Dates from HELL!

[TheEarl]

I've never really had a bad date. I think the oddest one I had was one which might not even have been a date. She was an acquaintance/friend of mine from uni; we'd talked a few timesi n the past and were vaguely part of the same social circle. It turned out that we were the only two of our circle who'd stayed in the uni's city on our industrial placement and we ended up talking over e-mail after I replied to a question of hers on the department noticeboard. I suggested that we meet up 'to keep each other company as we've been abandoned by everyone else' and she accepted.

The problem with asking her out in a low-key kinda way was that I didn't know whether it was a date or just two friends meeting together. We had lunch at a bakery and went to watch a film, with me wondering all the while where my boundaries lay. It felt like a date to me, but was I misreading it? Should I try and put my arm around her as we walked? If it was a date, was it going well? Or was I just making a friend who happened to be female?

We met up on three occasions, all of them pretty much the same. I never found out if they were dates and I have the sneaking suspicion that she was probably wondering the same thing on her side. Made for some amazing stilted conversation.

The Earl

 

[kendo1]

I prefer dates when they are stoned.


I have soft teeth.

 

[rgraham666]

I rarely go on dates. Maybe about one every three years. Partly because I rarely meet women outside of work and I won't date women from work. And partly because I'm a solitary person. And partly because my social life was heavily male dominated. Not many women play roleplaying games and conflict simulations.

Worst one was a woman who stood me up. I phoned and asked if something had happened. She responded, "We had a date?"

I don't need to worry about that any more. I've gone celibate this year. Too much work for too little reward.

 

[3113]

Heh. I've got one. Though I'm afraid it says more about me than about the guy--because I dated him, right?

So I end up dating this guy who's pretty much a born-again Christian (don't ask how it came about, I don't even remember!), though on the softer side. C.S. Lewis fan type of guy. I don't mind that we go dutch, that seems fair to me. I do mind that he's the slowest eater I've ever met and by the time I'm finished he's barely started. Dinner gones on for a very loooooooooooong time. We talk about all sorts of things, and we have almost nothing in common. Certainly not politics, philsophy or religion.

We go on a couple of dates (yes, I went out with him more than once) and each time it's the same. We go dutch, and he eats slooooooowly. By something like the third date, he informs me that, because he is so very religious, he can't have sex before marriage. So...will I marry him?

That relationship didn't last long. About a year later, I saw him again, happily married and with a kid. I guess he found someone in his church group with the same views and beliefs and sex drive

 

[SeaCat]

Oh Jeesh, I'll have to dig back a few years for these.

One date from hell was when her Mother decided she just had to go along because we were going to her favorite restaraunt. (Yeah Right.)

One datef rom hell was when we somehow met up with a bunch of her friends outside the restaraunt, and they decided they just had to accompany us.

Another one, but one which still causes me to smile, (and yes I still talk with her.) I was in High School at the time and driving a 1968 ChevyII Nove with no Floor Boards. (It was realy interesting when you hit a puddle. ) We had gone to the local fair, where we had dinner from the midway. Something she ate didn't agree with her. She got the old Belly Rumbles. She hit every outhouse between the Midway and where we parked the car. I got the car started and she had this truly distressed look on her face. She was sitting there and seemed to be dancing on the seat before she announced she just had to visit the bathroom once again. Hmmmmm, the nearest bathroom was more than 100 yards away, she wasn't going to make it. I asked her if she trusted me, she said she did. I told her to remove her skirt and underwear as I moved her seat as far forward as it would go. She looked at me in incomprehension even as she did as I asked. I then showed her how to sit, with her legs on her seat and her back against the dashboard and her ass hanging in the breeze. She drained as we drove. (Remember, no floorboards.) We still laugh about the night she left her mark on the roads of Cape Cod.

Cat

 

[Lee Chambers]

We still laugh about the night she left her mark on the roads of Cape Cod.

Jesus Christ I am not going to sleep tonight

 

[oggbashan]

Mutual Date from Hell

I was away on a three-day residential course with a single woman from an adjoining office. We were both in our early 20s.

Once the daytime activities had finished at about seven pm we were at a loose end but there was a significant problem. Our personnel department hadn't paid the hotel bill as they should have done and this was in the days before credit cards, cash cards and electronic cash transfers. We had to pay the hotel ourselves - in cash.

