Dear X

[averagesizeguy]

Dear Ex Husband (not that you were ever any kind of husband, but whatever):

You know, I tried to be friends after our split. I paid for the divorce, I paid for your move, I gave you money and let you take everything you wanted from our 13 years together, even though I bought most of it because you were a lazy bum.

But when you keep promising you're going to take time out of your busy life with that nasty ho you moved into your home less than 30 days after our split (and yeah, I get it, you can't be alone, so a ho is better than nothing at all) to come get the rest of your crap, you need to hold to your word.

You didn't, I gave you four different opportunities. And you bailed every time. So guess what?

Today I had it all hauled away. Your tools, the flat screen TV, the tables you wanted, the BBQ grill that you only used once or twice. Everything you said you were going to come get is now in some guy's truck, and you're screwed.

So, fuck you very much. We're done, finally. Enjoy your life

Signed,
Your Ex Wife, which is the best thing that I ever did for myself.

Because Kentucky was quoted again, and now I have the proper meme repsonse.

http://i1074.photobucket.com/albums/w409/averagesizeguy/Mobile%20Uploads/14079919_590658867783024_2978707794260291937_n_zpsan5tqtzz.jpg

 

[BlackCashmere]

Dear X (I wish...):

Remember all that energy I put into the kids? Well guess what. They just both moved out. Now I have time and energy to put into making sure you follow them out the door quickly. Shit gonna get real. Real soon...

 

[BlackCashmere]

Dear woman who is dating my soon to be ex,

I have two questions:

1) Why would you insert yourself into a my relationship with my soon to be ex? Just because you don't have one with yours, doesn't mean I can't have one with mine. Telling my daughter that she can walk with you daughter to school when my daughter is at her father's is NOT your decision.
a) I am her mother. This kind of decision needs to be made between her father and I. NOT YOU.

2) Why would you do this to another woman, you've been there. You have been cheated on and you should know how this feels. Honestly, I don't care that you are with my soon to be ex. The marriage has been over for years But, as a woman, I just don't understand.

You have four beautiful daughters and this is what you're showing them. That it is okay to date a man who is married and to insert yourself into their relationship when it comes to THEIR children. I don't care what happened with you and your ex. My relationship with my soon to be ex is different - in the sense that we could actually be friends - because we have kids.

Another question I have is why would you think he is a good role model for your girls? He doesn't even have a great relationship with his own daughter!

You and he are on your way to having a nice little meeting with me. And if you think you're helping him - you're hurting him. He is going to be hurting so much after I am through if we go through court.

We'll see how it ends,

the soon to be ex-wife

Sorry you have to endure this...

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Soon to be Ex,

The internet is a wonderful place. The info you can find -like the house you purchased. Are you stupid???????

Signed,

We've not even filed yet.....see you in court!

 

[Azuldrgon]

Dear Soon to be Ex,

The internet is a wonderful place. The info you can find -like the house you purchased. Are you stupid???????

Signed,

We've not even filed yet.....see you in court!

Dear Above:
Dammmmmmmnnn!!!

Signed,
Cheering for you from the sidelines.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Above:
Dammmmmmmnnn!!!

Signed,
Cheering for you from the sidelines.

He keeps digging that hole deeper and deeper!!!

 

[ydahecnot]

Dear X,

The six should each have their own day. Otherwise, the first in line is gonna have a helluva advantage.

X

 

[Matt_Next_Door]

Dear Soon to be Ex,

The internet is a wonderful place. The info you can find -like the house you purchased. Are you stupid???????

Signed,

We've not even filed yet.....see you in court!

Dear See you in court,

Being stupid and a dick are not the qualities you deserve.

The journey is no fun but the light at the end of the tunnel will certainly unburden you of baggage you should no longer have to carry.

We all have you in our thoughts and heart. Keep the sunshine flowing and your head up.

Signed,

McDB

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear Hormones,

WTF??

Give it a rest already, I'm out of Kleenex!

