Dear X

[MSH2]

Dear Random PMers,


What? Do I have a sign above my avatar that reads "PM me...I'd love to talk with random strange men who find the need to tell me how well hung they are?" And yes, I have absolutely no problem just routinely giving out my messenger info. just so I can chat with the likes of you. I especially admire how you found one post of mine from like 2 years ago and based your judgment that I "seem fun" because of what I wrote then.

I will not bother to reply because that would somehow invite more conversation from such studworthiness.

~Daizie

Dear Not replying Litster,

Damn, does that mean I;m too late to get in my measurements for your approval?

Very disappointed,

Me

 

[lovemonster]

Dear LM

You'd make a fab one hon.

Yours wickedly

Morri

Dear Wookey Hole Owners,

I'd like to present the above as a character reference.

How can you refuse?

LM
x

 

[Daizie]

Dear Not replying Litster,

Damn, does that mean I;m too late to get in my measurements for your approval?

Very disappointed,

Me

Dear Disappointed Me,

Grrrrr.

Sincerely,
Non-replyer

 

[MSH2]

Dear Disappointed Me,

Grrrrr.

Sincerely,
Non-replyer

Dear sincere Non-replyer,

I didnt mean it, honest Its not my style, in fact I'm not in the habit of randomly PMing people at all

Angelic,

Me

 

[Daizie]

Dear sincere Non-replyer,

I didnt mean it, honest Its not my style, in fact I'm not in the habit of randomly PMing people at all

Angelic,

Me

Dear Angelic,

Relax. You're off the hook.

~The Flowery One

 

[omahaman2]

Dear local Lowes,

I need to get something measured, so I can submit it for approval to certain people. Do you have anybody around tomorrow to do some measuring.

Seeking approval litser

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear local Lowes,

I need to get something measured, so I can submit it for approval to certain people. Do you have anybody around tomorrow to do some measuring.

Seeking approval litser

Dear Litster Seeking Approval,

Usually, we measure something twice, and only before we cut. I doubt this is the sort of service you're looking for, so perhaps contacting the Guiness Records people would be more helpful.

Poised with the Table Saw in the Red Vest

 

[omahaman2]

Dear one in the red vest,

You know,you are a real cut up! Thank you for your advice. I didn't
think you had any measuring instrument long enough anyway.

Long john Oman


Dear guiness book publisher,

I would like to make a submission to your book. Please reserve pages 298 to 345. Thank you.

making jenny smile big litser

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Dear one in the red vest,

You know,you are a real cut up! Thank you for your advice. I didn't
think you had any measuring instrument long enough anyway.

Long john Oman


Dear guiness book publisher,

I would like to make a submission to your book. Please reserve pages 298 to 345. Thank you.

making jenny smile big litser

Dear making jenny smile litser,

You definitely don't need measuring, and you always make jenny smile.

Love from a very smiley jenny

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Universe,

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

That is all.

Love,
Me

 

[GoldenGams]

Dear Online Stalker:

I was gracious enough to reply to your email after you found me, but I never gave you permission to call my office! Chill already!


Dear Leonard (ol' Forgetful):

Since you could not be bothered to find the money in our budget, I am paying for my professional development class myself. I do not expect this to come up in my next review!


Dear FooFoo No. 1:

If you were worth a damn, you could go anywhere and name your price. But you're too damn sloppy! You being you is costing you a lot of money.

Dear FooFoo No. 2:

Stop being FF No. 1's clone.


Dear Half FooFoo:

This is an office, sweetie. It's time to give those belly shirts up, especially if you keep eating lunch with FF 1 and 2.

 

[indecisiviously]

Dear Large Green Bug Currently Residing On My Ceiling,

Who let you in?

And what's with the clicking? Is that some sort of mating call? Sorry, but your not my type.

Nice legs, though.

Puzzledly yours,

...i

 

[NattyBumppo]

Dear Dear Litster Poster Otherwise Known As Daizie,

What a great post! In fact, I had something similar in mind since there seems to be a surfeit of that going on at Lit. Instead, I'll just piggyback on your post and thank all those random male Litsters who tell me how lucky I am to be with a certain someone despite the fact that I've actually been with the woman and they've never even laid eyes on her. Or those other Random PMers who think that their PM's to that certain someone aren't being shared with me; like the ones that suggested that she Fuck your boyfriend, come play with me; while Natty's away, can I help you with that?; or the ever-popular unsolicited cock pictures. It's truly refreshing to realize that chivalry isn't dead.

Again, thank you for opening the door. I hope I can return the favor someday.

Piggybacking Litster

 

[janeyl]

Dear Mount Vesuvius erupting on my face,

I've tried hard to ignore you but you're in my eyeline when I look down and I don't like it. Despite all the advice not to interfere, concealer just aint cutting it any more so it's time for you and I to part ways and for me to continue my journey alone without you. Please don't leave me with a scar-I had very few of your brothers when I was a teenager so I don't like you plaguing me now when I'm 42-just stay gone once I've sorted you out ok?

Sincerely

Unwilling to remain spotty litster

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Drugs,

While I like that you do what you do, and keep my quality of life....quality, your side effects blow.

I wish you would not keep me in a perpetual state of fatigue. Can't you do something about that?

 

[aa11xxmark]

Dear Osteopath,

Just wondering HOW on earth you expect me to be able to work tomorrow after what you have done to me?
I hope the aches, pain and excrutiating headache depart my body as quickly as the huge amount of cash from my wallet to pay for your torture did!!

Aching mark xx

 

[AphroditeReborn]

Dear Muse,

Please come back to me. I promise not to neglect you anymore for World of Warcraft if you just come home *on my knees begging*

Sincerely,

I'm-Disappointing-Lit-Readers Author

 

[Golden_Silence]

Dear Mount Vesuvius erupting on my face,

I've tried hard to ignore you but you're in my eyeline when I look down and I don't like it. Despite all the advice not to interfere, concealer just aint cutting it any more so it's time for you and I to part ways and for me to continue my journey alone without you. Please don't leave me with a scar-I had very few of your brothers when I was a teenager so I don't like you plaguing me now when I'm 42-just stay gone once I've sorted you out ok?

Sincerely

Unwilling to remain spotty litster

Dear Unwilling...

So YOU was superted's sidekick all them years ago then??

Running for the hills litster

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Senior Management

Please concentrate on my strengths and achievements and not look for my weaknesses. Much appreciated.

Your Underpaid Wage Slave

 

[jenniferbaby]

"pity I missed you babe, I am bored and fucking horny today and in need of a dirty woman to chat with...Ahhh well, maybe nexy time."

Dear Person Who Wrote Me The Above PM:

No comment.

jenniferbaby

 

[Millianthe]

Dear Doc;

Thanks for relieving my mind of the worst implications I created... now then, are you sure that an Reese's Peanut Butter Cup milkshake isn't considered effective stress therapy?

Signed
Your ever obedient patient willing to try a very good medication to fix the bad thing

 

[bisolom]

Dear X,

Hahahahahahahaha...
Fuck you.

Heading towards home and true love.

 

[Morrigu]

Dear X

Not sure why you think I resemble a hot spud. Let's leave it there shall we.

Yours,
Not spud-u-like

 

[indecisiviously]

Dear Thread,

Happy Anniversary!

You've only been here for a month, yet I feel i've known you my whole life.

Your unyielding acceptance of our fear and loathing gives me hope for better days.

May your posts never need bumping.

Smittenly yours,

...i

 

[CMsPrincess]

Dear X

You hang around that thread all day like you have nothing else better to do than quote everyone who posts there. I feel sorry for you. Do you not have anything better to do??

Signed,
Someone who notices