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LurkingPhoenix
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Growl and stuff.
Daddy's Little Girl: Third Edition
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Growl and stuff.
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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!
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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DominantLife @tumblr
SOME THOUGHTS ON RULES
Rules are an important part of many D&s relationships, especially online. There are many ways to create a set of rules that work well, but there are also some mistakes to avoid. I want to share a few brief thoughts today that might help Doms who are thinking about entering into a relationship like this. Subs, if your Dom provides you with rules that seem very off-target from what I’m saying, you might have some grounds for useful discussion.*
1. Simple is better. The best rules, from a behavior modification standpoint, are simple and easy to remember. The more complex a rule is or the more parts it has, the more room there is for negotiation and completing it halfway. You want a more or less black or white outcome: was the rule followed or not?
2. Fewer is better. I won’t name names, but I’ve seen a few couples on tumblr who have posted lists of rules running into 40, 50 or even, in one case, 80. This shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what the rule set should be—a simple, strong, and clear set of guidelines by which the sub is to conduct her affairs and show her obedience to the Dom. The set of rules must be short enough that it is always in both of your minds. Can you really remember a list of 80 rules? I think not. You are not creating a takeoff checklist for a jumbo jet, you are trying to train a girl.
3. Clear results are essential. You want to avoid rules that include things like “try to”. In other words, you are not going to “try to do ABC”, the rule is to “Do ABC.” As the Dominant, your job is to evaluate her compliance with the rules. If the rule says she is to try to do something, how do you know? Focus on the outcome and craft the rule.
4. Mutual “buy in” is important. You cannot force a set of rules on a girl, or they will be ignored and eventually discarded. Perhaps even worse, she may lie to you about compliance. It is very easy for her to say she did something without having done it, but that is pretty much the end of any true D/s relationship. There may be rules and things she does not particularly enjoy or want to do (submission is often about doing things you don’t want to do), but she must understand what you are both working toward and must agree to follow the rules.
5. Rules must respect reality. You are looking to create gradual, but lasting changes in her behavior. Do not hit her with a list of 100 things to change. Focus on a few at a time. Consider practical issues like her living situation (alone or not), financial situation, and other obligations. In nearly all cases, her first and most important obligation is to You and to the relationship, but you also must not make impossible demands.
6. Explain why. Many Doms think they are being smart or sneaky when they do things to train a girl, so they are secretive about their methods or their goals. This, frankly, is dumb. I’ve always been confident enough in my methods to tell you what I want to accomplish, to tell you how I’m going to do it, to explain the purpose of each step, and then to do it. Far from reducing effectiveness, if she understands what you’re working toward you’re going to have better results, anyway.*
Remember, the rule set is a training tool and a teaching tool. It is not part of a game to make her fail to give you an excuse to punish. Ideally, she should know that you have the conviction to punish if necessary, but the goal is compliance. I’ve always said that a perfect submissive is one you would never have to punish, but I know other people have different ideas about how these relationships should work. Anyway, I’ll leave this open for comments, and I hope it helps some people in their journey.
SOME THOUGHTS ON RULES
Rules are an important part of many D&s relationships, especially online. There are many ways to create a set of rules that work well, but there are also some mistakes to avoid. I want to share a few brief thoughts today that might help Doms who are thinking about entering into a relationship like this. Subs, if your Dom provides you with rules that seem very off-target from what I’m saying, you might have some grounds for useful discussion.*
1. Simple is better. The best rules, from a behavior modification standpoint, are simple and easy to remember. The more complex a rule is or the more parts it has, the more room there is for negotiation and completing it halfway. You want a more or less black or white outcome: was the rule followed or not?
2. Fewer is better. I won’t name names, but I’ve seen a few couples on tumblr who have posted lists of rules running into 40, 50 or even, in one case, 80. This shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what the rule set should be—a simple, strong, and clear set of guidelines by which the sub is to conduct her affairs and show her obedience to the Dom. The set of rules must be short enough that it is always in both of your minds. Can you really remember a list of 80 rules? I think not. You are not creating a takeoff checklist for a jumbo jet, you are trying to train a girl.
3. Clear results are essential. You want to avoid rules that include things like “try to”. In other words, you are not going to “try to do ABC”, the rule is to “Do ABC.” As the Dominant, your job is to evaluate her compliance with the rules. If the rule says she is to try to do something, how do you know? Focus on the outcome and craft the rule.
4. Mutual “buy in” is important. You cannot force a set of rules on a girl, or they will be ignored and eventually discarded. Perhaps even worse, she may lie to you about compliance. It is very easy for her to say she did something without having done it, but that is pretty much the end of any true D/s relationship. There may be rules and things she does not particularly enjoy or want to do (submission is often about doing things you don’t want to do), but she must understand what you are both working toward and must agree to follow the rules.
5. Rules must respect reality. You are looking to create gradual, but lasting changes in her behavior. Do not hit her with a list of 100 things to change. Focus on a few at a time. Consider practical issues like her living situation (alone or not), financial situation, and other obligations. In nearly all cases, her first and most important obligation is to You and to the relationship, but you also must not make impossible demands.