And sea-salt caramel dark chocolate, too.

Signed,
Believe me when I say, I would send us on vacation if I could Litster

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Half Pitcher of Margaritas,

You and I are NOT friends.

Signed,

Almost got sick, but didn't.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Dear Boogeyman,

It has been 31 years since you took away my friend. I try not to dwell on what you took away, but sometimes it is uncontrollable. Some days I think about visiting you and asking you why, but I know you'd never give me answers. Sometimes, I stare at the Prison and wish that inside those walls, you were being treated the same way you treated my friend. I know it is horrible of me to sit here and wish that you were getting raped over and over again, To wish that you were getting beaten over and over and maybe I will go to Hell for that. But what you did to her, is unthinkable!! Those pictures are permanently stuck in my head.
Even the skies were angry yesterday when I brought flowers to her memorial tree yesterday. You hurt so many people and I know you don't care.
I'm angry that I have allowed you to take away my feelings of security. I'm scared of everything now. My poor kids have had to deal with my fears as well. I hate being alone. I sleep with a gun.
Maybe this is why I try and control everything else that I can. Cause I cannot control the things you took away.
Signed,
Still suffering more than I should...

 

[Xerxes82]

Dear Coworkers,

I've long since accepted that simple competence is beyond you, and that you lack the motivation to even strive for mediocrity, but while you're being incompetent fuckwits, could you at least try and not make my job harder on a daily basis? Just one day a week where your stupidity can be somebody else's problem, that's all I ask.

Sincerely, Not Entirely Sure Why I Still Give a Fuck

 

[ydahecnot]

Dear Hormones,

WTF??

Give it a rest already, I'm out of Kleenex!

And sea-salt caramel dark chocolate, too.

Signed,
Believe me when I say, I would send us on vacation if I could Litster

Dear hormonal Litster,

I hate running out of Kleenex.

Dry dock Litster

 

[Matt_Next_Door]

Dear Almost Got Sick,

Make sure you filter out the worm before you make those margaritas....


Signed

Ex tequila sampler

 

[Xerxes82]

Dear woman who stopped me at the store about my leggings,

Your statement about not being "brave" enough to wear leggings out of the house because of "our" size , let alone "loud patterned ones" really rubbed me the wrong way!

First off, why is it considered brave to wear something that is comfortable and colorful and that I feel good in?

and secondly, no one thinks to twice if a tiny little blonde chick walks around with the word "juicy" in hot pink on her ass but if a curvier woman goes out with anything less than frumpy pants on then she gets disapproving looks

Its ridiculous and I for one am not going to buy in to the double standard anymore

When I bought my first pair of LulaRoe leggings (known for its cute patterns and buttery soft leggings that i want to be buried in...oooh hellooo softness!) i was nervous and self conscious and hesitated over leggings that I loved because I was afraid of people just like you who would try to make me shameful and "too fat" for wearing them

How dare you



sincerely,
I'm going to rock my leggings anyway

Dear I'm sure you looked Sexy AF Litster,

Good for you! Be yourself, and to hell with anyone who says otherwise.

Sincerely,

Confidence and comfort in being who you are is attractive on every level.

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Dear X

We tried, but things got complicated at home for you. See ya next week at our regular place.

 

[makemewet69]

Dear sexy man candy,

Thank you for your support, encouragement, and support. It was a big day and you helped make it even better by being such a positive force. Thank you

 

[Xerxes82]

Dear sweet one,

Has your signature always included a quote from The Doctor????


sincerely,
nerding out

Dear inquisitive and cultured beauty,

Only since my last regeneration.

Sincerely,
Lost in a blue box

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Dear X,

I'm so happy you gave notice yesterday. You've been difficult to work with and you're obviously "above" the job you were hired for.

The fact that you only have one week and ate leaving before month end really speaks to your character and integrity. I certainly hope you get what you deserve in your next job, wherever that may be.

