Dear X

[Tallulah82]

Dear Benedict Cumberbatch,

WHEN are you going to come into my life and sweep me away for a wild weekend?!

I cannot wait forever.

Ok, I can. Just please come do me before I'm on my death bed. Ok, you can do me on my death bed too.

Sincerely,

Your Cumberbitch.

 

[Tallulah82]

Dear Santa,

Look we both know what I've done and I'm not going to bother defending myself because I don't regret any of it. Oh, except maybe sending that nude to that one guy. You know which one I mean. Big mistake.

But if you're expecting me to be sorry for all the other stuff, well, come and stuff my stocking with coal and let me revel in burning it.

Sincerely,

I should be on the nice list because I don't punch idiots in the face.

Oh, PS, I'm also not sorry about doing that thing I did to myself when I was thinking of you either. And I think you need coal in your own stocking if you try and claim you didn't like it.

 

[LeSabreur]

Dear Mr Penis,

During this holiday season I feel especially warm and happy, overcome at times with joy and gratitude. It's important to tell the people who are dear to us how much we love them. I want you to know how much I love you, and how grateful I am for you. You are my oldest, dearest, most faithful friend. You've always been there for me, in good times and bad, have always been with me during celebrations and when I needed consolation, and I know that you will be with me right until the end. You have always forgiven me when I make mistakes, when I hurt you, or when I neglect you.

Of course I think of you every day, and no night passes without us holding hands, reassuring me that we will always be together, that you will help me face anything life sends my way. I love you, my dearest friend, my brother, my comrade in good times and bad, my staunchest ally and sturdy, reliable pal. I wish you the happiest of holidays, now and forever.

With deepest love, gratitude and admiration,

LeSabreur

PS: My New Year's resolution is to give you more fresh air & sunlight, to take you and The Boys on more outings, and to introduce you to more new friends!