❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hey babe. Wanna get naked?

Haha! You go ahead.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Ouch! Rejection hurts, Honey. Right here <points to heart> and here <points to cunt>.

There, there. We can still be friends.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

^^^^ This is a entirely too accurate representation of how sexting with me goes.

Have you heard my story about the guy who tore a muscle in his back while we were having phone sex and had to go to the ER?

You're better off without me.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.
*Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not? Yes, I do. I came here originally to write, and although I'm a novice, I enjoy writing. Specifically, I like writing about sex. And it gets me off (see below).
*Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions? Both. I have wide-ranging discussions with lots of people about all kinds of things. Most are not all that sexual. I talk about writing about sex with a couple of authors. I talk about life with others friends. Occasionally sex comes up, often not at all. I also have co-writers; playmates with whom I role play and write sex stories just for us. It's fun, and it even helps my writing.
*How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics? Adaptable. I change my style in keeping with the limits we agree on, the partner and the scenario. Writing speed depends on what else is going on, and how we're playing things. I like what a playmate calls "the slow burn" one person writes, the partner responds whenever they can. I like to think I am flexible. I can write (and enjoy writing) pure filth, rough sex, BDSM of all flavours, CNC, loving, gentle eroticism. About anything other than romance (too much of a nerd) and actual non-consensual.
Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?Typos make me mad when I miss them. It showsxwhen I write on my tablet or phone instead of my computer. (There's one now). I also tend to make more mistakes when I'm rushed.
*Do you self stimulate while texting? Of course. If my writing isn't getting me hard, it's not going to get her wet. I like to think I can do that with my writing, but you'll have to ask my co-writers.
*Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

I think so. I certainly try very hard. I mean, I would have to be a much better writer to make someone feel the sting of a hand on an ass or a butt plug sliding in, but I think I can convey the Dom or sub attitude for example. The rest happens in her head, but only if I did it well. Thats why we both need ground rules and limits. (We all have hard limits that can't be breached).

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Have you heard my story about the guy who tore a muscle in his back while we were having phone sex and had to go to the ER?

You're better off without me.

What a woman! I hope you're suitably proud, kid. That's impressive.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

What a woman! I hope you're suitably proud, kid. That's impressive.

LOL!! Are you kidding? I felt horrible!

I also missed the phone sex.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

You're a vicious tease, Wild Honey.

Nope, that title's already taken.

I have been told I'm an exquisite tease though, and i rather like that.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.
*Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not?
*Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions?
*How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics?
*Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?
*Do you self stimulate while texting?
*Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

*I call it rockstar cyber, baby! (HT: y )
*Yes. With the right person/s. It's fun, it's sexy, it's a good way to learn more about myself and my partner/s. And if it gets them off, that's fun, too.
*My roleplaying tends to be spontaneous, lighthearted, short-term, typically as an entertainment for others within the context of a public thread or chat group. I see it more as a creative endeavor than a way for me to reach orgasm. Laughter is sexy, so in that sense, a good little frolic may put me in the mood, but i need something altogether different to get me there.
*My style in private is conversational, no-frills, with as much immediacy as we can manage. I want to know what they're actually wearing, what they're actually doing. I don't talk to them as though i'm some flawless creature who's just stepped off of a porn set, i talk to them as though we are lovers in the flesh, he's just run to the store, and he'll be back in ten minutes. I like the intimacy of real.
*I find consistently poor spelling and grammar to be a huge distraction, yes, unless there's a good reason for them to be focused Elsewhere.
*i haven't self-stimulated during sexting in years. It's just not a very effective way for me to hit that high note. If i want to make that happen, i need real time audio.
*BDSM? Hell to the yeesssss.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration? Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice? What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc) What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

 

[Stilllearning2b]

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration? Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice? What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc) What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

*takes out pencil and paper*
Ready to take notes.

 

[AnnieLit]

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration? Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice? What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc) What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

For me ideas come almost exclusively from pictures and stories. Little bit from porn videos, but I don't watch them much.

