Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

The men's room at the venue too crowded? Simply ask loudly and impatiently "How long is the damn wait for the Glory Hole?" Also lean over someone's shoulder at the urinal and say "Nice dick." You will clear out space and someone will leave with a wonderful complement.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want alcohol while you’re driving? Just drink at stoplights, since then you won’t be drinking and driving!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Next time you have diarrhea take a couple of pictures from diferent angles. When you want to miss some plans you just send the pleople a picture of the diarrhea. Since you have some more photos you can even miss more plans.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want free stuff, go through the check out with your hair shaved off with a bandana like a cancer patient using a deactivated credit card. When it gets declined you can play on the cashiers heart strings to buy it for you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of the beeping from your carbon monoxide detector making you fell dizzy and sick? just unplug it.

 

[Jada59]

Too many miles on your car? Drive it backwards.

 

[Cuppers]

kldsajlak

fdadkaueo

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you ever end up sharing a bed with another man grab his dick tightly, that way you can be sure its not somewhere else.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When you see in store a food that says + 30% free just eat the free part and return it to shelf.......

 

[mnbreastluver]

Guard yourself against sexual harassment complaints and always keep a banana in your pocket.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your pet is bored, don't buy any toys, instead add some of their natural predators(or any predator) to add some excitement to their lives.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When farting in bed, make sure to pull the covers over your partner’s head so that he/she breathes it all in. This will prevent further destructive methane emissions from harming the planet. Think green!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your small pets like hamsters or guinea pigs bite and you're too afraid to give them a bath, tie some string around their waist and flush them in the toilet.

 

[Taegul]

If you can't scratch your brain when your picking your nose, you're not trying hard enough.

 

[mnbreastluver]

In a rush? Call 911 and describe frantically that your gas pedal is stuck. Be sure to describe your location to the dispatchers so that other patrol officers know of the situation. Go as fast as you want, then once you near your destination let them know the issue fixed itself.

 

[Miles Long]

Gas station sushi is the foundation of any successful diet plan.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Raise an ISIS flag in your front yard. The Police and the CIA will be watching your house 24 hours a day for free! No need for private security

 

[TheMrBurns]

Food tasting bland? Use a safety razor to shave off your old taste buds, in two days your new taste buds will grow and food will taste so much better.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Hate going everytime to the toilet? Shove a pringles can up your anus so your shit would be stored in there and when it fills just replace it, it's like a diaper without an actual diaper.

 

[alwaysaway]

The best, most tastiest gum is found under random railings and public benches.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you see a large woman and want to know whether she’s pregnant or not without coming across as inconsiderate, slap her belly. Pregnant women tend to scream out “My baby!” if they have one.

 

[Esslemont]

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Steal your friends checks, deposit them in your own account and get free (mandatory) government accommodations.

 

[dashie33]

Not sure about their age? Ask them what their favourite Fortnite dance is.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can't identify a song that's stuck in your head? Just release the song under your own name and see who sues you for plagiarism!