BDSM leakage

[Miss_Adagio]

Normally I am extremely, extremely careful, and look normal enought not to encourage questions. The only time I came close is when my partner and I and some friends went out to dinner to a place called Switch lifestyle. I was like "ahhh ha ha ha! Switch! .....Oh.... Um... Never mind"

 

[Black_Bunny]

I have to keep things secret from my family, and am still deciding if my vanilla friends are open-minded enough to know or not. It's tough, because I usually like to tell people everything.

We do have fun with the secrecy of it though, the other night we were out with some friends in a pub, and since we were joking and being silly, one of the guys said to my Dominant "control your woman!" He said "ok, then", bent me over his knee and spanked me. Course it wasn't enough to let people know what's going on, but add to that later in the night him mentioning handcuffs and a whip... and I thought I was the one who couldn't keep quiet!

 

[where]

I live in a pretty straight laced community (if you ignore the rampant drug taking and wife-swapping). I got a bit (ok a lot) drunk on saturday night and apparently I offered to take someone over my knee and spank them.

I've decided that me and alcohol are a really bad idea.

I also leak a bit when I'm talking about my jewellery because by it's nature it's BDSM stuff. So far my mum just thinks it's romantic, and I had a couple of raised eyebrows about the collars in work, though they do know I have an 'interest' in things bdsm because we had a discussion one time about domestic violence and my theory that women who are attracted to those kinds of relationships might be safer, mentally and physically, in a formalised bdsm relationship where the dominant partner has some understanding and isn't just a wanker with a fast temper and low self esteem.

I still need to not drink in public places though.

 

[KoPilot]

I have to keep things secret from my family, and am still deciding if my vanilla friends are open-minded enough to know or not.

That one's actually particularly tough for me. A few years ago we had a friend who decided that BDSM was the way for her, and ended up bombarding our lives with it. She would use all of her friends' computers to browse fetlife and collarme, and make us look at personals with her and such whenever she would visit one of us. I didn't think that it was terribly annoying until she found herself a "Master" and began incessantly sharing her exploits with us in graphic detail, and bragging about her new relationship at every opportunity when she knew we really didn't want to hear about it. We all met her partner when she brought him to a Christmas party one year though, and he seemed very insecure; not at all a dominant personality.

Anyways, she ended up moving across the country and marrying him, and eventually stopped talking to us. I'm sure that my best friend and her boyfriend have a bad taste in their mouth from that, so if I outed myself to her, she'll probably go "Oh god, you too?" and dismiss some of the credibility of my relationship, and I just don't have the time to explain to her what it all is and why it's not stupid.

 

[sb2009]

I had a minor surgical procedure a couple of weeks ago and had the dozy sleepy stuff that makes people (me) run thier mouths. As soon as I was talking I asked how soon I could hav sex, "the rough kind of sex" and the medicals staff said I was "cute."

Cute. Great. I want to be fucking so sexy i get dragged over a lap or two and beaten red. Not cute.

 

[Homburg]

do you ever find yourself inappropriately verbally 'leaking' your kink?

say when you have had too much wine or something?

Leakage?

Do more kegels.

 

[kitten_candy]

I have to keep things secret from my family, and am still deciding if my vanilla friends are open-minded enough to know or not. It's tough, because I usually like to tell people everything.

i don't understand this need to tell.

i have no desire to hear about my vanilla friends sex lives or the control dynamic between my parents...

at times, it has been challenging to find honest ways to introduce new friends or tell people where i'm going.

ultimately, though, the fact i want to be pissed on doesn't need to be shared.

 

[Netzach]

i don't understand this need to tell.

i have no desire to hear about my vanilla friends sex lives or the control dynamic between my parents...

at times, it has been challenging to find honest ways to introduce new friends or tell people where i'm going.

ultimately, though, the fact i want to be pissed on doesn't need to be shared.

I don't either, but the overshare seems to be the in thing now among vanilla folks.

 

[infinity706]

I accidentally say all manner of weird things, but I'm well known as the "sweet looking girl that says totally inappropriate and shocking things on a regular basis" so my friends just ignore it as "well, that's just Megan."

Yeah, that's exactly how people would describe me, too, other than the being a girl part. (of course, online, everyone assumes I'm female unless otherwise stated) Of course, no one's ever been that surprised about me being bi, kinky, or polyamorous. It's just how far I take it that raises a few eyebrows.

 

[graceanne]

My sister and my best friend know I enjoy kinky sex, mostly cause my best friends daughter and mine found our shackles and locked themselves in them (the keys were not in the house that the shackles were in). My other sister knows I'm kinky, cause I realized she is, and invited her to leatherfest (I ended up not being able to go). My niece (age 18) overheard me say to K "If i'm really good can i get a spanking?". Really grossed her out and made me laugh really hard.