I wanted to ask her out for the evening. She wanted to go out for the evening and I would do as an escort, if there was no one else. My only recommendation, as far as she was concerned, was that I was a known quantity and therefore would be unlikely to go too far. She was very wary of some of the other delegates.

But neither of us had any money. We had a few coins, possibly enough for a bottle of Coca-Cola in a pub. We were stuck in an industrial Northern Town that didn't have many attractions. The hotel had one public room - the bar we couldn't afford. The alternative was a bedroom and both of us were sharing with another of the same sex.

We spent the evening walking around the grimy town looking for somewhere warm and dry. We didn't find it. We became more and more irritated with the situation and each other. What might have been a possible relationship died after hours walking in the sooty rain.

Og

 

[SeaCat]

Jesus Christ I am not going to sleep tonight

LOLOL

There have been worse, but most of them have been far north of you so you're safe.

My dates quickly learned that I am more than just down to earth.

I am a firm believer that life is here to be enjoyed, all of it. Bodily functions are not something to be ashamed of.

Cat

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Well, I don't usually give out advice, but here's mine, for what it is worth.

Find something interesting to do for a date, go to a movie, a show, an exhibit, a concert, and then go out for dinner or something. Read the latest two or three issues of people magazine so you are up on the latest gossip. If you find the questions like, "What have you done for the last 10 years" hard to answer, then sit down before your date and write out what you want the other person to know about you and learn it.

Everyone is interesting in their own way....

Most of all, just be yourself...

It's not like anyone will ever say yes to me. Advice isn't needed at this point. Someone willing is, and it's not going to happen.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

I'm actually pretty uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone I haven't already had sex with.

 

[SeaCat]

It's not like anyone will ever say yes to me. Advice isn't needed at this point. Someone willing is, and it's not going to happen.

Hey TGP

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're shooting yourself down before you even get a chance.

You want to stop a date in it's tracks start in with the Woe is Me routine,

Look around, there are plenty of young ladies out there who are intrested.

But if you hit them with the "Woe is Me drill" they are going to look somewhere else.

Cat

 

[blackhaus7]

I have had two dates in my entire life. Neither woman has spoken to me since. By the same token, I haven't spoken to them, either.

All the rest skipped straight to sex.

It seems that I'm a lousy date, however...................

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

I have had two dates in my entire life. Neither woman has spoken to me since. By the same token, I haven't spoken to them, either.

All the rest skipped straight to sex.

It seems that I'm a lousy date, however...................

Not really. I've had only two dates too. Dates have never been much to do with sex for me. The women I've had sex with have been friends, colleagues or strangers at the time.

 

[Goldie Munro]

I prefer dates when they are stoned.


I have soft teeth.

Me too!

 

[feeeriek]

date? isn't that a fruit that grows on palm trees?

 

[rgraham666]

TGP? Think of dating as poker.

If you go to the table with a negative attitude it's a lot more difficult to win.

Pay attention to the cards.

And be prepared to bluff a lot.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I don't want to get into this again...

I only get down on myself on the internet and around my best friend.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

TGP? Think of dating as poker.

If you go to the table with a negative attitude it's a lot more difficult to win.

Pay attention to the cards.

And be prepared to bluff a lot.

And practice a little sleight-of-hand under the dining table

 

[rachlou]

The perfect MAN date, (if you are a woman), is one who -

1. Pays half of the cost. Nice if they offer to pay all though.
2. Is reasonably presentable.
3. Can hold up his side of a conversation AND has something reasonably interesting to talk about - NO, we don't want to hear about your train spotting hobby ALL EVENING!
4. Has an IQ higher than a log.
5. Has no major personality disorders.
6. Has no psycho ex's stalking him and who are currently waiting outside the restaurant with an axe/chainsaw.
7. Doesn't try and jump you between the starter and the main course.

Beyond that, it comes down to the X factor - chemistry. That indefinable something that makes us decide whether we fancy somebody (or not).

Curiously absent from 9/10 dates in my experience!

 

[sirhugs]

are you all just trying to scare me to death as I reenter the dating scene after 19 years?

and I had my share of bad dates then:

~ the time I was still 16, had access to a car, so a coworker arranged a 'double date' with his gf and the gf's chum. My 'date' refused to sit with me at the movie I paid for, but still expected me to buy Mickey D's afterwards. Think I was just used for wheels? Then she gets back with her psycho ex bf, who shows up at work wanting to beat me up.

