The term 'collared girl' is a lot like the term 'asian girl' or 'dutch girl' or, etc. It takes something that a person may be proud of, and something that accurately describes a person, and something that is often a very beautiful term, and it becomes dirty. It's like the word 'queer'. I'm queer. I'm not gay, I'm bi, but I consider myself queer. And when I hear someone say it in a mean, snide way (to my face, as the internet just couldn't bother me with that), it bothers me. Same with collared girl. It's a beautiful term. It shows what a girl is, if she is truly a submissive, and is truly collared, and it just, to me, sounds beautiful. However, when said with hatred and snideness, it becomes something ugly, something that many collared women mgiht hang their heads at. It is the ugly connotations that have been attached to the words, rather than the words themselves which are intolerant, which are mean and cruel. If I were collared by my Dominant (I don't have one, this is hypothetical), I would be proud if he called me 'his collared girl', because I'd know that he said it with love and pride. It is those idiots who made the word 'faggot' mean more than a bundle of sticks, and who made 'nipons' be a derogatory word for Japanese, and those people who make fun of smart people by calling them 'nerds and rejects' that have made the words 'collared girl' seem so terrible.
Collared Girl
- Thread starter lavender
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You folks are confusing as hell do you know that?
Posting under several differnt names/personalities
Contradicting your self in the same thread.
Saying you have class but get a backbone.....
Hanns threatening people with guns
You people are too much
I spent entirely too much time trying to figure out who was right and who was wrong......but you know what. All you argumentative crybabies are Nuts!!!
Im not the only one who is bored to tears with your fights/makeups/insults/threats, and more fights. Who's on who's team, who's cool who's not. And last but not least who the hell is who.
Take it to the playground forum....thats where it belongs.
Killswitch
Posting under several differnt names/personalities
Contradicting your self in the same thread.
Saying you have class but get a backbone.....
Hanns threatening people with guns
You people are too much
I spent entirely too much time trying to figure out who was right and who was wrong......but you know what. All you argumentative crybabies are Nuts!!!
Im not the only one who is bored to tears with your fights/makeups/insults/threats, and more fights. Who's on who's team, who's cool who's not. And last but not least who the hell is who.
Take it to the playground forum....thats where it belongs.
Killswitch
Freya
gmilf
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Re: You folks are confusing as hell do you know that?
Just to clarify for you, since you seem unable to grasp the sarcasm inherent in some words. I was being sarcastic about Lav getting a backbone - it was in response to the cowardly Unreg who suggested that the term fit her, when I think we all know it wouldn't.
Ok? Got that now? Hint: take half of what I say, apply a sarcastic twist, and you'll get what I'm thinking.
Killswitch said:
Just to clarify for you, since you seem unable to grasp the sarcasm inherent in some words. I was being sarcastic about Lav getting a backbone - it was in response to the cowardly Unreg who suggested that the term fit her, when I think we all know it wouldn't.
Ok? Got that now? Hint: take half of what I say, apply a sarcastic twist, and you'll get what I'm thinking.
takingchances42
Multicellular Life Form
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zipman7 said:
Damned good question, Zip. I'll be curious to see not so much the written answer (if any), but the actions that follow over the next week or two.
Deciding which insults are allowable or not for other posters, is just plain controlling silliness. Once a flame war gets started, anyone here is free to call anyone else anything -- including insults about sexual choices, intelligence, weight, whatever...
The key point being that by choosing to use such insults, the insulter risks pissing off large numbers of the residents here, and rightly so. Their choice. *shrugs*
zipman
Literotica Guru
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lavender said:
I wasn't accusing you of using it. I was just curious to see whether or not you felt it was wrong also.
Storm has been using it to describe Lance. But it is not the first time I have seen it used here.
What bothers me more than the use of Collared Girl, is the way that groups of people here have taken to using it feed the paranoia here.
Collared girl is being used to identify women on the board who are apparently some part of a Hanns conspiracy.
In actuality, Vixenshe described the term, and what it would mean for a sub very well. It would be a compliment to a sub to be referred to in that way by her Dom.
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]Trying to figure it all out is futile at best.....Realizing its pretty rediculous only takes a few minutes.lavender said:
Killswitch
lavender
Cautiously Optimistic
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Taking Chances, if you'll refer to my response to Zipman, you will note that I have never used the phrase DramaDom. I don't even know what the fuck a DramaDom is. In my opinion, that phrase is ridiculous. To assume that a Dom/me is any more drama oriented than any other regular person is kinda ludicrous to me.
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Re: Re: You folks are confusing as hell do you know that?
Freya,
With all due respect...I was never that good at Math. I'm also not going to go buy a graphing calculator or run spreadsheets to try and figure out what someone is saying.
Killswitch
Freya2 said:
Freya,
With all due respect...I was never that good at Math. I'm also not going to go buy a graphing calculator or run spreadsheets to try and figure out what someone is saying.
