Being sexualized

[realmint]

My husband and I heard a comment in a news report about girls that were, "sexualized." I thought about that expression and had a few thoughts I wanted to share.

When human's are born they have sexual organs that are not developed. They do not have awareness of sex or sexual desire. At some age they will be told sexual basics but that is not really being sexualized. After thinking about it it occurred to me that in a general sense sexualization for most people probably takes place at the moment of their first orgasm. Each orgasm in life lights up a portion of our brain and we are flooded with beautiful sensation. But the moment of first orgasm is unique in what it accomplishes. The brain lights up with the same intense sensation of pleasure but it also lights up with awareness that there is such a pleasure. In that instant, I think it is fair to say that, a person's life changes and in that instant they are sexualized.

That may not be the sense of the word in the news comment that I mentioned. That context was about something abusive. And sadly many times the moment of sexualization could be the result of some form of abuse. But the reality is that no matter how it takes place we all have our first orgasm and in that instant we become changed in the most basic way. I had coffee this morning think back to that moment in my own life. That beautiful moment when I became sexualized.

 

[AnnieLit]

Your theory would be nice if not for the fact that most men and at least some woman have their first orgasms long before they start thinking about themselves as sexual beings.

Not to mention the there are quite a few adult women that love sex but have never experienced orgasm at all. They just enjoy other aspects of it.

As for the sexualization of the girls... I am assuming you were listening to some reporting on the Epstein story? If so, I highly doubt anybody cared about their pleasure.

 

[Britva415]

Interesting that you interpret "getting sexualized," which is a social phenomenon, entirely through a physiological lens.

 

[NoFix4691]

Children are ready to become sexually aware from puberty. Parents are not willing to allow that to happen as it represents the end of childhood. Teenagers are physically ready (at least to a limited extent) to reproduce but not psychologically capable of raising an infant. I think that bringing a teenager to sexual awareness with their consent by someone of a similar age is very healthy. (I speak from experience.) The problems arise when the "perpetrator" does it for their own self-gratification.

 

[nostuff]

Humans are, of course, sexual beings, but to say we are "sexualized" means something different -- and not in a pleasant way. To quote Wikipedia:

Sexualization is linked to sexual objectification, treating a person solely as an object of sexual desire. According to the American Psychological Association, sexualization occurs when "individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness."

"In study after study, findings have indicated that women more often than men are portrayed in a sexual manner (e.g., dressed in revealing clothing, with bodily postures or facial expressions that imply sexual readiness) and are objectified (e.g., used as a decorative object, or as body parts rather than a whole person). In addition, a narrow (and unrealistic) standard of physical beauty is heavily emphasized. These are the models of femininity presented for young girls to study and emulate."

I would suggest sexualization is not as bad as in years past. To get a sense of it, just watch some of the TV shows and movies from the 1950s and 1960s, when women were routinely portrayed as needing big, strong men to take care of them. And the lyrics to some (many?) hit songs from that era bordered on pedophilia.

That's not to say we're out of the woods yet. Jeffrey Epstein and those enablers who have yet to be exposed are just one symptom.

To borrow a phrase: We've come a long way, baby. But we're not there yet.

 

[NoFix4691]

Humans are, of course, sexual beings, but to say we are "sexualized" means something different -- and not in a pleasant way. To quote Wikipedia:

Sexualization is linked to sexual objectification, treating a person solely as an object of sexual desire. According to the American Psychological Association, sexualization occurs when "individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness."

"In study after study, findings have indicated that women more often than men are portrayed in a sexual manner (e.g., dressed in revealing clothing, with bodily postures or facial expressions that imply sexual readiness) and are objectified (e.g., used as a decorative object, or as body parts rather than a whole person). In addition, a narrow (and unrealistic) standard of physical beauty is heavily emphasized. These are the models of femininity presented for young girls to study and emulate."

I would suggest sexualization is not as bad as in years past. To get a sense of it, just watch some of the TV shows and movies from the 1950s and 1960s, when women were routinely portrayed as needing big, strong men to take care of them. And the lyrics to some (many?) hit songs from that era bordered on pedophilia.

That's not to say we're out of the woods yet. Jeffrey Epstein and those enablers who have yet to be exposed are just one symptom.

To borrow a phrase: We've come a long way, baby. But we're not there yet.

Yes, I was not using the term in this sense. It is sometimes used to mean "raising sexual awareness". I hate to see children dressed provocatively like in the American toddler beauty queen competitions.

 

[SusanHoward]

I always liked that boys thought I was cute and wanted to take me out. The fact that older guys may also find me sexually desirable is part of being attractive. I wasn’t in toddler competitions, but I really enjoy being the object of mens’ sexual desire.

 

[danjtoy]

I always liked that boys thought I was cute and wanted to take me out. The fact that older guys may also find me sexually desirable is part of being attractive. I wasn’t in toddler competitions, but I really enjoy being the object of mens’ sexual desire.

Some things are just objectively true. You're cute

 

[nostuff]

I always liked that boys thought I was cute and wanted to take me out. The fact that older guys may also find me sexually desirable is part of being attractive. I wasn’t in toddler competitions, but I really enjoy being the object of mens’ sexual desire.

