BDSM: Questions and Answers
- Thread starter cymbidia
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cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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Now that i'm poised to begin a real "dating" odyssey, the first in more than 20 years, i can tell you this: most emphatically, i will not begin a relationship with a nilla partner, no matter what. I *will* look for one like me, like you, and i'll keep looking, if i have to, until i find a good fit.
Nilla partners: Been there. Done that. Not going back.
Period.
(~hugs~ MissT, and a ~s~ and a ~wink~)
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
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Are you ready for BDSM-friendly radio? It's the last link on the web page. Lots of good links and they all seem to work.
http://www.bdsm-virginia.com/links.html
http://www.bdsm-virginia.com/links.html
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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my mother and the safe call: an unfortunate intersection
Last Monday evening around dinnertime and quite on the spur of the moment, i decided to drive for an hour in one direction to meet a potential Dom who would drive for an hour from another direction so we could meet in person and talk awhile.
No touching.
Nothing sexual.
Just talk to see if our interests actually coincided, as they seemed to.
I got into my car and headed out of town. About 10 minutes into the drive i realized that i needed a safe call because i was going to meet with someone i really didn't know that well, had never met f2f before, and we were going to go get a coke and just talk - probably in a somewhat secluded area.
I dug out my phone and called Risia.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
FUCK! i screamed out loud in my car. Isn't she ever offline? (She and i have a system all worked out, btw, and i just didn't have her cell # with me, only her land line. I blew it, not her.)
I was a half hour from the meeting site.
I decided to call Rubyfruit, not a BDSM'er but a friend, and the only other Lit member whose number had programmed into my cell.
No answer.
No answer.
No answer.
Risia.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Ruby.
No answer.
No answer.
No answer.
Risia.
Busy.
Ruby.
No answer.
Risia.
Busy
Ruby.
No answer.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
15 minutes from the meeting place and i was late. I didn't think he would be. I detest being late; it stresses me out.
Risia.
Busy.
Ruby.
No answer.
10 minutes.
I called my mother.
I had to tell my mother (i came out to her about being a masosub last summer, if you'll recall, so at least it wasn't a total surprise to her) what i was doing and ask her to give me a call at 8:30, an hour into our meeting. She, having been invited into my life, wanted some details. Tomorrow, i promised her, as the lights of the town in which we were to meet came into view. Gotta go. Love you Mom. Thanks.
We met, this unknown but interesting Dom and i. Precisely at 8:30 my mother did the safe call. She grilled me, him listening to my side with amusement. Then she wanted to talk to him. I do *not* know what she said to him, and i didn't ask, but i finally said loudly, for her benefit, that it was time to say goodbye now.
Nothing will come of things between that Dom and me; we aren't well matched. However, i've now got every phone number from every Lit friend i have programmed into my cell phone. Yes, including both of Risia's numbers.
I'm not going to use my mother as a safe call again. It was... humiliating, and there's some stuff one doesn't really want to talk about with one's mother, you know? I told Risia it was all her fault i had to use my mother as a safe call, too, and she felt bad (for about three seconds).
The things one has to do to stay safe these days...
Last Monday evening around dinnertime and quite on the spur of the moment, i decided to drive for an hour in one direction to meet a potential Dom who would drive for an hour from another direction so we could meet in person and talk awhile.
No touching.
Nothing sexual.
Just talk to see if our interests actually coincided, as they seemed to.
I got into my car and headed out of town. About 10 minutes into the drive i realized that i needed a safe call because i was going to meet with someone i really didn't know that well, had never met f2f before, and we were going to go get a coke and just talk - probably in a somewhat secluded area.
I dug out my phone and called Risia.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
FUCK! i screamed out loud in my car. Isn't she ever offline? (She and i have a system all worked out, btw, and i just didn't have her cell # with me, only her land line. I blew it, not her.)
I was a half hour from the meeting site.
I decided to call Rubyfruit, not a BDSM'er but a friend, and the only other Lit member whose number had programmed into my cell.
No answer.
No answer.
No answer.
Risia.
Busy.
Busy.
Busy.
Ruby.
No answer.
No answer.
No answer.
Risia.
Busy.
