Dear X

[Tallulah82]

Dear Benedict Cumberbatch,

WHEN are you going to come into my life and sweep me away for a wild weekend?!

I cannot wait forever.

Ok, I can. Just please come do me before I'm on my death bed. Ok, you can do me on my death bed too.

Sincerely,

Your Cumberbitch.

 

[Tallulah82]

Dear Santa,

Look we both know what I've done and I'm not going to bother defending myself because I don't regret any of it. Oh, except maybe sending that nude to that one guy. You know which one I mean. Big mistake.

But if you're expecting me to be sorry for all the other stuff, well, come and stuff my stocking with coal and let me revel in burning it.

Sincerely,

I should be on the nice list because I don't punch idiots in the face.

Oh, PS, I'm also not sorry about doing that thing I did to myself when I was thinking of you either. And I think you need coal in your own stocking if you try and claim you didn't like it.

 

[LeSabreur]

Dear Mr Penis,

During this holiday season I feel especially warm and happy, overcome at times with joy and gratitude. It's important to tell the people who are dear to us how much we love them. I want you to know how much I love you, and how grateful I am for you. You are my oldest, dearest, most faithful friend. You've always been there for me, in good times and bad, have always been with me during celebrations and when I needed consolation, and I know that you will be with me right until the end. You have always forgiven me when I make mistakes, when I hurt you, or when I neglect you.

Of course I think of you every day, and no night passes without us holding hands, reassuring me that we will always be together, that you will help me face anything life sends my way. I love you, my dearest friend, my brother, my comrade in good times and bad, my staunchest ally and sturdy, reliable pal. I wish you the happiest of holidays, now and forever.

With deepest love, gratitude and admiration,

LeSabreur

PS: My New Year's resolution is to give you more fresh air & sunlight, to take you and The Boys on more outings, and to introduce you to more new friends!

 

[Mrtenant]

Dear New Year,

I need a break. Not like a lunchbreak. Just, you know, the winds of change could start blowing in my favor. You know.

Still hanging tough Lister

 

[MedicalMuse]

Dear New Year,

I need a break. Not like a lunchbreak. Just, you know, the winds of change could start blowing in my favor. You know.

Still hanging tough Lister

Dear MrT,
My fingers are crossed.

MM

 

[LeSabreur]

Dear Universe, erm...Sir...or, Lord, Master or, erm, Mistress,

I appreciate the opportunities that you have given me. As always, I appreciate the chance to feel more patience, more acceptance, more gratitude, and more humility. These are qualities that I clearly need reinforced.

As I eagerly await additional opportunities for growth and enlightenment, I rededicate myself to serving you on your relentless and eternal mission to achieve higher states of entropy.

Meanwhile, if, in your infinite wisdom, you saw fit to give me a week or two off from the training regimen, I would be super grateful, m'kay?

Love ya lots!

LS

 

[Tallulah82]

Dear January,

I told you last year not to behave that way and did you listen? Did you? No, you didn't! You just thought it hilarious to come at me from a different angle this time. Well, the joke's on you because I've gotten over it faster and stronger than last year. We're barely into February and I'm kicking ass again.

So this is your final warning. Next year, I'll be waiting with a baseball bat and believe me, whilst my aim may not be professional, I will swing that motherfucker repeatedly until I hit you in the balls. Many times.

Sincerely,

Me.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Dear January,

I told you last year not to behave that way and did you listen? Did you? No, you didn't! You just thought it hilarious to come at me from a different angle this time. Well, the joke's on you because I've gotten over it faster and stronger than last year. We're barely into February and I'm kicking ass again.

So this is your final warning. Next year, I'll be waiting with a baseball bat and believe me, whilst my aim may not be professional, I will swing that motherfucker repeatedly until I hit you in the balls. Many times.

Sincerely,

Me.

You make me want to stalk you when you get all dirty like this...

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

Dearest Mother Nature,

We are all concerned for your safety and well being. Please, go back on your medication. Swinging through three seasons in a single day is a bit much.

Sincerely,
Confused as to what to wear

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Dear life,
What did I do to you? Please stop.
You jerk!
Me

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Dear BPD...
Thank you for staying away For the majority of the last few months!!!
You intervene when you think you need to, but you're not needed now...I deserve regulated days...
Me

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Dear Mom,
Yesterday was two years without you. The twins posted on FB, but I didn't. Doesn't mean I miss you less, just that I still can't process your loss in front of family and friends. Just strangers on the internet. We have a birthday celebration tomorrow, so we will definitely be thinking of you. I will sit in your chair and we will laugh at funny memories of you. And Dad will cry because you were his world and he wants to be back with you. But I'm selfish and want to keep him here longer. I love you so much so I wouldn't want you suffering anymore, but I will always wish you were here. I'm getting sassier just like you. Maybe one day I'll slap a sibling for no reason like you. Or talk craziness after a surgery like you. I just wish I didn't get your weird allergies and other health issues.
I love you!
Your Mini-me

