Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month?

[Isabella Thorne]

Well, it is and that means you (if you are a woman) or yours if you are a man.

Facts on Figures:

There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only eight who do.

Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14.

If Barbie were a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.

The average woman weighs 144 lb. And wears between a 12-14.

One out of every four college aged women has an eating disorder.

The models in the magazines are airbrushed – not perfect!

A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful.

Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less.
______________________________
Girl, you’ll be a woman... soon

I love you so much, can’t count all the ways
I’ve died for you girl and all they can say is
"he’s not your kind"
they never get tired of putting me down
and I’ll never know when I come around
what I’m gonna find
don’t let them make up your mind.
don’t you know...

Girl, you’ll be a woman soon,
please, come take my hand
girl, you’ll be a woman soon,
soon, you’ll need a man

I’ve been misunderstood for all of my life
but what they’re saying girl it cuts like a knife
"the boy’s no good"
well I’ve finally found what I’m a looking for
but if they get their chance they’ll end it for sure
surely would
baby I’ve done all I could
now it’s up to you...

Girl, you’ll be a woman soon,
please, come take my hand
girl, you’ll be a woman soon,
soon, you’ll need a man

~Urge Overkill~

 

[Guest]

Thank you, Isabella, for pointing out this very special celebration.

Let's all raise a glass and have a toast to us because we are all so very beautiful in our own special ways.

"Cheers!"

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Beauty of a Woman

... you are most welcome beautiful Enchantress ... enjoy the celebration darling ...


The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a womin is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years -- only grows.

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing," on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
_______________________________
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much
To go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna
Keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined
To achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened
The conviction in my soul

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms
Across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my
Brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

~Helen Reddy~

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Girl Power ...

I just received this wonderful email ... it's brilliant i tell you ...

LET'S GO GIRLS !

Take all North American women who are within five years of
menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing
standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is
formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to
protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from
our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of
us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with
whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by
lightning.

We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the
carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and
saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily
survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no
food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in
bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin
Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new
government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating
arrangements for in-laws and extended families at
Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal
warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every
trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank
accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money
and we know how to seize it ... with or without the
government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their
terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their
godforsaken terrain.

I'm going to write to the government. You should, too!
______________________________
No woman no cry
No woman no cry
No woman no cry
No woman no cry
Cause I remember when we used to sit
In a government yard in Trenchtown
Observing the hypocrites
Mingle with the good people we meet
Good friends we have, Oh, good friends we have lost
Along the way
In this great future,
You can't forget your past
So dry your tears, I seh
No woman no cry
No woman no cry
Little darling, don't shed no tears
No woman no cry
Said I remember when we use to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
And then Georgie would make the fire lights
I seh, log would burnin' through the nights
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge
Of which i'll share with you
My feet is my only carriage
And so i've got to push on thru,
Oh, while i'm gone
Everything 's gonna be alright
Everything 's gonna be alright
No woman no cry
No woman no cry
I seh little darlin'
Don't shed no tears
No woman no cry.

~Bob Marley~

 

[Basia]

Re: Girl Power ...

I just received this wonderful email ... it's brilliant i tell you ...

LET'S GO GIRLS !

Take all North American women who are within five years of
menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing
standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is
formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to
protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from
our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of
us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with
whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by
lightning.

We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the
carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and
saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily
survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no
food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in
bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin
Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new
government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating
arrangements for in-laws and extended families at
Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal
warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every
trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank
accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money
and we know how to seize it ... with or without the
government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their
terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their
godforsaken terrain.

I really like that Idea

 

[mig]

When I was about 10 yrs my dad told me that there was no
such thing as an ugly woman.

After 50 yrs I can confirm he was right.

At least,if there are, I've never met one.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Mommy dearest ...

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
____________________________
Kyle's mom's a bitch
She's a big fat bitch
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls
On Monday she's a bitch
On Tuesday she's a bitch
On Wednsday through Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a superkinkamayamayabeeatch
Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a mean 'ol bitch and she has stupid hair
She's a big big big big big big bitch
Big big big big big big big bitch, she's a stupid bitch
Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch

~South Park~

 

[Isabella Thorne]

A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch... do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
______________________________
Yeah she's such a beautiful woman
And she has so many ugly men
And when she goes to the market place
She'd leave all character at home.
And when she starts her conversation
Everyone of her friends would cry of shame
And she walks like a lady,
Acts like a lady, don't ask me why

Beautiful woman, beautiful woman, beautiful woman
Will drive you crazy

Look here! Here come Billy
And he's one of her ugly men
He says 'hello friend'
Then I began to tell the story
About this beautiful woman that I have seen
Then Billy turns to me and says:
'Looks like ev'ry woman is the same'
Then I shake my head and say:
'No Billy, let me tell you, I can't believe
ev'ry woman could be the same'

Look here! Here comes good ole Sam
Comes to town, meets this girl, falls in love
And the girl keep driving him crazy
She just actin' like a lady for a short while
And she walks like a lady, acts like a lady
Don't ask me why
But I know that when she gets warmed up,
Then she gets started
Then she gets crazy
She'll take off every piece of her clothes in the street

~Toots & the Maytals~

 

[lobito]

I don't know if I'm in the minority or not, but pretty much any woman who doesn't bitch at me is beautiful in my book. Physical isn't what's important, it's ALWAYS how someone is in their mind, at least for me.