Ruby.
No answer.
Risia.
Busy
Ruby.
No answer.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
15 minutes from the meeting place and i was late. I didn't think he would be. I detest being late; it stresses me out.
Risia.
Busy.
Ruby.
No answer.
10 minutes.
I called my mother.
I had to tell my mother (i came out to her about being a masosub last summer, if you'll recall, so at least it wasn't a total surprise to her) what i was doing and ask her to give me a call at 8:30, an hour into our meeting. She, having been invited into my life, wanted some details. Tomorrow, i promised her, as the lights of the town in which we were to meet came into view. Gotta go. Love you Mom. Thanks.
We met, this unknown but interesting Dom and i. Precisely at 8:30 my mother did the safe call. She grilled me, him listening to my side with amusement. Then she wanted to talk to him. I do *not* know what she said to him, and i didn't ask, but i finally said loudly, for her benefit, that it was time to say goodbye now.
Nothing will come of things between that Dom and me; we aren't well matched. However, i've now got every phone number from every Lit friend i have programmed into my cell phone. Yes, including both of Risia's numbers.
I'm not going to use my mother as a safe call again. It was... humiliating, and there's some stuff one doesn't really want to talk about with one's mother, you know? I told Risia it was all her fault i had to use my mother as a safe call, too, and she felt bad (for about three seconds).
The things one has to do to stay safe these days...
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
- Posts
- 20,077
Anyone ever used test tube holders as nipple clamps? I found a set on a web site for almost $30.
The test tube holders are cheap. I found a place where I can get 10 for $12. Since they are rather long, 6 inches or so, I think they'd look better with a heavier chain. Maybe something from Home Depot?
The test tube holders are cheap. I found a place where I can get 10 for $12. Since they are rather long, 6 inches or so, I think they'd look better with a heavier chain. Maybe something from Home Depot?
Last edited:
RisiaSkye
Artistic
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- May 1, 2000
- Posts
- 4,387
Re: my mother and the safe call: an unfortunate intersection
But you are *not* going to make me feel guilty. Nope, nope, nope. Especially not after I waded through the umpteen page survey on bondage.com--when I'm not even looking for anyone! That should count for something, I think.
Good to have you back, my beautiful and bent friend.
You see, darling, *this* is why you HAVE my cell number: I too have a mother. The whole thought makes me shudder to even contemplate it.cymbidia said:
Nothing will come of things between that Dom and me; we aren't well matched. However, i've now got every phone number from every Lit friend i have programmed into my cell phone. Yes, including both of Risia's numbers.
I'm not going to use my mother as a safe call again. It was... humiliating, and there's some stuff one doesn't really want to talk about with one's mother, you know? I told Risia it was all her fault i had to use my mother as a safe call, too, and she felt bad (for about three seconds).
The things one has to do to stay safe these days...
But you are *not* going to make me feel guilty. Nope, nope, nope. Especially not after I waded through the umpteen page survey on bondage.com--when I'm not even looking for anyone! That should count for something, I think.
Good to have you back, my beautiful and bent friend.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
Re: Re: my mother and the safe call: an unfortunate intersection
Explanation: when i get contacted from Dom/mes at bondage whom i think i might be interested in meeting, i send their nicks to Risia and she looks through ALL the info on them (and there can be a lot of info, too, over there) and then gives me her read on them. Risia has good sense and is extremely "sensitive" about people. And she's in my corner, too, no bones about it.RisiaSkye said:
SpectreT
Knight in Tarnished Armor
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- Mar 1, 2001
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Good to have you back, cym.....
It's been a busy week for The Beast, I've been wheeling and dealing all over this old town of mine. God, I need a life outside of my job and home.
I also need a friend or two that I can be "out" to, in regards to my sexuality. No way on God's Green Earth I'd be able to use my mother for a safe call. And not one of my friends has been able to show me the kind of openmindedness that would let me tell them I like wearing womens' clothes, being tied up , being spanked and whipped, or that I like doing these things to willing partners, or even that I'm thinking about getting a freaking tattoo. They're all good friends, for almost fifteen years, and I don't think I'd lose any of them over it; I'd just never live down the humiliation or the wisecracks from them.