Signed,
Not even gonna complain about Covering your desk while we sift through resumes...

 

[TheSilverLining]

Grump.

 

[Xerxes82]

Dear cable company,

You suck. No, that's really the crux of the matter. You suck.

Sincerely,
Future Satellite Customer

 

[barefootgirl69]

Dear Ex-husband, I almost wish I had been in the courtroom today instead of on the phone just so I could have seen your face when the judge denied your motion!

I know it's wrong to laugh at another's misfortune, but you've been a jerk to me for so long that, when he told you that what you give me is a pittance to what you earn and if you needed more to live on to get a second job to fulfill your spousal support, I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

After 20 years of your bullshit and abuse, I'll take the pittance gladly. It's the least you could do.

If anyone thinks this is cruel and he was done wrong, PM me for the amounts... you'll see he's getting a good deal.

Signed,

Thrilled after months of stressing over his bullshit

 

[BlackCashmere]

Dear Ex-husband, I almost wish I had been in the courtroom today instead of on the phone just so I could have seen your face when the judge denied your motion!

I know it's wrong to laugh at another's misfortune, but you've been a jerk to me for so long that, when he told you that what you give me is a pittance to what you earn and if you needed more to live on to get a second job to fulfill your spousal support, I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

After 20 years of your bullshit and abuse, I'll take the pittance gladly. It's the least you could do.

If anyone thinks this is cruel and he was done wrong, PM me for the amounts... you'll see he's getting a good deal.

Signed,

Thrilled after months of stressing over his bullshit

I am happy for your outcome...Hug

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Dear ex,

Two months later and every part of me wants to call you and scream at you. "Why did you fuck this up???"

Our breakup is all on you. We had something truly great for awhile before you blindsided me and went all junior high on me. You're the one that looks sad in all this, because unbeknownst to me, you never knew what you wanted. You did damage that not many have ever done to me: you made me doubt myself.

And I hate that I even still think about you. You've destroyed my ability to trust and ruined my desire be with anyone. Women just sicken and disgust me now because I've been trained to believe that it's all going to end like this. With me wanting to just fucking eat a bullet.

I'm fighting like fucking mad to get out of this awful place. Some days are good. Today I'm like a house that just got leveled by a hurricane.

Fuck This Shit. Seriously.

 

[BlackCashmere]

Dear ex,

Two months later and every part of me wants to call you and scream at you. "Why did you fuck this up???"

Our breakup is all on you. We had something truly great for awhile before you blindsided me and went all junior high on me. You're the one that looks sad in all this, because unbeknownst to me, you never knew what you wanted. You did damage that not many have ever done to me: you made me doubt myself.

And I hate that I even still think about you. You've destroyed my ability to trust and ruined my desire be with anyone. Women just sicken and disgust me now because I've been trained to believe that it's all going to end like this. With me wanting to just fucking eat a bullet.

I'm fighting like fucking mad to get out of this awful place. Some days are good. Today I'm like a house that just got leveled by a hurricane.

Fuck This Shit. Seriously.

Dear you...

I am so sorry you have had to endure this...I wish I could just hop through the screen and give you a long overdue hug...I know these words wont really be comforting...Heartache and hurt are an enigma of their own...I hope you don't lose trust and belief in the good in others...Easier said than done too...I think we have all been there at some time and for many of us, many times...and Trust is a huge thing to build back up, especially thinking how things have unfolded in the past...I hope you can surround yourself with the ones who truly care for you and see your worth...

I have said it before to you and will say it here...You have no idea how truly special you are...You are a big Teddy bear with a heart of gold...I love how you always lift others up and make us smile constantly with your wit, warmth and humor...

Her loss indeed...

Come hang with me...I will pump you back up...

It is hurtful yes, but just another step in the journey to getting to where you need to be and with whom...and that will be the best gift...Never lose hope...that is different than trust which you can build back...Hope sustains...

Now I am rambling...but i just wanted to say I think you are terrific...