Wasn't really asking for advice, but I did have a thread here on Lit about homemade implements and couple ideas from there did make their way from theory to practice.

 

[hotwords229_A]

You're a vicious tease, Wild Honey.

Nope, that title's already taken.

I have been told I'm an exquisite tease though, and i rather like that.

That was an awesome callback to an awesome person. Well done!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

That was an awesome callback to an awesome person. Well done!

Haha, thanks!

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration? Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice? What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc) What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

As a Domme/top, I'm fairly creative without requiring much in the way of external input beyond what i come across naturally during the course of a normal day. Shit just pops into my head and out my mouth and we roll with it Woohoo! I am intuitive and spontaneous, so what we do is absolutely influenced by who I'm with, but typically not in any conscious, intentional way.

I do have a short list of people whose opinions i value, and when i was still finding my way, i spent more time in their boxes than i do now. I think mostly, i have become really comfortable with who i am as a PYL, and with a good partner, it just flows, like a conversation. We inspire each other, feed off of that energy being handed back and forth, and it becomes this wonderful dance of circles that expand and contract - that breathe, if you will.

The best advice I've gotten is to not worry how anyone else does it, but to be confident in doing what pleases me and my partner. Pretty solid words of wisdom.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration?

I have a very overactive imagination. I read lots of stuff on Lit in lots of categories. PornHub (but I am kind of selective). Websites like Two Knotty Boys and The Duchy.

Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice?

I'm relatively new to Lit (Saturday is my 1-year Litiversary). I'm just at the point where I feel comfortable discussing my kinks on the boards. I have discussed various aspects of Kink in a very frank, forthright manner with a Lit friend now sadly gone. We gave and got lots of ideas. It helped that she was mostly a sub, who had switched on occasion. I'm mostly Dominant, but crave an occasional sub experience. I miss that discussion.

What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc)

Again, chats with my Lit friend produced lots of ideas. I regularly lurked Annie's "Homemade" thread. Several others produced ideas (I enjoy Things that Make You Uncomfortable... But Turn You on..."). There was also a thread somewhere about using Household Objects.

What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

A Lit friend who advised me to stalk a person's posts before engaging them in conversation on Lit. She's right. [/QUOTE]

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration? Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice? What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc) What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

When I'm bored and horny, ideas just come to me, its a gift and a curse. But I get a lot of ideas from all kinds of places. Porn, books, movies, other Doms. The Upper floor videos are a fun place for inspiration, but understand they are a very unique situation. The subs on Lit can also provide a wealth of information. Just listening to what turns them on and what's been done to them is an interesting way to develop new techniques. I think the best thing anyone can do is simply listen, even your own sub will tell you what is exciting or terrifying for them if you listen. Then you just have to work it so you didn't learn it from them and came up with it on your own

I've gotten a lot of advice over the years, being able to adapt a scene, task, punishment for your own use is a good skill to learn. What's the fun if you just copy and paste everything. Being able to accept advice and tips is good for growth, but you need to make it your own.

I think maybe the single advice I got was, stop worrying about what he/she is doing. You're the Dom, you know what you want, you know what your sub wants. Your relationship is yours, not anyone else.

My advice, learn about how pain and pleasure work in the brain, and how they trigger nerves. The more you know about the nature of the two, the more interesting and creative you can be. Also, try the things you do to a sub, you can do a lot of harm with very little work. If you've never had eucalyptus or peppermint oil spread on your genitalia, you can easily overdo it. Be safe and don't try to rush into things you or your sub isn't ready for.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Tan, I'm sorry about your friend leaving.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Tan, I'm sorry about your friend leaving.

Thanks, Honey. It happens too often.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Thanks, Honey. It happens too often.

Yeah...