 

[cheekygirl75]

Dear Mom,
Yesterday was two years without you. The twins posted on FB, but I didn't. Doesn't mean I miss you less, just that I still can't process your loss in front of family and friends. Just strangers on the internet. We have a birthday celebration tomorrow, so we will definitely be thinking of you. I will sit in your chair and we will laugh at funny memories of you. And Dad will cry because you were his world and he wants to be back with you. But I'm selfish and want to keep him here longer. I love you so much so I wouldn't want you suffering anymore, but I will always wish you were here. I'm getting sassier just like you. Maybe one day I'll slap a sibling for no reason like you. Or talk craziness after a surgery like you. I just wish I didn't get your weird allergies and other health issues.
I love you!
Your Mini-me

Oh man, you lost her right before her birthday and Mother’s Day? That’s extra super rough

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Oh man, you lost her right before her birthday and Mother’s Day? That’s extra super rough

Not her birthday, my brother in laws which super sucked for him because he had already lost both his parents and considered my parents his adopted parents. Now his birthday always feels a little depressing.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Dear Mom,
Yesterday was two years without you. The twins posted on FB, but I didn't. Doesn't mean I miss you less, just that I still can't process your loss in front of family and friends. Just strangers on the internet. We have a birthday celebration tomorrow, so we will definitely be thinking of you. I will sit in your chair and we will laugh at funny memories of you. And Dad will cry because you were his world and he wants to be back with you. But I'm selfish and want to keep him here longer. I love you so much so I wouldn't want you suffering anymore, but I will always wish you were here. I'm getting sassier just like you. Maybe one day I'll slap a sibling for no reason like you. Or talk craziness after a surgery like you. I just wish I didn't get your weird allergies and other health issues.
I love you!
Your Mini-me

Sending you all the love and hugs and support, my dear friend. It’s one of the hardest things ever.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Sending you all the love and hugs and support, my dear friend. It’s one of the hardest things ever.

Thank you! I took lunch to Dad and he started crying.

 

[Dribble]

Thank you! I took lunch to Dad and he started crying.

People think we are strong. We are not. We are only strong when we have to be. But with time...our defenses drop...and those we love...who won't judge us...sees us for what we always have been.

 

[Tallulah82]

Dear television set, kettle, and phone,

Please keep going. I know you're getting old and you're limping along, each day being turned on instead of being retired. I swear I'm going to replace you as soon as I can. But until I've paid the builder and made sure I can afford that fancy range cooker I want, then you HAVE to keep going, ok?!

Just another couple of months. Honest.

Sincerely,

Broke as fuck, ignoring the credit options.

 

[MrPimms]

Dear television set, kettle, and phone,

Please keep going. I know you're getting old and you're limping along, each day being turned on instead of being retired. I swear I'm going to replace you as soon as I can. But until I've paid the builder and made sure I can afford that fancy range cooker I want, then you HAVE to keep going, ok?!

Just another couple of months. Honest.

Sincerely,

Broke as fuck, ignoring the credit options.

Dear Tallulah,

You’ve turned me on more times than you’ve turned on anyone else in this house. I do your bidding without fuss, all I ask is your firm grip around my handle and drain me once a day. You know it always tastes better when it’s fresh. I’ll go out on my own terms and usually when you’re most needing me.

Love,

Kettle.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Dear X,

It's been 20 years and I still miss you the same as at the beginning. I'll never get over you.

Love, your little sister

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Dear World,
I know you are already struggling with global warming. I shouldn't have had broccoli two days in row.
My deepest apologies.
Constant Gas

 

[MissSNG]

Dear X,

It’s been 12 years since the last time we hooked up so why do I still think about you?
I’m so glad we’re still friends and that we keep in touch but I’m even more glad you moved far far away otherwise I think I’d have done something foolish by now.
I wonder if you think about those past times too? The last time it came up you said you did but that was years ago.
If only you wanted me in the same way I wanted you.

Ah well

Sincerely,
Missing the hot sex

 

[dreamysub]

Dear X,

Are you sad and hurt because of me?

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Dear OS,
You want to know why you are always passed over for promotion? This. This exactly. I gave you specific instructions on what to do, but you did it "your way", which is almost always the WRONG way. Now you have screwed it up even worse. Now it has to go to main office to get fixed by programmers because you think you know best. Don't give me a sob story about how I'm supposed to help you advance your career when YOU are your greatest enemy.
Sick of your crap,
Stabby Supervisor

 

[Mrtenant]

Dear DM,

If I had known I was going to be notorious for fucking you when I didn't even kiss you- we would have been fucking. I wish that bastard Paul had never said that was the rumor. I feel like we missed out. It would have been epic. That's all.

Signed,

Only in my dreams