Cuckoldry and intimacy

[Tommelon]

Hello,
I hope you're well. I'm seeking advice on the topic of cuckoldry. I deeply love my wife but worry I may not fully satisfy her. I'm considering the idea of her exploring intimacy with other men, if she desires. However, I don't want to explicitly tell her about it. I want her to naturally explore this if she feels inclined, without feeling shy, ashamed, or weird about it. How can I approach this respectfully and ensure it's consensual?

 

[WonderPonder]

I'd say bring it up when you're in bed while aroused but in a subtle way. You know her best so find a way that won't scare her.

 

[Olderanwiser]

Hello,
I hope you're well. I'm seeking advice on the topic of cuckoldry. I deeply love my wife but worry I may not fully satisfy her. I'm considering the idea of her exploring intimacy with other men, if she desires. However, I don't want to explicitly tell her about it. I want her to naturally explore this if she feels inclined, without feeling shy, ashamed, or weird about it. How can I approach this respectfully and ensure it's consensual?

I'm guessing you don't watch any porn together or else the subject would have already been discussed

 

[luckyseven]

I'd say bring it up when you're in bed while aroused but in a subtle way. You know her best so find a way that won't scare her.

That's what I did, and although my wife was initially shocked about the idea, it was clear we both had secret sexual needs and wants that we were reluctant to discuss.

So, when we were confident and not embarrassed to share our sexual desires, it was obvious to us both that we wanted to be more sexually adventurous.

That was nearly thirty years ago, and for the vast majority of our successful open marriage, we still enjoy what we call recreational sex with other like-minded people.

 

[LeeKee]

Hello,
I hope you're well. I'm seeking advice on the topic of cuckoldry. I deeply love my wife but worry I may not fully satisfy her. I'm considering the idea of her exploring intimacy with other men, if she desires. However, I don't want to explicitly tell her about it. I want her to naturally explore this if she feels inclined, without feeling shy, ashamed, or weird about it. How can I approach this respectfully and ensure it's consensual?

Glad i found this. Similar situation here. Id like to follow this.

 

[LeeKee]

I'm guessing you don't watch any porn together or else the subject would have already been discussed

Years ago we did watch porn, and she just kept commenting on the woman. But i could see she was eying that big cock. We havent watched in 10 years.b

 

[screwher]

I’m thinking maybe subtly add the topic into casual conversation. Gauge her reaction, if any. Show no signs of jealousy or anger when she responds. With any luck she’ll have similar desires. And you’ll have planted the seed.

 

[Representingmyhotwife]

If she is totally into you, you could use that to persuade her to be intimate with another man, making her believe that she was doing it for you. I mean, that's what my wife's ex did to her.

 

[Kenrychard]

Hello,
I hope you're well. I'm seeking advice on the topic of cuckoldry. I deeply love my wife but worry I may not fully satisfy her. I'm considering the idea of her exploring intimacy with other men, if she desires. However, I don't want to explicitly tell her about it. I want her to naturally explore this if she feels inclined, without feeling shy, ashamed, or weird about it. How can I approach this respectfully and ensure it's consensual?

Suggest you consider whether you are using the right terminology for what you are looking for. Cuckold specifically defined is a man who has been or is being cheated on. Its not consensual. If you want your wife to explore on her own, but consensually, maybe "Hotwife" would be a better term. if she looks into Cuckold there is going to be a lot of negative energy. Hotwife on the other hand can have positive energy to it. Its consensual. The husband still has a strength position.. the hotwife isnt JUST going out and doing her own thing, privately, with other men. She comes home and shares it, in detail, with her husband. That one detail sort of shifts the "victim" clearly onto the "other guy", his time with the woman has no privacy, she is going to tell all with the husband, even make fun of him if appropriate. But at the same time.. she is going out and expressing herself and getting attention and the husband himself may well be feeling good about having an attractive woman he lets go out and seduce men, just to come back, entertain him with the stories and fuel their sex. My wife and I tried this.. but she sucked at telling afterwards... wrong attitude. She felt she was betraying the other guys privacy... she completely didn't understand the process..the other guy having any right to privacy meant she was betraying ME.

Hotwife is a much more complimentary term and maybe more what you actually are interested in.

Me, I liked having a man with the right positive attitude join us,3some, but that attitude is hard to find, even among friends. As fun as it was when it went well, actually playing with others was a pain, stressful and a time waste. Not when it happened, but trying to make it happen. The Hotwife thing was far more natural..your woman at a bar without you is going to get attention. If she is good at it and understands the dynamic you might both love it. If my wife had been able to give a play by play like baseball on the radio, instead of just the name of the teams and the score, it would have ben fun.

