Bad Random Life Tips.

[Deleted member 3041612]

Texting and walking is not so bad....unless you're walking into traffic.

 

[mnbreastluver]

You should always have a dildo with you so when u meet someone rude u can throw it at them and call them a dick at the same time

 

[AllAmericanMale]

Don't drive, walk. You've got a better chance of getting there if you lower your risk of mechanical failure...

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you see a hot girl nearby instead of looking directly at her boobs look at the closest reflective surface so she won't know you're a creep.

 

[AlpineFresco]

Boil your kettle with only a few drops of water in it. Helps season it.

 

[AveryElle]

Measure once, cut a whole bunch

 

[Apisto42]

Tell your boss exactly what you think of him.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save money on condoms by using sandwich bags or grocery bags instead.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Keep your wigs/toupees on using duct tape. No need for a chin strap during strong winds or on amusement park rides.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of wasting money on black nail polish? Smash your fingers in doors to get long lasting black nails.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Blow torches work great on getting rid of spiders in the house.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to get tested for STDs but you do not have health insurance, and you can not afford testing? Donate blood, they will alert you if you are positive with anything.

 

[Polranny]

Crossing the road in the UK - look left, look right and left again.

 

[DarkSimian]

Not sure what it is? Lick it. Taste is always your best bet to determine what it is

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are feeling sad, just pour some yellow paint on the floor and roll around. Its a fun activity and you are no longer blue.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Go ahead & pet the big pretty kittys behind the high iron bars at the zoo. They love affection.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of that special someone by passing gas? Try super gluing your asshole shut!

 

[DeckardNYC]

Fat drunk and stupid is a valid life goal

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you don’t want to go to work, tell your boss you have amnesia, and you forgot where you work.

 

[Frankjba1]

Looking for a real jolt in life? Pee on an electric fence.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Share your porn history on a first date, your date will respect your honesty and know exactly how to please you.

 

[DarkSimian]

Don't want the neighbors knowing you buy porn? Have it sent to your neighbors, and just steal it from their mailbox

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don't use bitter butter. It will make your batter bitter.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Avoid awkward silences on first dates by bringing an air horn.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get Salmonella once to become immune from it, allowing you to eat raw meat whenever you want.