A "munch?" in this town, the very idea's laughable. Syracuse is, as near as I can tell, dead to this sort of thing. But I could just be not looking hard enough or in the right places.
And cym, I know you didn't like me calling myself "The Beast", but I explained the genesis of the nom de guerre (and to the French Speakers, I did mean "War Name") in a PM, so I hope you don't mind me using it anymore.
Tom "The Beast"
It's been a busy week for The Beast, I've been wheeling and dealing all over this old town of mine. God, I need a life outside of my job and home.
I also need a friend or two that I can be "out" to, in regards to my sexuality. No way on God's Green Earth I'd be able to use my mother for a safe call. And not one of my friends has been able to show me the kind of openmindedness that would let me tell them I like wearing womens' clothes, being tied up , being spanked and whipped, or that I like doing these things to willing partners, or even that I'm thinking about getting a freaking tattoo. They're all good friends, for almost fifteen years, and I don't think I'd lose any of them over it; I'd just never live down the humiliation or the wisecracks from them.
A "munch?" in this town, the very idea's laughable. Syracuse is, as near as I can tell, dead to this sort of thing. But I could just be not looking hard enough or in the right places.
And cym, I know you didn't like me calling myself "The Beast", but I explained the genesis of the nom de guerre (and to the French Speakers, I did mean "War Name") in a PM, so I hope you don't mind me using it anymore.
Tom "The Beast"
seXieleXie
trouble
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- Nov 14, 2001
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- 8,509
WriterDom said:
test tube holders don't have a lot of "clamp" unless you are constantly squeezing them. maybe with a rubber band around them to hold them tight they would work, but just by themselves i can't see it happening.
though the thought is going to make chem lab a lot more interesting next semester
syracuse is dead to this sort of thing? damn damn double damn! i was planning to look into it when i went back to school. *pout* that sucks.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 20,570
SpectreT,
The only munches or pansexual groups I have found through internet search have been Rochester.
This may sound crazy, but I was thinking about the feasibility of starting a group in either the Watertown or surrounding areas for the north country.
There are more than just you and I kicking around in the Great American tundra! lol
The only munches or pansexual groups I have found through internet search have been Rochester.
This may sound crazy, but I was thinking about the feasibility of starting a group in either the Watertown or surrounding areas for the north country.
There are more than just you and I kicking around in the Great American tundra! lol
SpectreT
Knight in Tarnished Armor
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2001
- Posts
- 1,905
MissTaken said:
I'm laughing, myself, Miss T. More at the Great American Tundra line than anything else. Here in Sorry-cuse, as some of us disenchanted locals call the place, we still don't have a freakin' flake of snowfall accumulation. We're at less than one-third of our average snowfall for the year, in total. And if you want to see the true Great American Tundra, you'd have to leave the US of A. Canada, especially Northwestern Canada, can lay claim to some of the most beautiful frozen wasteland you'll ever see in wintertime. Rochester, Huh? Figures. Have I mentioned that for all my bitching, I love this town? It's Home, and no place else really is, or can be.
And, crazy or not, it's not a terrible idea to start a group. It's just going to be a huge pain in the ass, I'd think.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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- Jun 30, 2001
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LOL
Of course, the tundra isn't really here, but I am damn close to Canada and it gets very cold. (Usually....)
Oh, and I am used to pains in the ass, I was married to one for too many years.
Actually, I am also an organizer, coordinator and a high energy shaker. IF it can be done and IF there is interest, I think we should do it.
I realize the first concern would be confidentiality. As you know, whether in Sorry cuse or further north in Peyton Place, NY, this lifestyle is not only frowned upon, but could lead to all sorts of professional consequences among other things.
*whisper whisper whisper chatter chatter chatter *
For now, it is just a thought that continues to blossom as I run into more people, such as ourselves, on line and relatively local.
Of course, the tundra isn't really here, but I am damn close to Canada and it gets very cold. (Usually....)
Oh, and I am used to pains in the ass, I was married to one for too many years.
Actually, I am also an organizer, coordinator and a high energy shaker. IF it can be done and IF there is interest, I think we should do it.
