Burning Bridges

[Rambling Rose]

I've managed to eliminate a large handful of people from my day to day life recently, both online and off. I didn't leave them hanging and wondering. I took the time and effort to let them each know what I was doing and why. This is something new for me. I have always hated goodbyes, but in the case of a painful relationship, I have found it to be less so if I eliminate that person from my thoughts rather than let them fester there for long periods of time. It seemed healthier to just cut my losses and move on.

How do you handle a relationship that goes south? Do you just turn your back on it? Do you say your goodbyes? Or do you just wait and see indefinitely, hoping for a happier outcome?

 

[KillerMuffin]

A BB gun usually does the trick. Nothing says "I Don't Love You" like a shot in the ass.

 

[Ice Cold]

It depends on the person and nature of the relationship. If it was an important one, than I do it quickly and be done with it. If it was a casual one, it can die of malnutrition and neglect.

 

[Saint Peter]

Take me back. I will change. I promise I will.

 

[MissTaken]

Like you, RR,

I am learning to just cut my losses and in a very concrete fashion say, "Hey. This doesn't work for me."

There was a time when I tried to be friends or waited patiently for something to happen that just wasn't in the cards, but I can't do that anymore.

It just seems that there is too much in my life that needs attention to be putting time and energy into something that eventually is a "dead end."


And KM, if a BB gun is the end result, just don't love me to begin with !

 

[hiddenself]

But what if you do?

A BB gun usually does the trick. Nothing says "I Don't Love You" like a shot in the ass.

I thought that RR was referring to situations where you do still care... possibly a lot?

For me, things deteriorate little by little. I try to stick with it, endure. But there comes a time when all the cumulative hurt piles up and then I give up the effort and stop all communication. No, I don't say any goodbyes. Cause, deep down, I still hope that someday in the future (in another lifetime?) our paths will cross again. Who knows?

Memories are alive.

hs

 

[Nora]

Oh yeah. I burn my bridges. With gusto.

 

[HeavyStick]

A BB gun usually does the trick. Nothing says "I Don't Love You" like a shot in the ass.

Careful what you say and do.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Good for you RR. Dead wood. Cut it out.

I agree MissTaken. I have found I only have so much energy and I like to spend it where I want to.

Selfish? Probably, but this is it, the only life I've got. I am a good friend to those I have in my life. The others, I try to be polite.

 

[modest mouse]

All you can do is be honest and never feel as if you need to justify putting yourself first.

 

[SpiceCake]

Funny timing, this thread. I just did that tonight.

I guess I agrre with IceCold most of the time, -it can just wither and die. This time I felt the need to just tell them.

BTW, my ex-husband's last name is Bridges - does that apply to the thread!

 

[Shaq]

"I've tried and tried again, but now this is the end..tell me what's the use in going on if we can't be friends?" Carl Thomas

 

[Guru]

 

[Nora]

.

 

[Jim_Henson]

AHHH now I see.

Damnit

 

[Killswitch]

Burning bridges..who
Why the hell would I do that
Killswitch likes everyone.

Fuckin Jim and his Haikus got me haikuing all over the fucking place.....UGH!!!!!!

 

[fgarvb1]

Whew! Thank you GOD!

I thought a mob was after my nappy ass again!

No, putting people on the road in my realationships has never been a problem for me.

In person i explain myself very well.

 

[Jewelz]

I usually just let the bridges sink, wither away. In some cases, I have been known to try to put out the fire from bridges others tried to burn. I lost. Oh well.

 

[JerseyBoy]

works for me...

"I treat people as if they were telephones. If I meet somebody who I don't think likes me, I say to myself, 'Bob, this one's temporarily out of order'. You know. Don't break the connection. Just hang up and try again."

-- Bill Murray

 

[Lancecastor]

I like Napalm for a good final and complete bridge burning. It leaves no doubt as to your intentions as you toss away the can, turn your back and drop a match.

Lance

 

[Guest]

 

[The Heretic]

Here in the Great Pacific NorthWet, bridges sink or they fall apart:

But they don't burn - it is just too wet for anything to burn here.

 

[heavenly body]

I tend to just distance myself. Usually that works just fine. There is only one person I can think of that I never want back in my life so had todestroy his path to me. He was stalking me. In his case the use of napalm was necessary. Periodically I am required to burn off any new approaches.

 

[lobito]

I try not to burn bridges, I give people a chance to do it themselves.

Last year there was someone on the board that went bezerk (sp?) when someone sent me a message via a thread with my name in it. The bridge spontaniously combusted at that very moment.

R/L I try to please everyone, which in turn doesn't please everyone, mainly me. If bridges get burned, and it's by my doing, I try to talk to the person to find out what's gone wrong, and if it's worth salvaging.

what the fuck am I talking about?

 

[bknight2602]

I've managed to eliminate a large handful of people from my day to day life recently, both online and off. I didn't leave them hanging and wondering. I took the time and effort to let them each know what I was doing and why. This is something new for me. I have always hated goodbyes, but in the case of a painful relationship, I have found it to be less so if I eliminate that person from my thoughts rather than let them fester there for long periods of time. It seemed healthier to just cut my losses and move on.

How do you handle a relationship that goes south? Do you just turn your back on it? Do you say your goodbyes? Or do you just wait and see indefinitely, hoping for a happier outcome?

Burning bridges is extreme, but maybe that is what you needed to do in this situation. I don't usually burn bridges, that does come back to haunt you. I think it is just enough to say goodgye, and hope you life goes without inceident, although that may not happen.