❓ PLP Inquires❓

[Fermina_Daza]

03.06.20

Is there a sweet spot for you where tech and sex meet? Is the expanding availability of ways to get kinky with and through tech exciting or unnerving to you?

Do you think new "social norms" are being created and could the concept of monogamy include a sex robot? Discuss!

I love this topic. I’m all about tech sex. I have a Vibease where I can grant control remotely to a person or sync it to music or audiobooks. It can also be “worn” during sex with a person.

But taking it a bit deeper, there is a need for advanced technology. I’m in a spousal caretaker support group and one of the topics often brought up is sex. Most of the caregivers in the group have partners with Alzheimer’s/dementia. I admire these caregivers because they know things aren’t going to get better and yet they continue. But the question has been raised should a caretaker’s wants/needs be completely ignored secondary to the spouse? Is it cheating if your partner doesn’t know who you are on any given day? Having some form of companionship for these caregivers in the form of tech eases the guilt of “cheating” without also the burden of maintaining an outside relationship.

So bring on the Stepford husbands, er, sex robots!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.06.20

Is there a sweet spot for you where tech and sex meet? Is the expanding availability of ways to get kinky with and through tech exciting or unnerving to you?

Do you think new "social norms" are being created and could the concept of monogamy include a sex robot? Discuss!

For me sex and tech probably stay where they are now. Text, cam. I like the idea of bluetooth toys but they are prohibitively expensive and I feel like they may be more distracting for me.

Now - I have had the displeasure to watch some VR porn and let me tell you, it's the most upsetting pornographic experience I've ever had. Between watching the male POV where I looked down to see my ripped abs and giant cock (not to mention the girl riding me seemed at least 2.5 bigger than me and gigantess porn isn't really my thing) and watching the female POV where the nordic male licking my virtual pussy was making thr most upsetting eye contact with me - let's just say it was an experience.

I think sex robots and dolls have a place for some people who for whatever reasons need them. (I think there is a lot to go into there but Lit probably isn't the place.) I think tech can be helpful for people who need contact- especially those of us here but I'm not sure anything is a perfect substitution for physical touch.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.10.20

Do opposites really attract? Have you ever been attracted or in a relationship with someone who was your polar opposite? Did you balance each other or just butt heads?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

03.10.20

Do opposites really attract? Have you ever been attracted or in a relationship with someone who was your polar opposite? Did you balance each other or just butt heads?

Most of my relationships have been with people who are quite opposite of myself. I have always been attracted to people who are different from what know. Both in just everyday and relationships. If you are unusual to me, I want to talk to you. If I go to a party or a convention, I scan the crowd looking for people who look unique, and go chat them up. Anything that made it to relationship level, we usually balanced each other, but there was one similarity that always held true. There was always an open mind and an acceptance that there are many ways to live, many ways to get to the same place, and an appreciation of differences in people, whether it be cultural, sociological, cognitive, psychological, or what not, on both sides.

I don't think anyone with a closed mind could ever be involved with someone opposite themselves. If someone always believes their way is the only right way to do things, act, and simply be; they will just nitpick, insult, patronize, complain, disrespect and condemn the other person until the other walks away. It is the loss of the person with the closed mind in my opinion though. I have learned so much and gained so many experiences through my relationships with people who were completely different than myself. Diversity isn't only a positive in corporate environments, but in social ones as well. Though I guess, we weren't complete opposites, being there was always an open mind, but otherwise there were several harsh contradictions, not only with myself, but also my prior and future relationships.

 

[AveryElle]

03.10.20

Do opposites really attract? Have you ever been attracted or in a relationship with someone who was your polar opposite? Did you balance each other or just butt heads?

I think a little friction in some areas is a good thing. I don’t want to be exactly like my spouse and he’s definitely not like me. But in what really matters, we align.

I’ve been in relationships where the things I am passionate about, the other person was polar opposite. Granted, angry sex was fun, but it wasn’t like I was going to compromise my values for anyone else.

I like healthy disagreement but shared values. Too many differences and I don’t know how people make it work. I’m looking at you, Conways.

 

[AlpineFresco]

I'd say I'm close to both Avery and Indie here. I do like differences, I like having things to discuss and even if I might dig in sometimes, I try to listen and I enjoy (sometimes mostly in hindsight!) having my mind changed. One of the joys of spending time with people is coming to understand different points of view on the world, and what that then does to my own perceptions.

Then again, there has to be some kind of underlying broadly similar sense of what's important. I could never be with anyone who had certain views.*

I like Indie's line a lot: "I want someone who makes me want to be a better person."

