Dates from HELL!

[rachlou]

I was just working on a story i'm writing and the plot caused me to recall some of the hideous dates I have had in the last three years (since I got divorced).

My personal worst date was a guy who, on a second date), the first date being highly uneventful and not too bad at all), thought that a great conversation topic was to tell me in grisly detail all about his circumcisn operation that WENT WRONG! I wasn't sure whether he was trying to prepare me for a hideous sight or wanting a sympthy fuck! I was too traumatised to contribute further to the evening and needless to say, I passed on the thrd date.

Then there was the guy who spent over an hour on a monologue about whiskey collecting while I fell into a coma...

Can you beat my experiences? Please tell all!!

 

[TheeGoatPig]

First "date" I got stood up on. She reportedly had a friend pick her up and drive by where I was waiting so that they could laugh at me.

Second date, wasn't bad. We made out near the end.

Third date was with the same woman, but she was now my ex girlfriend for the last year (I was still trying to get her back like an ass). She had me drop her off at what would later be her new husband's place.

Fourth date was a blind date. My best friend (still in highschool at the time) swore up and down that she was 18+ years old. I asked her halfway through dinner if she was graduating with my friend that summer, to which she answered, "Oh no, I'm going to be a Junior next year. I'm only 16." gee, thanks Chris. Why are we friends again? (we aren't anymore for a few dozen similar examples of stupidity and ineptituted at being a decent human being)

 

[Zeb_Carter]

No, but I'm sure I've been a date from hell for a few ladies out there.

 

[scheherazade_79]

I had a pint of beer on a date once... and fell asleep when she was in the middle of telling me her life story.

We both decided it was better that I went home at that point

 

[S-Des]

I had a pint of beer on a date once... and fell asleep when she was in the middle of telling me her life story.

We both decided it was better that I went home at that point

I'm so bummed, I was waiting for a doozy of a Scheh story. I actually don't have any bad date stories, usually my problem is getting a date. Once I go out with someone we usually have a good time (and I'm pretty selective about who I ask out).

I was a bad date for someone once (evidently). We had what I thought was a good time and I really liked her. She was a nurse, very intelligent and funny, not to mention very attractive. I went home quite pleased with myself and looking forward to the upcoming relationship. The next day, my friend (who set up the date) informed me that I babbled all night and it wasn't fun for her at all. It caused me to be more careful about what I say on a first date and I haven't had a similar problem since then.

 

[scheherazade_79]

And there was a wiccan who gave me salvia divinorum on our second date. She went into this really spiritual trance, whereas I couldn't stop laughing because suddenly I had ostrich legs and the lights of the dvd player had gone all twinkly...

 

[Guest]

No, but I'm sure I've been a date from hell for a few ladies out there.

I'm hoping none of the women I dated post here.

 

[rachlou]

I had a pint of beer on a date once... and fell asleep when she was in the middle of telling me her life story.

We both decided it was better that I went home at that point

Were you really that tired or was she really that boring?!

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Don't get me started! I have a feeling I am going to be coming back to this thread often.

Let's see - picture this . . . we're out for dinner - first date. We met once before - once - at a party, and we talked for about 5 minutes. About books. Nothing else. So she got my number from a friend, and asked me out - and there we are, 10 minutes into our first date and she's telling me she's not clingy, but she loves me " so much" I told her that she knows nothing about me - how could she possibly say that?! Needless to say, the rest of the date didn't go so well . . .

Then there was at least three first dates (with different women) where they couldn't stop telling me about how good the sex was with their ex's - so I did the same If you can't beat them - join them!

And Fiona was known for having lots of cats . . . and I was fine with that until I was asked over for coffee. I think she had at least 20. And they were everywhere. And I love cats - it was just a little too much to deal with.

Oh yes, and then there was the one who practically forced me into a conversation on lesbian stereotypes within the first few minutes of meeting - insisting that I'm not a switch. I thought - wtf rolled my eyes, and left.

