Chubby Checker sues over The Chubby Checker

[RoryN]

Awesome.

Chubby Checker sues HP over penis size app

Chubby Checker, the musician best known for his 1960 hit recording of "The Twist," is suing HP over a novelty app for Palm OS of the same name that claims to check the size of your "chubby." The sum sought is a mind-boggling half a billion dollars.

The rock-and-roll star, whose real name is Ernest Evans, filed the suit this week in a Florida federal court, simultaneously releasing a statement describing the reasoning behind the suit. Willie Gary, an attorney who has already chalked up a number of large-sum legal wins, says that the app has caused "irreparable damage" to Evans' reputation and legacy.

"Chubby Checker" was a $0.99 app originally made for Palm OS (which was abandoned in 2009 in favor of Palm's WebOS). It allowed users to input the size of a male subject's feet and receive, in return, an estimation of the size of that guy's genitalia. For entertainment purposes only, of course.

Such novelty apps are now commonplace, naturally, as is the understanding that such apps are developed by companies or developers totally independent of the larger corporations that offer them in App Stores, such as Apple or Google. Takedown requests for apps that abuse copyrights or trademarks are also commonplace, although going after damages is uncommon — and damages of this scale are unheard-of.

The suit and supporting documents can be read here (PDF), and readers can form their own opinions as to its merit. But factor this in: Though the $500 million requested in the suit includes compensation for damage to reputation and other measures, the app itself was a dud. According to records at unofficial Palm app archival site House of Palm, it was downloaded only 84 times, potentially netting the parent company a grand total of around $25.

HP, which bought Palm in 2010 and is thus the primary target of the lawsuit, issued the following statement to NBC: "The application was not created by HP or Palm. It was removed in September 2012 and is no longer on any Palm or HP hosted web site."

One thing seems certain: If no one thought of "Chubby Checker" as a euphemism for this type of thing before, they certainly will after this.

Devin Coldewey is a contributing writer for NBC News Digital. His personal website is coldewey.cc.

http://www.nbcnews.com/technology/gadgetbox/chubby-checker-sues-hp-over-penis-size-app-1C8383682

 

[remy_lebeau8]

Wow... I didnt even know he was still alive

 

[RoryN]

Wow... I didnt even know he was still alive

Arguably in better shape now than he was years ago.

Sam the Sham seems to be as well.

 

[Paendragon]

The Chubby Checker. That is fucking awesome. Lol.

 

[remy_lebeau8]

Arguably in better shape now than he was years ago.

Sam the Sham seems to be as well.

Just looked him up. Didnt realize chubby was that young. I assumed he was up there with bb king and chuck berry

 

[CHNOPS]

Just looked him up. Didnt realize chubby was that young. I assumed he was up there with bb king and chuck berry

You're thinking of Fats Domino.

Coincidentally an Android app for checking the calorie content of cheap pizza.

 

[RoryN]

Just looked him up. Didnt realize chubby was that young. I assumed he was up there with bb king and chuck berry

I saw one of Chuck Berry's last performances (he recently stopped). He could hardly play, though he showed glimpses of his halcyon years.

Saw B.B. King, too: totally different story. Electric performance, as if he were merely 40.

 

[remy_lebeau8]

I saw one of Chuck Berry's last performances (he recently stopped). He could hardly play, though he showed glimpses of his halcyon years.

Saw B.B. King, too: totally different story. Electric performance, as if he were merely 40.

Ya Chucks been like that for a while. I've heard hes a prick too. I would love to see B.B but last he was in Detroit they were askin 80 bucks a ticket. Fuckin casios

 

[RoryN]

Ya Chucks been like that for a while. I've heard hes a prick too.

Legendary prick.

You can sort of sense it in a couple of his "What I've Learned" responses in Esquire, though many of them are great...

I'll be doing just fine if you turn off that tape recorder. This isn't a performance. If you want to hear me perform, buy one of my records.

I would sing the blues if I had the blues.

