Corrupt a Wish...

[DeMont]

**Shazam Schwiiiing** Wish granted, you now have an unlimited line of Winnie the Pooh bears lined up at your front door, back door and windows. You are trapped with your honey!!!

I wish that I didn't have unfulfilled wishes in life.
Respectfully,
D.

 

[HectorBidon]

I wish that I didn't have unfulfilled wishes in life.

You no longer do. From now on, whatever happens, whatever comes, you're going to just put up with it and never wish that things were any different.

I wish I hadn't eaten that second tamale.

 

[DeMont]

**Shazam Schwiiing** All good, no second tamale, no indigestion or flatulence... just remember that next time you're faced with two tamales, okay?

I wish I had a blow up sex doll (they never get headaches) that was a good conversationalist as well!

Respectfully,
D.

(Oh My Goodness! I just had the single biggest "Plot Bunny" leap right into my lap and slap me right in the chops!!!)

 

[dirk2024]

I wish I had a blow up sex doll (they never get headaches) that was a good conversationalist as well!

Granted. Here is your sex doll who is also a good conversationalist. It's so good at it, as a matter of fact, that it won't shut up. It talked the whole time while you screwed it, (two minutes, so it wasn't really too long) and afterwards, when you were trying to go to sleep, it kept on talking. You may never get to sleep at this rate.


I wish I had a bacon cheeseburger.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

A-La-Peanut-Butter-Sandwiches! Poof, you have a bacon cheeseburger!

Of course, that's ALL you have. Hope you like it!

I wish I had a fun wish I could wish!

 

[DeMont]

**Shazam Schwiiiing** Wish granted, you have a fun wish but since you used your wish to wish for it you can't use it as a wish...! Sorry.

I wish I was a male porn actor who only got to make movies with gorgeous, totally uninhibited, women aged 25 to 35 years old and I became very famous, and rich, doing it...!
Respectfully rubbing hands in glee,
D.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

**Shazam Schwiiiing** Wish granted, you have a fun wish but since you used your wish to wish for it you can't use it as a wish...! Sorry.

I wish I was a male porn actor who only got to make movies with gorgeous, totally uninhibited, women aged 25 to 35 years old and I became very famous, and rich, doing it...!
Respectfully rubbing hands in glee,
D.

You have your wish, but, as you should know, the genie has no patience for those who fail to use the subjunctive in wishing, so there you are, an international porn star, having sex with gorgeous, totally uninhibited women aged 25 to 35 from all over the globe, including the one that gave you that incurable and fatal STD. Enjoy your fame and your wealth for the next two weeks, if you last that long.

I wish people would use the subjunctive.

 

[dirk2024]

I wish people would use the subjunctive.

Granted. The Wish Genie also has a wish. That you participate in accomplishing this goal by making you a high school English teacher. Your students don't understand the concept, their parents are moron's who take no responsibility in their children's education and the school's administration punishes you because your students aren't testing well.


I wish I had a Japanese oil massage, given by an attractive Japanese woman.

 

[DeMont]

** Shazam Schwiiiiing**
There you were enjoying your massage when an oil tanker crashed outside the building and flooded all the rooms with 0W-50...!!!

I wish that 'Subjunctives' were a delicious new type of foot long from Subway!

 

[dirk2024]

Granted. FINALLY! Subway has a delicious item on its menu. The world thanks you for making it happen. Quickly customers flock to their doors to nibble on the salty sweet sandwich. That's is, until they find out that subjunctives is actually the Algerian word for camel's testicles. Now, not only do Subway's customers hate you, but camels aren't too fond of you either.


I wish that the story I am stuck on would write itself.

 

[DeMont]

** Shazam Schwiiiing **
Your story has written itself but decided it didn't really like your ideas, changed half the girls to men and half the men into eunuchs as well as introducing sheep!

I wish I could finish all the stories in my Literotica W.I.P. folder and have them published to all get 5.0's and 5 stars
Respectfully, a hard working scribe,
D.

 

[TwitchyBunny]

** Shazam Schwiiiing **
Your story has written itself but decided it didn't really like your ideas, changed half the girls to men and half the men into eunuchs as well as introducing sheep!

I wish I could finish all the stories in my Literotica W.I.P. folder and have them published to all get 5.0's and 5 stars
Respectfully, a hard working scribe,
D.

Granted, but in the explosion of top-tier works, you attract your biggest fan ever: your own mother, unaware that you are the author. You find out in casual conversation when you're discussing your favorite authors. She thinks she's being sneaky, bringing up your username, thinking you could never know what she means. You press her for more information, asking her what "DeMont" has written, and every answer is "oh, I don't recall the name but..." followed by a very vague, innocent description of your own plots.

I wish my dog was still alive.

 

[dirk2024]

I wish my dog was still alive.

Granted. But the Wish Genie is a big fan of dogs. So big that he brought ALL the dead dogs back to life. While this seems fantastic at first, the world was quickly overwhelmed with dog poop. A person couldn't walk anywhere without stepping in a fresh pile. Vermin were attracted to the smelly, messy fresh piles. Quality of life plunged and I won't even begin to tell you what this meant for the worlds cats.