Otherwise sometimes it's a blurt kind of thing. I was in my best friends bar, a drunk customer jokingly threatened to spank her (she was being a smart ass), she said 'ew' and I said 'dude. don't knock it 'til you try it'. The drunk thought that was way funnier than it actually was. Things like that.

yep, I've only been in my current job a month, and have already had to deal wth awkwardness when my colleagues tell me I should should 'demand' or 'deny' him sex, depending on the situation. Oh, and why I do all the housework...

Been there, done that.

deny sex?!?!?

I do not understand this concept.

Me, either. Don't get me started. lol

Psh who needs the booze? I don't mind telling people, I just have to watch WHO I tell lol.

Pretty much. I haven't oopsed to my mom, for instance.

Recently, I was in the process of answering these normally innocent questions and made the comment, "no, I'm not married. I guess that might be because of my sexual quirks." I meant it to be taken as a joke. The other guy laughed and came back with "not all women enjoy being beaten". I should have laughed and left it at that but I then said, "yes, but some do."

What was his reaction?

 

[KellysCrack]

I don't think that I would have to leak out much...most of my friends and a few co-workers know that I am a sex fiend! To the extent that one of them indicated I would do go with my own store or at minimum I should be selling those passion party items.... They just don't know the full extent of my depravity...

 

[where]

Leakage?

Do more kegels.

ha! funny!

I don't think that I would have to leak out much...most of my friends and a few co-workers know that I am a sex fiend! To the extent that one of them indicated I would do go with my own store or at minimum I should be selling those passion party items.... They just don't know the full extent of my depravity...

I think most people are aware that I'm fairly sexual, though they usually think I'm some kind of whip-wielding dominatrix which amuses me. I have just never really been completely open about my kink with anyone, though of course the husband is fairly aware.

Because I live in a pretty isolated place and seldom socialise, I suppose it just bubbles over sometimes.

 

[Master_plus_1]

We're fairly good about avoiding slips like that, but we also don't have to hide it from too many people.

Most of our friends have been room-mates at one time or another with either her or me, or they've been couch-people at our place, so they've inevitably found out (also we have cool open minded friends). Her sister knows (though probably not quite the whole extent of our lifestyle) because she's over often and is one of those very nosy people who will go through your stuff if given half a chance. My mother (who is the only other relative we ever see in person) knows because when I lived in the same town she had the bad habit of showing up unannounced at my place. On top of that, I work from home for a company across the contient, and she doesn't work at all (and no school either), so overall very very low chance to interact with people we need to hide our `activities` from.

 

[DVS]

My sister and my best friend know I enjoy kinky sex, mostly cause my best friends daughter and mine found our shackles and locked themselves in them (the keys were not in the house that the shackles were in). My other sister knows I'm kinky, cause I realized she is, and invited her to leatherfest (I ended up not being able to go). My niece (age 18) overheard me say to K "If i'm really good can i get a spanking?". Really grossed her out and made me laugh really hard.

Otherwise sometimes it's a blurt kind of thing. I was in my best friends bar, a drunk customer jokingly threatened to spank her (she was being a smart ass), she said 'ew' and I said 'dude. don't knock it 'til you try it'. The drunk thought that was way funnier than it actually was. Things like that.



Been there, done that.



Me, either. Don't get me started. lol



Pretty much. I haven't oopsed to my mom, for instance.



What was his reaction?

Well, all I know is what I saw. He laughed, like we were just joking with each other. But, why did he say what he said in the first place? Why did he say not all women enjoy being beaten? Is he and his wife into this?

I don't know any of my coworkers well enough to really know what his reaction was. All I know is he laughed, I laughed and we went on to another subject.

This particular guy is an ex Marine, just came back from Iraq a few years ago and just got married less than a year ago. So he's still very active with his wife, sexually and hints that she's fire in bed. But, he's more of the typical man than I am, so all I really hear about her is she has HUGE tits and really...REALLY enjoys sucking his cock. LOL.

Now, does she have those HUGE tits tied up when she sucks his cock? Because of our job we use handcuffs. Does he know how to use them on his wife? These things, I don't know.

 

[where]

Well, all I know is what I saw. He laughed, like we were just joking with each other. But, why did he say what he said in the first place? Why did he say not all women enjoy being beaten? Is he and his wife into this?

I don't know any of my coworkers well enough to really know what his reaction was. All I know is he laughed, I laughed and we went on to another subject.

This particular guy is an ex Marine, just came back from Iraq a few years ago and just got married less than a year ago. So he's still very active with his wife, sexually and hints that she's fire in bed. But, he's more of the typical man than I am, so all I really hear about her is she has HUGE tits and really...REALLY enjoys sucking his cock. LOL.

