality and emotions, the sex scene stands out as different.

I'd write it almost as a pure STROKE scene; visceral but empty of content.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[gauchecritic]

Just a thought.

Perhaps a double POV piece. What he is feeling and requiring of her to feel, compared/contrasted with what she is actually feeling (and the need to butter up the interviewer).

"Oh yeah baby. You like Tony's meat huh?" he slavered in third person, spittle showering her face with every plosive syllable, puncuating his grunt and thrust.

Angel moaned softly as she caught sight of the bar clock informing her that she would be late again in picking up her daughter from mom's.

Tony knew he was good and decided he would make her scream with delight being urged by her low sultry moans as he sawed his erection deep within her soft welcoming labia.

Angel screamed as che craned her neck to check the time once more and pulled strands of dyed honey blonde hair out by the roots where the split ends snagged the rough edges of the desk.

 

[Guest]

And hit hard on her motivation; that she is having the sex in exchange for something tangible--not for her own enjoyment or to move a relationship forward.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Yes and no.

If I were writing this scene, I'd have her getting off on her power over this guy and on seeing his reaction to her. She wouldn't enjoy the physical aspects of the sex--the sensations--so much, but sex is at most 50% sensory anyhow. I think she could get off on the power. Power is sexy.

I've had sex with a couple of gay women. I'd like to say that it was because I was just so sexy they couldn't resist, but that wasn't the case. Both times there was a kind of triangle involved, where we both liked the same woman, or the third woman liked me, or some mess like that. In any case, they didn't enjoy the sex very much, but they got off on seeing my reactions and on being the object of my desire.

Taking pleasure is only part of the pleasure of sex, after all. Giving is even more fun.

But whatever you do, don't try and make her emotionally uninvolved. She can try to act uninvolved, but she'd better be bubbling below the surface. Sex without emotional involvement is just not sexy, unless it's downright sadistic.

 

[Penelope Street]

Can you write detailed and enjoyable sex for the reader, while keeping the character emotionally detached?

The answer depends on the definition of 'enjoyable' in the above context. Writing an arousing scene with a detached participant, particularly from that participant's POV, would be difficult. If the scene is part of a larger story, then it could be enjoyable as part of that story even if not stirring in an erotic manner.

 

[impressive]

I think sweet did a nice job of disinterest in her hooker story "Faded Rose" which was in v1 of Coming Together. Of course, in the end *snicker* she came around.

"Enjoyable" (as in "arousing") might be difficult to pull off ... but "enjoyable" (as in "entertaining") is very doable, IMO.

 

[Liar]

My question, for the assembled writers is this: Can you write detailed and enjoyable sex for the reader, while keeping the character emotionally detached? I don't wish to compromise the character, but I do want to write a descriptive and enjoyable sex scene for the reader.

Do you guys think this possible? If so, any ideas on how to accomplish it?

For set up, the character is a young woman who is trying to get a job at a strip club. She has no interest in men, but part of her "audition" is having sex with the club's owner, a tony Sopprano kind of character who dosen't lack charm, but is pretty sleezy.

I guess that a way to do it would be to focus on something else than the protagonists lust, but that can also be titillating erotically. Ok, she has no interrest in men, and I assume this isn't one of those "she meats an Alpha Male and is converted" kind of dumb stories....right?

So, she is not experiancing pleasure. But Sleaze is. If you focus on the control she have over him in that moment, or the exchange of control there, how although he is "in charge" on the big level (he gets to score), she controls him there and then. Makes him whimper in pleasure with one move, makes him lose his breath with another... that way you might drag it out and get a lot of details of the act down.

I remember reading a story about a man who fondles a woman, uses different toys etc. It's his point of view, but his interrest is not sexual, but academic, almost amused, noticing the reactions in the woman to his ministrations. It was quite hot, although the hero was neither sexually nor emotionally there.

 

[Mari J]

For set up, the character is a young woman who is trying to get a job at a strip club. She has no interest in men, but part of her "audition" is having sex with the club's owner, a tony Sopprano kind of character who dosen't lack charm, but is pretty sleezy.

In this setup, I don't think she would be disinterested; I think she'd have an internal conflict. She might feel guilty, or disgusted, or contemptuous. She might try to be interested somehow. She might have a wry review of his skills running in her head. Whatever it may be, conflict is interesting. Portray it along with the physical scene.

 

[Pure]

?

I do not see the problem. IIRC, the Story of O has many sex scenes where "O" is not undergoing pleasure, quite the contrary. She does it out of love (for the guy not there), etc.

I don't see reader arousal as dependent on Character X's arousal at all. To give a related example, I can imagine a prostitute telling me about last night's trick, giving lots of sex detail. That might do the trick, indeed knowing her indifference might heighten the effect.

 

[yui]

I'm not saying anything that hasn't already been said, but in the vane of internal dialogue and emotions, you could have her compare how a woman or man that she truly desired would do what the owner is doing to her; how the touch, the taste, the feel of this man is so very different, even if the actions are somewhat similar.

Your characters detachment would be obvious in her observations, yet you would have the titillation of her remembered desire and manual stimulation of her current predicament, maybe?

Or not.

Luck,

Yui

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Thanks for the comments everyone. I think i am hitting a wall that is more a matter of my own style than I first imagined. The control angle dosen't fit the character. In fact, nothing really fits her. I think I wanted the scene to highlight her complete disinterest in the wrold around her. And I wanted it to be hot as an after thought, since it's the lead in sex scene.

After some thought, I think i will back track to her intro and add a flashback scene to her recently left her lover. Maybe a shot scene of what she was like prior to her break up will do more to acccentuate her disinterest than complete indifference to sex will and I won't feel constrained to try for any level of enjoyment of that scene.

Thanks again for all th advice.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Yes and no.

If I were writing this scene, I'd have her getting off on her power over this guy and on seeing his reaction to her. She wouldn't enjoy the physical aspects of the sex--the sensations--so much, but sex is at most 50% sensory anyhow. I think she could get off on the power. Power is sexy.

I've had sex with a couple of gay women. I'd like to say that it was because I was just so sexy they couldn't resist, but that wasn't the case. Both times there was a kind of triangle involved, where we both liked the same woman, or the third woman liked me, or some mess like that. In any case, they didn't enjoy the sex very much, but they got off on seeing my reactions and on being the object of my desire.

Taking pleasure is only part of the pleasure of sex, after all. Giving is even more fun.

But whatever you do, don't try and make her emotionally uninvolved. She can try to act uninvolved, but she'd better be bubbling below the surface. Sex without emotional involvement is just not sexy, unless it's downright sadistic.

Bingo!