 

[switchersm]

Suggest you consider whether you are using the right terminology for what you are looking for. Cuckold specifically defined is a man who has been or is being cheated on. Its not consensual. If you want your wife to explore on her own, but consensually, maybe "Hotwife" would be a better term. if she looks into Cuckold there is going to be a lot of negative energy. Hotwife on the other hand can have positive energy to it. Its consensual. The husband still has a strength position.. the hotwife isnt JUST going out and doing her own thing, privately, with other men. She comes home and shares it, in detail, with her husband. That one detail sort of shifts the "victim" clearly onto the "other guy", his time with the woman has no privacy, she is going to tell all with the husband, even make fun of him if appropriate. But at the same time.. she is going out and expressing herself and getting attention and the husband himself may well be feeling good about having an attractive woman he lets go out and seduce men, just to come back, entertain him with the stories and fuel their sex. My wife and I tried this.. but she sucked at telling afterwards... wrong attitude. She felt she was betraying the other guys privacy... she completely didn't understand the process..the other guy having any right to privacy meant she was betraying ME.

Hotwife is a much more complimentary term and maybe more what you actually are interested in.

Me, I liked having a man with the right positive attitude join us,3some, but that attitude is hard to find, even among friends. As fun as it was when it went well, actually playing with others was a pain, stressful and a time waste. Not when it happened, but trying to make it happen. The Hotwife thing was far more natural..your woman at a bar without you is going to get attention. If she is good at it and understands the dynamic you might both love it. If my wife had been able to give a play by play like baseball on the radio, instead of just the name of the teams and the score, it would have ben fun.

My wife and I don't agree to your definition of cuckolding as you write "Cuckold specifically defined is a man who has been or is being cheated on. Its not consensual."
Cuckolding can happen in different relations between husband, wife and her lover(s)/bulls. But it's never cheating. It's consensual between wife and her husband. The husband knows, that his wife has sex with another man or several man. In some cases she fucks with her lover or bull outside home and tells her hubby everything afterwards, in other cases she fucks at home and hubby is allowed to listen or to watch or is included to clean her. There are so many and morevariations of cuckolding, but all are consensual. And that is the difference to cheating.

And to Tommelons post I have only one advice. Talk to your wife about your own feelings, wishes and fantasies in a peaceful not demanding manner and ask her about her sexual needs and fantasies. Be open and don't project your imagination in hers.

 

[Kenrychard]

My wife and I don't agree to your definition of cuckolding as you write "Cuckold specifically defined is a man who has been or is being cheated on. Its not consensual."
Cuckolding can happen in different relations between husband, wife and her lover(s)/bulls. But it's never cheating. It's consensual between wife and her husband. The husband knows, that his wife has sex with another man or several man. In some cases she fucks with her lover or bull outside home and tells her hubby everything afterwards, in other cases she fucks at home and hubby is allowed to listen or to watch or is included to clean her. There are so many and morevariations of cuckolding, but all are consensual. And that is the difference to cheating.

And to Tommelons post I have only one advice. Talk to your wife about your own feelings, wishes and fantasies in a peaceful not demanding manner and ask her about her sexual needs and fantasies. Be open and don't project your imagination in hers.

I agree with you that is the common in use representation. I was talking the actual dictionary definition based on the Latin origin. But either way, the OPs description was much more hotwife than cuckold.

 

[LMWM321]

I think you need to first explore the possibility that the idea of her being with other men is more for your enjoyment than hers. And why do I say this? Because your approach to her presumed lack of satisfaction isn't "how can I better satisfy her," or "how can I broach the subject of her satisfaction," it's "I'm thinking of letting her be with other men."

I'm not being judgemental; there's nothing unusual about having a Hot Wife kink - a great many people her at Lit do. ..But you need to be honest with yourself and her about it. ..And if the idea does NOT appeal to her, don't pressure her. ...Just let her know the idea of it excites you and see how she feels about it.

 

[SusanHoward]

Tom, are you really my loving husband on Lit?

 

[amigayorbi]

Hello,
I hope you're well. I'm seeking advice on the topic of cuckoldry. I deeply love my wife but worry I may not fully satisfy her. I'm considering the idea of her exploring intimacy with other men, if she desires. However, I don't want to explicitly tell her about it. I want her to naturally explore this if she feels inclined, without feeling shy, ashamed, or weird about it. How can I approach this respectfully and ensure it's consensual?

Lot of us in the same boat, man. I guess the constant advice is to talk to her, communicate, one step at a time, starting with dressing sexy with your consent and let her be appreciated by other men.

I think I will try that soon but much easier said than done.

It’s one thing to feel aroused by the without and chat about it , and another to act on it. It’s tough.