Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month?
- Thread starter Isabella Thorne
- Start date
Mischka
Ms Snooby Pants
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- Mar 18, 2001
- Posts
- 15,820
Barbie's proportions, converted to human scale, were originally 39-18-33. Mattel updated her figure in the 1990 to make her more realistic, giving her the still unlikely stats of 39-22-35.
Anna Nicole Smith is 39-27-39. Couldn't find the stats for Pamela, though i do find it interesting that you cited two plastic women as the "real" life versions of Barbie.
Anna Nicole Smith is 39-27-39. Couldn't find the stats for Pamela, though i do find it interesting that you cited two plastic women as the "real" life versions of Barbie.
shyybabe
Shy but saucy
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- Jun 3, 2001
- Posts
- 5,522
Most Beautiful Woman - Mom
Got this in my mail today and wanted to share with all the moms for Beautiful Woman Month.
And Your Occupation is? Mother.
A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation.
"Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded. Before I could answer, and I didn't really have one handy, she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. What I mean is, explained the recorder, "Do you have a job, or are you just a .....?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."
"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it,"
said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title like official Interrogator or Town Registrar.
"And what is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ballpoint pen frozen in midair, and looked up as
though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters)." "Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model (6 months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another mother."
Motherhood,what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door.
Got this in my mail today and wanted to share with all the moms for Beautiful Woman Month.
And Your Occupation is? Mother.
A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation.
"Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded. Before I could answer, and I didn't really have one handy, she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. What I mean is, explained the recorder, "Do you have a job, or are you just a .....?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."
"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it,"
said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title like official Interrogator or Town Registrar.
"And what is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ballpoint pen frozen in midair, and looked up as
though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters)." "Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model (6 months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another mother."
Motherhood,what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door.
RisiaSkye
Artistic
- Joined
- May 1, 2000
- Posts
- 4,387
Isabella. Since you brought up Kristen Johnson--speaking for Amazonian women, yes many men are intimidated by a large woman. (I'm almost 6' tall, wear an F cup bra and a size 14--I think I need a diet, others tell me I'm wrong) But, just as many men aren't intimidated by it, actually find it attractive. And, we always get noticed. So, look for me: I'm the big blonde in high heeled boots and black leather, and I'm doing just fine. 
And Anna Nicole Smith, who Mischka dubbed "plastic" ? She's also an Amazon--5'10 1/2" tall. Her body's not impossible, just highly unlikely.
And Anna Nicole Smith, who Mischka dubbed "plastic" ? She's also an Amazon--5'10 1/2" tall. Her body's not impossible, just highly unlikely.
Mischka
Ms Snooby Pants
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2001
- Posts
- 15,820
I have no problem with Anna Nicole's height. I was simply referring to her "miraculous" chest increase after the birth of her child. She claimed she went from a B to a D+ after she gave birth. Problem is, it was about two years after she gave birth.
(6'? Geez, you're making me feel short. I'm scraping 5'10" on a good day.)
(6'? Geez, you're making me feel short. I'm scraping 5'10" on a good day.)
RisiaSkye
Artistic
- Joined
- May 1, 2000
- Posts
- 4,387
Hmm...then wouldn't she be a "glass woman?" (silicon) or "sea woman?" (saline)
Okay, now I'm just being nitpicky. I'm like that sometimes.
Heh...don't worry, I make lots of people feel short. 5'10" is a good height, I liked it. Then I started growing again when I was on the pill, at about 20. Weird.
Okay, now I'm just being nitpicky. I'm like that sometimes.
Heh...don't worry, I make lots of people feel short.
5'10" is a good height, I liked it. Then I started growing again when I was on the pill, at about 20. Weird.
