aging parents/terminally ill

[perks]

Do you ever miss the person they were? I'm having a hard time coping tonight.

I feel selfish, because I know it's not about me. Sometimes I just want that comfort.

Not the trite, I'm sorry, you know whatever I can do. Just someone who understands. Someone who can be miserable with me, and not explain it away and not be a psychotic fixer.

I feel like I'm mourning too soon. It's just so hard to deal with sometimes, ya know?

 

[christophe]

mourning takes on many elements...its ok to feel that way

 

[glamorilla]

sometimes.

sometimes when i think i don't have my parents anymore it totally overwhelms me even tho we really weren't all that close.

sometimes i have simple dreams of just sitting doiwn to eating my moms cooking.

growing up sucks.

 

[perks]

sometimes i have simple dreams of just sitting doiwn to eating my moms cooking.

yeah, it's the stuff like that, that gets to me. When there are moments and glimpses of normalcy, and then just this sad reality.

 

[glamorilla]

hugs baby~i'm there myself.

 

[seXieleXie]

my grandfather had alzheimers. for the last 6 months before he died, he didn't know who i was. he thought i was his wife (she died before i was born, but people say i look like her).

he wasn't a parent, but seeing a man who was once so powerful and commanding (to me anyway) slowly become a man who couldn't feed himself... it hurts. it's scary and infuriating at the same time. i remember feeling so utterly powerless through it all.

mourning is a selfish process. there is no right or wrong time to begin or end. there is no set way to go about it. the pain losing someone who you care about does not always wait for death. the reality is that you are losing that person bit by bit. you can't be expected to ignore that.

 

[LukkyKnight]

sometimes i have simple dreams of just sitting doiwn to eating my moms cooking.

growing up sucks.

This is precisely why it's such a crime to steal a childhood. Good parenting gives you those memories to get you through the tougher things lurking in your adulthood.

 

[freakygirl]

Somedays I miss my mom so much that I can't even stand to be in the same house with the woman that has replaced her..

Your feelings are normal Perky

 

[HeavyStick]

My family has gone through this. We felt like we betrayed years of love and trust. Our grandmother was terminal and needed 24/7 care. We can never erase the medical procedures and visual images of her helplessness. We learned to focus on all the good things. It eased the suffering we witnessed her go through.

 

[lavender]

Perky,

I'm dealing with this right now. It's so bizarre to see the shell of a person and only see remnants of who they used to be. It can happen so suddenly. I remember recently that my mother instructed me to tell a friend more about who this family member used to be and that they just aren't like that anymore, before they would meet. It was kind of a beforehand apology and explanation. She just didn't want my friend to see what is today and not be able to appreciate what was.

It's like your worlds shift, they change and you assume roles they used to have.

 

[TheDR4KE]

Darling perky

Come sit with me and we'll get out an old movie, eat junk food and drink red wine until it's late. Then we'll just talk about the little things, the stuff that comes up when you relax, and we'll sit and think and snuggle ...

Love,

your Drake

 

[perks]

dude, I so wish I lived in your world.

 

[kotori]

Do not go gentle into that good night

by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lighting they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

*big hugs, Perky*

My Great Aunt has alzheimers. I remember who she was. I mourn for who she is.

I understand, to some degree. It's a mourning because the person that they once were is now gone.


If you need me, you know where to find me, and in the meantime, more hugs for you.