So to ALL the beautiful women, happy beautiful women month!

 

[Marxist]

That wasn't Urge Overkill's song, it was Neil Diamond. But they do a beautiful version.


Oh well, I totally agree with you on the subject of this post. If I have to look at that Laura Flynn Boyle chick one more time I'm going fly to Hollywood myself and force feed her KFC through a hose.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

just so you know Marxist ...

i will also quote the name of the band who performs the song i post lyrics to ... not the writer ... i wanted you to listen to the Urge Overkill version ... not Neil's ...

i mean have you seen Pulp Fiction and hey it's my post ... s'ok baby?

and ummmmmm i happen to think Lara Flynn Boyle is pretty hot myself ...

i didn't write that joke i posted ... it was sent to me .... i thought it was funny ... that's all ...

i can appreciate beauty in Olive Oyl or Miss Piggy ... i hope you can too.

 

[XXplorher]

What separates ‘beautiful woman month’ from any other? Let me get this straight – you all get ugly the other 11? Not in my world, baby!

PS 'Barbie' is PLASTIC as well.

 

[ohiobbw]

(E-mailed to me by a friend!)


IT'S BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT'S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN.
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

WOMEN
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.
This has been sent to you from someone who respects you as a woman

 

[Marxist]

just so you know Marxist ...

i will also quote the name of the band who performs the song i post lyrics to ... not the writer ... i wanted you to listen to the Urge Overkill version ... not Neil's ...

That's cool, I prefer their version to Neil Diamond's anyway. But I have a soft spot for writers getting their due and Neil, like Dylan and Lou Reed is a great writer.

and ummmmmm i happen to think Lara Flynn Boyle is pretty hot myself ...

Just for future reference, I think most men would prefer the regular sized chica on the left (Kristen Johnson) to Lara (-1 dress size) in bed. Although everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

http://www.bergen.com/yourtime/images/johnson-kristen-091398.jpg

 

[Isabella Thorne]

well Marxist ...

i see what you mean about Neil Diamond being just as talented as Lou Reed and Bob Dylan ...

but i must point out, darling, that the main difference is that Lou Reed and Bob Dylan did not star in The Jazz Singer ... lmao ...

and oh yea about that pic ... i showed it to b/f and he went ga-ga over Kristen and then said "who is that in the pic with her?" hee hee ...

but i love Kristen Johnson too ... she is amazing ... but she has amazon proportions ... wow she is tall ... over 6 feet i think ... wouldn't most guys be intimidated by that? i means that's a hell of a lot of lovin' ... lol ...

 

[April]

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch... do it and die."

LOL I love that one.

 

[Marxist]

well Marxist ...

i see what you mean about Neil Diamond being just as talented as Lou Reed and Bob Dylan ...

but i must point out, darling, that the main difference is that Lou Reed and Bob Dylan did not star in The Jazz Singer ... lmao ...

Embarrassing moments: Lou Reed's "art rock" phase includes METAL MACHINE MUSIC, an entire album that could be duplicated by taking a drill to a metal railing. Dylan and the whole WHITE FACE POWDER, "I think I've just stuck my face in a whole bunch of coke or powdered sugar or Kabuki makeup" is about as low as the "Jazz Singer's" optimism.

I've dated at both ends of the spectrum and the Lara-sized girl was more traditionally pretty but I noticed men thought she was my little sister. My current girlfriend is of the tall and buxom class and let's just say few men don't take notice when we're together (what's she doing with that troll?). This is not to say I'd kick Lara out of bed for eating crackers but my morning erection might.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Rainy Day Woman ...

what's up with that Marxist? are you in love with Neil Diamond ... lmao ... Marxist wants to marry Neil Diamond na na na na na ... lol ...

well just so you know dear ... i have always been and always will be a rock chick ... lol ... so i guess you won't find me quoting Neil Diamond much ... and i don't see why it's up to me to defend Bob Dylan or Lou Reed ... if you prefer Neil Diamond ... go right ahead darling ... marry him even ... lol ... but don't start telling me who to admire and who to quote ....

respect my opinions as i respect yours .... after many years of trying to analyze music, i know that people have different musical tastes ... it is a given ... n'est-ce pas cheri? hey otherwise there wouldn't be so many different artists ...

