Collared Girl

[zipman]

But here's the rub to all of this zipman. You recognize that use of someone's sexuality is a low blow in argumentation. You assume that using name's that refer to one's position as a Dom/me or sub is wrong and feeds paranoia.

You see, this is a hot topic for you because you are involved in the community. It is a hot button for me, because I just find it to be wrong and intolerant in general.

But I posit the question to you, is it wrong to use someone's sexuality or sexual beliefs against them if they do not belong to the BDSM community? (which is my way of saying nilla )

The reason I say this is because some of the same people who I defend here due to their sexuality, use my sexuality and my strength as a woman and a feminist (which is inherent in my own personal sexuality) against me.

I guess life is just cluttered with too many two-way streets.

Actually Lav, the use of the term as a member of the BDSM community doesn't really bother me that much at all. What I really objected to was the conspiracy based paranoia crap that has been going on here and the way that people have just jumped on the bandwagon, without knowing anything.

We have these little cliques (or groups of friends or whatever you may want to call them) that start spreading this stuff and judging someone (in this case Freya) and using this term (Collared girl) as an insult when they don't know Freya. Then their friends (part of the same clique) start doing it based on the "mob mentality."

That behavior bothers me a lot more than a name ever could.

 

[Mischka]

In fact, my New Year's Resolution for Lit. is to refrain from calling anyone else on the board any names.

Even the racist pigs.

Uh huh. I'm sorry, but I doubt you can be nice to anyone even if they came up and kissed you on the nose. You assume the worst of people.

 

[LadyG]

Bitch! You leave that collar on until I tell you to take it off - got it?



Sorry, I just wanted to be tough for a minute there.

Dammit..the spikes are hurting tho!

Oh wait, I have it on backwards!


In serious mode though, I see where Lav is coming from and Vixen spelled it out quite nicely too.

Unfortunately, you just know that it's gonna increase in usage now due to the nature of certain people involved.

 

[lavender]

Ah, but Zip, that's the chances you take when you side with someone. If I started posting all over the board agreeing with ppman or REDWAVE (even though I often agree with what they say, in a milder fashion) don't you think I would have PC, DCL, miles and everyone else all after my ass. Dont' you think they would wonder what the hell was up. Don't you think they would tell me I had gone fucking nuts?

Of course they would.

Granted, everyone here expects me to take heat because I dish it out. No one would come defend me really because Lavy can take care of herself- which is true.

But, this maxim applies to all posters who knowingly place themselves in the role of defender. Just look how many people told me to start worrying about myself and not to defend people like JMJ or Debbiexxx. I took heat for my defense of these posters who are very well liked. I took heat from the exact posters who are involved in this whole thing actually.

So, I don't really see any problems with people attacking someone for defending someone else. It's human nature. I don't think the mob mentality has been in place regarding this more than in any other scenario.

I just think resorting to using sexual proclivities as an insult is a lowblow. I think there are other more logical and less inflammatory ways of dealing with people.

 

[lavender]

Uh huh. I'm sorry, but I doubt you can be nice to anyone even if they came up and kissed you on the nose. You assume the worst of people.

Actually, REDWAVE is always very nice to me.

 

[Mischka]

Actually, REDWAVE is always very nice to me.

Did you miss PC's thread? REDWAVE called you a racist.

 

[Guest]

 

[LadyG]

I'll lend you one, Lioness, then you won't be left out, k?

 

[REDWAVE]

Thanks

Why, thank you, lav. And if Mischka comes up and kisses me on the nose, I promise to be nice to her.

 

[Problem Child]

Mmm, let's see...yup, right down near the end of my first post.

You're xenophobic, too. Good going lavy!

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=130837

 

[takingchances42]

So, I don't really see any problems with people attacking someone for defending someone else. It's human nature. I don't think the mob mentality has been in place regarding this more than in any other scenario.

I just think resorting to using sexual proclivities as an insult is a lowblow. I think there are other more logical and less inflammatory ways of dealing with people.

So... you have the right to attack people for whatever reason seems sufficient to you, in whatever manner seems appropriate to you?

But, dammit, nobody else should return the insults in a manner that hits your individual hot buttons?

We all have hot buttons. The better thing would be if the insults never got going in the first place. But if anyone is going to make a choice to get down in the mud, they have no cause to complain if the mud that gets slung back isn't the kind of mud they like...

 

[Freya]

Agreed Lady G.

And Zip, thanks for the points you made. In actuality, I wouldn't be offended by the term if I was a submissive to someone - I would wear it proudly. However, I'm not, and so it's just a silly term to use. But it implies much more than its actual real world connotations - it's used here as a means to show that the person who is being called that, lacks the ability to think for themselves, and is so swayed by a man's overpowering maleness that they'd follwo them mindlessly in any venture. It has also been used as a way of enforcing some paranoid beliefs that there is some widespread conspiracy with Hanns and others, and whoever is called a collared girl is supposedly guilty by association. The funniest thing about it, at least in my regard, is that it's all come up from an argument in which I think I proved very well that I have the ability to think for myself.