~ at the other end of my experiences, shortly before meeting my future and soon to be ex wife, I had a second date arranged with this absolutely stunning lifeguard. First date had been a blind date arranged as a double, with a buddy's gf as match maker (do we see a theme?). So I show up for the second date, which was again to be a double, dinner at the best place in town. Lifeguard lass is stunning in a nice low cut tight green dress ( I can still picture her)....waiting for her OTHER date to arrive - she had forgotten me entirely, as in 'what is your name again?'. Fortunately, chum's gf was a hairdresser, knew LOTS of women, called one who met us at the restaurant , just up for the nice dinner and yucks. Not my type, but we had fun....

I'm sure I have more in between, but those will do for now....

 

[sirhugs]

The perfect MAN date, (if you are a woman), is one who -

1. Pays half of the cost. Nice if they offer to pay all though.
2. Is reasonably presentable.
3. Can hold up his side of a conversation AND has something reasonably interesting to talk about - NO, we don't want to hear about your train spotting hobby ALL EVENING!
4. Has an IQ higher than a log.
5. Has no major personality disorders.
6. Has no psycho ex's stalking him and who are currently waiting outside the restaurant with an axe/chainsaw.
7. Doesn't try and jump you between the starter and the main course.

Beyond that, it comes down to the X factor - chemistry. That indefinable something that makes us decide whether we fancy somebody (or not).

Curiously absent from 9/10 dates in my experience!

gee.....

1. I expect to pay. Won't get all macho and make a scene though.
2. Am clean, well dressed, smell good.
3. Have been described as 'witty and cool'...well read, educated, up on music books, movies, world events, sports....
4. no idea of IQ score, but have professional degree, was Gold Medalist in my high school.
5. not in active psychiatric care...just kidding, no diagnosed mental illness. Does self medicating with pinot noir count as a plus or minus?
6. ex is crazy, but harmless. Also possibly the only women in this neck of the woods who has neither an axe nor a chainsaw....
7. will not jump until after dessert....unless you make the first move in the coat room.

so where do I find women like you rach?

 

[rachlou]

gee.....

1. I expect to pay. Won't get all macho and make a scene though.
2. Am clean, well dressed, smell good.
3. Have been described as 'witty and cool'...well read, educated, up on music books, movies, world events, sports....
4. no idea of IQ score, but have professional degree, was Gold Medalist in my high school.
5. not in active psychiatric care...just kidding, no diagnosed mental illness. Does self medicating with pinot noir count as a plus or minus?
6. ex is crazy, but harmless. Also possibly the only women in this neck of the woods who has neither an axe nor a chainsaw....
7. will not jump until after dessert....unless you make the first move in the coat room.

so where do I find women like you rach?

Well you sound 1000% better than most of my tragic dates.

And the answer to your question is... you won't - I am one of a kind!

 

[Vermilion]

I don't know if this is an English thing or a me thing, but I have never had many dates until I start going out with somebody (all my best dates have been with my fiance) so I haven't many experiences to draw upon but let's see...

My first ever date at age fourteen or fifteen. Went to the cinema. Date thought it'd impress me to show off a bit and proceeded to drink a litre of lemonade (fizzy I might add) through his nose.


What other horrors? It'd be easier to tell you about bad sex, you know.

Oh yes, I remember. There was the time when the hideousness of the date was entirely my own fault. That's a fun one. There was this bloke I really fancied (and girls may not have a league that men can be out of, but guys can and he was *totally* out of mine.) and his mate (who knew he was shy) said he bet I couldn't have a kiss with him.
Anyways - long and short of it - I basically forced this poor bloke to go out with me, then forced myself upon him, cue humiliation for both, as far as I can remember. Seriously. If a guy had tried that on me they'd be up on sexual assault charges.
Oh to be eighteen and entirely confident in one's sexual appeal again...
(sexual appeal being utterly different from attractiveness, I might add, being based, as it is, almost entirely upon how easy you are)

x
V

 

[sirhugs]

I find it interesting how many people 'never dated' until they met their spouse. My wife and I never had a date...we met at a party, she came over to cook dinner for me a few nights later, that became a habit, til one week I had to travel for work she offered to house sit, and never left....

...but I dated a lot BEFORE I met her....

 

[sirhugs]

Well you sound 1000% better than most of my tragic dates.

And the answer to your question is... you won't - I am one of a kind!

well, that beats "all the good ones are married"