Of course men find you desirable, because you are really, really hot. And if I'm ever in the neighborhood, I'd love to take you out.

 

[Gettingweirder]

Your theory would be nice if not for the fact that most men and at least some woman have their first orgasms long before they start thinking about themselves as sexual beings.

Not to mention the there are quite a few adult women that love sex but have never experienced orgasm at all. They just enjoy other aspects of it.

As for the sexualization of the girls... I am assuming you were listening to some reporting on the Epstein story? If so, I highly doubt anybody cared about their pleasure.

The fact that people are out here trying to normalize adults sexualizing children is disgusting and deserves to be called out. Way to go Annie.

 

[FoxtrotJulietRomeo]

Not sure anyone completely understands anyone else's posts on here (me included) but I'm tempted to offer my own experiences.

I wasn't sexualised - I became sexualised - and nobody (directly) made that happen except me and nor did it involve my first orgasm!

Right back to first starting school, I knew there were things I liked - I just had no idea why - and I had no idea what sex was.

I liked films where the women ended up in some form of 'distress' or got tied up. If they were barefoot, even better. No idea why, certainly no physical reaction. I just (somehow) quietly enjoyed it.

As we grew up, we played games around our houses and gardens and again, if the girls involved got tied up and/or ended up barefoot, I liked it. Still no idea why and still no reaction.

For reasons of what I can only describe as 'general carelessness' around me and in some cases 'too much information' I learned quite a lot, quite early but none of it was of significance or any great interest. In the very early 70's, soft porn was freely available in many, many places and in particular, out Post Office would simply add a 'five bob magazine' to the paper bill without actually checking what I was heading out of the door with!

This probably started after I started finding 'literature' around the house which apparently had been borrowed from 'a chap at work'. Most of it was stories but there were tits and bums too.

I liked the bondage or S & M-flavoured stories and I quite liked my mother's extensive collection of strappy shoes!! I also quite liked the regular houseful of older women sitting around in their underwear while me dressmaker Grandmother worked on what ever alterations they wanted done.

I don't particularly remember 'hitting' puberty - just that at some point, I'd clearly passed it - and around that time, saw my first full-frontals. So THAT'S what it looks like....!!!

Eventually, I got around to this thing that lots of others at school had been going on about here and there - mostly thrown around as an insult - 'wanking'!

So how does that work? Only one way to find out...

FUCKING HELL!! So bloody intense, I thought I'd damaged something!! Fuck!! Better get this mess cleaned up before anyone notices....!!!

That was first-year secondary school but it was two years later before I stood at the front gate with my hands in my buxom girlfriend's bra and another year before I decided my mother's friend clearly had a really amazing rack...!!!

There it was! Me, sexualised - but only by my own curiosity, interest and actions - and in no way manipulated or coerced by anyone else.

Maybe I was lucky. If only I'd shown the same level of interest in knitting or something equally harmless...!!

 

[UtilityCurve]

I always liked that boys thought I was cute and wanted to take me out. The fact that older guys may also find me sexually desirable is part of being attractive. I wasn’t in toddler competitions, but I really enjoy being the object of mens’ sexual desire.

This. There was a piece in National Review (the OG right-wing press) more than a few years ago where a woman wrote that there were times when she wanted absolutely nothing more than for her husband to think of her as a sex object. Times like "he's stressed and I know exactly how to fix that;" "I feel attractive because of the way I dressed and I want to be, um, appreciated;" "I saw him checking another woman out and she got nothing on me!;" "he looks so uhh when he's carrying that heavy stuff like it's nothing--just wait until he gets out of the shower!"

You tell me, I'm not a woman, but wanting to just be taken (she went as far as to say"used," which I thought was racy for the right, but decades earlier there was that whole "Total Woman" thing and despite that being an even more repressed time, it caused a lot of pearls to be clutched!) sometimes makes biological, evolutionary, social and psychological sense. If women's dominant desire was to overpower men in the same way (bigger, stronger), well like the Stones sang: No satisfaction. No one should feel there's anything wrong with ... I guess the word I want is "fitting." Thankfully (for guys) even now the vast majority of women don't. They like what they like, dammit, and if that's him on top, that's how they'll find us if the roof caves in.

The problem is solely when you exclusively relate to other people as sex objects/potential tools for your own pleasure. That's when the complaints on TV, podcasts and TikTok about "sexualization" and "they only think about one thing" have validity.

(I'm waiting for the lunar eclipse, otherwise I wouldn't be going on and on. Thank you for reading this far. Blame the moon.)

 

[kathyisgr65]

Sexualized to me refers to dressing and teaching a child to act inappropriately sexual in situations that they can't even comprehend or understand what is going on or the effects of it will have on the rest of their life.
The love map will associate sex with love and affection.
They are being trained to use their budding sexuality to get what they want...
I don't think it's anything about anything as pleasurable as the first o...

 

[Wilson23]

When people talk about little girls being sexualized, they are usually referring to beauty pageants.