A subbie's blackboard lesson

[graceanne]

Don't forget the pics of the results of your 'trouble'

LOL I might be having waaaaay too much fun to get pics. I'm as likely to get in trouble for giggling than anything else.

 

[shy slave]

LOL I might be having waaaaay too much fun to get pics. I'm as likely to get in trouble for giggling than anything else.

Geez you ask me for pics of every time I may do something wrong, yet your not gonna do the same.

Course its lucky that any wrongdoing is only in my head, I am perfect.

I never get the crop over my ass in the open air or anything.

Nope.

No.

Never.

Gracie I rely on naughty subs like you to do all those bad things, and I also want to see the pics.

How else am I gonna learn what punishment looks like ??

 

[h_i_s]

Master's dog does not stink

err, umm, yeah ...even if the dog DID stink, whole lot of good it would do to say so .. i AM the one who baths the dog.

 

[graceanne]

Geez you ask me for pics of every time I may do something wrong, yet your not gonna do the same.

Course its lucky that any wrongdoing is only in my head, I am perfect.

I never get the crop over my ass in the open air or anything.

Nope.

No.

Never.

Gracie I rely on naughty subs like you to do all those bad things, and I also want to see the pics.

How else am I gonna learn what punishment looks like ??

I swear to God, one more fib and I'm gonna email Adante and tell on you! You fibber, you. I'll even link him to your fibs!

 

[shy slave]

I swear to God, one more fib and I'm gonna email Adante and tell on you! You fibber, you. I'll even link him to your fibs!

But I thought you loved me

You do, don't you Gracie

Please say you do,

Please

Please

Please

Please

Gracie!!!!

Don't do it, you will hate yourself in the morning.

You will, really you will

Gracie......

 

[Boratus]

The list made me giggle but I lost it with:

there is no such thing as "slave immunity"

Just the image of a sub with that necklace around her neck and a sheepish grin, hoping I'd buy it!

 

[graceanne]

But I thought you loved me

You do, don't you Gracie

Please say you do,

Please

Please

Please

Please

Gracie!!!!

Don't do it, you will hate yourself in the morning.

You will, really you will

Gracie......

I will? Or you will? muhahaha Don't mess with the Gracie-Monster muhahaha

 

[marieR19]

LOL wow, I love this thread! So funny! Thankfully I haven't done any of those things, and now I'll remember not to.... Although some of them I kinda want to just 'cause they're so funny!
Putting in my two cents: I will not purposely get Mistress really horny and then say "No, I'm not really in the mood" when she finally pounces. (And yes, this is one of my biggest faults).


Heather

 

[SweetDommes]

I have such a wonderful picture of this in my mind, I am still grinning.

I almost wish I had an opportunity to find out just how wrong it would be!

it's good that you put that "almost" in there ... he was in big trouble

 

[shadowboxerbaby]

Funny Yet Dated Thread!

This is an old thread, but entertaining nonetheless



7

I noticed quite a few subbies over in "Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom" who looked like they needed a reminder to be respectful, so I thought I would offer this list of rules......
Ya'll feel free to add any you can think of


A subbie's blackboard lessons
( a la Bart Simpson)

i will not carve the flogger handles

i will not spank others

i will not aim for Master's head

i will not yell safeword in the grocery store

i will not sell the names on my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer

i will not read and giggle at Master's logs from the Dom Forum

i will not yell fire everytime Master lights a candle

funny noises are not funny

i will not slap Master with my bra

Punishment is not boring or pointless

i will not call Master Dr. Death

i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society

i will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Master's D/s party

i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe Dom hunting

i will not bring sheep to the subbie forum

a burp is not an appropriate response to Master

i will not eat all Master's m & m's while he is at work

i will not yell she's tied up at the subbie forum

Master's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet

i will not call Master spud head, butt head, or any kind of head

Masters ARE perfect

Mud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Master

i will NOT wear panties

i will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Master's D/s parties

i will not peek out of the blindfold

there is no such thing as "slave immunity"

i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don't have permission

i did not win an emmy for my last session

i will not hide all Master's toys

all play and no work does not a good slave make

i will not say "oh Master you're the bestest and biggest" just to get a spanking

i can not fire Master

my last assignment was not stolen by one armed net hackers

i will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips

i will not perform breast implant surgery on the newbies

i will refrain from saying "Hail Satan!" when i don't like Master's orders

i will not remind Master daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr. anniversary

i will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all Master's clamps

i will not use Master's bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pool

i will not wear Master's underwear on my head

Master's dog does not stink

i will not torment the newbies with the violet wand

....and last but not least

i will not use the pages from Master's Dom Handbook to start the grill...

 

[graceanne]

ROFLMAO I'd forgotten about this thread! LOL

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I agree graceanne but I have some difficulty with all those nots.

:-*

ROFLMAO I'd forgotten about this thread! LOL

 

[EmpressFi]

So many come to mind....

I will not tell Master to "Shush".

When Master says, "Listen here, missy..." I will not say "But my name isnt Missy" and remember that my name is whatever Master gives me

 

[graceanne]

I agree graceanne but I have some difficulty with all those nots.

:-*

I'm sorry but their's some great ideas on this thread.