Isabella Thorne
Saucy Ambassador of Tarty Foreign Affairs
- Joined
- May 5, 2000
- Posts
- 3,084
Leather and Lace
awwwwwwwww MacCortz dear ... you are so damn sweet ... any woman would be lucky to be with you ...
woww Risia ... i had no idea you were so amazonian, luv ... how luciously wonderful ... high heel boots and black leather??? yum yum ... i want me sum ... lol ...
and lucious Mischka ... she makes you feel short at 5'10"? ... geeez i must be close to invisible at 5'4" ... look down ... look waaaay down ... hee hee ...
thank you all for your wonderful contributions to this thread ... keep 'em cumming ...
__________________________
Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace
Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains...stay with me stay
I need you to love me...I need you to stay
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace
Take from me...my lace
~Stevie Nicks~
awwwwwwwww MacCortz dear ... you are so damn sweet ... any woman would be lucky to be with you ...
woww Risia ... i had no idea you were so amazonian, luv ... how luciously wonderful ... high heel boots and black leather??? yum yum ... i want me sum ... lol ...
and lucious Mischka ... she makes you feel short at 5'10"? ... geeez i must be close to invisible at 5'4" ... look down ... look waaaay down ... hee hee ...
thank you all for your wonderful contributions to this thread ... keep 'em cumming ...
__________________________
Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace
Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains...stay with me stay
I need you to love me...I need you to stay
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace
Take from me...my lace
~Stevie Nicks~
Marxist
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2001
- Posts
- 18,322
Re: Rainy Day Woman ...
I missed this earlier. Egad woman, get control of yourself.
Isabella Thorne said:what's up with that Marxist? are you in love with Neil Diamond ... lmao ... Marxist wants to marry Neil Diamond na na na na na ... lol ...
well just so you know dear ... i have always been and always will be a rock chick ... lol ... so i guess you won't find me quoting Neil Diamond much ... and i don't see why it's up to me to defend Bob Dylan or Lou Reed ... if you prefer Neil Diamond ... go right ahead darling ... marry him even ... lol ... but don't start telling me who to admire and who to quote ....
respect my opinions as i respect yours .... after many years of trying to analyze music, i know that people have different musical tastes ... it is a given ... n'est-ce pas cheri? hey otherwise there wouldn't be so many different artists ...
buttt in my thread / post ... i get to quote my preferences ... not yours ... so may i suggest you start a Neil Diamond thread ... that way you can bond with fellow fans ...
and don't worry honey i am sure that Lara isn't holding her breath right now wondering whether she can give you a hard on ... lol ...
___________________________
Marxist and Neil Diamond
sitting in a tree
K*I*S*S*I*N*G
First comes love
then comes marriage
and then comes Marxist
with a baby carriage
I missed this earlier. Egad woman, get control of yourself.
Isabella Thorne
Saucy Ambassador of Tarty Foreign Affairs
- Joined
- May 5, 2000
- Posts
- 3,084
Well I guess Beautiful Woman's Month is cumming to an end soon ... so ..... here's just one more ...
It's Armageddon and everyone on earth dies and are
waiting outside the gates for judgment. God comes and says,
"I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the
men that dominated their women on earth and the other
line is for the men that were dominated by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
With that said and done, the next time God looked,
the women are gone and there are two lines.
The line of the men that were dominated by their women
was 1000's of miles long, and in the line of men that
dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of
yourselves. I created you in my image and you were
all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my
sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!
Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one
in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me
to stand here."
_______________________
pssssssssst Marxist darling - i am most certainly in control of myself ... it was you who was out of control .... that's why i ribbed ya ....
It's Armageddon and everyone on earth dies and are
waiting outside the gates for judgment. God comes and says,
"I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the
men that dominated their women on earth and the other
line is for the men that were dominated by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
With that said and done, the next time God looked,
the women are gone and there are two lines.
The line of the men that were dominated by their women
was 1000's of miles long, and in the line of men that
dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of
yourselves. I created you in my image and you were
all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my
sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!
Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one
in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me
to stand here."
_______________________
pssssssssst Marxist darling - i am most certainly in control of myself ... it was you who was out of control .... that's why i ribbed ya ....