I realize the first concern would be confidentiality. As you know, whether in Sorry cuse or further north in Peyton Place, NY, this lifestyle is not only frowned upon, but could lead to all sorts of professional consequences among other things.
*whisper whisper whisper chatter chatter chatter *
For now, it is just a thought that continues to blossom as I run into more people, such as ourselves, on line and relatively local.
KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
*sighs* The StudMuffin is eyeing me warily these days. I, too, went to bondage.com. I almost signed up, but didn't quite do it. I'm not BDSM and I'm not looking for anyone. I have these really horrible protective instincts, you know. I do feel much better now that Ris is there, but hey, I'm a rabid, snarling watchdog and well, I need to rabid, snarling watchdog sometimes to make myself feel better. However, to give the impression that I'm something I'm not just isn't in me either.
So far, you're safe cym. Another day passes, another day your mother rabid mutt is still pacing on the other side of the entrance page.
So far, you're safe cym. Another day passes, another day your mother rabid mutt is still pacing on the other side of the entrance page.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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Of course i'm safe, Muff, and doubly so with friends like you watching out for me. ~grinning big~ I'll send you the nicks of the possibles, anyway, and then we'll see if you can remain on the outside, pacing...
And babyhoneysweetiepie? This... this... this protective thing is why i can't use you as a safe call! You'd call the cops if i sounded the teensiest bit wrong on the phone. I'd NEVER get laid the way i want to get laid if you were my safe call.
Finally, and FYI, Risia said plainly in her write-up (called a Profile there) that she was monogamous with her husband and ***NOT*** looking for anyone at all - and she still gets little feelers sent her way. Imagine the challenge you would offer them, Muff.
And babyhoneysweetiepie? This... this... this protective thing is why i can't use you as a safe call! You'd call the cops if i sounded the teensiest bit wrong on the phone. I'd NEVER get laid the way i want to get laid if you were my safe call.
Finally, and FYI, Risia said plainly in her write-up (called a Profile there) that she was monogamous with her husband and ***NOT*** looking for anyone at all - and she still gets little feelers sent her way. Imagine the challenge you would offer them, Muff.
SweetBrat73
Literotica Guru
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What is a munch???
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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A term used for clubs/groups of BDSMer's. As they often gather to eat, the gatherings are called munches. They are generally informal and simply a manner by which one can make like minded friends. The munch groups I have been involved with don't condone using the munch time as a singles service. It is entirely social.
While my experience with them has been minimal, someone else may have more to offer on the topic.
Take care
Miss T
While my experience with them has been minimal, someone else may have more to offer on the topic.
Take care
Miss T
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
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seXieleXie said:
I don't think they'd have much pressure or you'd have exploding test tubes. Maybe I'll figure something out. Perhaps a sliding washer like the tweezer type clamps would work. Or maybe they can be bent in a way that makes them tighter.
I bet a mechanical engineer Dom has great toys
SpectreT
Knight in Tarnished Armor
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- Mar 1, 2001
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WriterDom said:
I don't think they'd have much pressure or you'd have exploding test tubes. Maybe I'll figure something out. Perhaps a sliding washer like the tweezer type clamps would work. Or maybe they can be bent in a way that makes them tighter.
I bet a mechanical engineer Dom has great toys
Or a (former) machinist and hobbyist woodworker who still has all his tools... like me.
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
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as usual my comments on this and that *s*
First cybmidia: Good to hear you are not going into hiding and retreat but find your way back among the "living". And even better to hear that you have the friends to support you in that journey back to yourself. As for the safe call story - god girl, I know it wasn't very funny at that time but I almost wet my panties reading it. I can SO imagine that! Please please KM - can you make a story of that phone call? Just the thought of a Dom (I may be dead wrong but I imagine an expereienced and somewhat sophisticated Dominant of middle age, maybe somwhere in his late 40's or so) to be talked to on the phone by a mom as if he was a teenager - just too hillarious! That sure has "humor" potential!
Just for a side note: Please everyone fiddling with online dating - make sure you have reliable safe calls! Specially when in the BDSM environment. The freaks aren't worse there, but for the inexpereinced it might be harder to reckognize them.