buttt in my thread / post ... i get to quote my preferences ... not yours ... so may i suggest you start a Neil Diamond thread ... that way you can bond with fellow fans ...

and don't worry honey i am sure that Lara isn't holding her breath right now wondering whether she can give you a hard on ... lol ...

and

nice email OhioBBW ... thank you so much darling ... i couldn't help but notice dear ... obviously you are very comfortable with the label BBW ... do you find a lot of men are turned on by that? and what defines a BBW anyways? i mean you wouldn't call Kristen Johnson a BBW would you? i wonder ... maybe you would ... i was thinking more of that woman on The Practice ... what's her name? or Delta Burke maybe ... i think the term is more popular in england and maybe means something slightly different across the pond? hey there's another thought for my tomato thread ...
___________________________
Marxist and Neil Diamond
sitting in a tree
K*I*S*S*I*N*G
First comes love
then comes marriage
and then comes Marxist
with a baby carriage

 

[ohiobbw]

nice email OhioBBW ... thank you so much darling ... i couldn't help but notice dear ... obviously you are very comfortable with the label BBW ... do you find a lot of men are turned on by that? and what defines a BBW anyways? i mean you wouldn't call Kristen Johnson a BBW would you? i wonder ... maybe you would ... i was thinking more of that woman on The Practice ... what's her name? or Delta Burke maybe ... i think the term is more popular in england and maybe means something slightly different across the pond? hey there's another thought for my tomato thread ...

Glad you liked it!

I personally haven't meet any men in real life that are turned on by BBWs, just because they are. Or at least they don't openly admit it.

BBW is more than just any overweight woman, it's an attitude as well. A confident, beautiful woman, who just happens to be overweight. That's inner beauty as well as outer.

I wouldn't call Kristen Johnson a BBW, because she is not overweight. Shes tall, but otherwise in an average person. I do think she is beautiful though.

Camryn Manhaim (Not sure of the spelling, but she's the one on the Practice), I would call her a BBW in looks at least. I'm not sure about the attitude, never met her!

As far as Lara Flynn Boyle is concerned, I find her physically unattractive because she is so skinny. I know it's the same as someone who wouldn't like me because I am overweight, but, she just looks so unnatural. She may be a beautiful person on the inside and maybe she doesn't chose to be that skinny but I don't find her attractive. Of course I always prefer men and women that have a little meat on their bones.

The real reason I chose BBW in my title was because I was sick of people who would stop chatting with me when they found out I was overweight. So I put it in my name, to weed out some of those people right away. There's a few people that don't know what it means, but it helps. I also don't get that many PMs either.
Would I chose to be skinny if I could? Hell, yea. Even though I think I am beautiful right now. I would love to lose weight, but it doesn't happen. I eat well, exercise regularly, but the weight doesn't come off. However, I would not want to be as skinny as Lara Flynn Boyle. Give me Kristen Johnson any day.

 

[GuyJD]

I feel that ALL women should be honored for this great celebration for ALL women, in my opinion, are beautiful inside and out.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

ok see now i am a wee bit confused about the term "BBW" ...

cause it is supposed to mean Big Beautiful Woman, right?

not OBW ... Overweight Beautiful Woman ...

sooooo why wouldn't Kristen Johnson be a BBW? isn't that the way it is in England???

... hey can a Brit literotican help me out here ... pleeeeeease ... does BBW necessarily imply "overweight" in the UK??? i didn't think so ...

so maybe it does mean something different here in North America?

and ohiobbw ... you are definitely a beauty in my book ...
___________________________
Ain't no beauty Queens in this locality
I tell you
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still get my greatest treasure
Heap big woman
You gonna make a big man out of me

~Queen~

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Great Women quotes ...

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
.............................................................

Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
-Jan King-
..............................................................

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-
....................................................................

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your
girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-
.......................................................................

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-
.......................................................................

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-

.......................................................................

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

.........................................................................

Forty is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-
........................................................................

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

.........................................................................

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine Aird-

.......................................................................

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
......................................................................

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man-if you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
.......................................................................

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-
.......................................................................

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee-
.................................................................

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
.................................................................

 

[Isabella Thorne]

You bitch ...

Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their
professions.

The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young,
Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist"

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know....
Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know...Rich, Urban, Biker."
They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?"

She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you now....Wash, Iron, Fuck , Etc."

The second woman answers before being asked -"BITCH."

"What exactly is a BITCH?!?", they ask in unison.
"Babe In Total Control of Herself."

So ladies, next time somebody calls you "Bitch"
SMILE...and say "Thank You!!"
MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY! PASS THIS ONE ON!

 

[MacCortz]

Ultimate threat to the Talaban

Surrender or we will send your women to college!!!

There is a lot of beauty in your enlightend words.

 

[RoamingSpirit]

A beautiful woman...

comes in all shapes and sizes.
I think you're ALL beautiful!