*Buuut I'm definitely adding angry sex to my bucket list

 

[AveryElle]

I

*Buuut I'm definitely adding angry sex to my bucket list

<gets angry at you>

 

[Paul_Chance]

03.10.20

Do opposites really attract? Have you ever been attracted or in a relationship with someone who was your polar opposite? Did you balance each other or just butt heads?

Speaking for myself that answer is - it depends. Attraction has a lot of components, literally hundreds of little things that rise up and get filed as positives and negatives and eventually the weight of them make us attracted to someone or not.

If by opposites we mean interested in other things (like a music, movies, etc., things that we expand into when exposed by a partner) or other styles of life then yes, the curiosity/learning factor can be a strong attraction point. I've certainly been involved with people who had interests in areas I had not prior to the relationship, and then learned through the relationship, all for the better.

If by opposite we mean personality traits, I'm a little more skeptical - the opposite of me would be short-tempered, unfair in relationships, drug addicted - LOL - the list goes on and in that case the answer would be "no". There are some personality traits I simple won't tolerate, so matter how much I was physically drawn to the person.

We've all had the experience of "I see someone, they look attractive" and then "then say or do something distastful or stupid" and the attraction vanishes in an instant. We've probably also had the other side of that "I see someone, they don't really catch my eye, they say do something excellent" and attractive wells.

So, the short answer is polar opposites - no. Different that me, even radically different, then yes.

 

[Karabare]

03.10.20

Do opposites really attract? Have you ever been attracted or in a relationship with someone who was your polar opposite? Did you balance each other or just butt heads?

Yes. Yes, or close enough to an opposite. Balance and butt heads. I could not stand someone like myself for too long. Too much type A and too many pairs of shoes lying around. Would be a dangerous living situation.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

03.10.20

Do opposites really attract? Have you ever been attracted or in a relationship with someone who was your polar opposite? Did you balance each other or just butt heads?

I've never been in a LTR with someone particularly like me. I'm so laid back and such that being with someone like me would be boring as fuck...though the thought of quiet snuggles on a couch while we each read books in silence for a while doesn't suck. But I digress.

There is something so attractive about someone with, for lack of a better term, a spark in their personality. You don't have to be the life of the party, but there's something about someone who is smart and witty, whose energy is almost infectious.

For some reason or another Type A-ish women work for me. It mostly balances out, because I'm not as Type A.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.10.20

Do opposites really attract? Have you ever been attracted or in a relationship with someone who was your polar opposite? Did you balance each other or just butt heads?

This, incidentally, turned out to be quite the timely question for me!

I do think opposites attract but I do think they refer to "chemistry" in relationships for a reason. Too opposite and it's bad, too alike and it's also bad. You have to find that right mixture and then it's fireworks.

I sometimes feel like he and I are very very opposite. He's incredibly smart (like legit intelligent), he's worldly and accomplished. He has self restraint and self motivation. He's been placed I know I'll never see and accomplished things I cant imagine ever accomplishing and sometimes I just wonder what he sees in me.

But then I see him without all of those surrounding things and we share so much. We value kindness and communication and humility. (We are superstars of humility. ) We try to be patient and encouraging. Things matter less to both of us than experience. We aren't perfect but we are quick to admit it. I think somehow the mixture is just right.

I've been with people who are very opposite and it just created constant conflict. I've been with someone too much like me and all that did was remind me how fucking annoying I can be.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.16.20

I never thought I'd be one of those people who said "Lit isn't the same" but I'm feeling it increasingly.

What has changed for the better since you've been on Lit? And what has changed for the worse? Do you think the problems are mirrored by all social media?

 

[base10]

03.16.20

I never thought I'd be one of those people who said "Lit isn't the same" but I'm feeling it increasingly.

What has changed for the better since you've been on Lit? And what has changed for the worse? Do you think the problems are mirrored by all social media?

This place doesn't feel the same as it did. I'm not sure if that's me though, or it changed. I wasn't having the fun I used to, and as such stopped coming around.

Maybe I'll fall back in, I've got too much time on my hands now that I'm basically stuck at home for the foreseeable future.

 

[LegendaryALT]

03.16.20

I never thought I'd be one of those people who said "Lit isn't the same" but I'm feeling it increasingly.

What has changed for the better since you've been on Lit? And what has changed for the worse? Do you think the problems are mirrored by all social media?

I have always had a different outlook, I saw the ugly side of Lit pretty early, I have also behaved ugly at times. I feel Lit is the same mostly, we just feel different about it, as we learn more about the real person behind the screen. For someone new, this is exciting and wanting to get to know people. For someone who has been here for a while, have seen the ugly side of other litsters, we're suspicious of alts, we have our set of friends and are weary of others.