Writer Dom: as usual a good and inventive source of non-toy toys. And I admit - I actually like those test tube thingies. There are people not very receptive to "real" pain - and I was just thinking the effect those big "clamps" would be having on a novice (who didn't know they were not really tight) by looking at them, being threatened with them for punishment ... plus .. just becasue they are not very hard clamping I have a few thought of those going un something other than nipples *winks* you know - there are male subs too with nice body parts to dangle things from!
Spectre T - you tease ... now come on, you WANT to - I know !
tell us about the nifty things to be found and put to good use in your tool box! Don't only hint and leave us wondering!
First cybmidia: Good to hear you are not going into hiding and retreat but find your way back among the "living". And even better to hear that you have the friends to support you in that journey back to yourself. As for the safe call story - god girl, I know it wasn't very funny at that time but I almost wet my panties reading it. I can SO imagine that! Please please KM - can you make a story of that phone call? Just the thought of a Dom (I may be dead wrong but I imagine an expereienced and somewhat sophisticated Dominant of middle age, maybe somwhere in his late 40's or so) to be talked to on the phone by a mom as if he was a teenager - just too hillarious! That sure has "humor" potential!
Just for a side note: Please everyone fiddling with online dating - make sure you have reliable safe calls! Specially when in the BDSM environment. The freaks aren't worse there, but for the inexpereinced it might be harder to reckognize them.
Writer Dom: as usual a good and inventive source of non-toy toys. And I admit - I actually like those test tube thingies. There are people not very receptive to "real" pain - and I was just thinking the effect those big "clamps" would be having on a novice (who didn't know they were not really tight) by looking at them, being threatened with them for punishment ... plus .. just becasue they are not very hard clamping I have a few thought of those going un something other than nipples *winks* you know - there are male subs too with nice body parts to dangle things from!
Spectre T - you tease ... now come on, you WANT to - I know !
tell us about the nifty things to be found and put to good use in your tool box! Don't only hint and leave us wondering!
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
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Gags- Why do you like them?
I just made a simple bit gag. And like most things I make or buy, if possible, I like to try them out on myself first. I left it on for about a minute. Any longer and I'd be drooling like a hound dog on a hot day. Is the helplessness of having the use of your mouth taken away? Does it add to the overall submissiveness of a scene? Is there a humiliation factor? Does it give you something to bite on when the cane drops across your bottom? Help me out here.
I just made a simple bit gag. And like most things I make or buy, if possible, I like to try them out on myself first. I left it on for about a minute. Any longer and I'd be drooling like a hound dog on a hot day. Is the helplessness of having the use of your mouth taken away? Does it add to the overall submissiveness of a scene? Is there a humiliation factor? Does it give you something to bite on when the cane drops across your bottom? Help me out here.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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Ohhhh... gags!
I have an unreservedly, unashamedly love-hate relationship with gags.
I HATE them for these reasons:
1. I'm very often very loud when in the middle of things and unless one lives out on the Canadian Tundra, one can alarm the neighbors enough to get the police called. I certainly don't want that.
2. Since i'm often completely unable to contain my loudness, no matter what, i've gotten used to the idea that almost all my serious playing has to be done while i'm gagged.
3. Ball gags, more than any other kind of gag, freaks me out in a big way. I dislike them with something approaching scared loathing. I know they look really cool in the bondage pics, but *always* make me drool.
When i drool badly, i get self-conscious.
When i get self-conscious, i'm not into the scene.
When i'm not into the scene, i'm cheating my Dom/me and myself.
3a. Ring gags are a close second to ball gags, imo, with the added nasty habits of not containing the sounds AND making your mouth dry out. Both of them make me feel ugly.
4. Conversely (perversely?), i like bit gags because the drool factor is lessened and i can make noise. Since being able to make some noise is a huge plus for me, the bit gag is good while the ball gag is bad.
5. Cloth gags are also bad. Anytime anyone sticks a wad of cloth into your mouth and fastens it there (ever had tape ripped off your face when taking a gag off? OUCH!), your mouth is going to transfer all your saliva into that cloth and when it comes out, you won't be able to talk or formulate normal-sounding speech until fully rehydrated.