And M, I asked out, but she insisted she could only date on weekdays. But no, she wasn't married, and she had no commitments or dependants (She was married with three kids)

I'm far from the perfect date, but goodness - there are some strange women out there

 

[Guest]

Let's see, there was...

1. The fabulous first date I had with a woman who met her husband-to-be the day after and fell in immediate love.

2. The US shot down a plane from the country of a woman I'd just been out on a date with--totally zapping any chance of a second date.

3. The absolute out-of-my-league woman I never considered asking out. I ran into her the day I was moving cross country, and she told me she'd always wished we could have hooked up.

I sense there are more, but I am repressing the memories.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Let's see, there was...

3. The absolute out-of-my-league woman I never considered asking out. I ran into her the day I was moving cross country, and she told me she'd always wished we could have hooked up.

I sense there are more, but I am repressing the memories.

I'm amazed at how many people I have to tell this too, but there is no "league" for women. They are all different (crazy) in their tastes. Any woman (that is single) has the possibility to say "yes" to any guy that has the guts to ask them out. I have seen beauty queens out with fat-ass slouches. Seriously.

No woman is ever out of a man's league. If you find her attractive, and she give you even a hint of liking you, just ask her out already!

 

[rachlou]

Let's see, there was...

1. The fabulous first date I had with a woman who met her husband-to-be the day after and fell in immediate love.

2. The US shot down a plane from the country of a woman I'd just been out on a date with--totally zapping any chance of a second date.

3. The absolute out-of-my-league woman I never considered asking out. I ran into her the day I was moving cross country, and she told me she'd always wished we could have hooked up.

I sense there are more, but I am repressing the memories.

Don't repress the memories... it's therapeutic to let it all out!

Mine are all coming back to me now...

I forgot to mention the guy who was so painfully shy he couldn;t talk to me, thus leaving me to do all the talking. I am happy to talk away but even i was struggling after an hour or so of mute adoration. I texted my friend from the toilet and she rang me pretending to be my babysitter and giving me an excuse to invent a terrible calamity at home. I made a fast exit 3 minutes later.

Then there was the guy who claimed to be skint after we had eaten dinner and thus expected me to pay for it ALL. I don't mind going halves, but paying for the meal on a first date? Come on!!

Nice to know I am not the only one with a dysfunctional dating life by the way ...

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

forget it

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I'm amazed at how many people I have to tell this too, but there is no "league" for women. They are all different (crazy) in their tastes. Any woman (that is single) has the possibility to say "yes" to any guy that has the guts to ask them out. I have seen beauty queens out with fat-ass slouches. Seriously.

No woman is ever out of a man's league. If you find her attractive, and she give you even a hint of liking you, just ask her out already!

Thee, sweet, read what you just wrote...ponder it some...and then get your ass out there and apply that set of thoughts to your own dating situations

~~~*feverishly takes notes on what not to do on a date* i've never really done the whole 'date' thing...i was sposed to be having a date of sorts this sunday...but it doesnt look like its happening...

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Thee, sweet, read what you just wrote...ponder it some...and then get your ass out there and apply that set of thoughts to your own dating situations

~~~*feverishly takes notes on what not to do on a date* i've never really done the whole 'date' thing...i was sposed to be having a date of sorts this sunday...but it doesnt look like its happening...

I knew someone would say that

My problem isn't so much that i don't ask. It's that every woman I meet has a boyfriend/fiance/husband already, or rejects me. Totally different scenario. There are only two women in the last ten years that I regret not asking out. It's not that I haven't tried, it's that I have failed already.

__

And I will probbaly be a date from hell the next time I get out with a woman. I have no idea what to do on a date anymore...

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Well, it really wasn't a bad date...but when she woke me up in the middle of the night and told me that I had to leave...her husband was on his way home...