 

[graceanne]

So here's what I've done recently.

i will not spank others (Got K with the spatula the other day - he chased me around the table a couple of times and got me back)

i will not aim for Master's head (aim what?)

i will not yell fire everytime Master lights a candle (I haven't done this, but occasionally, just for fun, I'll scream CHEETAH! LOL Then I die laughing when K falls out of his chair hehe)

funny noises are not funny (They so are - especially during sex)

i will not call Master Dr. Death (I call him a nazi sometimes)

i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe Dom hunting (Why not?)

a burp is not an appropriate response to Master ( plead the fifth)

i will not eat all Master's m & m's while he is at work (switch the m&m's with snickers and . . . I surely don't know where they went - the kids must have ate 'em.)

i will not peek out of the blindfold (hey you're only in trouble if you get caught)

i can not fire Master (I tried to fire K the other day and he laughed at me. *sigh*)

i will refrain from saying "Hail Satan!" when i don't like Master's orders (see the nazi comment)


Sammy? Me?

 

[museofdragon]

The two most painful lessons i have learned in 16 years

"Sadistic rat bastard, Sir!" is NOT a safeword.

Whistling the theme from Jeopardy while Master is choosing which flogger to use on me is never a good idea.

 

[graceanne]

The two most painful lessons i have learned in 16 years

"Sadistic rat bastard, Sir!" is NOT a safeword.

Whistling the theme from Jeopardy while Master is choosing which flogger to use on me is never a good idea.

ROFLMAO

I'm gonna have to try those.

 

[wenchhh]

dont forget, "bring it" is not the correct answer when Sir is taking his belt off.... (Evil grin)

These were all hilarious. I think I'm gonna pirate em and put em on the subbie thread!

 

[neonflux]

Oh Goddess, I think that I have just fallen in love! You don't ever play with grrls, do you? (Be still my !)

So here's what I've done recently.

i will not spank others (Got K with the spatula the other day - he chased me around the table a couple of times and got me back)

i will not aim for Master's head (aim what?)

i will not yell fire everytime Master lights a candle (I haven't done this, but occasionally, just for fun, I'll scream CHEETAH! LOL Then I die laughing when K falls out of his chair hehe)

funny noises are not funny (They so are - especially during sex)

i will not call Master Dr. Death (I call him a nazi sometimes)

i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe Dom hunting (Why not?)

a burp is not an appropriate response to Master ( plead the fifth)

i will not eat all Master's m & m's while he is at work (switch the m&m's with snickers and . . . I surely don't know where they went - the kids must have ate 'em.)

i will not peek out of the blindfold (hey you're only in trouble if you get caught)

i can not fire Master (I tried to fire K the other day and he laughed at me. *sigh*)

i will refrain from saying "Hail Satan!" when i don't like Master's orders (see the nazi comment)


Sammy? Me?

 

[BiBunny]

"Goddammit, don't you fucking touch me again!" is NOT a good way to appeal to his more tender side when you're looking for some mercy in a particularly painful scene. Not that I've ever done this or anything.

 

[TooTiredToLive]

From the Wizdomme pages:

Top Ten Ways to be a SAM
by Lady K

Get up on the wrong side of the rack this morning? A little miffed after that 12 hour bondage scene yesterday? Not getting enough of the whip? Perhaps you are just feeling kinda SAMmy? These are the top ten ways to really show your dom/me how you feel:

10. For those of you with FemDommes... take out your toolbox, grab a hacksaw, and cut the heels off of her pretty, new thigh-high boots.

9. Grab the Super-Glue and glue the tips of all his nipple clamps together.

8. Practice your knot tying with his bondage ropes... make sure you leave the knots in before you slip them back in the toybox.

7. In the middle of that morning spanking, start painting your fingernails.

6. After the fingernails are done, sweetly say "Are you going to be finished soon? I can't get to my toes in this position."

5. While you are waiting for him to finish spanking, tie his shoelaces together.

4. Is he rushing to meet a deadline at work? Perfect! Call every 15 minutes with questions like "How many sugars should I put in my coffee?" and "Do you know what time and channel 'Oprah' comes on?" Make sure if his secretary or a colleague answers that you ask to speak to "Master Bill".

3. Call his wife/girlfriend/mother and say "I just tested positive for the clap. I think you should have Master Bill go to the free clinic."

2. Take out that nail polish and decorate all his toys with pink polka-dots.

And the Number 1 way to let your dom/me know you are *not* a happy little sub...
The next time you go to a play party or BDSM club meeting, slap a "Kick me: I am really just a submissive in disguise!!" sign on his back!

(7, 6, 5, 4 and 2 all made me chuckle; however, NONE of these are recommended for those who would like to sit down in the next few days!)

 

[Toa_lin]

"I will not be waiting on the couch in nothing but a towel and my breasts exposed when Master comes home, and then run away hoping he'll chase"


NOTE: My pyl HAS done this... .and i DID chase....and she was NOT able to sit down for the next five hours

 

[MissShelly]

These are great. I especially like the one about not using Master's gags on the children. So tempting!

 

[CollarAndFeather]

9. Grab the Super-Glue and glue the tips of all his nipple clamps together.

O.O ...I immediately got the image of the clamps being cleaned off completely, the glue re-applied, & them put on my nipples for the glue to set... yipes!