Corrupt a Wish...

[Spurtulator]

Your judgement is now so on point you are able to make decisions with the minimal information or worry. News of your talent reaches the ears of friends, neighbours, celebrities and newspapers. You are dogged by calls from people asking help with decisions. You have no peace, hermit life calls you.

I wish I could have sex appeal

Wish granted - you now have "sex appeal." Only now you are so appealing that both men and women cannot help themselves when around you. It's become such a problem that you cannot be around other people because they cannot control their urges to have sex with you. Every time you interact with other people in-person, it results in a sexual encounter, no matter where you are. Work, getting groceries, doctor's appointments, even getting your car serviced has basically become impossible because everyone wants to shag you. As a result, you have to live in total isolation. A couple times a week you will answer the door for Uber Eats or Door Dash, so you can have some human contact, but of course it always ends up in sex. No matter the gender, age, or appearance of the person you meet, you end up having sex with them. On a positive note, you never have to tip the delivery people and you are highly rated.

I wish I had asked out my high school crush.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Wish granted - you now have "sex appeal." Only now you are so appealing that both men and women cannot help themselves when around you. It's become such a problem that you cannot be around other people because they cannot control their urges to have sex with you. Every time you interact with other people in-person, it results in a sexual encounter, no matter where you are. Work, getting groceries, doctor's appointments, even getting your car serviced has basically become impossible because everyone wants to shag you. As a result, you have to live in total isolation. A couple times a week you will answer the door for Uber Eats or Door Dash, so you can have some human contact, but of course it always ends up in sex. No matter the gender, age, or appearance of the person you meet, you end up having sex with them. On a positive note, you never have to tip the delivery people and you are highly rated.

I wish I had asked out my high school crush.

Poof! You did, and she came across on that first date, but gave you more than a lay. Yes, it was syphilis, and now your brain has rotted beyond repair.

I wish I hadn't given Sally my signed copy of Ginsburg's Howl.

 

[JudeRodney]

Poof! You did, and she came across on that first date, but gave you more than a lay. Yes, it was syphilis, and now your brain has rotted beyond repair.

I wish I hadn't given Sally my signed copy of Ginsburg's Howl.

Done, but she came around and stole it, anyway.

I wish I had a better body.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

You wish is granted, but you also wish you had been more specific about what you meant by 'better.' After all, the human body is very poor when it comes to defense against predators; I'm sure you'll appreciate that in your new rhinoceros bod.

I wish my sexy Scandinavian neighbor would move back in next door.

 

[OffRoadDiesel]

You wish is granted, but you also wish you had been more specific about what you meant by 'better.' After all, the human body is very poor when it comes to defense against predators; I'm sure you'll appreciate that in your new rhinoceros bod.

I wish my sexy Scandinavian neighbor would move back in next door.

Your wish is granted. Your neighbor is sexy as ever but in protective custody by the Feds in exchange for testimony against their partners in a sex/human trafficking ring.

I wish I could make the lives of those around me better without any sacrifice on my part.

 

[ShyDave24]

Your wish is granted. Your neighbor is sexy as ever but in protective custody by the Feds in exchange for testimony against their partners in a sex/human trafficking ring.

I wish I could make the lives of those around me better without any sacrifice on my part.

You got it. I interpreted "around" to mean within your immediate vicinity. Anyone within ten feet of you will immediately feel healthier, have better luck, look more attractive, etc. At first, your friends and family enjoy having you around, but word gets out and more and more people insist on being near you. Eventually, thousands of people are clamoring to get near you. Riots break out, people die, and you never have a single moment of peace again.

I wish I was taller.

 

[Candy_Kane54]

Granted. You are now 50 feet tall, but your musculature and skeletal structure aren't strong enough to hold you upright so you spend the rest of your life reclined.

I wish I could write better.

 

[Spurtulator]

Granted. You are now 50 feet tall, but your musculature and skeletal structure aren't strong enough to hold you upright so you spend the rest of your life reclined.

I wish I could write better.

Poof! Wish granted. Now you are possibly the greatest writer in all of history. Unfortunately now no one wants to hear you speak. The only way you can communicate is through text and email. You have essentially been rendered mute as a result of your writing skills. Which is kind of weird when you are having sex because you can't talk dirty to your partner. You have to hold up your iPad with all of your dirty talk.

I wish I could travel back in time.

 

[DeMont]

Shazam-schwing! Wish granted dear colleague, congratulations you have traveled back in time **taps you on the shoulder** "Er... that's a hungry Tyrannosaurus Rex behind you by the way!"

I wish I was in charge of the world...!

Respectfully, naturally,
D.

 

[Jmanchu]

Shazam-schwing! Wish granted dear colleague, congratulations you have traveled back in time **taps you on the shoulder** "Er... that's a hungry Tyrannosaurus Rex behind you by the way!"

I wish I was in charge of the world...!

Respectfully, naturally,
D.

Granted, but now everyone thinks you're kind of a dick. There's no reasoning either, people just hate authority, and now they're blaming you every time something goes wrong. Even when it's not your fault. And people don't appreciate the hard work and effort you put in to fix things while you're in charge, making sure everything goes right.

I wish I had two more wishes: Now wish I had more money, and I wish I had a sandwich. Make the sandwich just perfect. Bread just the perfect fluff and texture, juicy meat (NOT DRY) and sliced tomatoes. Also, fresh greens, and some culinary mushrooms in between because I'm feelin fancy. Make it tasty. And don't forget the money. Got bills to pay. OH! Don't mix the money with my sandwich! Two VERY separate things.