Killswitch
lavender
Cautiously Optimistic
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zipman7 said:
But here's the rub to all of this zipman. You recognize that use of someone's sexuality is a low blow in argumentation. You assume that using name's that refer to one's position as a Dom/me or sub is wrong and feeds paranoia.
You see, this is a hot topic for you because you are involved in the community. It is a hot button for me, because I just find it to be wrong and intolerant in general.
But I posit the question to you, is it wrong to use someone's sexuality or sexual beliefs against them if they do not belong to the BDSM community? (which is my way of saying nilla
)The reason I say this is because some of the same people who I defend here due to their sexuality, use my sexuality and my strength as a woman and a feminist (which is inherent in my own personal sexuality) against me.
I guess life is just cluttered with too many two-way streets.
Freya
gmilf
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Re: Re: Re: You folks are confusing as hell do you know that?
Then if you can't take the time to figure out that people are joking, don't get your panties in a twist when you don't get the real point of things.
Killswitch said:Freya,
With all due respect...I was never that good at Math. I'm also not going to go buy a graphing calculator or run spreadsheets to try and figure out what someone is saying.
Killswitch
Then if you can't take the time to figure out that people are joking, don't get your panties in a twist when you don't get the real point of things.
takingchances42
Multicellular Life Form
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lavender said:
I didn't remember who had been using the phrase, and viewed Zip's question as being an open one that anyone was free to respond to.
Personally, I thought "DramaDom" was kind of funny. My only problem was if _someone_ (anyone) would claim that collared girl was insensitive but DramaDom was just fine.
lavender said:
But I posit the question to you, is it wrong to use someone's sexuality or sexual beliefs against them if they do not belong to the BDSM community? (which is my way of saying nilla
Feels to me like it's the same things as calling a gay person a queer or a dyke, a fag, fudge packer, etc. Derogatory terms for what someone truly is, and may be proud of. It's making something beautiful seem like it's gross, dirty, obscene, etc.
alexandraaah
tangential
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vixenshe said:
This is a great point.
It all boils down to personal interpretation.
Freya
gmilf
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lavender said:
But I posit the question to you, is it wrong to use someone's sexuality or sexual beliefs against them if they do not belong to the BDSM community? (which is my way of saying nilla
The reason I say this is because some of the same people who I defend here due to their sexuality, use my sexuality and my strength as a woman and a feminist (which is inherent in my own personal sexuality) against me.
I guess life is just cluttered with too many two-way streets.
I think it is. And for the record, I don't use it against you - I admire you for your beliefs and the backbone you have in regards to defending them. I just use it as a comparison tool. It's more than a belief to you, it's a lifestyle - and as much as that is true, so is it equally true for those who are Dom or sub, or live their lives follwong and living by any other belief or style..
REDWAVE
Urban Jungle Dweller
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Since I've never used the term, I have no problem with continuing to refrain from using it, especially in a derogatory manner. In fact, my New Year's Resolution for Lit. is to refrain from calling anyone else on the board any names.
Even the racist pigs.
Even the racist pigs.
lavender, I admire you for your views and your intent, but I realize that it isn't going to make any difference in the things that are said here. I used to try to influence others in a positive manner, until I realized that I was being silly, foolish and very naive. Actually, I've realized many things lately, and the biggest being that words only have the power you allow them to. I've had it all said to me in my time here, and not a thing said to me truly affects me anymore, not even the nice stuff. The nice stuff gives me a little smile, a nod, but it surely doesn't shape my day anymore. The negative, insulting, demeaning and hideous stuff is no different except for the fact that it is done with a cruel intent. I realize its just words on a message board from people that don't truly know me. They do not interact with me in person, or here or anywhere else, for that matter (well, a few do) and they have no clue what I'm about. Until they do, why should their words mean a flying fuck to me? I know who and what I am and that is all that matters.
I'm sorry, but it is unrealistic to think we'll ever get along peacefully, minus the name calling, trolling, and the cowardly digs from the weak minded, spineless unregs. It just isn't going to happen. I realize that is not what you're requesting, but it fits in the sense that the expression you mentioned is offensive to you, but I'm betting there are other members that are offended by other expressions and acts they see posted. Since we can't change others, it is in our best interest to change how we allow others to effect us.
I hope you don't take this as some type of blast to you, that is not how it is intended. I once wished for the same things as you do, but have accepted that it will never be like that.
I'm sorry, but it is unrealistic to think we'll ever get along peacefully, minus the name calling, trolling, and the cowardly digs from the weak minded, spineless unregs. It just isn't going to happen. I realize that is not what you're requesting, but it fits in the sense that the expression you mentioned is offensive to you, but I'm betting there are other members that are offended by other expressions and acts they see posted. Since we can't change others, it is in our best interest to change how we allow others to effect us.
I hope you don't take this as some type of blast to you, that is not how it is intended. I once wished for the same things as you do, but have accepted that it will never be like that.
G