I wish I was President of the USA.

 

[fakingadulthood]

Granted! You are a new member of the band Presidents of the United States of America! You are solely a backup singer for yours and don’t get any royalties from Lump, Peaches or any songs that have already been released. You also have the bunk next to the bathroom when touring.

I wish I could give life to any illustrations or pictures I see in books and magazines

 

[DeMont]

** Shazam Schwiiiing ** Wish granted but as you seem to be unable to stop looking at all sorts of books and magazines from sports illustrated to playboy, and everything in between, so you soon have a crowd of characters and people following you around asking you what they should do now!

I wish I was a world famous hard rock and blues guitarist!
Respectfully,
D.

 

[HectorBidon]

I wish I was a world famous hard rock and blues guitarist!

Only one wish at a time. The genie turns you into a world famous hard rock. Basalt to be precise. The seventeenth rock from the left in this talus pile at the base of the Devils Postpile National Monument, to be even more precise. Rock on!

I wish I could get a good night's sleep.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Only one wish at a time. The genie turns you into a world famous hard rock. Basalt to be precise. The seventeenth rock from the left in this talus pile at the base of the Devils Postpile National Monument, to be even more precise. Rock on!

I wish I could get a good night's sleep.

Presto! You get to sleep on a good night. And it was a good night of sex and partying to celebrate that super trifecta. Imagine winning Powerball, the Irish Sweepstakes, and El Gordo all on the same night. Too bad you were asleep when the gang bought the tickets, and you were sleeping so soundly they didn't want to wake you to join the party. But don't worry; they took pictures to show you when you awoke the next morning.

I wish I didn't have this aching back.

 

[dirk2024]

I wish I didn't have this aching back.

Hmm, after taking an all too brief look at your back, the Wish Genie decided to simply remove it. The good news is that the pain is gone. The bad news is that your basically a slinky now.



I wish I had a pet crow.

 

[TwitchyBunny]

I wish I had a pet crow.

Granted, but you submitted your wish in writing, and the genie is dyslexic, so instead of a crow you are now the proud owner of a cow. You must figure out where to put this cow, and you should probably get another so that the cow does not become lonely and depressed.

I wish my cat's leg could grow back.

 

[DeMont]

@ TwitchyBunny, um, which asylum? Not mine?
**Shazam Schwing** Your cat's leg grew back, on the wrong side...! You now have a perfectly healthy cat with three legs on one side...! (Facepalm at the Genie)

I wish I was right, all the time, about everything!
Respectfully,
D.

 

[Obeylily]

3567

 

[HectorBidon]

I wish I was right, all the time, about everything!

The genie chuckles. This is a wish he gets from time to time. Most clients expect that it will bestow the power to make the world magically conform to their every whim. But actually it works the other way around.

Presto chango. From now on you will strive to live a life of intellectual and moral rectitude. You will no longer offer an opinion unless you are certain it is 100% correct. In every situation you will try to do the right thing. When your buddies call for another round, you'll be the one to point out that it's time to call it a night. When you encounter a panhandler outside the grocery store, you'll reach for your wallet rather than turning away. You'll always do your best to make the world a better place. The genie wishes that more people would emulate your altruistic attitude.

I wish I got a nickel every time someone clicked on one of my stories.

 

[SmilingLez]

The genie chuckles. This is a wish he gets from time to time. Most clients expect that it will bestow the power to make the world magically conform to their every whim. But actually it works the other way around.

Presto chango. From now on you will strive to live a life of intellectual and moral rectitude. You will no longer offer an opinion unless you are certain it is 100% correct. In every situation you will try to do the right thing. When your buddies call for another round, you'll be the one to point out that it's time to call it a night. When you encounter a panhandler outside the grocery store, you'll reach for your wallet rather than turning away. You'll always do your best to make the world a better place. The genie wishes that more people would emulate your altruistic attitude.

I wish I got a nickel every time someone clicked on one of my stories.

Poof, your wish is granted. Nickels start falling from the sky, hitting you repeatedly on your head, unable to move, you suffer a slow and painful death (traumatic brain injury)

I wish literotica would finally post my non erotic short story it's been 3 1⁄2 weeks and it is still in pending purgatory, unseen by human eyes

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Poof, your wish is granted. Nickels start falling from the sky, hitting you repeatedly on your head, unable to move, you suffer a slow and painful death (traumatic brain injury)

I wish literotica would finally post my non erotic short story it's been 3 1⁄2 weeks and it is still in pending purgatory, unseen by human eyes

And so it is, published in a rush, so much of a rush it ended up misplaced in the taboo category. It was, of course, a great disappointment to all who read it expecting a Mom/Son tale at least. Not only did it receive straight ones and bad reviews, it left you with such a bad name as a writer of erotica that no one would ever read another story of yours.

I wish the forecast of 30 cms of snow for tomorrow is wrong.

 

[DeMont]

** Shazam Schwiiiing** Your wish is granted...
The thirty cms of snow actually becomes sixty cms of rain... with hail!!!

I wish there was a way to get a particular person to notice me in a positive, receptive and friendly light!

Respectfully selfishly,
D.