Dear X

[Tallulah82]

Dear Benedict Cumberbatch,

WHEN are you going to come into my life and sweep me away for a wild weekend?!

I cannot wait forever.

Ok, I can. Just please come do me before I'm on my death bed. Ok, you can do me on my death bed too.

Sincerely,

Your Cumberbitch.

 

[Tallulah82]

Dear Santa,

Look we both know what I've done and I'm not going to bother defending myself because I don't regret any of it. Oh, except maybe sending that nude to that one guy. You know which one I mean. Big mistake.

But if you're expecting me to be sorry for all the other stuff, well, come and stuff my stocking with coal and let me revel in burning it.

Sincerely,

I should be on the nice list because I don't punch idiots in the face.

Oh, PS, I'm also not sorry about doing that thing I did to myself when I was thinking of you either. And I think you need coal in your own stocking if you try and claim you didn't like it.

 

[LeSabreur]

Dear Mr Penis,

During this holiday season I feel especially warm and happy, overcome at times with joy and gratitude. It's important to tell the people who are dear to us how much we love them. I want you to know how much I love you, and how grateful I am for you. You are my oldest, dearest, most faithful friend. You've always been there for me, in good times and bad, have always been with me during celebrations and when I needed consolation, and I know that you will be with me right until the end. You have always forgiven me when I make mistakes, when I hurt you, or when I neglect you.

Of course I think of you every day, and no night passes without us holding hands, reassuring me that we will always be together, that you will help me face anything life sends my way. I love you, my dearest friend, my brother, my comrade in good times and bad, my staunchest ally and sturdy, reliable pal. I wish you the happiest of holidays, now and forever.

With deepest love, gratitude and admiration,

LeSabreur

PS: My New Year's resolution is to give you more fresh air & sunlight, to take you and The Boys on more outings, and to introduce you to more new friends!

 

[Mrtenant]

Dear New Year,

I need a break. Not like a lunchbreak. Just, you know, the winds of change could start blowing in my favor. You know.

Still hanging tough Lister

 

[MedicalMuse]

Dear New Year,

I need a break. Not like a lunchbreak. Just, you know, the winds of change could start blowing in my favor. You know.

Still hanging tough Lister

Dear MrT,
My fingers are crossed.

MM

 

[LeSabreur]

Dear Universe, erm...Sir...or, Lord, Master or, erm, Mistress,

I appreciate the opportunities that you have given me. As always, I appreciate the chance to feel more patience, more acceptance, more gratitude, and more humility. These are qualities that I clearly need reinforced.

As I eagerly await additional opportunities for growth and enlightenment, I rededicate myself to serving you on your relentless and eternal mission to achieve higher states of entropy.

Meanwhile, if, in your infinite wisdom, you saw fit to give me a week or two off from the training regimen, I would be super grateful, m'kay?

Love ya lots!

LS

 

[Tallulah82]

Dear January,

I told you last year not to behave that way and did you listen? Did you? No, you didn't! You just thought it hilarious to come at me from a different angle this time. Well, the joke's on you because I've gotten over it faster and stronger than last year. We're barely into February and I'm kicking ass again.

So this is your final warning. Next year, I'll be waiting with a baseball bat and believe me, whilst my aim may not be professional, I will swing that motherfucker repeatedly until I hit you in the balls. Many times.

Sincerely,

Me.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Dear January,

I told you last year not to behave that way and did you listen? Did you? No, you didn't! You just thought it hilarious to come at me from a different angle this time. Well, the joke's on you because I've gotten over it faster and stronger than last year. We're barely into February and I'm kicking ass again.

So this is your final warning. Next year, I'll be waiting with a baseball bat and believe me, whilst my aim may not be professional, I will swing that motherfucker repeatedly until I hit you in the balls. Many times.

Sincerely,

Me.

You make me want to stalk you when you get all dirty like this...