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I knew someone would say that

You can count on me

see....i dont do the 1st move thing...i let it happen if its gonna happen lol...not often but when it does...by god its yummy

 

[rachlou]

__

And I will probbaly be a date from hell the next time I get out with a woman. I have no idea what to do on a date anymore...

Just pay half, have something more interesting than whisky to talk about and don't mention any embarrasing disfigurement of the genital region - and you will do just fine!

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Just pay half, have something more interesting than whisky to talk about and don't mention any embarrasing disfigurement of the genital region - and you will do just fine!

I'll do one better than pay half. I'll pay full. I'll pay for every meal over the next week if it will get me a date.

The troubles start when they ask "Where are we going?" I don't know anyplace to take a date. Then they get complicated when they ask "What have you been up to the last ten years?" or "Who have you been with?" Since I haven't done all that much, I will either ramble on about something they don't care about (video games or martial arts), or ramble on about how lonely I have been (another date killer).

Just you wait. Self fulfilling prophecy here I come

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I'll do one better than pay half. I'll pay full. I'll pay for every meal over the next week if it will get me a date.

The troubles start when they ask "Where are we going?" I don't know anyplace to take a date. Then they get complicated when they ask "What have you been up to the last ten years?" or "Who have you been with?" Since I haven't done all that much, I will either ramble on about something they don't care about (video games or martial arts), or ramble on about how lonely I have been (another date killer).

Just you wait. Self fulfilling prophecy here I come

You know your weaknesses...play against them. Don't talk about video games...seriously. Also, if asked about past relationships...say something about having been involved with a few people briefly, and then backhander it by saying something like 'hey, enough about ex's...that's the past...' (something a little less cheesy than that though!)

 

[oggbashan]

I asked out the daughter of one of my father's friends.

We were going to the cinema to see a film of her choice.

She suggested that we drop in at the pub across the road from the cinema for a quick drink before the film. She asked for half a pint of cider, the commercial low alcohol stuff that was sold then.

After drinking two-thirds of it she was unconscious. The landlord came over to me, concerned at the sudden collapse in his premises. He took one look and said:

"Oh, it's (blank). She always does that. Didn't she warn you?"

I had to carry her home in a fireman's lift and ring her parents' doorbell with their daughter unconscious across my shoulders.

Luckily for me they thought it was a great joke.

Next time I went out with her slightly younger sister who could drink like a fish...

But that's another story.

Og

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I'll do one better than pay half. I'll pay full. I'll pay for every meal over the next week if it will get me a date.

The troubles start when they ask "Where are we going?" I don't know anyplace to take a date. Then they get complicated when they ask "What have you been up to the last ten years?" or "Who have you been with?" Since I haven't done all that much, I will either ramble on about something they don't care about (video games or martial arts), or ramble on about how lonely I have been (another date killer).

Just you wait. Self fulfilling prophecy here I come

Well, I don't usually give out advice, but here's mine, for what it is worth.

Find something interesting to do for a date, go to a movie, a show, an exhibit, a concert, and then go out for dinner or something. Read the latest two or three issues of people magazine so you are up on the latest gossip. If you find the questions like, "What have you done for the last 10 years" hard to answer, then sit down before your date and write out what you want the other person to know about you and learn it.

Everyone is interesting in their own way....

Most of all, just be yourself...

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Well, I don't usually give out advice, but here's mine, for what it is worth.

Find something interesting to do for a date, go to a movie, a show, an exhibit, a concert, and then go out for dinner or something. Read the latest two or three issues of people magazine so you are up on the latest gossip. If you find the questions like, "What have you done for the last 10 years" hard to answer, then sit down before your date and write out what you want the other person to know about you and learn it.

Everyone is interesting in their own way....

Most of all, just be yourself...

ooooh....you're good...better make sure i do all that

 

[Bacetti]

I'm fully expecting tomorrow's date to be from hell. Just a preemptive strike...

 

[rachlou]

I'm fully expecting tomorrow's date to be from hell. Just a preemptive strike...

Feel free to tell us all about it after the event! (good luck)