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration? Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice? What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc) What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

I agree I get inspired by images and writings. I'm inspired but twisting everyday things and making them something special. I like the idea of take little nuggets of past experiences and making them something new but... I do struggle with if that would be awkward. Also... how to bring somethings up without it feeling like topping from the bottom? I like trying new things and being pushed but I don't like doing it for the sake of doing it, if that makes sense.

The best advice I got from a peer was to read a lot and admit what I don't know but I want to know.

 

[Paul_Chance]

#39

Fresh Ideas

Where do you get fresh inspiration? Have you ever asked another Dom/sub for ideas or advice? What about recommendations for implementing new structures within your dynamic (rules, limits, play ideas, tasks, etc) What is some of the best advice you've gotten from a peer?

The short answer would be pretty much everywhere. I’ve always found the more mental aspects of BDSM most arousing to me. Technique matters, but technique without psychological engagement is just technique. Combine good technique with hitting all the right psychological buttons and you have explosive encounters in the very good way.

I don’t recall ever asking for ideas, but I’ve certainly had good tutorship in means and methods. For me the sexual power of BDSM lies variations on the theme.

Read the rulebook and then throw it away and improvise. Mix it up and make it your own. Once you reach the ability to improvise you’ll find everything flows naturally and organically.

Probably the best piece of advice I ever got from anyone wants to relax and don’t worry if you were doing it right, instead focus on the natural flow. (The exception being the safety aspects of your rougher forms of BDSM. Those you should never skimp on or take shortcuts.)

I had an encounter once when I was on vacation for a couple of weeks where I was the third in a couple who was also on vacation. They really enjoyed playing variations on the power dynamic – we did everything ranging from him taking the dominant role and telling me what to do to her, to him being tied to a chair, blindfolded, while she told him what I was doing to her, or I told him what I was doing to her. It was kind of like taking a intensive seminar in some serious kink. Of course the sex was the best part of it, but the second best part was pretty much every day as we hung around the pool or the bar area we would talk about what we had done before - great little conversations about what works for who and why.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

#39 (suggested)

Have there been aspects of kink which you’d always wanted to try, but which turned out not to be what you’d hoped?

Or contrariwise: have there been things you never thought you’d enjoy which you found amazing when you eventually tried them?

I said elsewhere that I have more kinks than a $5 garden hose. But there's always one more. Outside of my hard limits, I will likely try anything.

I have to say, regarding the second part, that I didn't think that I would enjoy restraining a partner. She initiated it; she whispered hoarsely 'TIE ME UP' as I removed my necktie after an evening out. Everything flowed from there.

I have a friend who craves humiliation and degradation. I don't get it. I tried it in a SRP post (name calling mostly), in order to understand my friend's kink. Nope, still don't get it. I assume the other party gets satisfaction from it, but even with consent and encouragement I don't get anything from it, and I feel uncomfortable doing it. I guess I can still grow.

 

[Jada59]

I said elsewhere that I have more kinks than a $5 garden hose. But there's always one more. Outside of my hard limits, I will likely try anything.

I have to say, regarding the second part, that I didn't think that I would enjoy restraining a partner. She initiated it; she whispered hoarsely 'TIE ME UP' as I removed my necktie after an evening out. Everything flowed from there.

I have a friend who craves humiliation and degradation. I don't get it. I tried it in a SRP post (name calling mostly), in order to understand my friend's kink. Nope, still don't get it. I assume the other party gets satisfaction from it, but even with consent and encouragement I don't get anything from it, and I feel uncomfortable doing it. I guess I can still grow.

Agree with the humiliation thing. I did try it some years ago. He wanted it. Nope. I did try for a few minutes. Had to stop.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I dug up a thread on humiliation on the Talk board for your perusal.
(Also posted a response that i felt was too long to include here.)

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1083303

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I dug up a thread on humiliation on the Talk board for your perusal.
(Also posted a response that i felt was too long to include here.)

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1083303

Thanks again Honey.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#40 (submitted)

When you encounter a Kink that you don't get, how do you react? Live and let live? Get away from me you perv? Please explain? Something else?