I think my Outlook and how I deal with things now, has improved my experience. I don't feel Lit has changed for the better.

Reasons Lit has gotten worse.
Passive aggressive comments, mean comments for no reason, people not letting go of grudges and continue to throw secret cheap shots in their posts


I don't do social media much, but this is very similar to it. It's still online, behind the screen

 

[Dribble]

Lit is nothing like it was. It probably never will be again. We used to have threads with 40, 50 people laughing and flirting. Clips of people dancing w a hat. Just being silly. We had threads where deep, intelligent conversations occurred, and you felt safe to add your view. Your threads, remind me of those days.

Why has it changed? Society is far more selfish. It is me oriented. It is how do I get my fix? Society, has lost empathy. Decency. I went to the grocery store today, and found bare shelves. Why? Panic. They never lived through a world war. They never lived through a depression. I was raised by my grandparents...they taught me to help my neighbor. To pull together in hard times. That panic only harms you. I think Lit is just reflecting societal norms.

What has changed for the better? Those I call friends...are real. I would do anything for them. When you suddenly realize you have talked to the same people on close to a daily basis for going on 2 to 3 years...they obviously mean something. And that something, has nothing to do with sex.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

03.16.20

I never thought I'd be one of those people who said "Lit isn't the same" but I'm feeling it increasingly.

What has changed for the better since you've been on Lit? And what has changed for the worse? Do you think the problems are mirrored by all social media?

The spontaneity is gone. Can't comment on other social media because I am not there.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

03.16.20

I never thought I'd be one of those people who said "Lit isn't the same" but I'm feeling it increasingly.

What has changed for the better since you've been on Lit? And what has changed for the worse? Do you think the problems are mirrored by all social media?

I joined Lit in 2015 (under this username). It was a safe place for me to flirt without any real intent behind it as I was healing from my divorce. Those that knew me could say I was lighthearted, flirty, and a bit sassy. But then I ventured from the PG, bought into the hype the GB was the ONLY legit place to post, ended up in a “litlationship,” and that jovial nature turned into distrust of everyone, constant defense of myself, scathing attacks, and then a huge, nasty demise ending in being banned.

Returning to Lit wasn’t something I intended to do. Had J not gotten sick leaving me feeling pretty isolated I like to hope I wouldn’t have. Lit is not the same for me, not in the initial spark of Lit nor the constant feeling of being on guard toward “the end.” But I’m not the same either. Now I flit over the boards to what interests me, trying to keep it light and silly. I burned a lot of bridges toward the end; I’ve tried to make amends where I could but have also not gotten close to anyone. I can’t say the problems have Ben mirrored in all social media for me. I have one person I met from Lit on my social media at this point and I trust him implicitly, but I don’t let any of those worlds collide with this one anymore. Lit is my place to kill time when I don’t feel like reading or want to be social without really being social. I hope to keep it that way.

 

[Dribble]

I joined Lit in 2015 (under this username). It was a safe place for me to flirt without any real intent behind it as I was healing from my divorce. Those that knew me could say I was lighthearted, flirty, and a bit sassy. But then I ventured from the PG, bought into the hype the GB was the ONLY legit place to post, ended up in a “litlationship,” and that jovial nature turned into distrust of everyone, constant defense of myself, scathing attacks, and then a huge, nasty demise ending in being banned.

Returning to Lit wasn’t something I intended to do. Had J not gotten sick leaving me feeling pretty isolated I like to hope I wouldn’t have. Lit is not the same for me, not in the initial spark of Lit nor the constant feeling of being on guard toward “the end.” But I’m not the same either. Now I flit over the boards to what interests me, trying to keep it light and silly. I burned a lot of bridges toward the end; I’ve tried to make amends where I could but have also not gotten close to anyone. I can’t say the problems have Ben mirrored in all social media for me. I have one person I met from Lit on my social media at this point and I trust him implicitly, but I don’t let any of those worlds collide with this one anymore. Lit is my place to kill time when I don’t feel like reading or want to be social without really being social. I hope to keep it that way.

I like reading other's honesty. Thank you

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I joined Lit in 2015 (under this username). It was a safe place for me to flirt without any real intent behind it as I was healing from my divorce. Those that knew me could say I was lighthearted, flirty, and a bit sassy. But then I ventured from the PG, bought into the hype the GB was the ONLY legit place to post, ended up in a “litlationship,” and that jovial nature turned into distrust of everyone, constant defense of myself, scathing attacks, and then a huge, nasty demise ending in being banned.

