Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Want to make a girl fall in love with you? Before having sex, put drugs on your dick so she only associates good feelings with you. Hell, put it all over you so all your interactions are positive.

 

[Jada59]

Become a flasher. Women love it!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Call the officer "daddy" so they leave you alone quicker.

 

[Jada59]

Test your immune system by inviting people to cough and sneeze on you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

For women driving on bumpy roads: simply place a bottle between your legs and sit on it, and enjoy the ride

 

[Jada59]

Erection difficulty? Try dipping your cock in ice.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always carry a dog bag filled with mash potatoes or other such substance around with you when walking your dog. People will think you’re a responsible dog owner and you won’t have to worry about cleaning up after it.

 

[Jada59]

Go to Lowe's or Home Dept, strip off your clothes, then recline in the bathtubs, one by one. It's the only way to test them out!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need extra cash? Offer a service to blind people where you supervise them taking a shit, and you let them know if they need to wipe again.

 

[Taegul]

Need extra cash? Offer a service to blind people where you supervise them taking a shit, and you let them know if they need to wipe again.

I thought that's what seeing eye dogs were for

 

[Jada59]

Squeeze all the loaves of bread at the store to make sure they're fresh.

 

[mnbreastluver]

I thought that's what seeing eye dogs were for

The shit seeing eye dogs have to do.

To avoid becoming someone's bitch in prison always carry a sharpened carrot.

 

[Jada59]

Send an inappropriate message to the person above you. They'll love it!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Spending too much on bath and shower products? Try having depression - you won’t want to shower at all and will save loads on shampoo!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Eat all your eggs raw! The acid in your stomach will cook them AND kill the bacteria!

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Squeeze all the loaves of bread at the store to make sure they're fresh.

I do!

Want to make friends with an outlaw biker? Quietly approach him from behind, slap him hard on the back making sure to hit his patch & say Hey Bro!

Want to score some extra points? Tell him, don't ask, tell him you're going to fuck his old lady.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Can't catch Chlamydia twice!

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Eat all your eggs raw! The acid in your stomach will cook them AND kill the bacteria!

Worked ok for Rocky. (bleahhh)

Can't catch Chlamydia twice!

But aren't there different strains? If you catch one you can still catch another?

 

[Lord Pmann]

But aren't there different strains? If you catch one you can still catch another?

I don't really know. I am not an expert on Chlamydia. I'm sure UgliestSon could make his way here and educate us.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

I don't really know. I am not an expert on Chlamydia. I'm sure UgliestSon could make his way here and educate us.

That should prove interesting.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Trying to attract a mate? Cover your bed in a light layer of quarters; they'll stick to you while you sleep, allowing you to easily display your wealth to any interested parties.

 

[PNWKitten]

Put all your eggs in one basket

 

[mnbreastluver]

Doing doggy style but still want eye contact? FaceTime your partner!

 

[Jada59]

Serve your guests a combination of pickles and peanut butter cups for a new taste sensation.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When watching porn on your phone use your erection as a stand