And as far as being nice to those who are hated, it seems to me that if people would stop getting their panties in a twist over what others say, and maybe try to defuse the situations at times, instead of feeding more fuel into the fire, those people would probably lighten up a bit as well. I had a fairly serious disagreement with Redwave the other day, but because I allowed it to cool off and didn't keep getting my digs in, we actually ended it on a fairly lighthearted note - thus preventing either of us (hopefully) from having an instant bias to something the other says in the future.

 

[Guest]

 

[Freya]

You never talk to me like that. Now I'm jealous.

Fine then!
Lioness

Bitch! On your knees where you belong! Don't speak until you're spoken to!


Oh, and give that a little lick would ya?








See? And KM said I couldn't be bitchy....pshaw!

 

[LadyG]

lol, that's good, cause I'd already chucked my other one. It reeked, you know? I think it came from a mildewy basement or something.

I'm sure anything you could come up with would be much much prettier.

Lioness

You can have the purple one or the pretty pink one, your choice!

No mildew on them, I promise!

 

[Mischka]

So... you have the right to attack people for whatever reason seems sufficient to you, in whatever manner seems appropriate to you?

But, dammit, nobody else should return the insults in a manner that hits your individual hot buttons?

It was a comment. A mere suggestion to elicit a discussion. Kinda like your How To Be Popular thread.

 

[zipman]

Ah, but Zip, that's the chances you take when you side with someone. If I started posting all over the board agreeing with ppman or REDWAVE (even though I often agree with what they say, in a milder fashion) don't you think I would have PC, DCL, miles and everyone else all after my ass. Dont' you think they would wonder what the hell was up. Don't you think they would tell me I had gone fucking nuts?

Of course they would.

Granted, everyone here expects me to take heat because I dish it out. No one would come defend me really because Lavy can take care of herself- which is true.

But, this maxim applies to all posters who knowingly place themselves in the role of defender. Just look how many people told me to start worrying about myself and not to defend people like JMJ or Debbiexxx. I took heat for my defense of these posters who are very well liked. I took heat from the exact posters who are involved in this whole thing actually.

So, I don't really see any problems with people attacking someone for defending someone else. It's human nature. I don't think the mob mentality has been in place regarding this more than in any other scenario.

I just think resorting to using sexual proclivities as an insult is a lowblow. I think there are other more logical and less inflammatory ways of dealing with people.

Sorry, you lost me on that one? I was explaining why the use of "Collared Girl" bothered me. Mostly it was the way it was being used, as a means of ostrasizing and minimizing the opinions of one poster (Freya) based on the perceptions of a clique here on Lit. This people that make up this clique (and others too) jumped on this word as a part of the Hanns conspiracy crap.

My problem was and is that I agree with posts based on the post, and not other people's perceptions of the poster. I have agreed with Hanns in the past, I think I may have even agreed with REDWAVE once or twice. Big deal. But if you, or anyone else did I would argue the points made and not try and turn people against you by pm'ing people and using the paranoia of a conspiracy to minnimize people's opinion of you. Now before you get defensive I am not accusing you of anything. I am simply stating that this is how "collared Firl" was being used by people to describe anyone who didn't hate and attack Hanns.

Now I couldn't care less about Hanns (regardless of whether he is a person or just some poster's character). Regardless, the identity of Hanns (name and gun AV) represent intolerance and hate to me. Does that mean I must disagree with everything he say's? No, it doesn't. But when people begin to ostracize others because they joke around with Hanns, well then I think it's wrong and I am going to speak up.

For anyone that has a problem with that, they can feel free to flame away. I couldn't care less. I am speaking about a board dynamic here, and hate to see things dragged down to the high school level of "you insulted my friend so now I hate you and so does everyone else." I graduated from high school a long time ago, and I have much less tolerance for that kind of crap now than I did back then.

 

[takingchances42]

It was a comment. A mere suggestion to elicit a discussion. Kinda like your How To Be Popular thread.

I commented in reply, attempting to make my point. And there are different kinds of amusement...

 

[REDWAVE]

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

I see you were quick to pick up that line for your sig, Mischka!


BTW, when did I call lavender a racist? I sure don't remember that. I remember I called her "privileged" a time or two, but I don't remember ever calling her racist.

 

[Guest]

 

[REDWAVE]

Damn!

How come no one calls me "bitch," and tells me to get down on my knees?

 

[Freya]

Re: Damn!

How come no one calls me "bitch," and tells me to get down on my knees?

Because we know you'd like it too much.







Bitch!

 

[zipman]

Re: Damn!

How come no one calls me "bitch," and tells me to get down on my knees?

Because you would instantly complain that it was part of a racist, capitalist plot to disenfranchise you

 

[Mischka]

Re: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

I see you were quick to pick up that line for your sig, Mischka!


BTW, when did I call lavender a racist? I sure don't remember that. I remember I called her "privileged" a time or two, but I don't remember ever calling her racist.

I'm documenting your quote for future reference.

Just do a search for your name and "racist." You've called lavy a racist and a xenophobe. And here I thought I was the only xenophobe. I feel so ordinary.

 

[REDWAVE]

Darn, Freya, you saw right through me, didn't you?