6. I prefer penis/insertable gags. You can bite down on them (handy for that sensation play), and you can often, unless they're huge and really inserted and tied off *firmly*, make some sounds around them, too. Oh yeh. Penis gags are the way to go. Lovely leather, most of them, somewhat soft and pliant under your teeth, against your tongue, that smell and taste, and they get warm...
Note: Playing gagged is a time when you won't be able to offer your stop word, if necessary, right? (Unless you're in a no-stop-word relationship, of course, and then it doesn't matter.) To be safe, then, you gotta always be sure that you and your Dominant have hand signals all ready in a gagged situation. (I've found the ubiquitous middle finger salute is unambiguous enough in that situation to serve the purpose.) And *you*, the sub, have to be sure you trust your Dominant will see the hand signal if you give it - no matter what else is going on - or you might want to reconsider the advisability of playing while gagged until that kinda trust is built.
I have an unreservedly, unashamedly love-hate relationship with gags.
I HATE them for these reasons:
1. I'm very often very loud when in the middle of things and unless one lives out on the Canadian Tundra, one can alarm the neighbors enough to get the police called. I certainly don't want that.
2. Since i'm often completely unable to contain my loudness, no matter what, i've gotten used to the idea that almost all my serious playing has to be done while i'm gagged.
3. Ball gags, more than any other kind of gag, freaks me out in a big way. I dislike them with something approaching scared loathing. I know they look really cool in the bondage pics, but *always* make me drool.
When i drool badly, i get self-conscious.
When i get self-conscious, i'm not into the scene.
When i'm not into the scene, i'm cheating my Dom/me and myself.
3a. Ring gags are a close second to ball gags, imo, with the added nasty habits of not containing the sounds AND making your mouth dry out. Both of them make me feel ugly.
4. Conversely (perversely?), i like bit gags because the drool factor is lessened and i can make noise. Since being able to make some noise is a huge plus for me, the bit gag is good while the ball gag is bad.
5. Cloth gags are also bad. Anytime anyone sticks a wad of cloth into your mouth and fastens it there (ever had tape ripped off your face when taking a gag off? OUCH!), your mouth is going to transfer all your saliva into that cloth and when it comes out, you won't be able to talk or formulate normal-sounding speech until fully rehydrated.
6. I prefer penis/insertable gags. You can bite down on them (handy for that sensation play), and you can often, unless they're huge and really inserted and tied off *firmly*, make some sounds around them, too. Oh yeh. Penis gags are the way to go. Lovely leather, most of them, somewhat soft and pliant under your teeth, against your tongue, that smell and taste, and they get warm...
Note: Playing gagged is a time when you won't be able to offer your stop word, if necessary, right? (Unless you're in a no-stop-word relationship, of course, and then it doesn't matter.) To be safe, then, you gotta always be sure that you and your Dominant have hand signals all ready in a gagged situation. (I've found the ubiquitous middle finger salute is unambiguous enough in that situation to serve the purpose.) And *you*, the sub, have to be sure you trust your Dominant will see the hand signal if you give it - no matter what else is going on - or you might want to reconsider the advisability of playing while gagged until that kinda trust is built.
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BlondGirl
Aim for the Bullseye ; )
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- Dec 27, 2000
- Posts
- 2,092
Cym's above stated descriptions are good. Of course, preference plays a bit part too. I have never used a bit gag, so I can't say one way or another about that. The ball gag is what I have played with and I enjoy it. Part is the humiliation factor. Part is the noise reduction. The major thing, I think, is the control. Willingly accepting a gag is giving up one's verbal communication, something I tend to overuse all too often. It allows me to give up a bit more of my "responsibility" and enables me to relax into my sexual role even more.
And I have never had a ball gag that made me drool excessively. Not sure why though. From what I understand, if drooling is the goal, a wiffle ballgag is perfect.
So, considering my current physical state, WD, you wanna come over and gag me and tease me and spank me and...
And I have never had a ball gag that made me drool excessively. Not sure why though. From what I understand, if drooling is the goal, a wiffle ballgag is perfect.
So, considering my current physical state, WD, you wanna come over and gag me and tease me and spank me and...