Now, does she have those HUGE tits tied up when she sucks his cock? Because of our job we use handcuffs. Does he know how to use them on his wife? These things, I don't know.

handcuffs + uniform fetish = wet knickers

 

[TypicalDeviant]

I've generally been able to figure out my friends' kinks before admitting mine. You know, I'll make a smart-ass comment about being tied up or spanking and read their response. I got one friend's gf to out their kinky sex life by replying to a statement with something along the lines of "oh yeah, just how you like it in the ass?" to which she replied, aghast "you TOLD him?"

"Nope, but you just did."

It actually ended up being a good thing I did that as he does (great) leatherwork and has made me a pair of VERY nice cuffs.

Other than that, I generally keep it low key, especially at work. A lot of my coworkers seem pretty square, though generally I do my best to come off the same way. Inevitably, someone will make some inane comment about a "deviant" sexual practice/lifestyle and I'll bite my tongue to avoid going on a rant about how wrong they are.

My one big oops was while talking with a client about their accounts receivable, I had a follow up question about the amount due from Snap-On, the tool company. Of course, I asked him about the "strap-on" account. He didn't notice and I quickly corrected, but the my coworker and I burst out laughing once he left the room.

 

[culloden]

I don't discuss our sex life with anyone else except in the most general terms, so in short, no. That said, I wouldn't hesitate to make a joke such as TD's Snap-On/Strap-on switch. Or we might joke about getting out the whip, or say something like, "I'll deal with you later." Most of our friends would get the joke, but I doubt they jump to any broad conclusions.

I was proud though, I have to admit, when I had to go into my son's glove compartment to get his registration and found a set of padded handcuffs. Guess maybe there's been some leakage.

 

[DiscusDave]

I have slowly started to le things slide a bit more as time has passed. Especially during my "Human Sexuality Class" my last year of college. However, there have been some road bumps.

One bump being my super vanilla friend. I say super vanilla because he thinks kinky people are "fucked up in the head" -a direct quote from him. Oddly enough he is the most open about his sex life out of my group of friends. Take for instance the other night... he called my buddy who I was driving to a bar with, and said he couldn't make it to the bar with us because he had to go have sex with his girlfriend in the shower. And then went on to describe the reasons he had to go do it there and the actual positions he was hoping to use. Same guy said it was a bit messed up and weird that I tried tying up a past girlfriend of mine. But tell him a good story about very "standard" sex and he'll listen intently.

The other bump actually came from the aforementioned Human Sexuality course. We were told to be open as much as we wanted to in the class since every student was supposed to keep what was said during class confidential. Well it wasn't the case. During a discussion about anal sex, I told a story about how I was scolded by a group of 3 girls at a party for admitting (during the drinking game "Never Have I Ever") that I had anal sex with a girl. The girls berated me verbally for about 45 minutes until the party ended and I left. So I tell that story in Human Sexuality Class. Some girls in the class then went on to misunderstand my story and tell bunch of my fraternity brothers that it was me who actually took it up the ass. So the people on campus who were 1) told to keep the things said in class confidential; 2) are supposed to be the most sexually open and open-minded, were the ones spreading rumors about me across campus.

I guess that's what I get for trying to ease out my interests....

 

[Soumis]

Generally, I don't "leak." There's a fair amount of stressful contemplation on my part before I tell someone (someone vanilla) about what I consider a very intimate part of myself.

That being said, if someone else brings up spanking, beating, etc, I may make a comment or two that could be interpreted favorably.

 

[graceanne]

Now, does she have those HUGE tits tied up when she sucks his cock? Because of our job we use handcuffs. Does he know how to use them on his wife? These things, I don't know.

Ah, but you think about them . . . . pervert.

 

[Black_Bunny]

i don't understand this need to tell.

i have no desire to hear about my vanilla friends sex lives or the control dynamic between my parents...

ultimately, though, the fact i want to be pissed on doesn't need to be shared.

Although I do enjoy sharing juicy details with a select few girlfriends (as I did before I knew about BDSM), I'm talking about the non-sexual aspects... clothing, time spent completing tasks, inability to sit comfortably... etc

 

[DVS]

Ah, but you think about them . . . . pervert.

Nah, don't think about people I work with, or their wives. And big tits are not my thing. The woman could be flat chested, for all I care. Nice tight asses are my thing. Duh?

Coworkers and their sex isn't my thing. Now, a female coworker that's single (with a tight ass), that's a totally different thing. I've had my share of sex with single female coworkers...the friends with benefits type of thing. Oh, I have stories I could tell about that.

 

[graceanne]

Nah, don't think about people I work with, or their wives. And big tits are not my thing. The woman could be flat chested, for all I care. Nice tight asses are my thing. Duh?

Picky, picky.

 

[DVS]

Picky, picky.

No, pervy, pervy.

 

[DVS]

handcuffs + uniform fetish = wet knickers

If they're wet, just take them off. I'll help.