Returning to Lit wasn’t something I intended to do. Had J not gotten sick leaving me feeling pretty isolated I like to hope I wouldn’t have. Lit is not the same for me, not in the initial spark of Lit nor the constant feeling of being on guard toward “the end.” But I’m not the same either. Now I flit over the boards to what interests me, trying to keep it light and silly. I burned a lot of bridges toward the end; I’ve tried to make amends where I could but have also not gotten close to anyone. I can’t say the problems have Ben mirrored in all social media for me. I have one person I met from Lit on my social media at this point and I trust him implicitly, but I don’t let any of those worlds collide with this one anymore. Lit is my place to kill time when I don’t feel like reading or want to be social without really being social. I hope to keep it that way.

Thank you for sharing! This is the first time I feel like I really got to know you a bit (dont run away!) and I can totally empathize with what you're saying. Thanks for sharing!

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I like reading other's honesty. Thank you

Thank you for sharing! This is the first time I feel like I really got to know you a bit (dont run away!) and I can totally empathize with what you're saying. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you both for reading! I often wonder if people bother to read what others post. And I saw a tank top last night that said “Running is for criminals and weirdos.” But I may walk quickly away.

 

[parker77]

when you’re new to Lit, there’s a good deal of inherent excitement. many things to explore. intriguing people to meet. sometimes a flirtation; sometimes it evolves into something more. it’s fun, entertaining and produces some enjoyable endorphins. it’s addictive. but like any drug, as Phantogram once said, ”used to take one, now it takes four. you don’t get me high any more.”

so, it’s my hypothesis that from time to time the thrill is lost. that’s when Lit doesn’t seem the same any more. that plus the fact that nothing in this world is truly static. nor would we want it to be. so Lit truly is always changing in small ways. but if you’re here everyday, the changes might be difficult to identify.

so, there’s my theory of the Lit Universe and the “doesn’t seem the same” phenomenon.

 

[AbsintheFather]

03.16.20

I never thought I'd be one of those people who said "Lit isn't the same" but I'm feeling it increasingly.

What has changed for the better since you've been on Lit? And what has changed for the worse? Do you think the problems are mirrored by all social media?

I like Dribble, FD and Parker's comments, I think they're very spot-on. Lit changes as the groups of people on the boards turn-over, we change too.

Many times I've heard people compare Lit to high school on the threads. Usually they're talking about drama or cliques or personalities. It's usually done in a joking manner but there is some truth to it in this respect. Litsters come into the board as freshmen or newbs and tend to hang out and post with those who came on the boards around the same time. They make a lot of the same discoveries and mistakes and it's all exciting and makes for good fodder to discuss. As time goes on, we tend to move through Lit with our friends, or classmates. Then, as members of your group fall away from Lit you're left on your own and it really does seem different.

We change too. As time goes on, the excitement wears off and we become more experienced and jaded. Our lives change and the reasons we came to Lit for may not be relevant any more. The relationships we've had play into it for good and bad. There is also becomes a repetitiveness that can seem, well, boring.

I've always said that you get out of Lit what you're willing to put into it. After a while you kinda get tired of putting in, especially when the payback doesn't seem worth it. PLP, you've put a lot into Lit, given a lot of time and creativity. I'm thinking that that things might be feeling out of balance for you.

That's where I am. Just kind of bored and tired of posting. I chat quietly in the back of the room with a few old friends, but leave the active socializing and flirting to the new kids.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

03.16.20

I never thought I'd be one of those people who said "Lit isn't the same" but I'm feeling it increasingly.

What has changed for the better since you've been on Lit? And what has changed for the worse? Do you think the problems are mirrored by all social media?

In terms of changing for the better or for the worse...I think there is a "social media" influence, as there are on all platforms. And that certainly has positives and negatives.

But in terms of the biggest changes here, most of those changes have been in my perspective rather than in actual content.

I went from a complete lurker who lived as a voyeur to the forums, to developing off-Lit friendships and relationships on various messaging media, to a prolific poster who was probably too open about myself...and then leaving (twice) out of hurt and frustration with myself in the last year.

...and now back to being predominantly a lurker who doesn't talk to anyone really. Except for the very, very, very few people whom I still talk to off of Lit. And even they probably would like me to shut up more often than not.

So Lit hasn't changed...I have.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Shut up.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Many times I've heard people compare Lit to high school on the threads. Usually they're talking about drama or cliques or personalities. It's usually done in a joking manner but there is some truth to it in this respect. Litsters come into the board as freshmen or newbs and tend to hang out and post with those who came on the boards around the same time. They make a lot of the same discoveries and mistakes and it's all exciting and makes for good fodder to discuss. As time goes on, we tend to move through Lit with our friends, or classmates. Then, as members of your group fall away from Lit you're left on your own and it really does seem different.

This is some major truth. I've noticed that as my original people have drifted away. Thank you for putting it into words.