6. Explain why. Many Doms think they are being smart or sneaky when they do things to train a girl, so they are secretive about their methods or their goals. This, frankly, is dumb. I’ve always been confident enough in my methods to tell you what I want to accomplish, to tell you how I’m going to do it, to explain the purpose of each step, and then to do it. Far from reducing effectiveness, if she understands what you’re working toward you’re going to have better results, anyway.*
Remember, the rule set is a training tool and a teaching tool. It is not part of a game to make her fail to give you an excuse to punish. Ideally, she should know that you have the conviction to punish if necessary, but the goal is compliance. I’ve always said that a perfect submissive is one you would never have to punish, but I know other people have different ideas about how these relationships should work. Anyway, I’ll leave this open for comments, and I hope it helps some people in their journey.
Booboobear84
Dancing bear
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I would suggest that these rules apply to all relationships, especially manager subordinate, and you will see that most managers are lousy dominants.
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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What pretty rope
TIE ME UP AND PLAY WITH ME, DADDY.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/c3b843758c969feec30f01bf6b526c8d/c6826eab0354bd60-d1/s640x960/c137309255537746ded5c42d93094912adb36f10.jpg
TIE ME UP AND PLAY WITH ME, DADDY.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/c3b843758c969feec30f01bf6b526c8d/c6826eab0354bd60-d1/s640x960/c137309255537746ded5c42d93094912adb36f10.jpg
Moochienanu
Gives hot transcript
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This is a beautiful bamboo. Such a pretty colour
. I think I’m going to treat myself to some new rope soon. I am trying to decide if I want something green because it looks good against my glow-in-the-dark skin, or follow my heart and get a darker purple... I should probably only get one since it’s so ‘spensive... and then there’s the whole bamboo vs jute vs hemp dilemma. I hate and the minutiae of decisions involved in something so basic... I really miss having my Daddy to ask these questions to. *curls up into a little ball under a heated blanket with her teddy*
gracie920101
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This is a beautiful bamboo. Such a pretty colour
Awww, Moochie.
<hands over a cup of cocoa with heart shaped mini marshmallows>
Moochienanu
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barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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This is a beautiful bamboo. Such a pretty colour
I agree with the decisions. It's not that I'm incapable, but I get tired of making all the decisions. I hope you're doing better soon.
Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
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Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
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This is a beautiful bamboo. Such a pretty colour
Moochie
I agree with the decisions. It's not that I'm incapable, but I get tired of making all the decisions. I hope you're doing better soon.
Same. DON'T MAKE ME PIIICK
L
LurkingPhoenix
Guest
That's a pretty color... and the very subtle contrast of the red skin next to it could be quite enticing.
ARoseSoSweet
Canadian Cutie :)
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Oh my.. I'm new to this thread and not on here much.. but this sounds wonderful to me.
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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That's a pretty color... and the very subtle contrast of the red skin next to it could be quite enticing.
. I hadn't thought of that!!(You perv!) *runs away*
Hi! Welcome to our thread!!!
ARoseSoSweet
Canadian Cutie :)
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Thank you!
Moochienanu
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I agree with the decisions. It's not that I'm incapable, but I get tired of making all the decisions. I hope you're doing better soon.
Moochie
Same. DON'T MAKE ME PIIICK
When it comes to the trivial decisions, I’m a mess. I have never been good at making them. The big ones, though... those are so much more simple, screaming to me the correct way to align myself.
I bought myself a lot of rope yesterday, but I got some very pretty ones and cheaper than expected since I bought most of it as unfinished jute (I am confident I can condition some new rope myself now that I’ve watched a plethora of YouTube videos on the subject).
Sometimes a girl just needs to treat herself.
Have you done something for yourself as a treat this week?
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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Did you get different colors?
This week has been spent focusing on my son's knee injury. The only satisfaction I've gotten was telling my ex to eff off with his "wait another day" and took the poor kid to the ER. Today the focus is getting him to the orthopedic surgeon for his evaluation. It would be much easier if he wasn't already a foot taller than me - watching him get out of the Trailblazer yesterday was entertaining because he couldn't bend the leg.
Physically I'm fine.
Mentally I'm exhausted.
Emotionally I'm in need of hugs.
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
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. Heck yeah!
Moochienanu
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I did mention I’m no good with decisions, right? I got both purple and green... as well as a hank of a multi-colour that has purple, green and blue in it. Way too much, but it will be just right. I hope.
I’m sorry to hear about your kid. I hope it’s not something that isn’t easily remedied, though it sounds like surgery? ACL? Or a meniscal tear?
Sending you hugs.
gracie920101
Lurker 2.0
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Its been a hot minute since I've popped in here..
Just wanted to send some love to BFG and Moochie
and to find a place to curl up...I'm tired of doing the adult thing. My brain is like mush and theres sooooo much to do trying to prepare for our first road trip and hotel stay with the kiddo, trying to figure out how to keep said kiddo occupied and quiet during a funeral...she's never been on a 4hr car ride before and never had to be quiet for a service before
Ugh
Oh SNG! So sorry to hear of your loss. Maybe create some time for a quick bubble bath "me" time before bed tonight. Fingers crossed that the little one travels well.
Dreamliner
Literotica Guru
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After care is important.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/95ce6f28f05a7b12a81152710ae9dc88/tumblr_prrn88Inii1r57o3i_400.gifv
https://64.media.tumblr.com/95ce6f28f05a7b12a81152710ae9dc88/tumblr_prrn88Inii1r57o3i_400.gifv
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
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Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
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Dear male acquaintance Litsters,
I know you mean well, but stop trying to fix things for me.
I mean it. Stoppit.
Maybe practice your active listening skills instead.
Signed, me.
I know you mean well, but stop trying to fix things for me.
I mean it. Stoppit.
Maybe practice your active listening skills instead.
Signed, me.
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