 

[dirk2024]

Granted, but now everyone thinks you're kind of a dick. There's no reasoning either, people just hate authority, and now they're blaming you every time something goes wrong. Even when it's not your fault. And people don't appreciate the hard work and effort you put in to fix things while you're in charge, making sure everything goes right.

I wish I had two more wishes: Now wish I had more money, and I wish I had a sandwich. Make the sandwich just perfect. Bread just the perfect fluff and texture, juicy meat (NOT DRY) and sliced tomatoes. Also, fresh greens, and some culinary mushrooms in between because I'm feelin fancy. Make it tasty. And don't forget the money. Got bills to pay. OH! Don't mix the money with my sandwich! Two VERY separate things.

Granted, however the game was to only receive one wish. So, according to your first wish, you received more money, fifteen cents to be exact. But then you made your second wish and it ruined the first one, causing your fifteen cents to slip into the black hole in the back of your couch, never to be seen again! When the delivery driver arrived with your sandwich, you were broke so the sandwich was returned.

I wish I had the ability to read minds.

 

[DeMont]

**Shazam-Schwiiiiing** Done, you have the ability to read minds but you can't separate out a single mind. The absolute avalanche of jumbled and chaotic noise in your head will, eventually, drive you insane.

I wish I was indestructible, immortal...
Respects,
D.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

**Shazam-Schwiiiiing** Done, you have the ability to read minds but you can't separate out a single mind. The absolute avalanche of jumbled and chaotic noise in your head will, eventually, drive you insane.

I wish I was indestructible, immortal...
Respects,
D.

Kazammmm! You are indestructible, immortal, and serving a life term in a maximum security prison for those random murders you committed when your new-found power went to your head.

I wish winter wasn't coming.

 

[dirk2024]

I wish winter wasn't coming.

Granted. Winter doesn't come. Just summer and even more summer. The world's issues with global warming and drought increases. Food production fails. People starve. Humans are on the path to extinction. All because you couldn't be bothered to wear a jacket and gloves.


I wish Johnny Cash was still alive.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

Granted. Winter doesn't come. Just summer and even more summer. The world's issues with global warming and drought increases. Food production fails. People starve. Humans are on the path to extinction. All because you couldn't be bothered to wear a jacket and gloves.


I wish Johnny Cash was still alive.

Granted… he never became a musician though and would instead go down a career path that meant you didn’t hear his music. Instead someone else is chosen to sing his songs but they never become hits.

I wish I was in the Maldives.

 

[SmilingLez]

Your wish is granted. President Muizzu allows the Chinese government to put a heavy metal and volatile liquids garbage dump within a mile of your hotel. Toxic fumes kill you.

I wish the world was at peace

 

[Baztrachian]

I wish the world was at peace

Granted. After a long nuclear exchange everything on the planet is dead and the world is at peace.

I wish that the mosquito in the room with me right now would find her way outside without me having to kill her.

 

[dirk2024]

Granted. After a long nuclear exchange everything on the planet is dead and the world is at peace.

I wish that the mosquito in the room with me right now would find her way outside without me having to kill her.

Granted. However that mosquito happened to be carrying malaria and found your loved one who had come to visit. They are currently in the hospital on life support since they were never vaccinated for malaria.


I wish my axe had a sharp edge.

 

[Erozetta]

Granted. However that mosquito happened to be carrying malaria and found your loved one who had come to visit. They are currently in the hospital on life support since they were never vaccinated for malaria.


I wish my axe had a sharp edge.

Granted, but every time you pick it up, you get an unremovable splinter randomly on your body somewhere.

I wish people were only as beautiful or ugly as they behaved towards others.

 

[onehitwanda]

I wish people were only as beautiful or ugly as they behaved towards others.

Granted, but the beauty or ugliness is judged by a third party who is of diametrical opposite alignment to you.

I wish I was twenty five again.

 

[nice90sguy]

Granted. You fall in love with a woman twice your age who considers you far too immature and inexperienced.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

 

[Bamagan]

Granted. You fall in love with a woman twice your age who considers you far too immature and inexperienced.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

Okay, sure, wish fulfilled. Of course, that's all you can see now, and your eyelids are basically transparent to you and do nothing to shield your vision, so you're always looking at something. Plus, emitting that many X-rays gives you and most of the people around you various cancers.

I wish I hadn't made this wish.

 

[dirk2024]

I wish I hadn't made this wish.

But you did, didn't you? Your lack of specificity has annoyed our feisty genie and he has decided to grant "your wish" by removing your ability to ever wish for anything ever again.


I wish I had a beer right now.

 

[DeMont]

**Shazam schwiiiiing** Wish granted, you're floating in a settling/brewing tank of beer and someone took the ladder away.

I wish i had another wish for every wish I made!

 

[dirk2024]

I wish i had another wish for every wish I made!

The Wish Genie pummels you about the head and shoulders with a cat-o-nine-wet noodles for your greed. Grudgingly, he gives you one wish, winning the lottery. At first, its great. You buy a new mansion and move in. Then your relatives find out. Despite your best efforts, 38 of them track you down and move into your new mansion with you. Your not-so-hot aunt wants to sleep with you, to the point of slipping you a roofie when you fail to give in to her flirtacious ways. When you awake, her husband, your hairy uncle, is snoring in bed next to you. And yes, you both are nude.

And your ass is sore.





I wish I had a pizza right now.