I've always liked words. I even like some words that aren't in the dictionary.

One word: variety.

Of the five most important things in life, health is first, education or knowledge is second, and wealth is third. I forget the other two.

You don't just go to the studio and say, "I'm going to write a hit." It becomes a hit when people like your compositions.

I didn't connect with the kids. I was in the studio. I never saw the kids.

I hoped they liked it, of course. And then I'd go write some more. And then I'd go buy me a home. Very American.

It amazes me when I hear people say, "I want to go out and find out who I am." I always knew who I was. I was going to be famous if it killed me.

I wouldn't buy one of my records to save my life.

Global warming does not affect my life at all. I'm going to walk right along and drink plenty of cool water.

Science and religion are both the same thing. They're there; they're life. If it's not science, it's not a fact.

I haven't been to church in thirteen years, but I'm better prepared for heaven than most of those that haven't missed a day.

Music is about one tenth of my day. Computers are about a quarter. Sleep -- another quarter. The other quarter is of no consequence.

I like computers. It's like being a mathematician that finally comes upon an adding machine.

Respect isn't enough. You've got to have a proprietary interest.

If the people in the audience are talking, you're being ignored. If the people are gazing at you, you've got something they want to hear.

I don't get nervous before I play. Oh, I did the first time -- wondering whether I was going to be good or not. But after about four or five songs it went away and never came back.

Play the songs they want to hear. That makes them feel they're getting what they came for.

Like I say, I'm Mr. Variety.

When you're writing a song, nouns and verbs will carry you right through.

I love poetry. I love rhyming. Do you know there are poets who don't rhyme? Shakespeare did not rhyme most of the time, and that's why I do not like him. Imagine: a man with that much...I'm looking for a word that begins with the letter f. Do you know it? I forget it. Well, Shakespeare had a lot of it, anyway. He had a lot of f. He had too much f not to rhyme.

You can say what you want, but for all these years, I've been robbing people. I've been having fun and they've been paying and it just don't seem right.

Finesse: That's the word I was looking for. Shakespeare had a lot of finesse.

If I wasn't a musician, I'd take up the law. They are the rottenest, wealthiest people in America.

Prejudice doesn't make me mad. It just -- I guess "pisses me off" is the word.

What do I like about women? Their gender.

First time I heard that word was from an English interviewer. He asked me something about gender. I had to ask him what he meant. Now I use the word all the time.

I stopped writing songs for seventeen years. Every so often I just stopped. Sometimes for hours. Sometimes for seventeen years.

I've written songs on everything. Menus. Napkins. Little pieces of paper. I started writing one song in 1952. I added some words last Monday. So I've been writing that song straight through for forty-eight years.

I eat meat daily. I'm not Jewish. I'm not Arabic. What's the kind of person that doesn't eat meat? That's right -- I'm not a vegetarian. I'm not a McCarthyite. What's that fella's name? Paul McCartney? That's right. I'm not him.

Women want what you've got. They want what they don't have.

Music is science. Everything is science. Because science is truth.

What do I think about today's music? I don't think about it. I listen to it. It's there whether I think about it or not.

 

[remy_lebeau8]

Legendary prick.

You can sort of sense it in a couple of his "What I've Learned" responses in Esquire, though many of them are great...

That he is...but I wouldnt wanna be his second guitar

 

[McKenna]

What, "pecker checker" was taken?

 

[KRCummings]

Legendary prick.

You can sort of sense it in a couple of his "What I've Learned" responses in Esquire, though many of them are great...

Wow. He's not only an asshole he's a fucking idiot.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Ya Chucks been like that for a while. I've heard hes a prick too. I would love to see B.B but last he was in Detroit they were askin 80 bucks a ticket. Fuckin casios

I had season tickets to a summer concert series a few years back, and at the end of the season they had a charity auction for a leather jacket autographed by every band that had appeared that summer "with the exception of Chuck Berry, who wanted us to pay him $100 for his autograph".