A subbie's blackboard lesson

[James G 5]

I noticed quite a few subbies over in "Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom" who looked like they needed a reminder to be respectful, so I thought I would offer this list of rules......
Ya'll feel free to add any you can think of


A subbie's blackboard lessons
( a la Bart Simpson)

i will not carve the flogger handles

i will not spank others

i will not aim for Master's head

i will not yell safeword in the grocery store

i will not sell the names on my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer

i will not read and giggle at Master's logs from the Dom Forum

i will not yell fire everytime Master lights a candle

funny noises are not funny

i will not slap Master with my bra

Punishment is not boring or pointless

i will not call Master Dr. Death

i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society

i will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Master's D/s party

i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe Dom hunting

i will not bring sheep to the subbie forum

a burp is not an appropriate response to Master

i will not eat all Master's m & m's while he is at work

i will not yell she's tied up at the subbie forum

Master's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet

i will not call Master spud head, butt head, or any kind of head

Masters ARE perfect

Mud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Master

i will NOT wear panties

i will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Master's D/s parties

i will not peek out of the blindfold

there is no such thing as "slave immunity"

i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don't have permission

i did not win an emmy for my last session

i will not hide all Master's toys

all play and no work does not a good slave make

i will not say "oh Master you're the bestest and biggest" just to get a spanking

i can not fire Master

my last assignment was not stolen by one armed net hackers

i will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips

i will not perform breast implant surgery on the newbies

i will refrain from saying "Hail Satan!" when i don't like Master's orders

i will not remind Master daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr. anniversary

i will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all Master's clamps

i will not use Master's bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pool

i will not wear Master's underwear on my head

Master's dog does not stink

i will not torment the newbies with the violet wand

....and last but not least

i will not use the pages from Master's Dom Handbook to start the grill...

 

[yuppietowngirl]

hehehe this is brilliant...just came in from the "Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom" door *s*

so we can't use these ideas *s* hmmm *hands on hips...tapping toe* Why not?

 

[James G 5]

hehehe this is brilliant...just came in from the "Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom" door *s*

so we can't use these ideas *s* hmmm *hands on hips...tapping toe* Why not?

Didn't say you couldn't
Said it might not be a good idea
Not that I would ever DELIBERATELY set someone up to get punished
I mean, do I look like some sort of sadistic ?

 

[yuppietowngirl]

Didn't say you couldn't
Said it might not be a good idea
Not that I would ever DELIBERATELY set someone up to get punished
I mean, do I look like some sort of sadistic ?

hehehe oh never...that thought never crossed my mind *weg*

 

[James G 5]

hehehe oh never...that thought never crossed my mind *weg*

(Luckily she hasn't seen the pics of me setting subbies on fire..........)

 

[yuppietowngirl]

(Luckily she hasn't seen the pics of me setting subbies on fire..........)

ohhh so that explains the lil horns *s* Had wondered but was trying to be polite and not ask *s*

 

[James G 5]

ohhh so that explains the lil horns *s* Had wondered but was trying to be polite and not ask *s*

Awww
I'm not actually too subtle....do you have sigs turned off?
Mine starts with "Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name....."

 

[AvaAdore]

Master's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet

but it's SOOOOOOOOOOO tempting!!
(mind you, she's not my daughter, but my noisy little sister)
hehe, i have handcuffed her to a bookshelf once.

 

[UCE]

"i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society"

LOL, if I did that one, _my_ master would punish me so hard I wouldn't be able to walk for a year.

 

[James G 5]

"i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society"

LOL, if I did that one, _my_ master would punish me so hard I wouldn't be able to walk for a year.

Nice to see you know your place

 

[three eyes open]

You forgot the one that says "i will nto remind master that he is a sub to the cat".

My husband loves to tell me that. I've told him that's a really old joke, but he can't seem to help himself. Sigh.........

Blessed be,
3eyes

 

[Bondagebunni]

You forgot the one that says "i will nto remind master that he is a sub to the cat".

My husband loves to tell me that. I've told him that's a really old joke, but he can't seem to help himself. Sigh.........

Blessed be,
3eyes

heehee...i like that one...*grins*

 

[redelicious]

Hi Dr. Death!!

 

[yuppietowngirl]

You forgot the one that says "i will nto remind master that he is a sub to the cat".

Agrees with Bondagebunni...this one is brilliant. Knowing the personality of cats *s*

 

[Bondagebunni]

Agrees with Bondagebunni...this one is brilliant. Knowing the personality of cats *s*

'specially my cats

 

[yuppietowngirl]

'specially my cats

I used to have a cat that we nicknamed "Attitude Kitty"...and somehow I inherited that nickname *s*

 

[Bondagebunni]

I used to have a cat that we nicknamed "Attitude Kitty"...and somehow I inherited that nickname *s*

we have three kitties...all of them are evil incarnate...i didn't know there were so many evils to be incarnates of...

I feel that since i am continuing a completely irrevelant conversation in this thread, that i should contribute...

"i will not tell Master that he's 'cute' when weilding a whip"

how's that one?

 

[yuppietowngirl]

we have three kitties...all of them are evil incarnate...i didn't know there were so many evils to be incarnates of...

I feel that since i am continuing a completely irrevelant conversation in this thread, that i should contribute...

"i will not tell Master that he's 'cute' when weilding a whip"

how's that one?

Yes....I guess you are right Bondagebunni

So I will contribute:

"I will not say to Sir..."so who has attitude now" " *s*

 

[Bondagebunni]

"i will not tell Master that his penis is cute...Master's dick is not cute, it is sexy and impressive"

 

[redelicious]

I will not stick out my tongue

(learned the hard way, btw)

 

[James G 5]

I will not stick out my tongue

(learned the hard way, btw)

Yeah, nipple clips can sting on the tongue

 

[Bondagebunni]

Yeah, nipple clips can sting on the tongue

the tongue isn't the only place they sting

 

[James G 5]

the tongue isn't the only place they sting

I would certainly hope not

 

[redelicious]

<snip>

i will NOT wear panties

<snip>

Yet another learned from experience. Geez, WHAT was I thinking?

 

[Bondagebunni]

I would certainly hope not

*laughs* i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not...>.< don't you hate when you can't tell? heehee